


Protect the Genius

by ellaaa25



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-02-13 17:02:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 101,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21497497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellaaa25/pseuds/ellaaa25
Summary: Tobin is a 16 year old college sophmore brought into the Olympic Squad. the team protects their rookie and helps her figure it out. When she gets back to college, her new roommate brings out the best in the young genius.I DO NOT POST ANYWHERE ELSE - I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR OTHERS TO TAKE PARTS OF MY STORIES AND USE IT IN THEIR OWN, EVEN IF THE CHARACTERS ARE ALTERED OR CHANGED.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 402
Kudos: 1252





	1. Training Camp

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing except the mistakes. Hope you all enjoy

**January 2008**

“I need that girl in my squad. She is an amazing talent and I want to take her to Beijing Anson.” Pia was trying to stay calm, but the coach at UNC wasn’t making it easy on her.

“I understand that, and I am happy about it, I am. But I am not the one who makes that decision. She is here on an academic scholarship and she is a minor. The dean and her sister have the last say.”

“Why can she not study online?”

Anson sighed. “Because she is doing three degrees and all at an Honours level. She needs to be on campus to make all the required classes.”

Pia groaned. “How can I make this work? I have two college kids coming in this month for camp and I wanted her to round out the group.”

“How many camps do you have?”

Pia flicked through her calendar. “This one goes till the middle of February, the next one three weeks till the end of March and then the one from late April goes until the Olympics.”

Anson sighed. “Can you do it if she is only there for the last one? The first one is definitely out. The kid has to get her braces out in the first week of February and she refuses to miss that appointment for anything. She has been counting down to it since pre-season.” Pia chuckled but slowly realised the coach was dead serious. “The kids quirky. You learn how to manage it and this year the team is really good at helping her out. Other students, not so much. Her brain does so many things in so many ways that counting the days till she gets hers braces out wasn’t that odd.”

Pia motioned for him to continue. “There will be a shit ton of exams around the first camp as well as well. The second one is assessment and presentation time. I know her sister and she won’t want her missing school and risk her scholarship, and the Dean will make her finish all her work first, which includes presentations. The third one is the one I would push for and hold firm on. It is your best bet.”

Pia thought about it and nodded. “It could work, but I need you to help train her and teach her if she can’t leave for camps.”

Anson smiled. “I’d be honoured. She is a good kid and a brilliant footballer. Training her is a pleasure.”

Pia smiled and started to work out a plan with the college coach. She would do whatever she could to get Tobin Heath in her Olympic Squad. She had something special.

* * *

**April 2008**

HAO, Hope and Carli were confused. They were in a meeting with Pia and she was updating them on the last player who was going to round out there Olympic roster. “Why is there going to be another new kid? Why didn’t she come with Amy and Lauren?” Hope asked.

“Those guys are actually college aged. This kid is younger. 16-year old prodigy who is even better at soccer. I think she is doing three degrees at the moment. Her school and guardian had to give permission for her to leave for the camp. They made her complete all of her assessments and exams before she could leave. She won’t be on a plane until tomorrow.” Pia explained. She had been fighting UNC for the kid for months. They had allowed her to go to the occasional youth camp, but pulling her out of school for the last month wasn’t something they wanted.

“What is her name?” HAO asked. She had a feeling she knew who it was.

“Tobin Heath.”

HAO spluttered. “Coach, that kid is talented. No arguments there. But I have played with her and she struggled with the social side of college. I don’t know her story, but I don’t think she has ever said a word to the team off the field, except to maybe Harris. They are like best buds.”

Pia nodded. “Which is why I am telling you to keep an eye on her. She has a horrible history. I will give you three an overview of it, and you will keep an eye on her. Her sister gave me permission to tell you the highlights so if something happened or Tobin panicked, we would have an idea of why.” She waited until they all agreed before continuing.

“Tobin has been raised by her older sister, Perry, since she was 6. Perry couldn’t take her in until she turned 18 and had her own place. When Tobin was 4, her family was in a nasty car accident. Perry and Tobin were the only survivors. Her time in foster care was, unforgiving to say the least. Perry did her best to get her moved out of the worst places, but it wasn’t a good two years for Tobin. She has scars, both mental and physical, from it.” Pia looked at the 3 players in front of her before continuing.

“Once she was with her sister, Tobin thrived. She is ridiculously smart, and Perry nurtured that. Her brain had her skipping grades and she started at UNC at 15. It was the first place she was challenged. Socially, yes, she does struggle. She has ADHD which is part of the reason she struggles. She can’t stay still. She was bullied and ostracized for most of her life and that also affected her social skills. She has anxiety and has panic attacks. It is hard for her to read people and her brain works in different ways and she sees the world uniquely. I am asking you three to keep an eye on her. Because everything I have seen from that girl is something worth fighting for, and only her sister has so far. I am trusting you three to protect that kid, because no one ever has.”

Hope, Carli and Heather were all humbled by their coach’s trust. “We will keep an eye on her.”

Pia nodded. “Thank you. Keep this to yourselves please. The staff will have other protocols in place to make sure she is comfortable. She will be nervous enough being the last one in and the youngest, she doesn’t need to know we know more than that.”

* * *

The next day Tobin arrived at camp. She looked young in her big glasses, beanie and US Soccer gear. Pia greeted her in the lobby and then directed her to her room. She was staying with Hope. The goalkeeper was one of the calmer players and no one ever dared to prank her room. It would be safe haven for the teenager.

Hope wasn’t there as she got changed for her first practice. Tobin was glad because it gave her more time to prepare herself.

She went down to the lobby and found the rest of the squad there ready to go. Pia saw her and waved her to the front. “Ladies, this is Tobin Heath. The third and final New Kid. Be nice or I am coming for you all.” The girls chuckled and they headed to the bus. A few introduced themselves, including Amy, Lauren, Hope and Carli. Heather already knew her, so she just said hello again.

Tobin stuttered out her hellos before she got on the bus. She sat next to Lauren while Amy sat in front of them and the two older girls started talking to her. Whether it was about school or soccer, they were just trying to make Tobin comfortable. Tobin appreciated it and was slowly responding to some of their questions. By the time they got to the field, she had even laughed at one of Amy’s jokes.

The training session brought out a different side of Tobin. She was driven and talking about the game. She was never still, and everyone could see her brain working in overdrive to make sure the play went perfectly. They saw exactly why Pia wanted her in the squad. She was amazing and was skilfully in another league to the girls. They noticed she did struggle on reading what her teammates were going to do in different situations, but after the first few times she generally had it locked down.

The first few weeks of camp saw the New Kids all bonding well. They were usually together but on occasion Tobin would go off by herself. While she had finished her classes for the year, she was still studying and learning. Players were finding her in weird places around the hotel reading ridiculously thick textbooks that made no sense to anyone but Tobin. Tobin was never still, even when she was reading. It wasn’t overt, but it could make some people annoyed. She tried to stop, but she often wasn’t aware she was doing it.

Carli, Hope and Heather were all rooming with a different New Kid, and they all got to see that connection forming quickly. Amy and Lauren helped bring out her jokey side and the kid in her. They all got the feeling she had to grow up quickly and never had much of a chance to be a kid.

* * *

One night in the fifth week of camp, Tobin was sitting in her bed trying to go through the play book that Pia had put together. It was full of notes on her teammates, set pieces, potential game plans and formations. But she could not concentrate or sit still to save her life. She wanted to run or jump or juggle but couldn’t because it was almost after curfew and she was rooming with Hope. Now she liked Hope, but she kind of scared her at the same time.

Hope was watching the young midfielder fidget and if she didn’t know why, she would have been horrifically annoyed. She had been rooming with the kid for almost a month, and hadn’t had a problem. The bouncing around the room and constant juggling could get annoying but she did tone it down if Hope asked. The New Kids were all over each other’s rooms and Carli and HAO had had the same experiences. They were happy as could be but knew to tone it down when they had too. Lauren and Amy were the two who really brought Tobin out of her shell.

Hope could see that Tobin was struggling with what she was doing and wanted to help her out, but she wasn’t sure how Tobin would take it. She didn’t want to point out her struggle in case she got upset and withdrew.

She watched the younger kid for a few more minutes before she moved. “Alright Heath, what’s the matter? You have been grumbling and fidgeting for the past 30 minutes looking at that book.”

Tobin froze and looked like a deer in headlights. She hadn’t realised that it had been so noticeable. Normally it was under control but the stress of needing to learn the playbook and not being able to must have made her twitchiness more noticeable.

Hope noticed her start to withdraw and made a split-second decision. She got out of her bed and put her shoes on with jacket and told Tobin to do the same. Tobin was confused but followed the keeper out of the room and into a conference room. She brought the book with her and the pair sat in the conference room near the whiteboard.

“Alright kid, what is bothering you about the playbook? You were struggling in the room and that is a place of rest. No point getting frustrated somewhere you are meant to be calm.” Hope was patient and waited until Tobin was ready to answer.

Tobin refused to make eye contact and thought about her response. She opened the book to the notes of her teammates and pushed it across to Hope. “The other stuff I get. It is easy and once it is done in training, I know it. But I don’t know how to read my teammates sometimes. This has notes on everyone and they make no sense because I haven’t seen it happen. Like if someone wants the ball to feet, I can give it to them if they tell me. But if they don’t tell me I can’t always read their body language to get it in the right spot until it has happened like ten times. I should be able to tell straight away. I thought Ali was going to blow up at me today when I got it wrong, but I didn’t even know she was mad until someone told me. How can I play at my best on a team if I can’t even know where they want the ball and if they are mad at me?”

Tobin broke down into tears and started rocking herself in the chair. Hope got up quickly and pulled the younger girl out her chair and into her lap on the floor, holding her close while she sobbed. She let her shake and hit and try and break free but held firm until she collapsed boneless in her arms.

“I got you kid, I got you. And I will help you learn, okay? We will watch tape on everyone and how they move so you can memorize it and then when you see it in a game, you know where to put the ball yeah? And if you have a question about it, ask me or Carli or Heather and we can help you decipher it. Because everyone struggles with something, and everyone needs help sometimes.” Hope held the younger girl until she fell asleep and then texted Carli and HAO to come down to the conference room.

Carli rushed down and brought HAO with her, unaware that Tobin had passed out in Hope’s lap. She saw the pair of them and quickly went over, while HAO was unsure of what to do. Hope quickly informed them of what had happened and got them to talk with the other players about being a bit nicer and positive with their feedback. Regardless of who it was, no one should be in tears because of a teammate’s words.

* * *

The next morning Tobin woke up in her bed with Hope already up and ready for breakfast. She was a bit embarrassed and went to apologise, but Hope cut her off. “Never apologise for needing help. If I can help you I will, if I can’t I will find someone who can.”

They walked down to breakfast but were stopped from entering together by Ali, who grabbed Tobin by the hand and pulled her down the hallway. Hope let them go and went to find a seat in the dining hall.

Ali stopped the pair in an alcove and grabbed Tobin’s hand in both of hers. “Sorry for kidnapping you, but I needed to apologise for my behaviour yesterday. I was having a horrible day and I took it out on you when you hadn’t done anything wrong. Your passes were fine, I wasn’t playing smart and wanted to push my case when I should have played my game. I was a horrible teammate yesterday and I know that both of us plan on being in this squad for a long time. I would really like if we could be friends.”

Tobin was shocked and took her time to figure out what to say. “It is okay Ali, but next I screw up can you teach me what you want? I struggle at reading people and I didn’t know you were mad until you yelled at me. I would love to be friend’s, but I need you to be clear about everything.”

Ali smiled and hugged the younger girl. “Deal. And if you need help with anything ever, I’ll help. Even if you just need a hug, come find me. I’ve got you.” Ali knew there was more to that explanation than met the eye, but she knew in time the younger girl would learn to trust her. She got the feeling Tobin was a unique individual who had been hurt more than once. But she knew that whatever it was, wasn’t going to happen again not while she was around.

“So, tell me about UNC? Are you enjoying it?” Ali asked as they linked arms and walked back to the breakfast room.

Tobin perked up at the mention of her school. “Yeah I love it. The classes are great, and the team is pretty good. Our goalkeeper, Ashlyn, is my best friend and she just treats me normally. She was mad I got out of college early and that she would miss my birthday. You’d like her, she is sweet but acts all tough and she keeps everyone settled.”

Ali took the comment about being treated normal and tucked it away for later. “Well, I guess you will have to introduce us then. And when is your birthday?”

“Today, actually.” Tobin mumbled as the pair walked into the room and sat at a table with the New Kids, Carli and Hope.

“What? Why didn’t you tell us?” Ali exclaimed. That grabbed the attention of all the girls.

“What is it Ali?” Abby asked. Tobin just blushed and signalled to let the older girl tell all.

“Tobin is 17 today.” The whole room lit up in exclamations and cheers for the teenager. Their rendition of happy birthday was poor, but Tobin was beaming.

Hope saw the smile on the young kids face and knew she had found another friend. Ali was a good defender and would help keep Tobin level when they both played. She could even the kid out quickly. She had the right temperament.


	2. Beijing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team will learn to keep a close eye on Tobin. Eventually.  
And Ali is an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes.

Once Tobin opened up, she was happy as could be. No one could wipe the smile off her face, and she was always bouncing around talking to different people. Her sister came to visit camp to check on Tobin before they flew out and couldn’t believe the difference. Tobin had only been happy like that at home with her and when she was hanging out with Ashlyn. The entire squad and the US Soccer environment had brought the best out of Tobin, and Perry would be forever grateful. Her baby sister had been through hell, she deserved to be in a place she was loved for her quirks.

They didn’t care if she couldn’t always read the room, they just cared she was Tobin. She was a happy go lucky energizer bunny and once they got her talking, she didn’t shut up. She could talk to the older girls about what she was studying (mathematics, physics and neuroscience) as well as muck around with the younger players who just wanted to be silly. She was the baby of the team and there was an unwritten rule that no one made her upset.

Everyone was aware her brain worked differently, and they didn’t care. They loved Tobin for who she was, and Perry was grateful. She spoke to Pia before she left, thanking her for having such a loving team that Tobin finally felt free to be herself.

* * *

Tobin was content. She had friends in her fellow New Kids, Ali was like another older sister that knew just what to say and Hope was always there if she needed a shoulder to cry on. She was a big softy, but Tobin knew never to say that too her face. Well, she knew after she had said it to Ali and her eyes had gone wide in disbelief.

The team was having a meeting after dinner about tactics. Pia was going in depth about their Olympic opponents while the squad was watching the film on the couches. They were about 45 minutes into the hour-long meeting when the team heard this little snore coming from the back couch. Pia paused the game film and her lecture to investigate. A few of the team starting giggling when they turned and saw Tobin sound asleep on with her head on HAO’s lap and her lanky body spread across A-Rod and Cheney. The other New Kids were embarrassed but still thought it was hilarious.

Pia just sighed and rolled her eyes. This kid was going to drive her up the wall with her cuteness. “What happened today that knocked her out so quickly?” Pia asked the group, hoping someone would give her a reason not to be a bitch to the teenager.

“She was out for an extra three hours after training, practising and getting her touches in. We checked in on her every half an hour and finally got her inside just before dinner.” HAO was running her fingers through the younger woman’s hair, keeping her calm.

“Solo, Lloyd. Can you two please take Tobin to her room with HAO and see if you can get her there without waking her? I have a feeling it has been more than just a long session for her. Probably something to do with Perry leaving this morning.” Carli and Hope came across and the keeper lifted the lanky teenager off of her friends and up into her arms. Carli ran ahead to open the doors while HAO took the room key and went to get everything sorted for them.

While the 4 players were out of the room, Pia went through a quick recap of what they had watched before continuing. She knew Boxxy and Christie would help catch the 4 players up on what they missed tomorrow.

* * *

USA had just beaten Canada in the quarter finals to set up a showdown with Japan in the semis. The team was back in the hotel celebrating in the conference room because even though they knew that they had a long way to go, they were proud of the tough win they had just ground out.

The girls were laughing and dancing around, having fun when HAO realised that Ali and Tobin were nowhere to be found. A-Rod and Cheney were joking around together and having fun, neither noticing that their other partner in crime wasn’t there. The vet snuck out the room and went looking for the two missing squad members but didn’t have to look far. She found the pair in their little alcove, with the midfielder curled up in a ball on Ali’s lap. Tobin’s eyes were shut, but HAO could tell by the tenseness in her body that she wasn’t asleep.

HAO went to step a bit closer, but Ali held her hand up to stop her. “Hey, HAO. We’re fine here. Just got a bit overwhelmed by all the noise so we decided to get out of the party room and just chill out here for a bit.” The look on Ali’s face told the veteran all she needed to know. She knew that Tobin was safe with Ali and that she could leave them be. “We will go to bed soon, could you tell the others good night from the two of us, please?” HAO nodded and quietly said her goodbyes before going back to the party room.

Unfortunately, her presence was missed, and Carli and Hope cornered her when she returned, having noticed the missing younger players as well. “It’s all good Carli. Tobin is with Ali and they are just chilling quietly. It was a bit overwhelming with all the noise, so they went to get out for a bit. They are about to head to bed anyway, so if I were you Hope, I’d go now and see if you can get settled before they get there. That way it’s a bit more streamlined.”

Hope and Carli nodded and left, with Hope heading back to her room. She got changed and settled into bed when the door opened, and Tobin and Ali walked in. Ali was about to leave when Tobin got settled, but the pout from Tobin pulled her in. She checked with Hope if she was cool to stay, and the keeper just nodded with a smile, happy the midfielder had grown close to the defender.

The younger two players snuggled in and Tobin was asleep within minutes, while Ali and Hope stayed awake just a bit longer.

“Hope?” Ali asked, checking she was awake before flicking the light on and continuing. “Thanks for letting me stay. I was worried about her. She was freaking out earlier with all the noise and people but hiding it well. I think she is fine in small groups and on the pitch, but big groups and parties she would probably struggle if her head wasn’t in it.”

“How did you realise then?” Hope asked.

“My brother has some issues with addiction and so I got really good at reading body language and ticks and tells. For someone who can see them, Tobin was sending out an SOS earlier. Hers aren’t the same but she had the look of someone who was going to run or hide. If I had to guess, being younger in college hasn’t helped her a lot socially but been great academically. She is a genius but put her in a social setting like a party, she struggles.”

Ali saw the questioning look on the keeper’s face, so she continued. “She struggles reading people, which could be from a bad childhood but could also be more than that. She definitely has ADHD, she is never still and even when she is concentrating, she is always moving something. I may have only known this kid for a few months now, but she has wormed her way into my heart. I won’t let someone else be hurt if I can help it.”

Hope was stunned. “You are an amazing person Ali to care so deeply. Tobin is lucky to have you looking out for her.”

“She also has you and the New Kids. And don’t forget Carli and HAO. They are always on the periphery and keeping an eye on her. The vets, especially Christie and Shannon are always checking in with someone who is checking on her. I don’t know what you guys organised before camp, but it is noticeable she has support here. She told me about one of her friends back at UNC who helps her out and from the sounds of it she has someone there who hold her up when she needs it.”

Hope was quiet for a bit before responding. “I guess the kid will always have us around then. Good night Ali.”

“Night Hope.”

The pair drifted off to sleep, both thinking of the best ways to help the slumbering midfielder if she ever needed them too.

* * *

Tobin was so happy to be up on that podium that she was vibrating with energy. A-Rod and Cheney were up with her, but Ali was an alternate so didn’t get to up with them. Tobin was happy in amongst her friends and the frenzied atmosphere was manageable. She spent half the time when they were doing their lap of honour on the back of another teammate and the other half running and jumping around laughing with Amy and Lauren. All of the US squad were ready for her to jump on them at any time because no one wanted to dampen the mood. Besides, the teenager’s happiness was infectious.

The team all knew Tobin was one of the best human being you would ever meet, and they vowed they would defend her always. She was beat up a bit on the field but never complained. Tobin wanted to work hard and have fun, the ideal teammate. Her attitude and positivity had brought a new energy to the National Team. And so had Lauren and Amy.

The New Kids were babies, but they were fresh faces who pushed them forward.

Amy never wanted to lose and would always fight for every inch she could get.

Lauren was strong and calm. She never lost her head and lead by example even as a rookie.

Tobin brought freedom and excitement. A youthful side to a sometimes-jaded squad. She made them want to play and enjoy it.

Between the three of them, they changed the squads outlook and they came away with a gold medal.

* * *

They were partying at a pub the night after they won when the Brazilians arrived. Tobin wasn’t drinking but was with A-Rod and Cheney, dancing and joking in their own corner while some of the older players were sitting and relaxing. They were having fun and it was the first time Tobin had enjoyed being out in a noisy environment because the whole squad helped her deal with the anxiety.

Unfortunately, they realised to late that they weren’t the only team there and the jokey teen was seen as an easy target. The US players thought the New Kids were safe together.'

The Brazilians took offense to the actions of some the players during the game the night before. Their joking attitudes that night pushed the still upset and angry players over the edge. They were bitter that they had lost in extra time and looking for an outlet. The US players didn’t realise until it was almost over.

HAO and Ali had gone to the bathroom and came out to find a standoff between three Brazilian players and Christie, Shannon and Kate. The rest of the US squad was huddled around the New Kids and Carli looked to be holding Hope back from starting a fight. HAO went to Carli and Hope while Ali went to the New Kids and the rest of the US squad.

As soon as Tobin saw the alternate, she squirmed her way out of the huddle and launched herself into Ali’s arms before bursting into tears. The squad came and huddled around them again to give them privacy. “What the fuck is going on?”

“The bloody Brazilians are pissed we won and saw the New Kids mucking around. I guess they realised they were the babies and came after them while they were separated from us. Next thing we know, Tobin is swinging at the Brazilians, screaming in Portuguese, A-Rod is covered in alcohol and Cheney is lying on the floor. Took three of us to pull Tobin away and Carli is keeping Hope locked down, so she doesn’t join the Vets in tearing shreds of the Brazilians.” Mittsy was in shock. She had never seen the happy-go-lucky Tobin Heath ever lose her cool. Even in matches she was concentrating and intense, but never like this. She had shut down, but never blown up.

Ali had her hands full with the upset Tobin, and she could see her hands were busted and bleeding. She pulled Tobin’s head up so she could look her in the eye. “Tobi, I need you to calm yourself down so we can get out of here. We don’t want the media to get wind of this, so you need to settle a bit okay?” Tobin started babbling in Portuguese again and Ali had to cut her off. “English kiddo, we don’t speak Portuguese. And since when do you speak Portuguese? You know what, doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting you back to the village.”

Ali kept Tobin and the New Kids close to her while the older players surrounded them and shepherded them out of the pub. Carli and HAO pulled Hope along with the group so that the only three left behind were the Vets who were dealing with the Brazilians. It wasn’t far back to the village and the whole team congregated in Carli and HAO’s room. Mittsy went to get the first aid kit for Tobin’s hands, A-Rod and Cheney got changed out of their filthy clothes while the rest of the group got changed into comfy clothes as well. The group sat in silence until Tobin’s hands were fixed up and she had calmed down enough that she started speaking English again.

* * *

Christie, Shannon and Kate had come back to the village as well and were currently meeting with Pia. They knew this was serious and had to bring the coaching staff in on it. Pia demanded that all the squad meet in the conference room in 15 minutes to sort it all out, so Christie went to find the girls. She found them all in one room, quietly talking about the night and about what to do. Christie got them all down into the conference room in 10 minutes and they sat in chairs waiting for the coach.

Pia walked and saw the looks on their faces. Some were still sniffling back tears, while others (Hope) wanted to go back and sort out the Brazilians. “What happened?”

“Honestly coach, were not really sure. Some Brazilians started saying shit to the New Kids who were by themselves, and the next thing we know Tobin is swinging haymakers, A-Rod is covered in alcohol and Cheney is on the floor.” Mittsy explained.

“What were they saying Cheney?” Pia asked.

“We don’t know, it was in Portuguese. But it was bad enough that Tobin went back at them in Portuguese for about 2 minutes before they said something else and threw a drink at Amy. Tobin kind of lost it and started swinging. They shoved me to the floor and the next thing I know is three girls are pulling Tobin away, Kate is picking me up off the floor and A-Rod is being dragged away by Mittsy.” Cheney felt pretty shitty to throw Tobin under the bus like that, but the look on Pia’s face made it pretty obvious that lying would get them nowhere.

Pia looked at the New Kid who seemed to have been in the centre of all this mess. Tobin was wedged in between Hope and Carli and she was sitting on Ali’s lap. She had wrapped up knuckles and puffy red eyes. She knew she had to talk to the kid, but she had to be careful about it. “Alright Tobin, what happened? What did they say?”

Tobin had spoken to Ali, Hope and Carli about it quickly and knew she had to tell Pia exactly what was said, but she didn’t want to. It was disgusting. “We were just dancing and having fun, minding our own business when they came across. They were saying that we had cheated and that we had paid the referees off. And then they said stuff that I don’t want to repeat because it is disgusting and rude and it really pissed me off. I am sorry I got mad and started swinging but please don’t make me say it.” Tobin begged.

Pia handed her a note pad and a pen and let Tobin write it down. Pia read it and saw red. “Fucking hell. Okay, everyone get out and go to bed. We fly out early tomorrow and I am not letting this get out. No talking to the press, nothing. Heath, stay behind with Lloyd, Solo, HAO and Krieger.”

The group was confused but left. They didn’t want to give Pia a reason to punish them.

Pia knelt down in front of the midfielder. “Tobin, you know none of this is true. Everyone here is here on their own merit, we won fair and square and nothing inappropriate is going on with anyone. So why did you react the way you did?”

“I have heard that stuff my whole life. Freak, creep, weirdo, spaz. I finally made it to somewhere I was never called that, and it felt great. And then they ruined it. My birth family is dead, foster care abused the shit out of me, kids at school used to attack me randomly and even at college people are cruel. This is the one place I felt safe, and I snapped. I don’t know why they took the time to learn all that about me, but they did. At least no one else heard it.” Tobin curled into Ali and closed her eyes and covered her ears, not wanting to talk anymore or hear anything.

Pia showed what was said to the other four and they were furious. It was a very personal attack on Tobin’s life, her struggles and her most painful moments. They weren’t surprised she snapped. “Fucking hell.” Ali mumbled. “How did they find this out?”

Pia sighed. “Google. There are articles about her and her past. Reporters looked into when she was pulled up into the squad.” Pia shook her head, disgusted anyone would attack the teen like that. “Get to bed you five. We have a long flight home tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think? I hope to update this at least once a week.


	3. Found Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope stays with Tobin all night, the plane ride home and back to college life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Happy Wednesday morning! (It is 1am here so i am claiming it)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this. I own nothing but the mistakes. Let me know if there are any glaring ones!
> 
> Let me know what you think! Kudos and Comments are amazing to get! They make my day.

Tobin didn’t sleep. She sat in the corner of her bed huddled under blankets with a flashlight and read her textbooks. If she slept, she would relive it and that wasn’t going to be good for everyone. She hadn’t had a nightmare about the car accident or her time in foster care around the team and she wasn’t going to start now.

Hope left the room around 1am and Tobin was sad her friend had left her. Before she could go to far down the rabbit hole off despair, the door opened, and Hope came back with a cup of coffee and a portable DVD player.

“Put the books away Tobin. We can watch a movie, but you reading all night isn’t good. You won’t retain anything, and it will frustrate you.”

Tobin frowned. “I have an eidetic memory. I remember everything.” It wasn’t always a good thing.

“And I have Bend it Like Beckham, She’s the Man and Legally Blonde. Get out of your head for the night and enjoy some movies if you won’t sleep. I know nightmares are hard to deal with. You don’t have to, but don’t study into the night. Let your brain rest.” Hope was really hoping the young midfielder would listen to her, but Tobin was stubborn when she wanted to be.

“Can I stay in my nest?” Tobin was quiet but Hope heard her clearly.

“Of course. But I am going to have to join you if we are watching the movies together. Is that okay?” Tobin nodded and Hope settled herself on the bed next to the midfielder. She cued up the first movie and Tobin settled back to watch.

Hope didn’t think it would take the midfielder long to fall asleep and she wasn’t wrong. 20 minutes in she crashed out on her chest and Hope just held her close and kept watching the movie. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to sleep, but she wanted to make sure the teenager was settled and calm all night. Tobin would never be alone and she was going to prove it to her.

She could sleep on the plane.

* * *

Everyone was walking on eggshells around Tobin who had headphones on and had shut the world out. She was wearing a jacket with extra-long sleeves so no one could see her hands. She hadn’t spoken to Hope since she woke up, embarrassed and upset she had fallen asleep. The goalkeeper was inhaling coffee like it was air but looked proud of herself. She was still grumpy and most kept their distance.

The group got out of the village quick and before they knew it were on a flight home. Tobin had curled up in her seat and was doing some extra reading for college that she was meant to finish last night. The term was due to start in three days.

Tobin noticed when someone sat next to her and two people sat across but didn’t say anything to them. She was in the zone and didn’t want to get distracted.

A-Rod and Cheney were patiently waiting for Tobin to acknowledge them while Ali just opened a magazine and started flicking through it. She knew the midfielder would come to them when she was ready.

2 hours later Tobin closed her books and removed her headphones, turning to the three women near her. She saw looks of sympathy on the New Kids faces and a look of understanding on Ali’s. She knew she had to get this conversation out of the way before any of them could go back to normal.

“Hi.”

“Hey Tobi. What were you working on there?” A-Rod asked, figuring it was easier to start with a topic that didn’t include Brazilian footballers being assholes.

“Spanish readings for fun and a bit of Calculus.” She made a face which they all giggled at.

“Cool. Can you speak Spanish too? Or just Portuguese?” Cheney asked, curious.

Tobin shrugged. “I speak English, Portuguese, Spanish, Russian a bit of Italian and German. Languages are easy, it is just patterns and stuff.”

“That’s really cool Tobi. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I’m already a freak, don’t want to be anymore of one. No one wants to be friends with the weird girl who can’t concentrate and barely remembers what language to speak. They get muddled in my head sometimes.” Tobin curled in on herself and looked out the window.

Ali put her arm around the younger girl’s shoulder. “You are not a freak Tobin Heath. You are an amazing person. You are kind, considerate, loving, funny, smart and talented. Never ever think you are a freak.” Tobin nodded and wiped her eyes. “Now about what happened last night. I know they said some bad shit, but you have to be the bigger person. Just walk away. They are bitter and arrogant. They are the freaks, not you.”

Tobin didn’t look like she believed Ali, so the defender pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. “They were wrong, and they were mean. They said horrible things and hit you where it hurts the most. I promise you, it isn’t true. Your family loves you and they are watching you and Perry from up above with smiles on their faces. Your family could not be prouder of you. You have come through so much and that is something to be admired and celebrated. They attacked you for being an orphan and they said you have no family. That isn’t true. You have Perry. You have me. You have Amy, Lauren, Hope, Carli, HAO. You have everyone on this plane. You have Ash and your friends at UNC. You still have a family and if anyone ever says anything different, I will kick their ass. You aren’t alone.”

Tobin nodded into the defender’s shoulder and cried silently. The two New Kids joined in the hug, holding her close. They stayed like that for a bit before they returned to their seats, chatting about what they were doing once they got home.

Tobin, A-Rod and Cheney had to return to college, but Ali was going back to Germany in November after the US camp. They spoke about when they were going to catch up and where. Eventually the New Kids went back to their seats while Ali stayed next to Tobin.

“So, Tobi?”

“Yeah?”

“I have a few days free on this break in October and I was thinking about going to visit UNC. You reckon you could let me crash with you for a bit and be my tour guide?” Ali asked, smiling.

Tobin’s face lit up and she started rambling. “Really? Yes, that would be so cool. Yea you can stay with me in my dorm and I can show you around! I can introduce you to Ash! She wants to meet you so bad cause you were so kind to me and she said it made you even prettier. She googled you! And apparently, we have a transfer from Stanford that is super cool but kind of quiet, a striker so we will get to meet her too. Ashlyn says she is really nice and pretty and will be a good friend, but I don’t know her name cause Ash didn’t want me to look her up. Ash wants to be there when I meet her for some reason, but I don’t know why. Ash says she wants to be a doctor and she is super smart. Oh, and I can show you the best place for pizza. Oh, I have to tell Hope you are coming, she won’t believe it! She said she would come but now you are coming too! This is so cool you will get to meet my friends!”

Happy Tobin bolted out of her seat, tripped in the aisle twice, jumped up and ran down the plane to plop herself in Hopes lap and tell her the good news. All the squad saw was the previously upset kid happy again and the reason for it. Carli clapped Ali on the shoulder when she went past, giving her a small smile.

“Well done Krieger.”

They all watched as the normally grumpy keeper spoke with the animated midfielder about their plans, happy that all the drama was sorted.

* * *

Perry was trying not to cry happy tears at the joy on Tobin’s face.

She had just picked her baby sister up from the airport. The young Olympian had immediately launched into a replay of the tournament. For 90 minutes she raved about her time and the people she met and played with. She left out the bar fight, but Perry had spoken to Pia about it. She was upset her sister had been attacked like that, but she was also disappointed in her reaction. She would speak to her about it when they were alone, but right now she was enjoying listening to her talk.

Ash was sitting in the front seat and smiling softly at her young friend. She had never heard her rave about something like this and she had never seen her this happy.

They were only five minutes from campus by the time Tobin stopped talking for more than ten seconds. Ash took that time to talk to Tobin about the new transfer student. “She is really looking forward to meeting you Tobi. You have a lot in common.”

Tobin perked up at that. “Really? You haven’t told me anything about her.”

Ash grinned. “I know. I want to see your face when you meet her, and I didn’t want you worrying about anything else while you were overseas.” Ash turned and saw Tobin was slightly hunched over and bouncing her leg. “Tobin, I know you hate not knowing things and I did enjoy teasing you a bit. But I promise, she will love you. You will be meeting her sooner than you think. Stop panicking kid.”

“I want to make sure that I don’t make a fool out of myself. All the other girls have met her, and I can only imagine what they have said about me. I want to make a good first impression.” Tobin looked small in the backseat.

Ash looked the small Olympian dead in the eye. “Tobi, the girls have all said amazing things about you. This isn’t like high school, or even freshman year. The team has your back and they raved about you. If they didn’t, I’d deck them.”

Tobin slumped in her seat and accepted the goalkeepers word. Ash had never lied to her before. “You sound like Ali. She will kick peoples arses if they mess with me.”

Ash could see that Tobin had accepted it and turned back to face the front. “I need to meet this girl.” Ash mumbled and Perry snorted in laughter. Tobin has raved about Ali for most of the trip.

“Do you want to know a few things about her? Just so you have an idea?” Tobin nodded eagerly. “She is a lot like you Tobin. Really smart, really kind, really funny. She is a bit quiet but when she talks she has everyone’s attention. She is a really cool chick Tobi.”

“When do I get to meet this girl Ash? I don’t want to look stupid at training like last year when I didn't know who the newbies were and they refused to tell me what was happening.” Tobin was quiet but Perry and Ash both heard her. Ash sighed before she responded.

“You will meet her when we get back to campus.”

Tobin frowned. “Why? It is like 11pm. Everyone should be in bed.”

Ash nodded. “And she will be as well.”

“So why will she be meeting me tonight?”

Ash giggled and Perry rolled her eyes at the goalkeeper. “Tobi, have you read your emails from UNC while you were away?”

Tobin nodded. “All my tutors wanted to talk to me and send me extra work. I checked it every day.”

Perry sighed while Ash bit back a laugh. “What about the emails from housing, or from student services, or your RA?”

Tobin frowned. “I get emails from them?”

Ash burst out laughing while Perry just shook her head, bemused and in disbelief. She was pulling into campus and had parked outside Tobin’s dorm. It was one that held most of the women’s soccer team and had been Tobin’s home for over two years. “Oh honey. You need to read your emails from them too.”

“I didn’t know I got them! And what is so funny?” Tobin was getting upset. Ash got out of the car and grabbed her bags while Perry and Tobin stood next to the car.

Perry hugged her sister tight. “It may be easier to just show you.” Perry wrapped her arm around Tobin’s shoulder and led her into the dorm building. Ash was following them like an eager bellboy and grinning like a fool.

“What is happening Perry?” Tobin asked questions continually as they made their way up to her room. Perry just smiled and kept walking and Ash tried her best to keep her guffaws to a minimum.

Tobin was confused and it was even worse when she found the door to her room was open. Perry knocked twice before she pushed it open and Tobin’s jaw dropped.

She was looking at the prettiest girl she had ever seen. She had wild curls, big glasses, an over size t-shirt and tracksuit pants on. She was sitting on the bed that Tobin had never used. She’d never had a roommate and it had been bare for two years.

The gorgeous girl looked up from her book as the door opened and beamed when she saw the young midfielder. Tobin’s heart stuttered at the smile and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

“Wh-wh-wh…” Tobin stuttered and blushed. She hadn’t stuttered in over a year and was annoyed it had happened now.

Perry walked her little sister into the room and Ash followed behind, putting her bags down in the corner. When Tobin realised that she was still staring, she dropped her eyes to the floor and started bouncing her knee. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but her body was reacting in funny ways and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

Perry just smiled and kissed her on the temple. “You need to check your emails kid.” She whispered before she looked across at the other girl in the room.

“I’m Perry Heath, we spoke on the phone. This is Tobin as I am sure you know. And obviously you know Ash.”

The girl spoke and her voice was a lot closer to Tobin than she expected, which caused her to snap her head up and look at her again. She was standing in front of her. Tobin’s mouth went dry. “Hi! It is great to finally meet you and thank you so much for allowing me to be allocated with your sister. I really think we will get on great. I am really hopeful this will be a great year.”

Perry smiled. “I think so too. Tobin has wanted a roommate for a while and raved about Hope during the Olympic camps. I really do believe this will be great for both of you.”

Tobin was lost, not only in the conversation but also in the girls eyes. They were so green. “Wh-wh, hap Ash?” Tobin knew they weren’t words, but she hoped her sister or Ash could translate for her.

Ash came across and hugged the other girl before she looked at Tobin. “While you were away, we had a striker transfer from Stanford, remember?”

Tobin nodded. She couldn't forget.

“Cool. Well, she needed a roommate to live with and we wanted to find someone who she would fit well with. You know, make them feel comfortable. So we had to find another really smart, really studious, kinda quirky, quiet and not the most sociable girl to pair her with.” Ash quickly turned to the other girl and spoke. “No offense.”

She waved it off. “None taken. It’s totally true. I’m quirky."

Tobin was frowning, still confused. “O-okay?” Perry groaned and threw her head back in frustration as Ash smiled softly.

“Tobi, this is your new roommate. You were emailed about it a month ago and we thought you knew. We just weren’t telling you it was the new soccer player until you met.” Ash was talking quietly and trying not to overload the teenager.

Tobin’s eyes went wide. “I h-h-have a r-r-roommate? A r-real one?” She was shocked but they could all tell it was a happy type of shock.

The green-eyed girl giggled, and it was now Tobin’s favourite sound, but she didn’t know why. “I hope that is okay. If not, I am sure –“

“NO!” Tobin burst out before blushing and dropping her eyes. “I-I-I m-mean, I r-r-really w-wanted a r-roommate last y-year. This is aw-aw-awesome.”

The three older women grinned. Tobin pulled her eyes up and looked at the green-eyed girl again. She was grinning and Tobin knew in that moment all she wanted was for her to smile like that as often as possible.

Tobin put her hand out for the other girl to shake, seemingly forgetting she had busted them in China less than 48 hours previously. “I’m T-Tobin Heath. Y-you can c-c-call me T-Tobi if you w-w-want.”

The green-eyed girl took her hand with a grin. “Christen Press. I am really looking forward to be your roommate and friend.”

The handshake went longer than expected and Ash and Perry exchanged amused and happy looks. Tobin was shaken but adjusting well and Ash was so happy she was there to see them meet. It was cute and the pair had so much in common it was crazy. Perry just wanted her sister to be safe and happy. It already looked like that would happen.

Tobin wasn’t sure why she suddenly thought that green was her favourite colour and she didn’t know why she was so flustered. But she knew one thing.

Christen Press was going to be a big part of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Who guessed that was happening? What do you think? Let me know!
> 
> Also- Second update of the new 'Rough' schedule. (Posted private and secretive Monday) I am hoping to stick to it as well as I can but it is a busy time of year. I have put it below so everyone is on the same page.
> 
> P.S.  
Rough Update Schedule if you are reading the other stories.
> 
> Not Just Any Soldier - Twice a week. 1 weekday, 1 weekend. (May change when we get further along - will let you know.)
> 
> Private and Secretive - Once a week. Early Weekday
> 
> Protected Species - Once a week. Mid-Weekday
> 
> Match made in College - Once a week. Late Weekday  
(Hoping to finish soon. Not a long-long story)
> 
> ellaaa25 xoxo


	4. Quirk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is avoiding being in her room and Christen wants to find out why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes.

Tobin’s first week back at college was tough. It was a massive change from being in camp with the National Team and she couldn’t wait until her routine was set again. Class and football. That she could deal with. Everything else was a surplus and a distraction until she got her head on straight with class and football.

She was carrying a massive class load and for the last two years, anytime that she wasn’t training or in class she was studying in her room. It was the one place she could always count on to be organised and under her control.

At least it used to be.

With Christen as her roommate Tobin didn’t know what she would come back to at any particular time. They hadn't had time to talk about it. Tobin didn’t want to distract the older girl and she didn’t want to be a nuisance. Her fidgeting was annoying to most people and she didn’t want to start her Junior year of college off on a bad foot with Christen.

On the first day, Tobin had tried to study in the library for the first time. She got kicked out within half an hour by a grump of a librarian for making too much noise and distracting other students.

The second day she went to training pitch with her books after class. Within 20 minutes she had been pulled into a pickup game and her books were abandoned for the day.

On the third day, Tobin tried to study in a café and only lasted five minutes before the noise got too her. It sent her burrowing under the covers with a headache and the shakes. It was too much for her that day. 

(Christen found her sound asleep when she got home after class and it worried her. She had barely seen the girl and to find her frowing in her sleep was concerning.)

It was frustrating Tobin but she wanted this roommate thing to work out so badly she was hoping she would find her new study location soon. She was hoping her brain would let her change her routine so Christen was comfortable. 

(Tobin had no idea that she never had to look for a new study location in the first place. All she had to do was talk to the kind transfer.)

* * *

Christen noticed that her new roommate was nervous and jumpy. Tobin seemed to be walking on eggshells around her. Ash had spoken briefly to her about Tobin and her habits. Christen had hoped to talk to the girl about it so that they could have a good relationship, but she seemed to be avoiding her. Yes, it was the first week of classes and they both had a big class load, but Christen expected to see her for more than a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes before they went to bed. Other than the brief interactions in the morning and evening, the soccer training sessions and Tobin sleeping off a headache in the middle of the day, the two new roommates rarely interacted.

Christen was going to change that. She had a few things she had to clear up with Tobin and she wanted the teenager to feel comfortable in their own room. It was their space and they could coexist or they could be friends.

Christen desperately wanted to be friends with the teenager. She had an energy around her that made Christen smile.

* * *

It was Saturday morning and neither girl had to get up early for class or for football. They had a weekend off and unbeknownst to Tobin, Christen had plans for their day.

Christen was up early and had snuck own to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast for the pair. Toast, eggs and bacon for the pair, as well as two cups of orange juice. One thing Christen did know was that the teenager was not allowed anywhere near caffeine. She was unsurprised and she didn’t drink it often either. 

Once back in their room, Christen saw that Tobin was still asleep. She knew from Ash that it wasn’t smart to spook Tobin so she happily waited her out. One thing she did know is Tobin woke at the same time everyday, regardless of whether she had an early class or not. Christen only knew that because she got up earlier than Tobin to meditate. 

Tobin woke a few minutes later to her alarm and was confused when she saw Christen waiting for her. “What’s happening?” Her voice was raspy from sleep and she looked adorable.

Christen chuckled. “I got us breakfast because we need to talk and doing it on an empty stomach isn’t desirable.”

Tobin frowned at the wording, but she got up and joined her roommate. She saw that the striker had gotten all her favourites and smiled. “Thanks Chris.”

The pair ate in silence and Tobin spent the entire time trying to figure out what she had done wrong. She thought that she had done everything she could to make Christen comfortable but maybe their was something that was off.

Christen could see Tobin was getting stuck in her head and gently placed her hand on Tobin’s. “It’s nothing bad Tobin. I promise.”

It didn’t calm Tobin, but she put her cutlery down and turned her attention to the older girl. “Are you sure? Saying 'we need to talk' doesn't give me a good feeling.”

“Yea. I’m just worried about you. You have barely been here, and I was worried I’d done something to make you feel uncomfortable.” Christen explained.

Tobin’s eyes went wide, and she shook her head vigorously. “No. Not at all. I was trying to make you comfortable.”

“By never being here?” Christen questioned. “This is your room too Tobin. You have to be comfortable and settled.”

Tobin sighed. “I didn’t want to do anything to make you want to leave. I know I can be annoying as a roommate and it makes people get really mad. Especially on camps and stuff. Some girls would lock me out and I’d have to sleep outside because they were so annoyed. Hope was good as a roommate, but she got frustrated eventually. She would take me out of the room to get some air and get my energy out. I figured it could work here too.”

Christen frowned and files some of that information away for later. “It just made me worry Tobi.” Her voice was soft, and Tobin could feel the hurt and concern exuding from the older girl.

“I’m sorry.” Tobin was quiet.

“It’s okay. But we are going to be living together for a year. And I want to know you Tobi. I have heard amazing things and I want nothing more than to see it for myself.”

Tobin nodded and Christen smiled before she soldiered on. “Okay. I want to lay a few things out on the table. You heard what Ash said about me when we met?”

_“We had to find another really smart, really studious, kinda quirky, quiet and not the most sociable girl to pair her with.” _Tobin recited verbatim before blushing. “I remember.”

Christen chuckled at the blush on her cheeks and put her hand on Tobin’s. “Exactly. We are both smart and studious. And I heard from Ash that you kind of bunker down in here to study.”

Tobin shrugged. “Normally. But I was looking for other places to study so you’d have plenty of space and I wouldn’t annoy you.”

“And how did that go?” Christen asked with a cocked eyebrow.

“Not well.” Tobin admitted.

“Okay. You need to stop trying to make it easier for me. If something annoys me, I’ll deal with it. You are you Tobin. I am never going to ask you to change. And I trust that you won’t ask me to change. We can figure out ways to help each other out and deal with it, but I won’t ever try and get you to be someone you’re not just for convenience’s sake.” Christen took a breath. “You aren’t the only one who has had to deal with shitty roommates who don’t know how to deal with someone whose brain works a bit differently to everyone elses.”

Tobin cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

Christen shrugged. “Ash called it being quirky. It is a nice word for it. I like eccentric sometimes but quirky is pretty good.”

“Perry calls me quirky. I hated being called special.” Tobin grimaced and Christen laughed a bit. Tobin continued. “I used to get a lot of shit here cause I am so young, even from the soccer team, so I stayed in my room and studied. It was safer. But I didn’t want you to think I was some annoying kid who never left the room, so I tried to push it back and change. It didn’t work very well. My brain is wired for routines.”

“Mine too.” Christen explained. “I’m going to tell you something about myself. It isn’t a secret, it isn't everything about me that's different but it is something that will affect us being roommates. Most people who know brush over it and I have it pretty well managed, so most people just think it’s a little quirk and barely notice. Being roommates may bring some of it to the forefront more often and I want to explain it a bit.”

Tobin nodded for Christen to continue and she obliged. “I was diagnosed with anxiety in high school. I found the best way for me to manage it is to have things organised and set to a tee. I like order, I like routines, I like things to be in their set spots. Things have to be just right otherwise I spin out. I am a perfectionist and I have to do things a certain way to keep myself centred. I tend to keep to myself and I am not the most sociable person, but I can manage it.”

Tobin was astounded. She had no idea that Christen struggled with that. Before she could speak, Christen continued.

“I may not have been through everything you have, but I do understand a bit. This is our room Tobin, and this is the place we can let our quirks out and not be ashamed of them.”

Tobin nodded. “Thank you for telling me that. Thank you for trusting me.”

Christen could tell Tobin was grappling internally and she squeezed her hand tight. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. If you just want to say you’re quirky and not elaborate, that’s fine. I told you some of mine because I refuse to let it be something I am ashamed of, and it is something that will come up while we are roommates. It is who I am and while I am not going to let it control or define me, it is part of me. Everyone has their own battles and struggles. You face them your own way Tobin, and I will support you no matter what.”

Tobin sighed. “I have got a lot of crap for it. For my brain being wired different and my childhood. One day, I will tell you it all. But it’s a lot and I am not used to sharing. Ash doesn’t even know it all, neither does Ali. I don’t think. They may have figure it out, but I didn’t tell them.” Tobin shook her head. She was getting off track. “I really want this roommate thing to work. Can we just figure out the best way for us to live together and go from there?”

Christen nodded and smiled. “Of course.”

Tobin relaxed and the pair spent the rest of the day being roommates. They were unique and quirky roommates, but it worked for them. They set a schedule out for their classes, football and studying. Christen and Tobin both preferred to study in their room and they knew it would take some trial and error before they found a style that they were both comfortable with.

Tobin took note of what Christen really got anxious about to ensure that she did everything possible to help her. Christen would keep an eye on the younger girl to see what made a positive impact and what made a negative one, especially considering she didn’t know exactly what Tobin’s ‘quirks’ were.

When Ash went to explain them when they first met, she had stopped her with a small smile. _“If and when Tobin trusts me enough to tell me, I will find out. But I promise, if something happens that is worrying me or it looks like Tobin is really struggling, I will come to you.”_

Both Christen and Tobin knew it would be a lot of trial and error before they found their way and had their routine set. But things were already looking up. Most of the complaints and comments Tobin had gotten from previous roommates, both good and bad, was that she was never still and always paced. However during their whole conversation, Tobin paced as they spoke and Christen found the sound soothing, not annoying. It was a small sign that this would work.

_(Christen and Tobin thought it would take a lot longer than it did.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late. Shit be crazy at this time of year.
> 
> I hope I did this chapter and this conversation justice. It will be revisted in future.   
Let me know what you think!  
ellaaa25 oxo


	5. Realisations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen makes a discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything except the mistakes.

After Christen and Tobin were settled as roommates, they started becoming proper friends. For Tobin, it was different to how her friendships with Ali and Ash were. It was softer, deeper, more emotional.

Ash and Ali were very protective and were always ensuring she had everything she needed. They took care of her even though they both knew Tobin could (usually) take care of herself.

Christen was different.

The med student had walked a mile in Tobin’s shoes. She knew what it was like for your brain to send you down a road not many travelled. But she also knew how to manage it and had seen how being smothered and constantly asked ‘are you okay?’ can just make everything worse. Her anxiety made her slightly compulsive and she needed things to be done a certain way. Her parents worked out early on that asking, ‘what do you need?’ or ‘how can we help you?’ was much more effective.

Christen used that tactic with Tobin. Tobin was confused to start with, not used to new people actually caring about what she needed. When she saw Christen was serious about what she was asking, she opened up. If Christen thought that the one thing Tobin needed at 2am when she couldn’t sleep was to restring the curtains, so they hung straight, she didn’t mention it. She just helped the teen do what she needed to and went to bed.

* * *

The first time the team saw how well this worked was at a training session. It was a Tuesday afternoon and Tuesday’s were a long day for Tobin. In class from 7.30 to 4.30 without a break, the teen always came to training harried and distracted. Sometimes she was pulled out of studying to ensure she made it on time, other times she was walking into poles as she tried to finish off the reading on the walk across campus. However, Tobin always tried to put it away as she got into the changerooms and focus on football. The girls gave the teen space and always ensured the walk to her locker was unobstructed.

Christen didn’t know how the team operated when it came to Tobin, but she did know what worked for them. She knew that the look on Tobin’s face meant she had something really important to finish and it would eat at her if she didn’t. However, there was also a look of determination to not give into the need to finish what she had started, no matter how much it pained her.

Christen went across and crouched in front of Tobin. She was careful not to touch her and not to spook her. She waited until Tobin made eye contact with her.

Christen smiled when Tobin finally looked up from her shaking hands. “Hey Tobi. Long day?”

Tobin nodded slowly. “The longest.” She held her hand out for Christens and the striker handed it over. She was used to Tobin holding her hand and fiddling with her fingers. It calmed her.

She hadn’t noticed she didn’t do it with anyone else.

“Have you eaten today?” Christen asked.

Tobin frowned. “I don’t think so. Not since breakfast at least. I’ve just been so busy, and I was so close to finishing it before my alarm went to come here.” She sounded exhausted.

Christen smiled softly. “What do you need? Forget training and everyone else. What do you need right now to help you to feel better?” Christen was aware the whole team had quietened down and were listening to their interaction, but Tobin only had eyes for her. She was gripping the strikers hand tightly, grounding herself in the conversation.

Tobin exhaled loudly. “Five minutes to finish the calculus equations and some food.”

“Get your books out and finish the work. I’ll find you something to eat.” Christen looked over her shoulder and gave the team a look which got them scrambling through their bags for some food.

Tobin sputtered. “But training starts –“

“At 5pm. Which is in fifteen minutes. So you have enough time to finish your work, which will help you settle for training, eat some food so you have some energy and you have time to spare to get changed. Don’t worry Tobin. Do what you need to. I will talk to Anson.”

Christen squeezed her hand before she stood. She pushed Tobin’s hair behind her ear with a soft smile before she turned and walked out of the changeroom. Ashlyn quickly fell into step next to her and they made their way onto the field. They found their coach on the sideline talking to the assistant. Anson smiled when he saw the pair coming across. “Christen. Ashlyn. You are out early.”

Christen smiled tightly. “I have something to ask you.” Anson nodded and Christen continued. “This Tuesday training session starts earlier than the other evening sessions. Why?”

Ash sputtered and Anson grinned. “You are the first player that has been brave enough o ask me that.’ Christen shrugged but didn’t comment. “It is for team bonding essentially. I noticed that with the earlier training sessions the team often goes out for dinners and such. You have more time afterwards to do what you need to.”

Christen nodded and took the information in. “What if we have things’ we must do for class beforehand?”

Anson shrugged. “The academic advisors for the team should have ensured all players have at least an hour between class and practice sessions. That is to give you time to do what you must before training.”

Ashlyn’s eyes went wide in realisation. “Shit!”

Anson looked at the keeper in shock. “Harris?”

“Tobin isn’t at UNC on an athletic scholarship. Neither is Christen. They don’t use the academic advisors we do.” Ashlyn explained.

Christen elaborated. “On Tuesdays, Tobin has to run across campus after being in class for 9 hours straight without a break for a chance to make training on time. Right now, she is trying to finish her calculus work and eat something for the first time since breakfast.”

Anson was gobsmacked. “Has this happened before?”

Ashlyn shrugged. “Not like this semester. Tobin should be finishing one her degrees this year, so she has been swamped.”

Anson frowned. “I’ll figure something out.”

The pair thanked him and then went back into the changerooms. They saw the team talking while they were changing, and Tobin was sitting back in her seat munching on a sandwich. When she saw the pair, she grinned. “Yael gave me food.”

Ash and Christen chuckled. “You do have to get changed soon Tobin. We only have five minutes.” Christen grinned at Tobin and the teen shrugged before she started moving around.

Christen moved to grab her boots but Ash stopped Christen before she could walk to far. “How did you know what Tobin needed?”

Christen cocked her eyebrow. “I didn’t. I just asked her what she needed.”

Ash nodded. “But she actually let you help her. She never does that. Not until she gets overwhelmed. That wasn't overwhelmed for Tobin.”

Christen shrugged. “She helps me too. We have a setup. We’re good friends now, not just roommates.”

Ash rolled her eyes. “That’s bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” Chris was incredulous. How dare she say they weren't friends?! 

“You’re not just friends. She likes you. Tobin may not realise it yet, but the fact she told you what she needed wasn’t because you were friends. It is because she feels more for you than anyone else.”

Christen was astounded. Before she could formulate a reply, Ash continued. “Tobin trusts you enough to tell you when she is struggling or if she needs something. You have known her for maybe a month. It took me over a year for her to trust me enough to ask for a pencil.”

Ash paused and looked at Christen dead on. “Don’t hurt her. Because she may not know that she is falling for you, but she is. When she finally figures it out, she may tell you or she may not. But it will throw her out of whack until she realises what she wants to do. So, Christen, please for the love of god, think ahead. If you like Tobin like that, brilliant. If not, that’s okay too. But you need to realise what you feel before Tobin does. Because you are older, wiser and have more life experience. I see the way you interact, and you are adorable together. You aren’t just friends. You don’t look at each other like you look at friends.”

Ash walked away and Christen was gobsmacked. The keeper had just flipped her world on her head.

* * *

The next day they got an email from Anson saying that Tuesdays training session would start at 5.15pm for the rest of the season.

The Tuesday after found Tobin running in at 5pm with a half-finished sandwich and a smile on her face. She had gotten everything she needed done. Her full concentration was on the session and the whole team could see what a difference 15 minutes made.

When Christen saw Tobin grinning and bouncing into training on Tuesday, her mind realised some things her heart already knew.

Christen realised that Tobin smiling before training was the best part of her Tuesday.

Christen realised her day was brighter when Tobin was happy.

Christen realised she liked her friend.

Her teenage friend.

Who trusted her as a friend and confidant.

Who fiddled with her fingers when she was nervous and tired.

Whose favourite thing to do was play football.

Who was a genius who had been through so much.

Who had so much going on that sometimes crawling under the covers and hiding from the world with Christen holding her was the only thing she could do to deal with it.

Shit.

She liked Tobin.

It wasn’t a bad thing. It was just unexpected. But Christens anxiety didn’t rear its ugly head. She was calm about it. Tobin calmed her.

Christen smiled at the realisations and went through her routine before she went over to Tobin. She liked her as more than a friend, but right now only being her friend was enough. “Tobin, you ready?”

Tobin looked up and smiled widely. “So ready.” 

_"If only you were."_ Christen thought. She pushed the thought away and grinned as Tobin jumped up and linked arms with her. They walked out together and Christen was content.

She liked Tobin.

And she would wait for Tobin.

* * *

It was early October and Tobin came back to her room late on Wednesday night. She was grinning and Christen could see that Tobin was physically shaking with excitement.

“ALI IS COMING NEXT WEEK!” Tobin squealed before she tackled Christen onto the bed. The striker was not expecting it and grunted when a bony elbow caught her ribs.

“Shit! Sorry!” Tobin fell back off the striker and landed on her butt on the floor. Christen wheezed and waved her off. Tobin scrambled to grab some ice from the freezer and quickly brought it over to Christen.

The striker sat up and Tobin placed the ice on her side. “I am so sorry.” She was pouting and Christen smiled at her.

“It’s fine Tobin. It was an accident. Now, what had you so excited?”

The pout disappeared and that magical smile reappeared. “Ali is coming next week! She said she would and now she is!”

Christen had heard all about Ali. She was nervous to hear she was coming to UNC. Christen was well aware that she had feelings for her young roommate. Ali would sniff it out it a second. “I am looking forward to meeting her.”

Tobin grinned sheepishly. “That’s good. Because I may have lent her my bed.”

“TOBIN!” Christen exclaimed.

“I said she could stay with me before I knew you were my roommate. I’m sorry but she has nowhere else to stay.”

Christen rolled her eyes. It was such a Tobin thing to do. “So are you sharing a bed with me or Ali?”

Tobin shrugged. “I was hoping with you. Ali kicks in her sleep. You cuddle.”

Christen chuckled. “That sounds fine to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ash is astute, Ali is coming up next and Christen is waiting for a teen to be ready.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	6. Exhaustion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is unable to sleep because she is so excited Ali is coming that night. decisions and actions turn the day on its head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a big one and it went a direction I definetly was not expecting. I hope you like it, it is a bit different -
> 
> i only own the mistakes, of which I am sure there are plenty
> 
> Also, the last chapter got something like 80 Kudos, which is crazy. Thank you all and keep em coming! (if you want, comments too xoxo)

Christen groaned when she felt a hand shake her shoulder and she slowly woke. “Tobin, it is 4am.” She rolled over and found the 17-year-old bouncing on her toes. “What is it?”

Tobin didn’t say anything but took Christen talking to her and rolling over as a sign to climb into her bed. She pulled back the covers and Christen smiled slightly as she moved back to give her room. Tobin lay down flat on her back and sighed. “I can’t sleep.”

Christen chuckled and rubbed her eyes. She wouldn’t be getting back to sleep anytime soon, so she sat up and turned on the bed side light. “I figured. You have barely slept all week. What’s going through your head?”

“Ali is coming today. She said she’d be here after training but that is so far away! I have a full day of classes and training before she gets here.” Tobin exclaimed, much to Christens amusement. “I hate Tuesdays.”

Christen chuckled. The teenager was unable to sleep because she was so excited to see Ali. This was the same teenager who slept through meetings with National Team coaches, on the couch at team parties with the music blaring and never struggled with sleeping before a big game.

But one of her best friends coming to visit kept her up.

Go figure.

Christen started stroking her fingers through Tobin’s hair. “Have you slept at all?”

Tobin shook her head. “Not tonight. I did some of my work for tomorrow so I would have less to do after training so we could just hang out. I finished about 2.30.” She sighed. “Then I was trying to clean my side of the room so Ali has space, but I have so much stuff and I can’t move it anywhere!”

Christen looked across at Tobin’s side and saw she had indeed moved some stuff around, but most of it seemed to be in the same vicinity it started in. She smiled down at Tobin. “You can move it to my side if you want, but I don’t think Ali will care Tobi. She wants to see you and where you live. Not where you think she would want to see you live.”

Tobin pouted. “I just want it to be perfect. I want this week to be awesome.”

“And it will be. But you will have a bad day if you don’t get some sleep, then training will be harder, and you will be even more exhausted than usual when Ali gets here.”

Tobin kicked her legs in frustration before she turned over and buried her face in Christens stomach. Christen just rolled her eyes and kept stroking her fingers through Tobin’s hair. She was happy to wait her out. Besides, she thought it was adorable.

About ten minutes later Tobin suddenly leapt up and out of the bed. Christen frowned as she watched her hunt around the room. “What are you doing Tobin?”

“I need to get some fresh air.” The teen threw a hoodie on and some slides before Christen could respond.

“Honey, it is 4.30 in the morning.”

Tobin shrugged as she grabbed a football. “Don’t care. I know I am not going to sleep and if I stay here, I am just going to get stuck in my head and stress out. I need to get out.”

Christen stood. “What do you need from me?”

Tobin froze. “You aren’t going to try and stop me?”

“No hun. I will suggest packing your bag so when you come back before class you don’t have to worry about it. But I am not going to try and stop you. It will do more harm than good.” Christen explained.

Tobin cocked her head to the side. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Do you want me with you?” Christen countered.

Tobin smiled. “I always want you with me.”

Christen stood and threw on some warmer clothes. She grabbed her phone and shot off a text before she tucked it into her pocket. “Where are we going?”

Tobin shook herself out of her stupor and grinned. “I know a place.”

* * *

Christen was surprised to find herself on top of the science building. Not only was she expecting Tobin to head straight to the fields, she didn’t expect Tobin to pull out keys to the building. Tobin blushed and tucked her head down. “I spent a lot of time here in Freshman Year.” She didn’t elaborate and Christen didn’t push.

As a pre-med student, Christen was familiar with the building, but she had never been to the roof. It was pretty spartan but there were few places to sit. However, she knew Tobin wouldn’t be able to sit still. She stood and looked over the campus as Tobin started juggling. She wanted to give her space.

“This is a gorgeous view Tobin.” Christen said softly.

Christen could hear the ball bouncing up and down and didn’t expect a response. She didn’t expect anything from Tobin, but she hoped that her quiet presence would help. She didn’t expect Tobin to start talking.

“I stole the key from a janitors cart at 2am in November of my Freshman Year. I was 15 and everything was so loud. Nowhere was quiet enough for me to sort out my thoughts. They always found me on the soccer pitch and all the 24-hour diners around campus had been told by coach that if I was there after 11pm they had to call HAO to take me home. I was in the same room we are in now and the team was roomed all around me. Somehow every time I went to the roof someone would come up within 20 minutes and bring me back down.” Tobin chuckled darkly. “Some were nicer about it than others. I needed space and I needed somewhere they wouldn’t find me. No one even knows that this building has roof access. I didn’t either. One night I was antsy. I still don’t know why. But I walked all the way here by myself in the pouring rain. I found the door unlocked and a janitors cart sitting in the hall. The keys were sitting there and all labelled. One said ‘science-roof’. I took it and ran. Up the stairs and I was praying it worked. Thankfully it did and I spent the entire night standing on the roof in the pouring rain. I had never felt so free or so calm.”

Tobin didn’t stop juggling the entire time she spoke and Christen kept looking across the campus. She could tell Tobin just needed to talk.

“No one has ever asked me what I needed. They just assumed I needed to go back to my room. Thank you for this Chris.”

Christen turned when she heard the juggling stop and looked at the teen. Her shoulders were tense, and she was worried. Christen didn’t make a move across the roof but she did speak. “I know these three things about tonight.

  1. You want everything to be perfect for Ali.
  2. You are terribly excited and nervous. 
  3. You have your routines and ways you cope with it.

"I am sure you come up here when you are excited, not just when you are tense. You can always tell me what you need. I will never assume to know what is best for you. So if you need me to come here with you every night because you are excited or upset, I will. If you need something else, I will do that too. But you have to promise me something.” Christen waited until she saw her nod.

“Promise that you will tell me if you go somewhere without me. If you need to get out and go, leave me a note or send me a text. I won’t come and bother you, but this way if someone comes looking for you and is worried, I can say I know exactly where you are.”

Tobin smiled. “I promise.” She sighed. “I’m going to be a nightmare today, aren’t I?”

Christen chuckled. “We will figure it out. Does that mean you are ready to go back to bed?”

Tobin shrugged. “May as well try and get an hours sleep.” She held her hand out to Christen. “Can I cuddle with you?”

Christen smiled as she walked across and took the offered hand. “Always.”

* * *

It was 6am by the time they got back into bed and Tobin was out like a light after she had snuggled in next to Christen. The striker grinned at the now peaceful teen before she checked her phone. She found an unexpected reply to the text she had sent to Ash before they left.

_Christen: tobin hasn’t slept and is now going out. Can you bring sugary snacks to training?_

_Ash: easy. Keep her away from coffee in the morning. Sleepy tobi is easier to deal with than caffeinated tobi according to Perry. i’ll put the girls on tobi watch._

She grinned and set her alarm for 7 to make sure Tobin got up for class. She didn’t have class until 11 and could sleep after Tobin got sorted.

It would be a long day, but she had no idea how long.

* * *

The teen probably would have been better off not going to sleep. Because waking up was hard.

Christen did her best to get Tobin out of their room in time for class but it was hard when she was attached to her front in a cuddle and was refusing to move from the bed. “Tobin, let me go and get changed.”

“But you’re comfy and warm.”

Christen rolled her eyes. “Tobi…”

“No.”

“You need to go. You will feel better once you get up and get out. I promise I will bring you something nice before training. And I will bring your gear with me, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

Tobin rolled off Christen unaware of where she was on the bed. She landed flat on the floor with a thump. “Ow.”

Christen chuckled but got out of bed and found Tobin’s gear. Thankfully her bag was already packed. Her schoolbooks were the one thing no one was allowed to touch. She turned from where she was gathering some food for Tobin and found her standing there with her head in an armhole of her shirt and a pout. “Oh my god you are useless in the mornings.” Christen laughed. She made sure her gaze didn’t drop from Tobin’s pouty face. “I am not helping you put a shirt on Tobin.”

Tobin pouted harder before she groaned and fixed her shirt. Her head popped out of the neck hole and Christen smiled at her. “Food is in your backpack. You have to get going.”

Tobin walked forward and threw her arms around Christen. “I don’t wanna.”

Christen hugged her tightly. “I know. But if you get through this day, Ali will be here at the end of it.”

Christen felt the grin in her shoulder. “I’m so excited.”

“Me too.”

Tobin pulled back and cocked her head to the side. She was thinking deeply but Christen didn’t call her on. She just smiled at her. “You really need to go.”

Tobin nodded before she took a breath. “I know. I have a chem test at 11 today as well.”

Tobin stood back, quickly took her medication, grabbed a random jumper and her bag before going to the door. She grinned as she grabbed her skateboard and beanie. “I’ll see you later Chris. Thank you for last night.” Tobin looked adorable but she was also serious

Christen shrugged. “You would do the same for me.”

Tobin smiled. “I’d do anything for you.” She ran out the door and Christen stood gaping at the door.

“Damn.” Christen whispered before she moved back to her bed. “That girl will be the death of me.”

* * *

Allie Long was new to UNC this year. A Junior transfer, she was slowly learning her way around the campus. She was settling into the team and even though she didn’t know exactly why Tobin got treated the way she did, she knew not to bother her. The text at 5am about a ‘tobi watch’ was concerning, but she didn’t know what it meant. They rarely spoke but Allie was aware of her. The kid was a crack-up and a goofball. She liked her.

However, there were a lot of things that she wasn’t aware of.

Allie was walking from lunch with her boyfriend Bati after her class had finished just after 1pm and she saw a figure in Stanford hoodie wobbling ahead of her on a skateboard. Before either of them could catch up to them, they fell down in a heap under a tree before lying down on their side.

“Shit.” Allie jogged ahead and was shocked to find Tobin in the oversized hoodie. She had massive bags under her eyes and they were bloodshot. “Tobin?”

The teen forced her eyes open and grinned dopily. “That’s me! Hi Harry!”

“Are you okay?” Allie asked as Bati crouched next to her, ignoring that she got called Harry.

“Yeah. Just needed to sit before my next class. It is a long way away.” Tobin was slightly slurring her words.

“Are you drunk? You fell off your board kid.” Bati asked, blunt as hell.

“She is 17!” Allie hissed.

“So?”

Tobin grinned. “I don’t drink. Bad stuff happens when you do.”

“Right. We will help you to your next class. Have you had some lunch?” Allie asked.

“No time. Too many labs.” She pouted. She looked adorable.

Allie turned to Bati and smiled. “Can you run and grab her a sandwich and an energy drink? She needs somethings otherwise she is going to pass out for real.”

Bati nodded and ran off. Allie turned to the tired kid and sighed. “What are we going to do with you?”

Tobin shrugged. “Carry me Harry?”

“Nope. Up you get. We are walking and Bati will catch up. You don’t have time to waste. Besides, I’m not Harry. You can be Harry.” Allie pulled the groaning girl up to her feet and caught her as she swayed. “Did you even sleep?”

Tobin shook her head. “Nu-uh. You’re a Harry.” She sighed. “I tried to sleep but Ali is coming, and I got super wound up because it wasn’t perfect.” She tucked her head into Allie’s shoulder and smiled. “Chris had to cuddle me to sleep and I only got the tiniest bit.”

Allie chuckled but was slightly unnerved. This kid didn’t initiate contact except with Ash and Christen. “Oh yeah?”

“Chris gives the best cuddles.”

Before Allie could comment on that bombshell, Bati came back with a pair of sandwiches and two cans of mother. “I figured she would need extra.”

Allie and Bati each stood on one side of Tobin and walked with her as she went to class. She slowly woke up as she ate and drank, but they knew the drink would take a few minutes to give her that jolt. They dropped at the door of the mathematics building and she gave them both a hug. She didn’t say anything but smiled as she walked away.

Allie and Bati looked at each other and shrugged. “We got her here.” Bati stated.

“It’ll be interesting to see if she makes it to training.”

* * *

_Tobin was flying. She was on a high and no one could bring her down. She skated across campus from her class and was beaming. She wasn’t tired, she was flying!_

Tobin came crashing through the changing room doors with her hoodie on backwards, no shoes on, one sock and her hat on sideways. She looked wild. “HARRY!” She screamed and tried to skate forwards but ran into the bench in the middle and wiped out on the floor.

“Fuck.”

The team was shocked. No one knew what to do. Christen wasn’t there yet and Ash was talking to the physio. They were all looking at each other in horror. Because they knew somehow Tobin had had caffeine and they thought they had ensured every café, diner, restaurant, shop and convenience store knew not to serve her.

But this didn’t look like she had had caffeine. She looked like she had had cocaine.

Allie took a step forward at the girl on the floor. “Tobin?” She asked carefully.

Tobin’s head snapped up and she zeroed in on Allie. “HARRY!” She jumped up and crash tackled her in a hug. Allie held her up but was spooked.

“I told you, I’m not Harry, you're Harry. What is up with you?” She spoke softly to try and calm the kid down.

Tobin grinned and pulled herself out of the hug. “I’m ready to train!” She stood and tried to walk to her locker but was stumbling and tripping over her feet. “Stupid floor is being stupid.” Eventually she stumbled her way into Christens locker and curled up.

“Chris has my stuff and I can’t train with no pants so I’m sitting here for a bit.”

Allie turned to one of the freshman and growled. “Get Harris in here now. And someone else go find Press.”

They ran out in pairs and Allie approached her like a wounded animal. She was shaking like a leaf. “Alright Harry. Do you need anything?”

“Can you get me one of those drinks Harry? I feel AWESOME and I am not tired at all.” Tobin asked, loudly.

Before Allie could reply, Ash spoke from behind everyone. “What did you drink Tobi?”

Tobin looked across at Ash before averting her gaze and shrugging. “I didn’t do nothing.”

Ash groaned. “Allie? Do you know what is happening?”

Allie shrugged. “I found her basically passed out under a tree after lunch. Bati got her some sandwiches and energy drinks and we walked her to class. That is literally all I know.”

“Crap. What drink was it?”

“Mother. Why?” Allie was confused as everyone who had been on the team for over a year groaned. “Can someone explain?”

“It isn’t your fault Allie. Tobin knows she can’t drink those.” Ash explained.

Tobin was pouting. “But I was so tired Ashy. I wanted to stay awake all day and all night and all day and it was too hard.”

Allie was still confused. “I promise I will explain later. Right now, we need to sober her up.” Ash was tense.

Before they could continue, Christen ran in with two kit bags and a bag full of snacks for Tobin. “What is happening? I just got dragged by some freshman halfway across campus!”

“CHRIS! I MADE IT! I’M FUCKING HERE!” Tobin yelled from her spot behind Allie and Ash. She was beaming and looking at Christen with heart eyes.

Christen was wide-eyed and freaked. “You’re here early Tobi.” She did well to keep her voice steady.

“My professor kicked me out. Apparently, I was a distraction and a disaster waiting to happen.” Tobin looked so proud of herself for it.

Christen dropped the bags and came across the changeroom. “Tobin, what did you do? You were in the Maths building!”

“I couldn’t sit still and cause I’m super smart I finished super quick, so I decided to skateboard through the halls while the teacher was gone. I tried to go down the stairwell, but I couldn’t get past the door without getting of my board, so I just went straight into it. He saw me and kicked me out for the day!”

Christens eyes went wide. “First question: are you okay?” She had to keep calm.

Tobin nodded. “I am super duper and super excited!” She punched her fist into the air but misjudged it and hit the side of Christens locker. "Ow!"

“Second question: have you taken any drugs or medication you aren’t meant?”

Tobin shook her head vigorously. “No. I don’t do that shit.”

“Third question: What did you have today that was different?”

Tobin grinned. “Harry’s boyfriend gave me Mother. It was awesome.”

“How much did you have Tobi?” Christen asked, well aware the whole team was watching this exchange.

Tobin sunk back a bit. “Two cans before class and two during it.”

“HARRY! You only had two from Bati!” Allie exclaimed.

Tobin shrugged. “I found a vending machine. They taste so good.”

Christen nodded. “I know they do.” She turned to Ash and smiled. “I’d take the team out early. Tell Anson we will be out if we can.”

Ash nodded and led the team away, having to physically pull a very worried Allie Long away. “Bye Harry!” Tobin called, smiling dopily.

* * *

When the team had left, Christen turned back to Tobin with a frown. “Do you know what is happening to you right now?”

“I have a super amount of energy and nothing is wrong?” Tobin asked hopefully. When she saw the serious look on Christens face, she sighed. “I feel shaky Chris.”

“I’m not surprised. You are basically on speed or coke right now Tobin.” Christen frowned before she stood Tobin up and helped her walk to the showers. Tobin didn’t complain and just held on tight. Christen pushed her into a shower cubicle and turned on the cold water. Tobin flinched but stayed under the spray. It felt good after a few minutes.

Fifteen minutes later Tobin came out shivering and Christen handed her a towel and change of clothes. “Get changed quick Tobi so you don't get sick.” Tobin did and felt very comfortable in the training pants and shirt. Once she was ready she sat next to Christen with a sigh.

“My head hurts and I am tired.”

“You are crashing. It isn’t going to be fun.” Christen stated. “Did Perry ever explain why you aren’t allowed caffeine or energy drinks?”

Tobin shook her head. “Not really. She used to just say I was too young. I never really thought about it past that.”

“If you have to much it can mess with your medications Tobin. If you had only had one or two, you would have been hyper but okay. Four? You looked like you were high Tobin. You will have cuts and bruises from running into things. You just won't feel them for a bit.”

“But I needed to stay awake. I had to survive class and then training before I could sleep again.” Tobin tried to explain.

Christen cut her off. “I know. But if you were really struggling, I am sure your teachers would have preferred you go back to our room and sleep rather than try and skateboard through the halls once you finished your work.”

Christen moved to the physio bench and lay down. “Come here Tobin. Just relax for a bit while your body resets.”

Tobin moved across and cuddled into Christen on the tiny physio table. She was shaking and Christen held her close. “I’m not mad. I’m scared and I feel guilty. I shouldn’t have sent you to class today, but I thought you would be okay. I am so sorry Tobin.” Christens words were quiet enough that Tobin only caught a few around her heavy breathing, but she felt the tears on the side of her face.

Tobin just held Christen close for a few minutes until she felt her heartrate settle and her breathing even out. When she could sit up, she did. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

“You didn’t know Tobin.”

Tobin shook her head. “That isn’t an excuse! Even if I didn’t, I had four cans of something that were harmful. I was stupid. I know I was tired, but I was stupid, and I liked feeling like I was flying. I wouldn’t have four cups of coffee straight after each other because I wouldn’t know how I would react to just one. Why is it okay for me to do it with energy drinks?”

Christen smiled sadly. “It isn’t. But we could have avoided this.” Christen sighed. “Let’s get out and on the field. The team trainer needs to check on you first before we do anything else.”

They walked out hand-in-hand. Tobin was shaking and needed the support while Christen wanted to know she was there.

Tobin was checked out by the trainer and doctor with both clearing her for a light session running laps. She had settled down with the cold shower and the short reprieve. She needed to get the chemicals out of her system though and exercise was the fastest way to do that.

Tobin spent the hour-long session pushing herself and punishing herself. She knew it had been stupid, but she honestly couldn’t care about how crappy she felt physically.

She had terrified everyone. Christen, Ash, Har-ALLIE! Why didn’t she do the smart thing and say she wasn’t up to it? Why did she do this to herself? Why did she do this to everyone else?

Tobin didn’t realise she had stopped running and was just standing in the corner of the pitch until a voice spoke quietly to her. “I hear you’ve had a bad day.”

Tobin seized up and spun around. She gasped. “Ali?”

The defender smiled softly. “Hi Tobin.”

Tobin’s eyes watered and she ran to Ali. The defender wrapped her up tight and held her as she sobbed. “Easy kid. You’re okay.”

“I hurt everyone! I scared everyone! I was stupid! I am so sorry” Tobin sobbed into Ali’s chest and she just held her tighter.

“I know. And they all know. But they are worried about you. If you want to help them feel better, you need to get yourself sorted today.” Ali spoke calmly and evenly. If she showed her worry, Tobin would panic. “Right now, we are going to go back to your dorm room. You are going to shower and get super comfy and we are going to order pizza and talk. Nothing stressful, nothing strenuous. Just you, me and Christen.”

Tobin nodded into her shoulder and hiccupped when she tried to talk. It took a few goes but she got there. “Can Ash come too?”

Ali smiled. “Of course. I have to officially meet this best friend of yours.”

* * *

Tobin ate two slices of pizza before she passed out in Christens lap. The striker didn’t care, happy to see her sleep before 2am for the first time in a week.

Ali smiled at the pair. “You know, Tobin doesn’t say a lot about you, but she somehow manages to bring you up in every conversation we have. She cares about you.”

Christen smiled. “I care about her too.” She was stroking Tobin’s hair and she looked upset.

Ash could see that Christen still blamed herself for what happened that day. It wasn’t her fault. “Tobin is 17. She made her own decisions today Christen.”

Christen scoffed. “I should have tried to get her to sleep earlier or not let her go out. I should have not let her go to class. I should have done something.”

“If you had done that, she would have hated you. You give her freedom to sort it out. She needs to find her limits and her boundaries. Four cans of energy drinks aren’t great for anyone, but it is doable. Tobin reacts badly to it with her medication. She knows now and she won’t forget. You did everything you could.” Ash put her hand on Christens shoulder. “She is going to make mistakes. This was big one, but she is okay now. We will sort it out with her teachers and after a few days it will be fine.”

Christen wiped the tears from her eyes. “Tomorrow will be interesting. No class in the morning.”

Ali smiled. “Go to sleep kid. You need it as much as Tobin does.”

Christen lay down next to Tobin and the teen immediately wrapped herself around her again. Ash and Ali left to give them some space and talk. It had been an emotional meeting and day for everyone.

* * *

They sat in the common room down the hall and were immediately set upon by a few of the players. They were worried and pacing and Ash just smiled at them. “Give it a few days and everything will be okay, I promise.”

They didn’t look convinced but left. The only one who stayed was Allie. She looked wrecked. “I had no idea that energy drinks would do that to her. We just wanted her to stay awake.”

“It’s fine. It isn’t your fault.” Ash tried to placate her but she wasn’t having it.

“If I hadn’t gotten it for her, this wouldn’t have happened! Of course it is my fault!” Allie was tearing up and Ali stood to comfort her. She pulled her into her arms.

“Did you know Tobin punched Brazilian football players in the face?” She asked quietly as she held her.

Allie shook her head.

“I went to the bathroom and came back to the end of a brawl. I thought it was my fault because I wasn’t there to help Tobin keep her cool.”

“But you couldn’t have known what would have happened.” Allie was incredulous.

“That is my point. You didn’t have any idea what would happen. You were trying to help a kid who was exhausted and needed to get through class. Would you have felt better if you had left her on the floor basically passed out?”

“NO!”

“Then don’t punish yourself for helping her. No one knew what would happen. A combination of exhaustion, nervous, anxiousness, medication and energy drinks sent her for a spin. That isn’t something you could have realised.”

Allie shook herself and nodded. “Is she okay?”

Ash chuckled. “She is asleep, wrapped up around Christen like wrapping paper.”

Allie smiled. “Are they together? Because they are adorable, and Tobin said some stuff when she was exhausted and drooling on my shoulder…”

Ash shook her head. “No. Not yet at least. We aren’t going to push it either. After today that may change though.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “Harry is sending out heart eyes every time she sees her.”

They laughed at that and agreed.

Ali quietly snuck back into the room and saw that both of the younger girls were sound asleep. Tobin was draped all over Christen and Christen had her wrapped up tight.

She smiled at them, happy such a long day ended on a happy note.

Tomorrow she would probe her little sister about her very obvious crush. For tonight, she would let them sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THoughts? I feel like I have dangled Ali and Ash right there and given you nothing. NEXT CHAPTER PROBS
> 
> I did not expect for this to be the chapter but i liked it. It is different and emotional. 
> 
> PSA - Energy Drinks are not the best things in the world and can fuck with your body. Add in lots of stress, no sleep and medication, you go off the fucking rails. 
> 
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> ellaaa25 xoxo


	7. The Next Day...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath... not really. A few chats happen and some revealations...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took my time with this one. That is all I will say about it. I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> I don't own anything except the mistakes. Let me know if there are some glaring ones!

Tobin woke up with a groan. Her body was sore, she had a bad headache and she was still tired.

  
She felt the body below her shift, so she opened her eyes to find Christen smiling at her. “Hey.”

Tobin smiled and shrugged, which caused her to wince in pain. “Ow.” She grabbed her shoulder with a grimace. “That hurts.”

Christen chuckled. “Well you did skateboard into a door and wipe out over a bench in the changerooms. I don’t think it is the only thing that is going to hurt.”

Tobin pouted which caused Christen to smile and kiss her on the temple. She had no idea how adorable she looked. Her hair was wild from sleep as well and Christen just couldn’t hold back the affection. It was just Tobin at her purest and cutest and Christen was smitten.

When she pulled back, both were blushing, and Tobin had a slightly stupid smile on her face. She didn’t say anything, but she did drop her head back onto Christens shoulder and snuggled in with a sigh.

“You two are fucking adorable.”

The pair froze and Christen looked across to the other bed to find Ali and Ashlyn sitting there. Ash was obviously the one who had just spoken because Ali elbowed her in the side and hissed. “Don’t tease them.”

Christen went bright red and dropped her head back into her pillow. Tobin just buried her head further into Christens shoulder and refused to come out.

“Come on you two. We have to get some breakfast and catch up.” Ali said as she stood from the bed with Ash. “You can cuddle later.”

“Aliiiiiiiiiiiiii.” Tobin whined. It was muffled by Christens shoulder and Ash grinned at the sound.

The older defender just chuckled as she and Ash left the room. “Suck it up princess. This is just day one! I’m here for a week.”

The door shut behind them, but you could still hear their laughter in the hallway. Christen just shook her head in disbelief. “This is going to be interesting.”

* * *

Ali and Ash were laughing their heads off as they walked down to the common area.

“Are they always like that?” Ali asked, slightly in disbelief.

Ash wiped the tears form her eyes as she nodded. “I’ve never seen Christen kiss her on the head before, but the cuddling and the poutiness? Always.”

“And Tobin has no idea she has a crush on Christen?” Ali asked.

“If she hasn’t figured out some of it, I will be shocked. She hasn’t said anything, but sometimes you find her just looking at Chris with a stupid grin on her face.”

“How long till she comes running and asking one of us about it?” Ali asked.

Ash barked out a laugh but then shrugged. “I'm not sure. Tobin doesn’t see that stuff normally, crushes and relationship stuff. She has never been in that position before. Tobi is only 17 and with everything that has happened, I don’t think she has ever needed to be on the lookout for it. And she does this thing that until she is ready to talk, she bottles it up. It just depends on when she thinks she is ready. It could be soon though. They have been touchy-feely more than normal lately and Tobin initiates it a lot.”

“What about Christen?”

“Christen will be 21 at the end of the year and I think she is happy how things are. Oh, she definitely likes Tobin. I already kind of fronted her about that and told her to figure her shit out before Tobin realises what is happening. But she is going at Tobin’s pace and not pushing anything. That temple kiss is the most forward I have seen her be.” Ash took a breath. “Christen is aware that Tobin is… well, for lack of a better word, Tobin. She is giving her time and space to come to terms with it. In the month and a bit that they have known each other, I have never seen any red flags. Chris is really accommodating and with Tobin’s class load and hers, they spend half their time studying. Christen is an honour student and transferred for an academic scholarship because she wants to be a doctor. Soccer is just something she is doing on top of that, even if she is fucking good. They nerd out together and it is cute as fuck.” Ash explained.

Ali just smiled. “This will be interesting.”

* * *

Christen and Tobin changed quickly and went to breakfast with Ali and Ash. The older girls hid their giggles when they saw Christen wearing Tobin’s number 98 shorts and Tobin in a pair of Christens Stanford track pants. They both looked so comfortable and content, so they didn’t call them on it.

Ali didn’t say a lot at breakfast. In fact, no one did except Tobin. The genius was so happy her three favourite people were together at once was making her ramble. You only had to ask one question about one of the others and Tobin would talk your ears off about how awesome they were.

And the entire time Tobin didn’t let go of Christens hand. Whether she was fidgeting with the fingers or just holding it close, she was in constant contact with the striker who looked at her like she was the only thing that mattered.

So Ali didn’t say much at breakfast. But she watched it all. And she saw how Christen looked at Tobin with pride, love and amusement. She saw how Ash rolled her eyes at the silliness but could see that behind all that was a deep love and protectiveness of the teen. And she saw how happy and content Tobin was.

She was comfortable.

Even though Tobin was settled with the national team, she wasn’t fully comfortable. This relaxed, carefree and bouncy Tobin was rarely seen in camp. But she was in full view here.

So Ali didn’t say anything. She let the girl she thought of as her baby sister ramble and smile and tell stories about them all. She let her brag and fidget to her hearts content. Because Tobin was free to be herself and Ali loved seeing it.

* * *

Tobin was mid-sentence when she moved her arm that had been in constant contact with Christen the wrong way and winced. “Ow shit.” She grabbed it gently and cringed.

Before Ali or Ash could say or do anything, Christen was talking. “Your shoulder again?” She asked quietly. Tobin nodded with a grimace.

“I forgot about it. It hurts like hell.”

Christen hummed. “Do you want to get it looked at before class? You have an hour or so.” She stated.

Tobin shook her head furiously. “No. I’ll be fine. I just need ice.”

Christen looked quizzically at the teen. “Are you sure? You have been holding it and guarding it most of the morning. It can’t hurt for the doctor to look.”

“The team doctor said I was fine yesterday.” Tobin countered stubbornly.

“She was only checking on whether you could run laps and you weren’t aware your shoulder was busted yesterday.” Christen said calmly, hiding her concern.

“Chris, I’m fine. I promise.” She turned and looked at the older student. “I swear if it gets worse, I will go. But it’s fine.” Tobin was pleading with Christen and Ali was curious to see how it would go.

Christen frowned. “If it is still sore tonight, I will look at it if you’re okay with that. I just don’t want you hurting yourself more.”

“I know. And it is my own stupid fault my shoulder hurts. But I don’t want to go to see the doctor.” Tobin was resolute. “You can check if you want, but the doctor isn’t needed.”

Christen nodded. “Okay. Just don’t push yourself too far okay Tobi?”

Tobin nodded and hugged Christen with her good arm. “I promise.”

The two stayed like that for longer than was necessary. Ali looked at Ash with a question in her eyes and the goalkeeper mouthed she would explain later. Ali nodded her acceptance and turned back to the pair. “Tobi, you should probably get to class.”

The teen nodded into Christens shoulder but refused to stop hugging her. Christen rolled her eyes and smiled. “You can hug me after. I promise.” That caused them all too chuckle and Tobin pulled back with a pout. Christen just smiled cheekily and Tobin rolled her eyes in response.

“I’ll see you back at our room before dinner.” Tobin got up, hugged Ali tightly, said bye to Ash and then wandered off to get her books and get to class, unaware that the mood at the table she had just left was changing.

It was quiet for about thirty seconds before Christen broke the silence. “Do either of you have any idea why she reacted that badly about going to see the doctor? Because that was not a reaction I expected.”

Ali shrugged but looked at Ash. The goalkeeper sighed. “It could be one of two reasons. She doesn’t have the best history with doctors and physios from what I have seen. I don’t know what it is exactly, but she freaked out freshman year when she got injured and had to see the physio. She refused to go and curled up in a ball in the corner of her closet. Perry had to come across town and get her and be with her the whole time.” Ash shrugged. “Now, she will go with someone else, but not by herself. Sometimes we have to call Perry in to take her to the doctor if she is sick or something because she refuses to go. She is the only one who can get her up and in that doctors office, but she won’t explain why.”

Ali frowned. “She got treatment a few times with the national team and didn’t have a problem.”

“And the team doctor saw her yesterday and she had no issues.” Christen added.

Ash sighed. “The team doctor and physio never see her one-on-one, they never touch her somewhere she can’t see it, they talk her through every step and she always has someone she knows and trusts with her. If she has to get a massage or something on her legs, it is usually in the middle of the changeroom with the whole squad around, so she has people there. It is never her back or shoulders.”

Ali sat back heavily. “Almost every massage was in full view of most of the team and one of the New Kids was always next to her, talking to her the entire time. If she was in the treatment room, the door was half open and Hope was with her. Fuck, I didn’t even realise it was different to what we got.”

“Perry must have spoken to them, or Anson did. Because Tobin will flip her shit if she is one-on-one with a doc.”

“What about the second reason?” Christen asked.

Ash grinned. “Simple. She doesn’t want Perry to find out. She is underage, meaning Perry will get an update if she goes to the doctor and she will want an explanation. Do you think Tobin wants to explain she got high as shit on energy drinks and skateboarded into a door?”

The pair laughed at the image of Tobin having to explain herself to Perry and the mood relaxed just a touch. Christen sat back with a grin and shook her head. “That girl will be the death of me.”

Ali chuckled. “Well, you are already wrapped around her little finger. Those cuddles this morning were very domestic. It is very cute.”

Christen rolled her eyes but smiled with a blush. She didn’t respond but her reaction said everything it needed too.

Ash grinned. “I don’t think you two could have gotten any closer. She was wrapped up tight all night.”

Christens blush deepened but she refused to give them what they wanted. “Why were you in our room last night anyway? You have your own down the hall!”

Ash’s eyes quickly darted to Ali before she blushed slightly and shrugged. “I was worried about Tobin and Ali was nice enough to let me crash with her. Nothing else too it. I just wanted to keep an eye on the kid.”

Christen narrowed her eyes in disbelief. “Sure. Nothing else.” Christens sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed but Ali just kept sipping her coffee without a care in the world.

“Will Tobin be crashing with you for the week Chris, or will she be sharing with me? She didn’t actually tell me before I got here.” Ali asked, moving the conversation along.

“Apparently you kick in your sleep and I cuddle, so she is going to be with me. She usually sleeps like the dead anyway, so it is no issue.” Chris explained.

Ali’s eyebrow shot up. “I kick in my sleep?” She asked in disbelief.

Chris shrugged. “Apparently so.” She excused herself to go to the bathroom and left the two older footballers sitting there stunned.

Ash spoke. “I can say that from very limited experience sleeping next to you, you do not kick in your sleep.”

Ali chuckled. “Tiny Tobi wanted to cuddle with Chris and used me to do it. That little shit!”

Ash grinned. “Kids got game. Maybe we need to re-evaluate our initial idea that Tobin doesn’t realise she likes Christen.”

“Oh, she knows something at least.” Ali shook her head ruefully. “I’m proud of her. That is something I would do. Cheeky little monkey.”

Ash went to reply but saw Christen coming back. She looked at their grinning faces with a confused look. “What?”

Ash waved it away. She wouldn’t say anything until she spoke with Tobin. “Nothing. Just Tiny Tobi being a little shit.”

Christen snorted in laughter. “I think that is her default setting when she trusts someone.”

Ali grinned but quickly sobered. She had something she needed to ask Christen. “She looks at you like you’ve hung the moon. You know that, right?”

Christen sighed as she sat down. “I do. And I am sure I look at her the same way. It doesn’t change anything though.”

Ash frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m just going to put my cards on the table. I like her. A lot. But she is still 17, a college junior, a player on the US National Team and a fucking genius. It wouldn’t be fair of me to say anything to her. She has so much on her plate and I honestly don’t know if she realises that she likes me, or if she does at all. I know she treats me differently and I know everyone else sees that too. But she might not know why. And I am happy to wait as long as it takes for her to come to that realisation on her own. I will never push her.” Christen sighed. “It kind of sucks but I will be her friend as long as she needs me to be. She deserves that.”

Ali sighed and Ash nodded. “You will wait for her to figure it out?” Ali asked. “Because that could take ages, or it could take a week. You never know with Tobi. I don’t want her to get hurt if you give up on waiting for her and her big brain to figure it out.”

Christen put her hand on top of Ali’s with a small smile. “Ali, I get that you worry about her. Please know that the last thing I want to do is hurt her. I know she is different, but that is what I love about her. I love that she gets so excited she is practically vibrating, or she can’t stop moving. I love how her brain works and how she sees the world. I love that she will randomly start talking in another language when she gets tired and that her glasses are too big for her face. She is Tobin and I only want her to be happy.” Christen explained. “I would wait forever if I had too. Tobin is worth everything in the world and she deserves it all. Right now, we are friends and I am really happy with that. I won’t push her, and I won’t try and make things happen. I am happy to go at whatever pace she wants, if that is even what she wants.”

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and huffed. “Tobin likes you, but I don’t think she knows exactly how much or why it is different this time. In a month you are the most important thing to her. You are stable and I think she will figure out what she is feeling sooner rather than later. The question is whether she acts on it.”

Christen smiled. “I hope she will. I don’t know much about her life before I met her, but she is a 17-year-old soccer prodigy, math genius, language savant and a science whiz. I am happy to do whatever I have to make her life easier and her happy. My favourite part of the day is when I am with her. I won’t mess it up, and I won’t hurt her.”

Ali nodded and stood to hug the medical student. “I know you won’t.”

* * *

Tobin came back from class with a grimace on her face and holding her arm gingerly. Christen wasn’t in their room but Ali was. The defender was reading a book on Tobin’s bed when she looked up and saw her.

“You look like shit Tobin.” Ali was blunt but Tobin liked that about her.

Tobin sighed. “My shoulder is really sore Al.” She dropped her bag on the floor before she walked across the room and laid herself down in Ali’s lap. The defender started smoothing the hair back off her face.

“How can I help?” Ali asked. “Also, you are like vibrating right now. What’s going on?”

“If my head goes fast, my body goes fast. I don't know if you can help. All I know is that I want Christen.” Tobin’s voice was small.

Ali smiled. “She should be back from class soon Tobes.”

Tobin nodded and closed her eyes. She was quiet for a few minutes and Ali honestly would have thought she had fallen asleep if she wasn’t still fidgeting. Eventually, she quietly said her name. “Ali?”

“Yea?”

“How do you know if someone likes you as more than a friend? Because I really like someone, but I don’t know what they feel for me.”

Ali’s eyes went wide but she found a response eventually. “It is different for everyone Tobin. What do you feel?”

Tobin sighed. “My body does some funny stuff when I’m around C… someone. My stomach starts fluttering and I lose my train of thought. I drop stuff all the time or do something stupid and half the time it is on purpose just to see her smile. Seeing her smile is the best thing ever. I just want to be with her all the time.” Tobin looked up at Ali. “What do I do?”

“Do you know how they feel? Even a little bit.” Ali asked.

Tobin shrugged. “I don’t really know how I feel except different and happy.”

“It sounds like you have a massive crush Tobi. The fact you want her to smile and be with her a lot sounds a lot like a crush to me.” Ali smiled at Tobin. “Does she do the same with you?”

“I think so. She is always so happy and helping me and she is always happy to link arms or cuddle. Is that what friends do normally?” Tobin asked.

“Sometimes, but not always.”

Tobin sighed. “What do I do next?”

Ali shrugged. “I think you need to talk to them. Because I think you really like this person, and from being here less than 24 hours, I am pretty sure I know exactly who it is and that is pretty telling. Talking to them will help you figure out your head and your feelings.”

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same?” Tobin was quiet. “It could ruin everything.”

Ali made Tobin sit up and ensured she was looking her dead in the eye. “Tobin. I love you. But you are being an idiot. You will never know if you don’t say something and it won’t ruin anything. It will make your relationship, your friendship, stronger. Because you already have an awesome friendship. This will only make it better.”

Tobin frowned. “But Chris could do so much better than me.” Her small voice broke Ali's heart but she put on a smile because she needed too. 

Ali smiled. “There is no one better than you. And she loves you already as a friend and I can see how much she likes you as more than that. It is written all over her face and in everything she does with you.”

“I don’t want to lose her.”

Ali pulled her in for a hug. “You won’t. Because Chris looks at you like you put the stars in the sky just for her. But she won’t rush you. She will do everything she can to make you feel comfortable. I think that if you were ready to talk to her and explain your feelings, she would beam and be so happy. It could be tomorrow, or it could be in a year. Because she will wait for you. You can see it on her face.”

Tobin looked hopeful. “Really?”

“We can see it as clear as day. But you don’t have to say anything until you are ready Tobin.”

Tobin went to respond when the door opened, and a grinning Christen came in. “Hi! Ready for dinner?”

Tobin didn’t hear Ali respond. Her mind was going 100 miles an hour and it was all thinking abou the angel in front of her. She was in shorts and an old singlet. Her hair was wild and her glasses were slightly wonky on her nose but Tobin was enraptured.

She didn’t say anything as she stood and started to walk across to Christen.

“Tobin? You okay?” Christen asked as the teen walked across with an odd look on her face.

Tobin wrapped Christen up in a hug and held her as long as she could. She buried her head in her neck and exhaled shakily. “I missed you.”

Christen wrapped her arms around Tobin’s waist and held her tight as Ali left the room quietly with a quick smile. “I missed you too. What’s going on in your head?”

“I don’t know. Everything is jumbled and everything is going 100 miles an hour Chris. It won’t slow down.”

Christen led them to her bed and she laid down with Tobin on top of her. She rubbed her back gently and kissed her temple on instinct. “Can I help you slow your brain down?”

Tobin moved her head out of Christens neck and rested her cheek on her shoulder. “I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Not possible. You won’t. I promise.” Christen smiled slightly.

Tobin just held her close for a few minutes before she closed her eyes, breathed deeply and bit the bullet. “We have only known each other for six weeks or something, but you are one of the most important people in the world to me. I do this thing where if I feel someone is family or really close, I know really quickly, and I latch on. Ali is the best example. Harry, I mean Allie, could be the same. I tried to push Ash away because it scared me, but she was stubborn and kept it up and now I can’t imagine life without her.”

Tobin looked at Christen with hope in her eyes. “You’re different. The first time I saw you I knew you were special. I had just got off a plane and I was exhausted, and you were here like an angel in sweatpants. I was weird because I wanted you to be comfortable and you were amazing at telling me to pull my head in. You treated me like a normal person who had quirks, not a freak who wanted to try and be normal.”

“I have ADHD. I’m impulsive. I flinch at unexpected contact but I latch onto people I trust until they push me away. I hate strangers. My brain does things so fast I can’t process them, and I spin out. I will hide in the corner of my closet when I am freaking out, I will go to the roof of the science building for quiet. I have panic attacks and I can’t have anything out of order otherwise my brain goes haywire. I’m fucked up.” Tobin had tears in her eyes and Christen wiped them away.

“You are not fucked up. I don’t care if your brain does weird shit or you can’t sit still. You are Tobin and I do not care if you are different. You are you. And I wouldn’t change you for the world.” Christens voice was firm but there were shakes from the emotions running through her body.

“You don’t wish I was just normal?” Tobin asked quietly.

“No. Because then you wouldn’t be the Tobin who I fell for in the first few weeks of knowing.” Christen said. “You are perfect and don’t let anyone change that. I like the Tobin who cuddles with me all the time. I like the Tobin who shakes in excitement. I like the Tobin who speaks in other languages in her sleep. I like the Tobin who makes stupid decisions and I like the Tobin who just needs to sit and chill because everything is going too fast right now. I like you, Tobin. I fell for you, Tobin. Not the Tobin who is ordinary. The Tobin who is extraordinary.” Christen had tears running down her cheeks but she refused to wipe them away and lose her hold on Tobin.

“Y-you like me?” Tobin stuttered. She sat up and moved next to Christen, but she held one of her hands tight while the other fidgeted with the hem of Christens shorts.

Christen grinned as she sat up as well. “So much.”

Tobin was stunned. “You don’t see me like a little sister like Ali and Ash do?” She had to be certain.

“No. I see you as Tobin. A really smart, really funny, loving, kind, awesome person who I really like. The same person I liked from the moment I saw her.” Christen face turned serious for a minute. “Now. Do you like me? Because it is okay if you don’t. I am – “

Tobin cut the older woman off with a massive hug which knocked both of them off the bed and onto the floor. Tobin just held on tight and spoke into the forwards shoulder because she had landed on top of her. “I really like you too, but I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know what to do at all. This is so weird, and I don’t know what my brain is doing, and my body does funny things and I don’t know Chris.” Tobin sounded panicked and Christen just held her until her breathing settled again.

Christen just held Tobin close as she spoke so she knew she was there. “Tobin, nothing has to change. We can still hang out and do exactly what we do now to start with. Eventually, things may change but we go at our pace. We don’t push it. Because, yes, we are in college, but you are 17 and you have had a different path to get here than most. A very hard path in some ways. We aren’t normal. We aren’t ever going to be normal so why should we do what everyone else does?”

Tobin thought about it and nodded before she lifted her head up and looked at Chris with watery eyes and a small smile. “That makes sense. Does that mean that I can call you my girlfriend?”

Christen beamed and chuckled. Her eyes had tears in them, but they were happy ones. “Yea. I think I would like that.” Tobin smiled back but suddenly got nervous and twitchy. “What is it Tobi?” Christen could see she was steeling herself for something.

“Can I kiss you?” Tobin blurted out. She then blushed and dropped her eyes which didn’t help because they ended up looking right at Christens boobs. She blushed and then looked to the side before rolling off and lying next to her, unaware that Christen knew exactly what had happened and was grinning that she had had that reaction on the younger girl.

“Whenever you want to Tobin. Remember, there is no rush.” It took a few minutes for Tobin to look at Christen and the blush was strong on her cheeks. “You don’t have to Tobin. We do this our way.”

Tobin nodded. “I really like you, but I haven’t done this before. Ever.”

“I figured. Remember, our pace Tobin. Not anyone else’s.”

Tobin darted across and kissed Christen on the cheek before she ducked her head down with a small grin. Christen chuckled and kissed the forehead in front of her.

Tobin looked up when Christen pulled back and she looked determined. She slowly moved across and kissed the girl that made her heart do somersaults. She hadn’t kissed anyone before, but Chris was right.

They did this their way. And if it was a bit wonky to start with, who fucking cared?

The kiss wasn’t chaste, but it wasn’t deep. The first kiss moved into the second and eventually Christen had to pull back for air. “Wow. You are really good at that Tobin.”

Tobin had a goofy look on her face. “I really liked that.” She leant forward and kissed her once more but had to pull back because she was grinning so widely. “Why haven’t we done that from the start?” Christen laughed at the younger girls’ comment.

“Because neither of us was ready then.”

Tobin nodded. “Yeah. That’s true. Are we telling people we are together or just leaving it?”

“Babe, I want to shout it from the roof top.” Christen said. “But I think that maybe we shouldn’t say anything until we’ve told your sister, my family, Ali and Ash first.”

Tobin’s eyes went wide before she collapsed back onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. “They are going to give us so much shit.” She held Christens hand as they both laid on the floor, content and calm.

Christen chuckled. “I know. But you know what?”

“What?”

“They will be happy for us. And it will come from a place of love.”

Tobin grinned. “I guess it will.” Tobin moved to stand up and drag Christen with her but groaned when her shoulder moved the wrong way. “Fuck.”

Christen frowned. “How the hell didn’t that hurt after we fell off the bed?” Christen sat Tobin down and kneeled in front of her.

“It did, but I had other things on my mind.” Tobin sighed. “I know I said I’d let you look at it tonight, but can we do that after dinner?”

“I’d rather look at it now to be sure. Or go to see the team doctor.” Christen stated.

Tobin frowned. “Can we get through dinner and then I’ll decide? I just, I don’t want you to see something that is on my back and have it ruin what just happened.”

Christen sat back on her heels and nodded. “Okay. I can do that. As long as you promise that if it gets too painful you tell me. No heroes okay?”

Tobin nodded and leant forward to kiss her quickly. “No heroes.”

* * *

Dinner was a fun affair. Not only were Ash and Ali there, but so was Allie and a few of the other players from the soccer team. Tobin and Christen sat next to each other and no one thought anything was different about them. They were still cuddly and touchy and in contact most of the time.

Tobin was sitting in the corner and her right arm barely moved from the back of Christens chair the entire time. It had stiffened up in that position and she didn’t want anyone to know that it was sore, so she just left it there and ordered a pasta she could eat one handed. Christen was concerned but she honoured her wishes and didn’t say anything.

Allie was on Tobin’s other side and she could tell something was up. “You okay Harry?”

Tobin grinned. “I’m not Harry. You are. But I’m fine. I promise.”

“Bullshit. You look like you’ve got a stick up your ass you’re sitting that still.” Allie wasn’t playing around.

Tobin looked Allie dead in the eye and smiled tightly. “I’m fine. Please, leave it Harry.” Tobin was pleading with her.

“We’ll talk later kid.” Allie promised.

Tobin sighed. Allie wouldn’t let it go but she took the reprieve. She felt a hand squeeze her thigh and she turned to see Christen looking up at her. “You okay Tobi?” She asked it quietly and no one else at the table heard.

“Fine. Bit tired and sore.”

“I’m happy to go whenever you are.” Christen said quietly.

Tobin nodded. “I think we should go now. You can check my shoulder and if you think I need to, we can book an appointment with my doctor in the morning. Perry can meet us there.” It was quiet and Tobin looked nervous, but it was a step.

“Okay.” Christen just squeezed her leg again before she stood and made a big deal about saying goodnight to everyone. That allowed Tobin to readjust her shoulder and cringe without a massive audience.

Except Allie, Ash and Ali all saw her. Because they were concerned about her they weren't watching Christens production of saying goodbye. They were watching the genius flinch and bite her lip to hold her cries in.

Once the pair had departed, the trio waited five minutes before they made their way out as well and hustled back to the dorm room. They got to the dorm room and Ali knocked softly before using the key Tobin had leant her to get in.

Tobin was very careful about who saw what. She always changed in the bathroom stall except on the odd occasion when Christen ensured she turned her back and didn’t look. When she roomed with Hope, she always took her clothes to the bathroom and came back changed. She never wore a singlet, a shirt was the minimum. Physio’s treated her legs and she had never had an upper body or shoulder injury, so no one had seen her back or shoulders before except Perry and a few doctors.

The three girls gasped when they saw Tobin’s bare back and shoulders for the first time. Christen and Tobin hadn’t heard the knock so neither had time to block their view.

“Harry, what the fuck happened to you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... can you see why it took a bit longer? We had some Preath!! And we had a cliffhanger... it would have been a monster chap if I didnt.
> 
> If it makes you feel better, I was going to cut this into two chapters after Ash, Ali and Christens chat. But it is longer cause I know i'd hate leaving it there.
> 
> I hope you all liked it but let me know below.


	8. Context

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perry sheds some light on their history.
> 
> TW: I won't say what for exactly because I don't want to ruin it, but if you've ready the story so far, you should have some idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes. Editing is probs poor so let me know if there is something glaring.
> 
> This is not a happy chapter. There is some lightheartedness but it is heavy.
> 
> I'm updating this before my other two stories because I left you on a cliff. Sorry I haven't replied to any of the comments, but there is a reason! Longer note at the end to explain though so keep a lookout.

Tobin and Christen walked back to their room together, unaware that a few of their friends had noticed Tobin’s pain. They were quiet and Tobin was growing tenser by the minute. Christen noticed this and slipped her hand into Tobin’s. The quiet support wasn’t verbally acknowledged but Christen could tell it was appreciated by the tight squeeze on her hand.

Once they got back to their room, Tobin walked across to her bed and sat down tensely on the edge. Christen knelt in front of her with a look of apprehension. “If you aren’t ready to show me Tobin, I can call Perry to book an appointment and she can just take you to the doctor tomorrow. I just don’t think that your shoulder should go unlooked at.”

Tobin nodded and kept her eyes on her clasped hands. “I know. But you will see it sooner or later, especially considering what happened today.” Despite her anxiousness, Tobin still got a goofy smile on her face at that.

“Our pace, remember? If you aren’t ready, I'm not ready. I’m just worried.” Christen was very clear and wanted Tobin to be certain.

“I’ll never really be ready.” Tobin sighed. “Can you help me take my shirt off?”

Christen snorted in laughter then quickly apologised. “Sorry. That just isn’t how I imagined you’d ask me to take your shirt off for the first time.”

Tobin giggled lightly. “Me either.”

“You thought about that?” Christen asked, slightly surprised.

Tobin rolled her eyes as she stood from the bed. “I may be useless in a lot of social situations, but I realised very early on that if I was thinking about you taking my shirt off, I didn’t think of us as just friends. It just took me a while to piece it together and figure out why. I kind of had an epiphany and freak out today before I spoke with Ali.” Tobin’s voice was quiet, and she was slowly moving her arms through her shirt as she spoke.

Christen helped her move her sore arm out of the arm hole while she replied. “Well, Ash told me to pull my shit together and figure out what I felt about three weeks ago. Apparently, neither of us were very good at hiding our feelings.”

Tobin chuckled. “We got there in the end.”

It was quiet between the two, but it wasn’t awkward. Tobin was standing there with only her left arm in her shirt, with the right one being below the fabric. Christen couldn’t see any skin that wasn’t normally visible, but she knew that would change.

“Are you ready?” Christen asked.

Tobin nodded. “Promise me you won’t freak out?” Her voice wasn’t hopeful.

“I’ll do my best Tobin.” Christen then moved across and helped Tobin move the shirt over her bad shoulder and head. She kept her eyes up and didn’t look towards her shoulder until after Tobin had readjusted the shirt to cover her chest and stomach as much as she could.

“You ready for me to look?” Christen had her eyes on Tobin’s. The young teen nodded and then dropped her head.

Christen took a deep breath and looked across to the shoulder which had caused Tobin so much discomfort. She tried to not react, but it was hard.

The shoulder was swollen, and bruising was starting to develop. It even went down her arm and chest and up her neck a bit as well. But that was what caused Christen reaction.

Underneath all the bruising and swelling were scars. Old ones, but they ranged from jagged to smooth, surgical to not. It was a mess and Christen didn’t know where to start.

“I know this may sound weird Tobin, but I don’t want to touch it. It is bruised and swollen and that is about all that I know. I don’t want to cause you more pain. But I think that maybe we should call Perry and go to the hospital.” Christens voice was level and soothing to try and ensure Tobin didn’t flip.

“Can you check the back of my shoulder as well please?” Tobin barely got the words out and Christen quickly did as she was asked.

This time she couldn’t keep her gasp of shock in. “Oh…” Christen was horrified and she froze. All she saw was the pain Tobin must have gone through getting those marks on her back.

“My shoulder Chris. Please?” Tobin pleaded with her and Christen quickly moved to look at it.

There was more scarring and bruising, but nothing that was worse that the front of her shoulder. “It looks the same as the front Tobi.” Tobin nodded and Christen came back around to stand in front of her. “I really think we should get that looked as soon as possible. It looks bad honey.”

Tobin opened her mouth to reply before she dropped her head and sighed. “I don’t want to go to the hospital Christen.”

“What about calling Perry then?”

_“Harry, what the fuck happened to you?”_

The door banged open and Christen heard two other gasps of horror. She looked over Tobin’s shoulder and found Ali, Allie, and Ash standing their horrified and upset.

Tobin froze. She just shut her eyes tight and tensed up. Christen stepped in front of the frozen Tobin and blocked their view of her. “What are you guys doing here?” Christens voice was tight and she had a look that promised pain on her face.

“We were worried about Tobin and rightly so! What the hell happened?” Allie was on a warpath, but she had no context to Tobin’s life before she met her at the beginning of the school year. The others did and didn’t know how to respond.

“Allie. You need to calm down.” Christen said slowly.

“CALM DOWN?! ARE YOU JOKING?! HAVE YOU SEEN HER FUCKING BACK?!”

“YES!” Christen exploded momentarily which made everyone take a step back. “I have. But yelling about it won’t help anybody.”

Allie had tears in her eyes as she looked over Christens shoulder to find Tobin was stock still. “Tobin?” She took a step towards the teen, but Ash moved to intercept her.

“I wouldn’t Allie.” Ash’s voice was quiet but the hand on her arm said more than anything else. Ali had tears in her eyes and couldn’t speak.

Christen had turned her back to the three when she saw they wouldn’t move closer. She had to help Tobin put her shirt back on because her eyes were still shut, and her body was as tight as a drawn bow. Once she was re-dressed, Christen spoke. “I’m going to call Perry and ask her to come here. If she thinks you need to get your shoulder looked at tonight, we go.” Christen took Tobin’s hand in hers and was relieved when she felt a firm grip on hers.

Christen slowly manoeuvred Tobin to sit on her bed, but the younger girl moved as far into the corner as she could and curled up into the smallest ball she could. She kept her eyes closed and refused to acknowledge anyone in the room once she was settled. “I’m going to go outside and call Perry.” Tobin didn’t acknowledge Christen had spoken to her. It hurt but Christen understood.

The striker quickly grabbed her phone and dragged the other three out of the room with her. Before they could say anything to her, Christen had called Perry and the guardian had answered.

_“Christen? What’s up?”_

“Hey Perry. Something happened yesterday. Tobin hurt her shoulder and –“

_“Which shoulder?” Christen could hear movement in the background._

“Her right one. But she is ref-“

_“Shit. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”_

Perry hung up and Christen was really concerned. “That was weird.”

“THAT WAS WEIRD?! Are you serious Press?” Allie was fuming. “The kid in there has scars all down her back and you think her sister hanging up on you was weird?”

The three other women didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t their place to tell Allie about Tobin’s past, even if they only knew a tiny amount.

Ali was still teary, but she was the calm one in that hallway. “Allie, I know you are upset. So are we. But we do not know the whole story and freaking out will just hurt Tobin. We need to stay calm because Tobin has shut down in there. Yelling and screaming may just bring back bad memories for her.”

“It already has. We just have to limit the damage if we go back in there. If you can’t stay calm Allie, don’t come back in. That will just hurt her.” Ash was blunt.

“What do we do then. Just sit there and pretend nothing is wrong?” Allie asked incredulously.

“If that is what she needs, yes.”

Allie exhaled deeply. “Fine. But I want answers.”

“We do too.” Christen huffed. “But we won’t get them here.”

* * *

Tobin was still curled up in the corner when they came back into the room. Christen went across and sat next to her. “Perry will be here soon.” Tobin didn’t respond verbally, but she reached a handout and Christen gave her one of hers. She held it tight and fiddled with her fingers while she waited. A few minutes later she moved her body across and rested her head in Christens lap. The striker stroked her fingers through Tobin’s hair and watched as the frown slowly lessened.

Ash, Allie and Ali sat on the other bed in silence. What could you say?

Less than ten minutes later there was a sharp knock on the door and then Perry was entering. She saw Tobin and Christen together and made a beeline across to them. “Tobin, what happened to you?”

The teen hid her face in Christens lap, refusing to answer. Perry sighed. “Tobin, if it is your bad shoulder, I need to take you to see Dr Andersen. You know this.”

“No hospitals!” It was muffled but it was heard everyone in the room.

Perry rolled her eyes. “I know you hate doctors and hospitals, but this isn’t a cold. Your shoulder is fragile, and Dr Andersen needs to check it.”

Tobin turned over gingerly and looked at her sister. “He probably won’t even be there tonight.”

“I called the hospital and they have called him in.” Perry smiled sadly. “I know you don’t want to and have a very good reason why, but you have too. You know this.”

Tobin sighed. “Every time I see him, I miss weeks of playing football.”

“Better than having to have another surgery because something has been knocked out of place.”

Christen helped Tobin sit up and the teen was pouting at her sister. “I don’t want to.”

“I know. But I will be with you and I am sure your friends will happily sit in the waiting room while he checks you out.”

Perry very quickly got four positive responses and she grinned at Tobin. “See? You will have cheerleaders at the hospital Tobin.”

Tobin glared at Perry. “I hate you right now.”

“You love me. Let’s get going.” Perry stood and Tobin gently made her way to her feet with Christen by her side. The four non-Heaths were in awe at Perry’s manoeuvring of Tobin’s emotions.

“How the fuck did you get her to agree with that?” Allie was astounded.

Tobin groaned. “Harry shut up.”

Perry looked shocked. “Harry huh?”

“It’s Allie, but she keeps calling me Harry since I saved her after she fell off a skateboard the other day.”

Perry looked at Tobin who was refusing to look at anywhere other than her feet. Her hand was still clasped with Christens. “You found your Harry?”

Tobin scowled. “Shut up. Let’s just go.” Tobin walked ahead and pulled Christen along with her. She was a bit stunned but followed along willingly.

Perry was left with a very confused Allie, Ali and Ash. She just smiled sadly. “I’ll explain when we get there. Tobin will almost definitely have to get an MRI so I can give you the barebones answers if you want. It isn’t something you should want to hear.”

“It’s Tobin. We want to help Tobin. If knowing what caused her pain in the past helps us help her now, we want to know.” Ali’s voice was steady.

“Good. She deserves people who won’t hurt her.” Perry exhaled. “This will be a long night.”

* * *

Perry was right.

When they got to the hospital, Dr Andersen was waiting for them. He looked like a kind old man and he greeted Tobin like a grandparent would. The teen just kept her eyes on the floor and stayed behind Allie and Christen.

He took Perry and Tobin into an examination room and left Christen, Allie, Ash, and Ali in the waiting room. Tobin looked as though she was going to ask Christen to join them, but she didn’t.

After 20 minutes, the three left the examination room. Perry and Dr Andersen both looked concerned but slightly amused while Tobin looked pissed. Perry came and sat with the four younger women while Tobin followed the doctor towards the MRI. She hated being alone in hospitals, but no one was allowed back with her for an MRI. When she was younger it had been a real fight and occasionally sedatives had been needed but now, she was just grumpy as she dragged her feet.

Perry through her head back and huffed. “She seriously skateboarded into a door?”

“That’s all she told you?” Ash asked incredulously.

Perry shook her head. “She told me the whole story. I did warn you about caffeine.”

“That’s on me.” Allie put her hand up and owned it. “I had no idea what a ‘Tobi watch’ was and found her passed out on the floor. I figured some caffeine and food would help.”

“It’s not your fault Allie.” Perry smiled. “She has to learn her limits.”

Ali piped up. “Can you explain now? I don’t want to rush you, but I’m really concerned.”

The mood dropped and Perry nodded. “What do you want to know?”

“Whatever you think is relevant.” Ali looked at the floor. “We uh, we saw her back.”

Perry sighed. “Crap. Okay. I am assuming you all know I raised Tobin since she was six?” Perry got four head nods. “What do you know other than that?”

Ash was the one who spoke. “Only that your family died in a car accident. She hasn’t said much else except to rave about you.”

Perry nodded. “Right. So, you know basically what was in that article about her before the Olympics?”

“Yea. I guess so. Nothing before she came to live with you at least.” Ash said.

“Well, the accident happened when Tobin was four. And we were in the van too.” The four gasped. “We were the only survivors. It was a drunk truck driver versus a minivan. We didn’t really stand a chance.”

“Tobin and I survived because we sat in the back of the van. I was 16 and in charge of keeping Tobin entertained, and that basically meant getting her to teach me different things. Katie was 14 and she kept an eye on Jeff who was three and usually fell straight asleep as soon as he got in the car. We were on a long drive home from Katie’s tennis tournament. It was late. She and Jeff had fallen asleep as soon as the minivan started driving. Tobin was hyped after watching Katie win and had been re-living the match in the back seat. She had thrown her arm up to show how Katie had hit the ace to win the match when the truck took out the van from the front. Spun off the road into a gutter.”

“The van was basically destroyed. The roof was ripped off and I could see the trees and the stars from my seat. I was fine. A few cuts and bruises but overall, I was fine. Tobin on the other hand. She was pinned to her seat by a piece of the roof. It had gone straight through the top of her shoulder because she had thrown her arm up for the ace. She was screaming. She was basically impaled.” Perry shook her head and wiped her eyes quickly. “The paramedics got her out and to the hospital. Four surgeries over a week and her shoulder was looking good. It would take time and there would be some limits and struggles but it would be okay. She was actually right-handed as a kid. That changed really quick. She didn’t have the fine motor-control or feeling in her hand. Her left hand became her dominant one by necessity.”

Perry stopped and took a few breaths. She looked pained and Ali could see it. She put her hand on the older Heath’s shoulder as a sign of silent support.

“Because I wasn’t 18, I couldn’t take custody of her. I got sent to a halfway home, put my head down so I could get a full college scholarship and then I’d be able to take Tobin with me. I wouldn’t get custody of her until just after she turned six and I’d finished my senior year. Two years she was without me.”

“The first home she was at was lovely. The lady was a nurse and she helped Tobin with her shoulder and got it moving pretty well. The man was an engineer. I was able to visit, and Tobin honestly did well there. They helped her learn and she was thriving. They understood her brain. However, after 10 months, she was moved on because she had healed enough that she didn’t need the nurse to be with her consistently and another kid was in a similar situation that Tobin was in when she first got there. That’s when it went to shit.”

“Tobin was at the next home for nine months. I wasn’t allowed to visit or call. I had to sneak out and see her early in the mornings or late at night." Perry breathed shakily.

"In those nine months, she went to hospital 8 times, reinjured her shoulder constantly and broke her collarbone, ribs and elbow. The bastard was a doctor.” Perry spat the word out. “He knew how to hurt her and make it look like a kid had had an accident. If she said anything to the doctors at his hospital, the guy just brushed it off and she got punished when she got home. He was their colleague and she was a kid."

Perry wiped her eyes and shook her head. "Tobin has 16 scars on her back. Each one coincides with each time she said something to someone he didn’t like. A teacher, a doctor, a nurse, a parent at school. And 16 times someone believed the rich doctor over the child.”

“But Tobin is stubborn, and a fighter and the strongest person I know. Because she never stopped trying to help herself, even if it hurt her because she knew one day, someone would believe her."

"The seventeenth time Tobin said something, it was to the teenage girl next door. The bastard had splashed her with boiling water on her bad shoulder after she had asked for some milk. She ran out crying in pain but as silent as she could. Tobin saw the teen next door was getting of the bus from school. Tobin bolted straight to her and hid behind her. She took her inside and hid her from the bastard when he came knocking. When her mum got home from work, she coaxed Tobin out from where she was hidden in the closet and got her to tell her everything. Her name was Harriet. But Tobin called her Harry.”

Allie inhaled sharply but didn’t interrupt.

“The mum was a cop. Within an hour of her coming home, he had been arrested because she believed Tobin. She took her to a different hospital, and it was all documented properly. Apparently, the guy had been fudging the records on Tobin to hide his tracks at the hospital. Tobin had to have another couple surgeries to fix her shoulder, and it will never be okay.”

“I was called to the hospital and Tobin had just gotten out of surgery. She was shaking in fear. She was terrified of the room, the noises, the people because every time she had been there before she had been hurt. When she saw me, she just burst into tears and I laid down next to her in the bed. She didn’t say anything, just crawled onto my chest and sobbed.”

“Once she had calmed down slightly, Harriet and her Mum, Julie, came in. She offered to take Tobin in until I could take custody of her when I finished school. I was hesitant but I didn’t have much of a say. Tobin just said that ‘her Harry would protect her’ and that I didn't have to worry.” Perry chuckled but quickly sobered. "I always worried." She looked at each of four women and saw horror, understanding and pain in their eyes.

“She lived with ‘her Harry’ and Julie for six months. Then we moved from Jersey to North Carolina because I got a scholarship here. She changed schools and she started skipping grades like crazy. She started playing soccer and loved it. She was happy and it showed in everything she did.”

“Tobin has been through hell. Her shoulder is a mess, her back is scarred and mentally she has had troubles. She has an eidetic memory. She remembers every, single, fucking thing that bastard did and how it felt. She had to testify to get him put away. Just being here hurts her. Dr Andersen is the only doctor she will see. I don’t know what the hell I will do when he retires or moves away. Or when Tobin moves away.”

The five women were silent. Ash looked green, Allie looked murderous, Ali was sitting forward with her head in her hands while Christen was wiping away silent tears. Perry knew they were devastated.

“Tobin won’t want your pity. But when she goes to the other room to change, or flinches when someone spooks her, this is why. When she refuses to go see the physio or doctor, this is why. When she refuses to sleep, it’s because she doesn’t want to relive nine months of hell. Don’t ask her about it, don’t bring it up unless she does. She’ll know that you know, I’ll tell her that, but she probably won’t talk about it.”

They all nodded their acceptance of that and sat in silence. They had a lot to think about.

* * *

Tobin came back from the MRI with a frown and the shakes. She sat herself down in between Perry and Christen with a huff. “He said he’d check the scans and come back in five.”

Perry put her arm around Tobin and kissed her temple while Christen just took a hold of her hand on instinct. Perry’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but she didn’t say anything. She did see the three other women roll their eyes and grin at the sight. She took note of the handholding but would wait to talk to her sister about it.

Dr Andersen came out ten minutes later with a grin. “You’re lucky Tobin. No breaks, no shifts of the plates, no nerves pinched or caught. At least this time. I do think you dislocated it and it popped back in considering all the bruising and swelling, but everything is in line for now. The scar tissue isn’t impinging on anything so it doesn’t look like you will need a clean out soon either. A lot of bruising and swelling, but ice and some anti-inflammatories will help with that. And so will wearing a sling for two weeks.”

“No.”

Dr Andersen smiled tightly. “Tobin…”

“I said no. I don’t want to have something else that labels me as a freak.”

“If you don’t wear it, you could seriously end up needing surgery sooner than necessary because you have overused it. Yes, you will miss some soccer for a bit, but you will come back okay in a few weeks. Your shoulder is practically made of glass Tobin. You need to protect it.”

Tobin shook her head in defiance and Perry sighed. “Tobin. You know you need it.”

“I can’t live with one arm.” Tobin stated stubbornly.

“If you don’t live with one arm for two weeks, you may have to live with one arm for months after surgery.”

Tobin huffed and Christen had had enough. She couldn’t watch her argue about something that she knew was good for her. “Tobi, think about this.”

“I am. I’m not wearing it.”

Christen rolled her eyes and stood. She pulled Tobin too her feet and dragged her to the corner. “Excuse us.” She said over her shoulder.

Once she and Tobin had some privacy, Christen spoke. “Why are you fighting this? And don’t give me some bullshit excuse about not needing it. You know you need it because you can barely move it as is. So why are you fighting this?”

Tobin could tell that Christen was worried, upset and exhausted. She wasn’t messing around. “I don’t want people to see me as weak. Everyone sees me as a kid as it is. Now I was stupid enough to hurt myself skateboarding after getting high as fuck? No way. I’m not dealing with the bullshit.”

Christen was incredulous. “Please tell me your joking?”

Tobin looked confused. “No. Why?”

“Tobin, everyone sees you as strong. Sure, they see you as a kid, but that’s because they want to look after you. You’re the one person they can protect. If anyone says shit about you, everyone you have ever met would back you. They will think you are weak, and very fucking stupid, if you don’t use that sling. Trying to be tough is stupid. Accepting help when you need it is smart and mature. You don’t want them to see you as a kid, take the sling and get better.”

Tobin opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. Christen powered on. “If you need help, you have me, you have Ash, you have Ali, Allie, Yael, Whit, hell Anson will help you. We won’t think you are weak for needing help. We will think you are stupid for not taking it.”

Tobin hung her head. “I hate being seen as different. This makes me stand out even more.”

Christen put her fingers under Tobin’s chin and lifted it so she looked her right in the eye. “Being different isn’t a bad thing. If you need help, I’ll help you. I’m here for you. I care about you getting better. If wearing that sling makes you better, do it. If you don’t want to do it for you, do it for me. Because I don’t want to see you in pain. That will hurt me. Seeing you in pain will hurt all of us. Seeing you in a sling for two weeks and then back at soccer won’t.”

Tobin could see the honesty and clear concern for her wellbeing in Christens eyes. “Okay. But I’ll complain the whole time.”

Christen grinned and nodded. “I can deal with that.” She wrapped her girlfriend of less than a day up in a hug and exhaled into her shoulder. “You think your sister has realised somethings up?”

“Oh yeah. She is good at reading people. Between her and the other three, we are screwed.”

“Let’s hope they give us a bit of time.” Christen pulled back and walked Tobin back across to the group.

Tobin looked at the doctor and sighed. “Where’s the sling?”

Dr Andersen threw his head back and laughed loudly. “I haven’t seen you change your mind that quickly ever. Your friend must be a miracle worker.”

Tobin blushed a bit. “Yeah. I guess she is.” She walked across to the doctor and they watched as Tobin allowed the doctor to help her get settled in the sling.

Dr Andersen gave her some final instructions about not overusing it, icing it as often as possible and ensuring she rested before the group left. Tobin stuck close to Christen, which didn’t go unnoticed by everyone.

* * *

The group piled into the SUV that Perry drove. Tobin sat in the middle between Christen and Allie, with her head on the formers shoulder. It was a quiet drive, but Allie wasn’t a patient person and ever since she had heard Tobin’s history, she was itching to ask Tobin a question.

“Why do you call me Harry? You barely know me.” It was quiet, but the whole car heard it.

Tobin sighed but didn’t move. “You remind me of her. You look like her a bit and you have the same attitude. The 'don't fuck with me or mine' thing. Harry is a protector, someone who will fight anyone to protect me, who would go to the end of the earth to help someone they didn’t know. You were always stopping people from teasing me, even if it was in jest, because you could see it upset me. You picked me up and carried me forward. You bought me food just because. You told Anson to back off when I wasn't feeling well and was riding my ass all session for being out of it. You got a yellow card taking out that girl who elbowed me in the ribs. You protect me. But you also care. You barely even knew me, and you would do whatever you could to protect me. You’re my Harry.”

“I’m proud to be your Harry.” Allie was tearing up and leant across to give the young Junior a quick hug while being careful of her shoulder. “But you’re still Harry.”

Tobin chuckled. “No. It’s all you Harry.”

Ash groaned from the front seat. “Is this thing going to have a super sweet meaning but also be a joke where you both get called Harry? Cause that’s going to be annoying.”

Tobin and Allie looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Yes.” They said in unison, which cause the whole car to laugh when Ash facepalmed.

* * *

When they got back to the dorm room, Tobin quickly took her clothes into the bathroom to change, refusing any help. They all just rolled their eyes but didn’t say anything when she came back, hat in hand, and asked for help. Perry went with her and helped her baby sister get changed.

“How much did you tell them?” Tobin asked as Perry helped her manoeuvre the shirt over her head.

“Most of it. Not all the details, but they know about the accident, your shoulder and some of the foster care stuff. Not exactly what that bastard did, but enough to give them a pretty clear picture.”

Tobin sighed. “Okay.”

“You’re not mad?” Perry expected her to blow.

“They saw my back. It's a mess. I figured they would ask. It wouldn’t be fair to ask you to lie to them.”

Once Tobin was dressed in her pyjamas, Perry put her hands on either side of her baby sisters face. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You were so strong Tobin. You survived so much.”

Tobin just shrugged with her good shoulder. “It isn’t that easy. It comes back to me at the worst times.”

“I know. But you have four people out there who won’t run away if you want to lean on them. They have your back, always.”

Tobin nodded. “Just do me a favour?”

“Anything.” Perry said.

“I don't think I want anyone else to know. Can you withdraw the consent from the National Team and UNC about getting treatment without you there? It gives me almost 8 months to get my head around it. I feel vulnerable and weak and I need time. I know it means you have to come every time I hurt something, but I don't want them to find out accidently like today.” Tobin was deadly serious.

Perry nodded. “Okay. I'll do that when I get home. You know this doesn’t make you weak.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that I remember everything he did. That I can’t handle people touching me half the time. He fucked me up and I need to process that again now that they know.”

“You aren’t fucked up. That bastard is six feet under now and you are living your life the way you want to.” Perry pulled her kid sister in for hug. “It’ll be okay kid.” She let go after a good minute and then grinned evilly trying to lighten the mood. “So, what’s happening with you and Christen?”

Tobin flushed bright red and her eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Perry just chuckled. “It’s okay. You can talk to me whenever you need to though, you know that right?” Tobin muttered a very low “yes” and Perry grinned. “Good. Just answer me one thing. Are you happy?”

Tobin got a stupid dopey grin on her face and nodded so fast her glasses fell off her face. Perry burst out laughing as she knelt to pick the glasses up and then led her sister out into her room.

Tobin and Perry came out of the bathroom with grins on both of their faces and the four women in the room started smiling at the sight. Tobin bounded over to Christens bed and sat next to her with a chuckle. The striker just nudged her, and they grinned stupidly at each other for a bit before there attention was directed elsewhere.

Perry was grabbing her bag and getting ready to leave, but stopped short when she saw Ali was in Tobin’s bed and Tobin was looking pretty cosy in with Christen. “You give your bed up Tobin?”

The teen flushed a bit but nodded. “Yeah. Ali needed a bed to crash in so I’m sleeping in Christens with her.”

Perry cocked her eyebrow at her little sister, unconvinced. “Really?”

Tobin nodded. “Ali kicks in her sleep. Christen doesn’t.”

Perry saw Ali and Ash share a significant look but let it go. She knew her sister was lying, and she thought she know why. “Alright then. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can organise when to talk to the school. AND I will call Ash or Christen to check if you are doing what you are meant too. No heroes Tobin.”

Tobin nodded and for the second time in that very long day repeated, “No heroes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right... don't hate me. It is all in the past and everything is fine now!
> 
> I didn't respond to any comments because I didnt want to accidently spoil something for anyone. So I read them and loved them and I feel like you guys are going to have some opinions - let me know. Even if you hate it. Just be nice.
> 
> Now, if I break this next promise, you are all free to yell at me as much as you want. Because I won't be posting for at least 10 days. I will try and respond to comments, but I have an exam and I need to study so bad. This is why this chapter jumped the queue. It was on a cliff and I didnt want to leave it for over two weeks. It was a big fucking cliff
> 
> If I do post an update, I've been bad and feel free to tell me to go study. 6 months left of uni and I am soooo over it.
> 
> love you all. don't flame me, wish me luck and ttyl!  
ellaaa25xoxo


	9. Nonna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin hates shoes and takes Ali out for dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I survived, i'm exhausted but the exam is done. Thank you for all your well wishes. Should know the results in a week so fingers crossed!
> 
> This was half finished yesterday but i almost doubled the length of it because it didnt cover enough for me. So it is basically two chapters worth 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Christen and Ali were trying to hide their giggles the next morning. Tobin may be a person who loves routine and always got up at the same time, but that did not mean she a morning person. Add in the fact she couldn’t use her right arm, her adorable (according to Christen) pout was out in full force.

Tobin had blushed crimson when Christen had offered her help in changing that morning and her jaw had dropped. “Ah-ah no-o, wh-wh-wh… Ali?” Tobin looked across at her friend for help. Ali just rolled her eyes and pushed the teen gently into the bathroom, muttering something about being useless and closed the door. Christen just grinned, very aware of why Tobin had reacted that way.

The teen came out, still blushing but changed for class. She was only missing her shoes.

Tobin sat on her bed and started to slip on her slides. Christen just rolled her eyes and asked, “Really?”

Tobin paused, confused. “What?”

“You trip over flat surfaces unless you have football at your feet. Do you really think wearing slides is a good idea? Also, it’s freezing out there!”

Ali was sitting quietly watching the pair with a grin. Tobin still couldn’t figure out what she was doing wrong.

“What’s your point?”

Christens just closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “You should wear shoes Tobin.”

Tobin shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Tobin, Christens right. About the cold at least. You need shoes.” Ali could see that Tobin was going to fight Christen on it and it would be so stupid she just had to step in. Tobin looked at the older footballer with a question in her eyes. Ali continued on. “It’s just shoes Tobin.”

Tobin just frowned before she stood and walked out the door. Christen and Ali looked at each other horribly confused. “What the hell?” Ali asked.

Before Christen could respond, Tobin came back with a still sleepy Ash. “What the hell is going on, Tobin?”

“Tell them I don’t need shoes.” Tobin demanded of the goalkeeper.

Ash, still half asleep just shrugged. “Kid Wonder doesn’t need shoes. Can I leave?”

Tobin, with a look of triumph, sat back down and picked her slides up. Christen just went across and slapped them out of her hand. “HEY!” Tobin exclaimed.

Christen ignored her and grabbed socks and shoes from beside the bed and put them next to Tobin. “I’m not having you end up at the hospital because you slipped in the slides when you couldn’t feel your feet. Stop being stubborn and wear the freaking shoes.”

Tobin went to respond but Christen had a look her face that had her pausing. Ali had moved next to Ash and they were watching with bated breath. “Is this sexual tension?” Ash whispered before she caught an elbow to the ribs. “Ow. Jesus woman.”

Ali rolled her eyes. “Grow up.”

Tobin eventually hung her head. “I can’t.”

Christen cocked her head to the side, confused. “What?”

“I can’t put my shoes on with one hand. I can’t get them done up and I trip on the laces.” Tobin explained. She looked ashamed.

Christen swore under her breath before turning to Ali and Ash. “Can you go get us some breakfast please?”

Ash just started complaining but Ali could see that something was happening. She pulled the goalkeeper out the door and closed it behind her.

Christen turned back to Tobin with a sigh. “How long is it going to take you to realise that I do not care if you need to ask me for help? You have asked me to restring curtains, change the lightbulbs and all this other stuff. But you have never asked me to help you do something for you. I don’t care if you need me to do your shoelaces up. It doesn’t make me think less of you.”

“All that stuff I needed help with. I can’t move my desk by myself. They are just shoelaces. I can do shoelaces up.” Tobin was stubborn.

“You can’t right now. And that’s okay. You just have to realise we aren’t going to see you any differently.” Christen leant forward and kissed the injured teen. “I know it’s hard to ask for help, but there is no judgement here.”

“It’s different.” Tobin kept her head down. “Because it’s you. Ali or Ash I won’t care, they are like Perry, but I don’t want you to have to do this for me. I like that you don’t see me as someone you haven’t to fix and help. You let me do it. I don’t want you to see me weaker than you already have. I don’t know what my sister told you, but I know you know some shit. I don’t want you to see me as a broken kid who can’t put her shoes on.”

Christen grabbed the socks and shoes and sat on the floor to fiddle with the shoes. “When I was 19, I broke my elbow. I had no use of my whole right arm for eight weeks.” Christen voice was quiet and she methodically put Tobin’s socks on for her. “My roommate at Stanford, my best friend, had to help me get changed, wash my hair, even shave my legs because I couldn’t reach a certain spot and it drove me nuts. And every morning she helped me put shoes and socks on, even if she didn’t have to be up for class for another couple hours. She did this thing where she tied them tight enough I didn’t fall out but loose enough I could slip them on and off if I needed to. She didn’t do it because she thought I was weak, or because I couldn’t wear other shoes. She did it so I was safe, and I didn’t hurt myself again.”

Christen had finished tying the shoes and then put them next to Tobin’ socked feet. She looked up at the girl she was falling for. “I don’t see you as weak. You are honestly the strongest person I have ever met. But I don’t want to see you hurt because I care about you. No other reason. So, if I have to fix all your shoes to ensure you can just slip into them but not out of them, I will.”

Tobin tried to put her feet in the shoes and smiled slightly when they fit well. “Thanks Chris.”

“Your welcome, but don’t be an idiot again please.” Christen joked.

“That’s honestly my default setting. Perry says I have no common sense. Book smarts and soccer smarts. No street smarts.” Tobin grinned before she got serious. “I haven’t heard you talk about anyone back at Stanford before. Do you miss them?”

“Some of them. A few players on the soccer team and my roommate. I speak to her almost daily via text. She isn’t happy I transferred.”

“What’s her name? Maybe I know her?” Tobin asks, genuinely interested in Christens friends.

Christen grinned widely. “You do. She fell off the bed laughing when I told her you were going to be my roommate here. Apparently you guys roomed together at some junior camps. You were the baby of the camp. She said we would be perfect roommates.”

Tobin frowned and thought back to her time at the camps. She had cycled through roommates more than the others, but one girl would volunteer to room with her. She would say they could be bouncy together. “Kelley?” Tobin asked, astounded.

Christen nodded. “She says hello by the way. And she is hoping to catch up when Stanford plays here in early November.”

“Rewind for a second. You trusted Kelley O’Hara near you with a razor blade?” Tobin’s eyes were wide. “And she didn’t try to put conditioner in your hair before the shampoo? Or tie your shoelaces together?”

Christen burst out laughing. “Yes, I trusted her. We made a deal early on to be good roommates and not prank the other. Why? Did she do that to you?”

Tobin shook her head vividly. “She used to help me with my chemistry homework. No one else was safe. She swapped Alex Morgan’s shampoo and conditioner with Alyssa Naeher’s, and the labels on the bottles so they put them on backwards. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong for a week!”

“That sounds like Kelley. You didn’t help her with the pranking?” Christen asked suspiciously.

Tobin blushed but before she could respond, Ali and Ash came back with breakfast. The goalkeeper looked happier with coffee in her hand. “Tobin, since you can’t train, I figured we could go out for dinner while these guys do. You can show me that pizza place you love.” Ali smiled at the teen who now had shoes on. “But I want to know why you are blushing first.” Ali’s smile turned evil.

Tobin looked between the three older girls before she grinned sheepishly. “I may have helped someone pull off some pranks at youth camps.”

Ali and Ash’s jaws dropped in shock. “What did you do?”

Tobin shrugged. “Which time?”

Ash bounced across and sat next to Tobin on the bed. “The best one you can think of.”

Tobin just ducked her head, cheeks aflame. “We hacked into the speakers at the training ground to play the Harry Potter theme on repeat. They couldn’t turn it off for over an hour. Even then they had to shut down the whole stadiums power and when they turned it back on it kept playing.”

Ash fell backwards laughing heartily while Christen was wiping away tears of joy. Ali was gobsmacked. “But everyone knows you love Harry Potter Tobin. How did they not know it was you?”

Tobin shrugged. “I was the nerdy kid who just hung in the background. They assumed someone was trying to set me up. We set off elephants toothpaste in the showers as well. The squeals were so loud.”

The three just fell back laughing while Tobin grinned, proud of herself. “I’m sure Kelley has other stories.”

Christen sat up and gasped. “She will have photos!”

Tobin’s eyes went wide. “No photos! I was like 12 and gangly! Do not ask her for photos! She has braces photos that aren’t meant to see the light of day!”

Christen scrambled up and grabbed her phone but Tobin launched herself after her with no thought of her shoulder. Thankfully, Ali grabbed her waist and held her back to stop her from hurting herself, which gave Christen time to send the message. The medical student turned around with a victorious grin. Tobin pouted.

Christen just shrugged. “I’m not even sorry. Besides, I’m sure Perry would show me photos of you if I asked.”

“My sister loves you more than me already. That isn’t fair.” Tobin had a slight grin as she said it.

“I’m sure my parents will love you more than me when you meet them. It’s hard not to fall in love with you.” Christens eyes went wide at that statement. “I uh, I mean-“

Ash jumped in to help her out. “Everyone who meets Tobin automatically thinks she is the shit.”

“Yea. Exactly. Thanks Ash.”

Tobin was still sitting in Ali’s lap when her phone buzzed, signalling it was time to get to class. “Well, at least I have pizza to look forward too after class. You guys have to train.” Tobin looked giddy at the thought of pizza with Ali as she stood up. She grabbed her bag and put it on her good shoulder. “I’ll see you beforehand though, right Chris?” The teen gave her a bright smile.

“Always. I should be here when you get back from class. Maybe with a photo of young Tobin!”

Tobin just rolled her eyes. “I still think you letting Kelley O’Hara near you with a razor blade is crazier than letting her take a photo of me wearing braces.”

“Photos last longer than a shaving cut. Have fun.” Christen grinned widely.

Tobin rolled her eyes as she left. As the door closed behind her, Ash turned towards Christen. “’_It’s not hard to fall in love with you_.’ Really Christen? Could you be any more obvious? You may as well have a boombox and stand next to her bed with it, but I doubt Tobin would get the reference.”

“Oh shut up.” Christen blushed, thankful they had no idea that there had been some progress.

Ali just smiled. “I’ll talk to her at dinner tonight. I am sure she will let something loose she isn’t meant to.”

As Ash showed her happiness at that, Christens eyes went wide momentarily. Tobin would almost certainly spill the beans and the rest of Ali’s stay would be full of inuendo and light teasing. Especially the cuddling. Tobin liked wrapping her up like a Christmas present. Before she started spiralling and imagining the worst, she paused and looked at Ali. The defender wouldn’t do anything that would make them, especially Tobin, uncomfortable. It wasn’t in her nature.

Christens phone buzzed she was disappointed to see it was her alarm telling her to head to class, not a photo of a young Tobin. She quickly said goodbye to the older girls, uncaring she was leaving them in her room without either her or Tobin there. Ali would keep Ash in line. As she was walking, she texted Perry on instinct.

_C- ‘Hey Perry, has Tobin always hated people helping her out?’_

She got a texted back quickly.

_P- ‘Oh yeah. She lets me but doesn’t really want anyone else see her struggling. I should have warned you. I’m sorry. She is a horrible patient.’_

_C- ‘It’s all fine now. We got her shoes on eventually. And found out we have a mutual friend. I’ve asked for pictures of young Tobin, much to her disgust.’_

_P- ‘That sounds like my sister. If Tobin counts her as a friend, or even someone she likes, they must be special. I’m going to send you the photo I have of Tobin on my desk. It was her first Halloween back with me. She was 6. It’s a favourite of mine.’_

Christen beamed when she saw a photo of Tobin dressed as Batman. The little moustache was a great touch.

_‘If I make that my phone screen saver, do you think she will notice?’_

_‘My sister can’t look at you without getting distracted and drooling, so no.’_

Christen blushed before she thanked the older Heath and hustled to class. “Does everyone know?” She asked herself.

(The answer was yes. Everyone knew something.)

* * *

“Just park here.”

Ali turned and found herself in front of a small pizza shop. It looked like a cosy little place to eat. “This is the best place for pizza?”

Tobin nodded before jumping out of the car. Ali joined her and they walked across the road together. “It was one of the first places Perry brought me when we moved here when she started college.”

Ali pushed the door open and smiled at the old lady in front of her. Before she could say anything, Tobin came in behind her. The old lady simply beamed. “Tobin!” She moved forward quicker than one would think and wrapped the teen up in a strong but careful hug. She pulled back and put her hands on either side of her face. “You haven’t come to see me in months!”

Tobin grinned sheepishly. “Sorry Mrs Esposito.”

Tobin got a light whack to the back of the head. “How many times have I told you? It’s Nonna to you.”

“I think we are at about 400.” Tobin beamed before she stood back and gestured to the footballer beside her. “This is my friend, Ali.’

“Nice to meet you Mrs Esposito. Tobin tells me this is the best place for pizza.” Ali smiled kindly at the old lady.

“Ah. The footballing big sister of Tobin. Perry has told me about you. It is an honour to meet you. You are good to this one.” Mrs Esposito hugged the defender, much to her shock. When she pulled back, she smiled. “Anyone who is a friend of Tobin’s is welcome here. Tobin can take you to her regular table. I will be over in a few minutes.”

The old lady went back to her desk and Tobin walked Ali over to a tiny table in the corner. It would just fit two people but it blocked out a lot of noise.

“Nonna?” Ali asked.

“She has told me to call her that since my 7th birthday. But she will always be Mrs Esposito, especially since it annoys her. It’s our little game.”

“This place must mean a lot to you.” Ali mused, not wanting to pry but still wanting some information.

Tobin shrugged. “It is almost another home to me.”

Before Ali could respond, Nonna returned with a menu in her hand. “Now, I have this because your friend here might what to pick what she wants. Or she can have the ‘Tobin Special’. It is up to you.”

Ali as slightly taken aback but considering the blush on Tobin’s cheeks, she knew what her response would be. “I’ll definitely be having the ‘Tobin Special’.”

Nonna beamed. “Good. It won’t be long.” She patted Tobin on the cheek gently before wandering away.

Ali looked at Tobin with a raised eyebrow. “You going to tell me what’s going on here, or are you going to make me pry it out of you?”

Tobin smiled. “When we first moved here, Perry and I had to live on campus in one of the family apartments. I went to the school closest to college and UNC was great at helping Perry organise everything so she could get me to school, sport, and be home at a reasonable hour. They were honestly amazing. However, I was a very particular child. And Perry was pulling her hair out half the time trying to get me to do stuff in timely fashion, not on ‘Tobin Time’ as she called it. One of the struggles was food. I was, and still am honestly, a picky eater. I didn’t want my food to touch, I only wanted plain food. Sandwiches with peanut butter on them had to be cut diagonally but PB&Js were cut in half. I liked being able to have a choice on how I did stuff even if it took forever, not be forced into doing it a certain way and then punished for doing it my way.”

Tobin shook of the memory before continuing. “One night, maybe two months after Perry started college, I chucked a massive tantrum. She had cooked chicken and veges and one of the peas was touching the carrots. I pushed it away and refused to eat it, so she picked me up, put me in the car and drove around. She told me to point to where I wanted to eat. It was about 45 minutes later and I pointed out this place. When we got in here, it was loud, and I was close to bursting into tears again. Then Mrs Esposito led us to this table and it was suddenly quiet. She sat me in the corner so I could see everything, and no one could sneak up behind me. It’s like she knew. She knelt down and asked me what I wanted, I told her and in ten minutes I had it. I devoured it and then passed out from exhaustion into the plate.”

Ali chuckled at that and Tobin shrugged. “We would come back every week, sometimes twice a week, and Mrs Esposito would always have this table free and she would ask if I wanted the Tobin Special. I have had the same thing every time.”

“That’s amazing.” Ali’s heart felt lighter after the story. “So what’s the Tobin Special?”

Tobin blushed scarlet but before she could respond, Nonna came back. “Two Tobin Specials!” The kind old lady placed two very cheesy pizza’s down in front of them and two glasses of chocolate milk. Ali beamed.

“This is spectacular!”

Nonna grinned. “I agree. Enjoy.”

She left the two friends in peace and Ali looked at Tobin. “Never change Tobin.”

The teen nodded and then picked up her first pizza slice. “I’ll do my best.”

* * *

The pair spent an hour talking and laughing over their pizzas before Ali got serious all of a sudden. “Have you thought about what I said about Christen?”

Tobin nodded. “Yeah. I find it hard to get my words to line up the way I want them to, but I spoke to her a bit after you left yesterday but before dinner.”

“And?”

Tobin grinned a bit. “We said we would go at our pace.”

Ali beamed. “I am very proud of you. You two are adorable together.”

“We won’t say anything until we get more comfortable, and our families know, but you and Ash are my family. And you both helped me with figuring it out.”

“I’m glad you are taking it at your own pace. You don’t have to rush anything and talking will help ease your anxiety.” Ali said. “And you are my little sister now. You can’t get rid of me.”

Tobin nodded. “Yea. We both have our own little quirks to work out. But Chris could get blood out of a stone with the way she talks to people, so I don’t think communicating will be an issue. Patience might be though. I take weird routes to get stuff done.”

Ali just shrugged. “She knows that and has always said that she likes you for you. Just do you.”

Before Tobin could respond, Nonna came back. “Part two of the Tobin Special.” She put two ice cream sundaes down on the table with a smile.

“I didn’t know there was a part two.” Ali stated, confused but happy at the thought of ice cream.

Nonna chuckled. “She doesn’t get it all the time. It is a surprise.” She kissed the teen on the top of the head before she left.

Tobin was smiling softly at the sundae and Ali gave her a questioning look. Tobin elaborated. “I’ve had a lot of shoulder troubles and I’m clumsy so tripping over and getting hurt happens a lot. I get sundaes when I’m hurt or look like I need a pick me up. I got three in one night during finals my last year of high school. It’s Mrs Esposito’s way of telling me she sees, she cares and if I need her too, she will help me.”

“Does she know? About your past?” Ali asked softly.

“I think she suspects. When an 18 year old comes in with a 6 year old all the time and there is no other family, you know somethings up. She just lets me sit and be.” Tobin was quiet but happy.

Ali decided to change the subject before they got to far down the rabbit hole. “So, have you kissed her?”

Tobin choked on her ice cream and flushed, which cause Ali’s jaw to drop. “You did! You cheeky little minx. When were you going to tell me?!”

Tobin swallowed and cleared her throat before she responded. “When you were about to leave so you didn’t tease me about it?”

Ali narrowed her eyes. “Not a smart idea. Does Perry know about you two?”

“I think so? She asked if I was happy and that I could talk to her whenever I needed to.”

“Yeah, she knows.” Ali stated. “But you should probably tell her outright as well.”

Tobin shrugged. “I’ll talk to Chris about it. She has to tell her parents too.”

“Fair enough.”

The pair finished their sundaes before Nonna came back. Ali brought her wallet out for the bill but Nonna waved her away. Ali spluttered. “Mrs Esposito!”

“Your money is no good here. You look after our Tobin and that is payment enough.”

Ali was gobsmacked and Nonna took that as a sign to usher the pair out the door. Less of a fight that way. “You better not stay away for months this time Tobin.”

The teen nodded. “I promise. I’ll be back soon I’m sure.”

“Good.” The kind old lady hugged them both before she waved them away. “Travel safe and stay safe.”

“Bye Mrs Esposito.” Tobin called over her shoulder.

“IT’S NONNA!”

Tobin just laughed and led Ali across to the car. Once they were in, Tobin spoke. “Don’t worry. I left $30 in the tip jar.”

Ali felt a weight leave her shoulders. “Good. Thank you.”

“She never lets us pay. Every time it is a different excuse. But we always leave a big tip that easily covers the bill and the rest.”

Ali started the car and they began to drive back to campus. It was filled with quiet chatter and a few laughs.

Once they got back to campus, Ali parked but didn’t get out. “Tobin?”

“Yeah?” Tobin looked confused.

“I kick in my sleep?” Ali had a raised eyebrow and did her best to keep a stern expression.

Tobin started stuttering and trying to explain herself, but eventually just stopped when she saw she was digging herself a bigger hole. “Sorry?”

“Really?”

“I am!” Ali look of disbelief caused Tobin to slump. “Fine. I’m not. I get to sleep in the same bed as Christen. I’m not apologising for that.”

Ali rolled her eyes. “I know your not sorry. But now Christen believes something that isn’t true...”

Tobin turned and pulled out the puppy dog eyes. “Please don’t tell her! I will do anything!”

Ali just laughed. “I won’t tell her, and neither will Ash. One day it will come out though, so be ready for that.”

“Oh god. You’re going to bring this up at the worst possible, most embarrassing moment you can, aren’t you?” Tobin had blanched.

“Oh yea. I have a long memory kid. Christen will know you wanted to cuddle her so badly that you lied about me kicking in my sleep. I’ll just pick my moment.”

Tobin groaned. “I’m screwed.”

Ali just opened the door, cackling. Tobin got out slowly and Ali went across and put her arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry Tobin. I’m sure she is glad you lied about me kicking in my sleep as well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone loves our Tobin. And Ali called her on it. 
> 
> Should be back to updating the story that has been sitting the longest now. But I have a few weeks of a decent amount of spare time so hopefully i can crank out a fair few.
> 
> Love you all and your comments. I should start responding to them again now, unless its spoilery 
> 
> ellaaa25 xoxo


	10. Adios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ali is leaving but has a few big things happen before she does.  
Christen talks to her parents...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you all enjoy this. I really liked writing this one but I am sure there are mistakes. If there are big ones let me know.

Ali was going the next morning and unfortunately her full last day at UNC was a Tuesday. This meant Tobin was away the entire day and she was required at training again after class. She had a meeting with Perry and the doctors about her shoulder.

Originally, Tobin was going to let Ali sleep through the start of the day and try and be quiet while she got ready. However, because her arm was still unusable, the defender had been helping Tobin navigate the very hard activity of putting a shirt on. Ali just rolled out of bed pushed the teen lightly into the bathroom and shut the door. She could hear Christens chuckles from the other room.

“What are you going to do when I’m not here? Are you going to try and do it yourself or are you going to be brave and ask your very lovely girlfriend for help?”

“I’m trying not to think about it.” Tobin’s voice was muffled behind the shirt.

“She knows, and has seen, the same as me Tobin. You are going to have to let her help eventually.” Ali gently reminded Tobin of that fact as her head popped through the hole.

“I know. But she isn’t you, or Ash, or Perry. You guys are my sisters. She is my girlfriend. It is different.” Tobin said.

Ali conceded that point slightly. “Yes, but she was also the first one you trusted to show her this.” Ali gestured vaguely to her back. “She won’t care.”

“It hurts her to see it. I don’t want to hurt her.”

Ali’s eyes widened in realisation. “You’re trying to protect her.”

Tobin shrugged as best she could while she put the sling back on. “For as long as I can. Is that so wrong?”

“No Tobin.” Ali leant back against the wall with a sigh. “That’s very admirable.”

Tobin smiled at the ground, blushing slightly at the praise. “I know it won’t last, but even if I can spare her the pain for one more day, I will. I know I need help with this. And you guys have drummed it into my head that I am allowed to accept help, but as long as there is an alternative that allows Christen to not see my back, or my shoulder, I will take it. Even though I know come Thursday, it’ll break her heart.”

Ali nodded. “I’m proud of you Tobin.” Ali waited until the girl was looking her in the eyes before she continued. “I really am. In the 6 months I have known you, you have grown so much. You show the best parts of you. When you smile, the whole room lights up. And I know that the last 6 months have been huge, and an utter whirlwind and you probably felt shitty half the time, but you dealt with it well. So please believe me when I say, you will deal with Christen seeing you and you will cope with it.”

Tobin just nodded her understanding. “I should get to class. I’ll see you tonight after training.”

The teen turned and left the bathroom. She found Christen in their room with Tobin’s shoes next to her. She was smiling. “You shouldn’t slip out of these ones.”

Tobin smiled and went across to put them on. Christen suddenly froze. “Chris? You okay?”

“Last week when you got to training, you didn’t have any shoes on.” Christen stated.

Tobin nodded slowly. “I was a bit dishevelled, yes.”

“But where are they? They can’t have disappeared.” Christen said.

Tobin shrugged. “I probably kicked them off around campus. I’m sure they are long gone by now.” She leant across and kissed Christen on the cheek. “I’ll see you later.”

Tobin jumped up, grabbed her bag and was out the door before Christen could react. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and Ali was chuckling behind her. “Tobin is getting better at that stuff. I know you guys don’t want to say anything yet, but she can’t help showering you with love. It’s cute.”

Christen smiled. “Yeah. She is full of surprises.”

“I thought she would be useless at romance honestly. So far, better than I expected.”

Christen chuckled. “Me too. But she will put her own Tobin spin on it I am sure. We still haven’t had a proper first date yet either. Even if we have shared the same bed for over a week.”

Ali grinned knowingly. “I think Tobin has really liked that. She is going to try and sleep with you every night even after I’m gone.”

“I know. I don’t think I will complain too much about it to be honest. Having her close is comforting. I just hope that she doesn’t shut up her walls when you leave.” Christen laid back down to try and get some more sleep.

Ali was confused as she jumped in her bed. “What do you mean?”

Christen sighed. “Our first week as roommates, she spent most of the time out of the room to make sure I was comfortable. She doesn’t like me seeing her struggle and it is a bit of a fight to get her to accept my help. I think she is trying to protect me and make sure I’m happy. She will put me before herself and while it is sweet, sometimes she needs to be selfish. She asks you for help with her shirt, not me. She doesn’t want me to see it, and as much as it hurts, I get it. She is used to Perry seeing her back and she sees you like a big sister so that is fine. I’m not her sister. It’s different and the dynamic is different. Once you are gone, it will be interesting to see what happens. I hope she trusts me enough to help her.”

The pair were quiet after that. Christen had said her piece and Ali was mulling it over.

“It isn’t a trust thing.” Ali spoke five minutes later.

“What isn’t?”

“Tobin asking me for help with her shirt. It isn’t a trust thing. She doesn’t want to hurt you and if you see her scars, she thinks it will hurt you. She will go as long as possible without hurting you.” Ali explained briefly.

Christen just sighed. “It hurts me just knowing about it. Seeing it again won’t make much of a difference. The image is engrained in my mind. Besides, if this relationship of ours goes the way I hope, I am going to see it. It may be in months or even years, but I will see it.”

“Fair point. Just give her time. I think her whole world got turned upside down in the last week. She needs stability. You give her that. After I go, she will adjust again, and you will move forward.” Ali stated.

Christen nodded into her pillow. “Thanks Ali. I’m going to try and get some more sleep. I’m shattered from training and didn’t sleep well.”

Ali just smiled as the younger woman closed her eyes. The defender rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling, thinking about the two conversations she had just had. Both women were on a similar page, but didn’t have the full story. She tried to let it go and get some more rest when a thought popped into her mind which caused her to gasp. "KID!"

Christen jolted. “Are you okay?”

“Tobin is a kid!”

Christen was confused. “Okay?”

“She hasn’t been through the normal college stuff cause she is a kid!” Ali said again.

“What’s your point?”

“You said that if it took months or years, if your relationship developed the way you hoped, you would see her back all the time. But this is the thing. Does Tobin know that is where this could head? Does she know what happens?” Ali asked, slightly pale.

Christen just rolled her eyes. “We have barely started kissing Ali. Calm down.”

“But-“

“No. You need to chill.” Christen sat up and swung her legs out of bed. She wasn’t getting any extra sleep. “We have literally been together for a week. We haven’t discussed anything about except that I know she has no experience whatsoever. We will figure it out and we will talk about it. You do not need to worry about it.”

“But-“ Christen once again interrupted her.

“I think you need to let Tobin figure this bit out on her own. She is a smart cookie. If she doesn’t know something, she will look it up. She will talk to someone if she needs to. But that is a long way off. So relax and chill out. Because I don’t really want to be talking about my new girlfriend and our very new relationship and where it could potentially lead with one of her honourary big sisters. This isn’t a short-term thing. We are taking the long road.” Christen flopped down, frustrated.

Ali was still stunned. “I need to talk to Ash.” She stood and left the room quickly and Christen just groaned.

“Great. Another big sister who will be at me about my non-existent sex life. Fucking brilliant.”

* * *

Ash awoke to banging on her door. Luckily her roommate was already out at class. She stumbled to the door and yanked it open. Before she could say anything, a body pushed her back in the room and shut the door.

It was Ali.

“We have a problem.” Ali stated after she had shut the door.

Ash was stunned. “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Ali slumped to the floor. “Tobin has a girlfriend.”

“Yes. She did tell me this on the weekend. She was very happy and bouncing like she does. Why are you freaking out? It's Chris. The girl is pretty much in love with Tobin already.” Ash sat down on the floor across from the defender.

“She is only a kid who hasn’t been through all the normal social stuff most of us have. Does she have any idea what she is getting into?” Ali asked. “I think Christen is a great girl, I really do, but does Tobin have any idea where this kissing and handholding and cutesiness usually leads?”

Ali was looking straight at Ash when she asked, so she didn’t miss the blush that came up on her cheeks. “What? What do you know?”

“Tobin knows exactly where it is heading and that is all I am saying about the matter. Don’t panic, she knows what she is getting into.” Ash tried to shut the conversation down there.

“No. There is something else. What am I missing?” Ali asked and Ash groaned.

“I swore Tobin to secrecy about this. I am not talking about it. Ask her. I am not reliving this.” Ash stood and went to get back in bed, but Ali was quicker. She launched herself off the floor at onto Ash’s back.

“No! Tell me! This is new information I need to know!”

Ash stumbled and face planted onto the bed. Ali let her wriggle around so she was lying on her back, but didn’t move off her lap. “Tell me Ashlyn!”

Ash tried moving the girl off her, but Ali was strong. After a struggle she just collapsed back boneless. “You have to promise this never leaves this room. Tobin knows, I know, Heather O’Reilly knows, and Perry knows. That’s it!”

“Promise. Now tell me!” Ali demanded.

Ash sighed. “Tobin was barely 15 when she got here for preseason training and she was basically cast aside by half the team. She was guarded and private, barely saying two words to anyone if it wasn’t on the soccer field. She wasn’t given a roommate on campus, so we barely saw her if it wasn’t at soccer. She was in some of the older girls classes but the freshman ones she had basically skipped.”

“One of our last away games was at Florida, she was roomed with a senior. Her boyfriend went to that school. The senior pushed Tobin out of the room with nothing but the pyjamas she was wearing, pulled her boyfriend in and proceeded to have a very fun night while a 15-year-old wandered the halls of a dingy hotel.”

Ali looked disgusted and shook her head. “Who would do that to a 15 year old?”

Ash’s expression grew dark. “It doesn’t end well for her. Anyway, I was rooming with Heather and she had gone out to get some ice when she found Tobin sitting there, upset and exhausted. She brought her back to our room and we tried to find out what had happened. She wouldn’t say much, just huddled in the corner and buried her head in her knees. Heather went to Tobin’s room, heard exactly what was going down and came back fuming. She went and woke the coach while I tried to get Tobin to talk to me.”

“Tobin was upset at what had happened, but she was also confused as to why. She asked me to call her sister so she could talk to her. By the time I had grabbed my phone, Heather was back.”

“We listened as Perry explained to her everything. Tobin knew about sex, Perry had had that talk with her a few times, but she hadn’t put it together in that setting. Tobin was embarrassed to all hell that she had been pushed around so easily so this senior could get laid.”

“So believe me when I say, she knows where her relationship with Christen could head. Because after that phone call, Tobin crashed in my bed with me and finally decided to let me in. Which meant every single time she had a question about who was dating who, what sex positions were the best, how to figure out if she was gay, straight, bi or just Tobin, she came to me. And she still comes to me with them. Whatever questions she can think of. I have had to answer questions I never thought would come out of that girls mouth. I had to google some of the words she used cause her brain does weird shit, but she knows. Don’t stress about it. I’ve got her.”

Ali sat back on Ash’s quads. “You’re the one Tobin goes to for sex advice and questions?”

Ash nodded. “Yes. Don't sound so shocked. I am not ashamed of it. It just isn’t common knowledge. I think Perry might know, but Tobin comes to me because she doesn’t want to bug her sister or have her knowing some stuff. In the proper teenage way, she is basically hiding it from her.”

“What happened to that senior?”

“Kicked off the team, lost her scholarship and barely graduated. Even the players on the team who didn’t really like Tobin that much, turned on her.”

“Why did Tobin have so much trouble that first year?”

Ash sighed and sat up and put her arms around Ali’s waist. Ali was still in her lap. “She was young and immediately took a starting spot that some of the veterans thought they were entitled too. She was smarter than everyone else. She was small, quiet and hadn’t let anyone in. She was the perfect target for assholes.”

Ali frowned and Ash just shrugged. “She is okay now. Everyone on the team backs her and no one messes with her. That senior group were just horrendous.”

“I’m still going to worry about her.”

Ash grinned. “I know. You wouldn’t be Ali if you didn’t. But you will see her in like two weeks and you can get all the gossip then.”

“Promise me you will call me if something happens?” Ali asked.

“Is that the only time I’m allowed to call you?” Ash countered. “Because as much as I love Tobin, I don’t want to call you just to talk about her.”

Ali smiled softly. “I’d be happy to hear from you whenever possible.”

Ash smiled shyly. “I really want to kiss you. I have ever since I met you.”

“I’m going back to Germany after this next camp.” Ali said. “I will barely be in the States, let alone near North Carolina, for a long while.”

“I don’t care.” Ash said. “I can’t be the only one who felt this connection. I am willing to try if you are.”

“We barely know each other.” Ali said quietly.

“I know. But I know enough to know you are way to special to let go without trying. Besides, I’ve always wanted to travel the world and play football. Germany seems like a great place to start if I need it to be.”

Ali leant in and softly kissed the keeper. “Okay. You can call me.”

Ash smiled. “Brilliant.”

* * *

If Ash was happier than normal at training, no one mentioned it. Because they were all focused on the very tense, frustrated and upset Tobin Heath.

The injured superstar had just come out of the meeting with the medical staff, Anson and her sister looking like the world was against her. Anson looked unsettled, Perry resigned, and the team doctor was shattered.

Tobin walked away after the meeting and went to sit on the bleachers as the girls cooled down. Christen was concerned but couldn’t go and see her.

Once they were back in the changerooms, Anson called Christen, Allie and Ash into his office. They were surprised Perry and the team doctor were there.

“This isn’t going to be a long conversation. We just had a meeting and I was informed you three are the only ones on the team who know about Tobin’s history. Is this correct?” Anson got straight to the point.

The three nodded. “Yes coach.”

“Ok. Tobin wanted to rescind her medical consent for treatment without her sister being present. However, if something happens while we are on an away trip, we may not be able to wait to treat Tobin. She could break an ankle or pop a knee while we are in California and not be able to get home without being treated.” Anson took a deep breath. “We were able to get Tobin to allow Dr Andrews here to treat her, but only if one of you were with her. She didn’t allow him to look at her shoulder, but Perry has given Dr Andersen’s information to Dr Andrews so he can get a better idea of her history and what works treatment wise.”

Perry spoke next. “Tobin isn’t exactly happy with me for suggesting this, but she trusts you. So she agreed to it. Hopefully she doesn’t get injured and this never comes up, but it could. I will ask that one of you is always with her for treatment, even if it is just getting a calf massage or ice. If it is her shoulder, or anything to do with her back, she will probably do one of two things. Completely shut down and not talk to anyone, not let anyone treat her, touch her or examine her. Or she will allow Dr Andrews here to do a very brief assessment to see if she can get back home or to Dr Andersen.”

Dr Andrews spoke up. “I will do everything I can to ensure she is comfortable and happy. But one of you three being with her will go a long way.”

The three nodded their agreement and the coach smiled tightly. “I will let you and Miss Heath go. The doc and I have some stuff to talk about so this is done properly.”

The group of four left the office and quickly grabbed their gear before finding Tobin on the bleachers. She was fiddling with her phone and not looking up. Perry smiled at her. “I was thinking pizza for dinner.”

Tobin’s head shot up. “Really?”

Perry nodded. “I think it’s the right night for it. Ali is meeting us there.”

Tobin stood and walked down the stairs carefully. She smiled slightly when she got to the bottom. “Mrs Esposito will be happy to see me twice in less than a week.”

Perry just rolled her eyes. “You just love annoying Nonna. Come on kid. Let’s get going.”

* * *

The four college students, Ali and Perry all got Tobin Specials, much to the teens embarrassment.

“Tuesdays are made for pizza.” Allie said after she finished off the cheesy goodness. “Especially for you Tobin. Your Tuesdays are the worst. This would make any Tuesday better.”

Ash’s eyes went wide, and she gasped. “Oh my god! I have the perfect idea!”

Tobin groaned. “What now?” Christen just kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear.

“Settle babe. It’ll be fine.” Allie and Perry both saw the cheek kiss and while Allie squealed, Perry just smiled knowingly.

“When did that happen?” Allie asked.

Christen picked up their joined hands from where they were hidden under the table and put them in view. “Last week. But we are taking it slow. I haven’t even told my family yet so until that happens, no one else will be knowing about it.”

Allie beamed and Perry smiled. “You two are good for each other.” The older Heath said.

Christen blushed, thankful she had gotten away without a talking too, for now. Tobin just smiled at her sister and shrugged. She was happy and that is all Perry wanted.

Ash just waved them off. “Yes they are cute, but this is better.” The whole table looked at her and she smiled. “Every Tuesday, after training, we come here for Tobin Specials. It can be Tobin Tuesdays!”

The table all chuckled, but that turned into proper laughter when the teen in question just blushed scarlet and groaned. “I don’t get a choice in this, do I?”

The whole table just said ‘NO!’ in unison.

“Spectacular.” Tobin was very sarcastic.

Ali just nudged her. “It could be worse. The whole squad could be in on this.”

Tobin’s eyes went wide, and she shook her head. “I’m fine! I’m in. This is fine!”

* * *

Tobin was a bit flat after Ali left but knew that she would see her in a few weeks. The day after she had left, Tobin asked Christen for help with her shirt. The teen had managed to get her bra on by herself.

Christen stood in front of Tobin and ensured that she kept her eyes up as best she could. She did have to look to help manoeuvre the injured arm into the sleeve, but she was quick and methodical. Once she was dressed, Tobin smiled. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Thank you for trusting me to help you with it.”

“I always trusted you. I just wanted a bit more time.” Tobin leant across and kissed Christen softly.

Christen smiled into the kiss for a minute before she pulled back. “We should get that sling on.”

Tobin nodded and went across the room to grab it. Once she had it on and was comfortable, she turned to her girlfriend. “Do you want to go out and get some breakfast with me?”

Christen smiled. “Always.”

“Good. And I was thinking that after I get back from camp, I could take you out on a proper date?” Tobin’s voice sounded so hopeful.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Christen walked forward and grabbed her backpack and Tobins. “What do you and Perry do for Thanksgiving?"

Tobin shrugged as she walked to the door. "Not much. We just hang out at home. Sometimes we fly somewhere for the weekend. I'll probably do homework because I might have some catchup after the National Team camp. Why?"

"I'm going home for Thanksgiving. And I was hoping you and Perry would come too." Christen said quietly. She opened the door for Tobin to walk through but the teen didn't move. She was frozen.

"You want us to come? To meet your whole family?" Tobin asked, stunned.

"Yeah. I know it's not been long but I've met your family. I really want you to meet mine." Christen smiled shyly.

"I haven't had a proper Thanksgiving in over a decade."

"Talk to Perry about it. You don't have to, but my parents would love to have you guys stay with us."

"Do they even know about us?" Tobin asked as she walked forward and shut the door.

Christen blushed. "Well no. But they know about my awesome roommate and her sister!"

Tobin chuckled. "How about you tell them we started dating and then I will talk to Perry."

"Deal. Now let's go get food." Christen linked their hands and pulled Tobin forward with a massive grin. It wasn't something they hadn't done before they started dating, but it held a different connotation now.

Tobin just chuckled. "Is food the way to your heart? I need to know before this date of ours."

"Oh yeah. For sure. Food and you being adorable. I'm hooked on both." Christen kissed the blushing cheek next to hers and laughed. "You'll figure it out I am sure."

* * *

"Christen love! How are you going over there?" Stacey was smiling on the computer screen and Cody was sitting next to her.

"I'm good Mum. I really like it here. I know it is far from home but it has been the best thing for me."

Stacey and Cody both smiled. "We have your schedule on the fridge. You have class in 20 minutes. What do you need from us?" Cody asked.

"What makes you think I need anything? I could have just wanted to call." Christen said.

"Yes, but your face says otherwise." Stacey said. "What's happening Christen?"

The med student sighed. "I was wondering what our plans were for Thanksgiving."

"Everyone is coming to our place as usual. Why?"

Christen tucked her hair behind her ears. "I was wondering if I could bring some people."

Stacey beamed. "Depends on who these people are." Cody joked.

"You know Tobin?" Christen started.

"Yes, the new roommate. How is she?"

"She is injured at the moment but happy. It is her and her big sister. They uh, don't have any other family."

Stacey and Cody's faces fell in realisation. "Oh. Well of course they can come. Have you asked them yet?"

"I spoke to Tobin this morning but she made a very good point. Before she asks her sister, I have to tell you something." Christen was serious.

"What's up kiddo?" Cody asked.

"Tobin is my girlfriend." Christen said with a blush.

Stacey beamed while Codys face fell. "That's amazing news baby! From everything you said, she sounds lovely. I can't wait to meet her."

CHristen frowned. "Daddy?"

Cody shook himself and smiled. "It's nothing baby. I'm very happy for you."

"You seem upset."

Cody blushed while Stacey grinned. "I may have bet your mother that you wouldn't start dating this girl until after Christmas. I owe her a spa weekend for two. If you had just waited, I would have gotten new golf clubs instead of a pedicure." Cody whined.

"WHAT?!" Christen exclaimed. Stacey just burst out laughing.

"Honey, every time you spoke of Tobin, you looked so happy and in love. It was only a matter of time." Stacey stated. "Your father thought you would have a harder time talking yourself into asking her out."

"Well, she may have technically made the first move." Christen muttered. Stacey just shook her head.

"Both Tobin and her sister are more than welcome. What's her name and number? I can call her and work flights and such out with her after you ask." Stacey grabbed a pen and notepad.

"Perry. Her number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. I'll call her today and ask, or get Tobin too after class."

"Thank you baby. Now get going. And call us tonight so we can talk to this Tobin. I want to see this smile you kept talking about and check on her intentions." Cody teased.

"Dad!" Christen exclaimed. "Promise me you won't interrogate Tobin."

"I can't do that. It is a fathers duty to interrogate all potential suitors of their daughters. It's the law." Cody said while Stacey cried with laughter.

"Oh my god you two are a nightmare. I'm going." Christen rolled her eyes. "I love you both."

"We love you too."

THey hung up and CHristen sighed. "Tobin is in for a shock."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of fluff to finish off my Monday. Hopefully this makes the start of your week better. 
> 
> ellaaa25 xoxox


	11. To Florida and Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin meets the Press's, goes to Florida and makes some strides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post this yet, but then I found out I PASSED so I got in a groove.
> 
> My good result gets chapters written? Who knew?

“Are you ready Tobin?”

Tobin looked pale. “Yes?”

Christen just held her hand and smiled. “Don’t worry. My dad is a softy. And if you need to, pretend your phone is ringing and go find Ash.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t take anything he says seriously. I told my mum to keep him in line.” Christen booted up the laptop and started the Skype call. “He will try and put on this tough guy act. He isn’t.”

Tobin nodded. “Anything else I should know?”

Christen shook her head. “Let’s just hope Channing and Tyler aren’t there.”

“Aren’t they at college?” Tobin asked.

“Yes, but they won’t ever turn down a chance to tease me. Let’s hope Mum hasn’t said anything.”

Before Tobin could respond, the call connected, and two smiling faces were on the screen. “Christen!”

“Hi Mum.” Christen smiled. “How was your day?” She was stalling.

“Nice try. Are you going to introduce us?” Stacey asked with an amused look.

Busted.

Christen rolled her eyes. “Mum, Dad. This is Tobin. Tobin, these are my parents, Cody and Stacey.”

“That’s Mr and Mrs Press to you.” Cody said sternly.

“DAD!” “CODY!” The two Press women sounded scarily alike.

The man just beamed and laughed. Tobin looked slightly freaked out. “I’m only joking Tobin. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Christen has told us some wonderful things.”

Tobin nodded and smiled slightly. “Likewise.” Christen held her hand under the table. “Thank you for inviting me and my sister to your Thanksgiving. I spoke to her this afternoon and she was very keen. Christen said she gave you her number, so she is ready for your call if you need to speak to her.”

“You’re very welcome Tobin. The more the merrier. And we look forward to meeting you both in person.”

Tobin smiled a bit wider and Christen chuckled. Tobin looked at her confused. “You still have to meet my sisters. If that happens before Thanksgiving you won’t want to come.”

Tobin just grinned. “Maybe they will tell me embarrassing stories about you like Perry does for me!”

“I have no embarrassing stories thank you very much.” Christen was indignant.

Cody laughed loudly. “I have so many Tobin. Don’t stress. If Channing and Tyler don’t deliver I will tell you.”

“Don’t you dare dad!”

Tobin looked at the man on the screen with a massive grin. “Actually?”

“On two conditions.” Cody waited for Tobin’s nod before continuing. “First, I’m curious. How did you hurt yourself?”

Tobin blushed scarlet and Christen beamed. “I may have skateboarded into a door.” She mumbled. She wasn’t giving them the full story just yet.

Cody and Stacey tried valiantly not to laugh but eventually the dam burst. Tobin couldn’t help but smile bashfully and giggle a bit. Honestly, it was funny a bit further removed from the situation. She still wouldn’t tell them everything though.

“That’s... unfortunate Tobin. Any idea when you can get out of the sling?” Stacey asked with a chuckle.

“Hopefully just another week. I can’t wait.” Tobin said.

Cody grinned. “You ready for the second part?”

“Daddy…” Christen’s tone sent out a warning to her father.

“Oh hush child.” Cody scoffed. “I like this kid already so stop stressing. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll hold off until Thanksgiving. A stay of execution, in theory.”

“Thank you.” Christen rolled her eyes and Tobin grinned.

Stacey smiled at the pair. “You two are very sweet together. We can’t wait until Thanksgiving. I will call your sister later to organise flights and such. But don’t you guys have training tonight? Do you need to get going.”

“We do. I get to train. Tobin has to sit on a bike and cycle.”

Tobin frowned. “It is not fun.”

Stacey just shrugged. “Next time don’t skateboard into a door.”

Tobin looked at Christen and pouted. “Babe, your Mum is being mean to me.”

The three Press family members all laughed and Tobin grinned. It was a good start.

* * *

“Perry, I am not a kid anymore. Why do you have to fly with me to Florida?”

Perry just rolled her eyes. “Because I am needed at a meeting with the coach and medical staff, again. Dr Andersen didn’t clear you to get out of the sling. The doctor needs to look at it to see what can be done. If you don’t want anyone else to see, I had to come. You know this. You asked for this. Now it looks like your sister is holding your hand going into camp.”

Tobin slumped. “Dr Andersen said two weeks. It has been three.”

Perry tapped her in the middle of her shoulder blades so she sat up straight. “He also said you probably dislocated it and was taking the cautious approach. Do you want to have another surgery before 18? How many are we at? 9?”

“11, and no.” Tobin said lowly.

“Actually?” Perry looked stunned at Tobin’s nod but quickly went back into bitch mode. “Then suck it up. Besides, he said that the team doctors could clear you if you let them look.”

“You’re mean today.” Tobin complained.

Perry softened. “Sorry. I’ve had a rough time at work.” She was an architect.

“Oh. I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine kid. I just can’t talk about what’s frustrating and it’s annoying.”

“Building not coming together?” Tobin asked.

Perry nodded. “And a nightmare client with a fuck ton of NDAs.”

* * *

Tobin and Perry were picked up at the airport and taken straight to the hotel. Most of the team was already there and getting ready for a meeting, but before Tobin could greet any of them, she was ushered in to see the doctor.

The team was confused. “What’s up with Kid Wonder?” HAO looked directly at Ali at this. Everyone knew she had been with her.

Ali was frowning. “She hurt her shoulder but was meant to be out of the sling a week ago.”

“What did the kid do now?” Hope asked incredulously. “Juggle in a hallway and fall down the stairs?”

The team laughed slightly but they all knew it was a possibility. Ali just shrugged. “Not my place to say.”

* * *

“Alright Tobin, I’m Dawn. I am the new Athletic Trainer for the team. I am the one who sets up rehab and strengthening programs for the players and ensures they are followed. Our team doc here, Michaela, and I spent several hours on the phone with Dr Andersen. He walked us through your history.”

Tobin huddled into herself at that point, but Perry gentle tap on the centre of her shoulder blades reminded her to sit upright. It was something they had always done.

Dawn continued after the teen straightened. She had a slight smile on her face at the interaction. “We are the only two who will have access to your file. We will be the ones who will treat you. Minor muscle soreness? You jump the queue and come to me. Anyone bothers you about it, come to me. Pia and the coaching staff will not know the full extent of your history, only what relates to your football. This is to protect your privacy.”

Tobin nodded. Perry just smiled tightly. “What about not being alone with you?”

Michaela smiled tightly. “Unless we are treating your back or shoulder, with your permission, we will treat you on ones of the beds in the main change room in front of everyone. If there is something that requires being behind closed doors, it’s up to you.”

“Can Ali come?” Tobin asked.

Michaela nodded. “Yes, but what if she isn’t here? She is based in Germany and may not get pulled in for the shorter camps. Who comes if Ali isn’t here?”

Tobin frowned. “Ali is the only one here who knows.”

Dawn sighed. “We know. But someone else needs to be able to come in if Ali isn’t available. You don’t have to tell them. They just have to be there.”

“Can I think about it? It’ll depend on who is around.”

“Okay.” Michaela made a note in her file before shutting. “Now, we need to look at your shoulder, and your back, so we know what we are starting with. We can find out what’s your normal and work from there. At the start of every camp, if you agree, I would like to do this assessment so we can track your progress and make adjustments. Not just for your football, but your quality of life.”

Tobin looked confused. “You don’t just want to tape it up, so it works for training and games and that’s it?”

Dawn laughed lightly. “No Tobin. You will need your shoulder, and your back, your entire life. We would be doing you a disservice if we just focused on football.”

“Oh.” Tobin looked at Perry. “You’re staying right?”

“Until we know what’s happening. I’m not missing this.”

Tobin nodded and looked at Dawn. “Okay.”

* * *

Tobin joined the team with her arm no longer in the sling but held protectively against her body. Lots of one-handed hugs were given and taken but she just smiled tightly. Ali got a bigger hug than most.

“You good?” Ali asked in her ear. Tobin just nodded and exhaled shakily. “We will talk later. We’re roomies this time.”

Tobin was smiling when she leant back which eased the tensions of the group.

“What happened to you kid?” Carli asked. “They aren’t sending you because of that are they?”

Tobin shook her head. “They want to put me through a rehab and strengthening thing here that can be followed up at UNC. Ten days is enough time for some trial and error apparently. But no soccer. Dawn gave me a list of rules I have to follow and a everything.” She dug the paper out of her pocket and gave it to Carli.

“I’ve heard Dawn’s tough.” Then the Jersey native looked down. She was confused. “This is a joke right?”

Tobin shook her head.

“How did wearing closed in shoes at all times outside of your room become a rule for you? And no skateboarding? No coffee, sugar, energy drinks. She has even banned juice!” Carli was gobsmacked. “What the hell?”

“It is kind of fair to be honest.” Tobin said.

Carli and the team were confused. “Why?”

Tobin realised she had said too much. “Oh uh shit.” She started backing up.

Pinoe, a known prankster and joker, didn’t know the teen well as of yet, but wanted to try and break the ice a bit. She had seen good things from her and wanted her to be able to join in with the group even if she was a teenager. She came and gently put her arm around Tobin, noticing her flinch but not saying anything. “Now, now, Tobin. We are all friends here. What did you do which made our new trainer have to even think to ban skateboarding?”

Tobin looked at Ali for help. The defender looked at the team and back at Tobin. “Sorry. You’re on your own.”

Tobin sighed, defeated. “I may have had a few energy drinks, lost my shoes and stacked it over a bench while skateboarding. It was a hard day alright?”

The team were stunned silent for five seconds before they burst out laughing. A-Rod fell into Cheney she was laughing so hard. “Oh my god that is classic.”

Tobin looked at Ali, unnerved. The defender just waved her concerns away with a smile. “You're fine.” She mouthed. “Don’t worry.”

* * *

They were halfway through the camp and Tobin was more tired than Ali, and she had done football-based training. “I don’t like this Dawn lady. She makes me work hard.”

Ali just chuckled. “She is making your body work in ways it never has before. It is honestly a marvel to watch. Such simple mechanics that your body doesn’t like to follow.”

“I just want to kick a bloody football.”

“When you get back to UNC, you can take Chris out and kick a football around as much as you want. Right now, as shitty as it is, you have to do rehab.”

Tobin groaned into her pillow. Ali just rolled her eyes. “Do you want to have another surgery?”

“You sound like my sister!” Her voice was muffled but the complaint was clear.

“It’s true.”

Tobin sat up with a frown. “You do know I will have to have more surgery eventually right? This is essentially just prehab.”

“What do you mean?”

Tobin sighed. “I had four surgeries to essentially put my arm back together the week after the accident. I had two more at the first foster house. One because one of the breaks wasn’t healing properly and another to fix an impingement. I couldn’t move my arm above 90 degrees. That is 6 surgeries before I turned 5.”

“I needed one after the third time he beat me. He broke my elbow, it’s why it doesn’t fully straighten, and gashed my back. I needed two after I finally got out of there to fix the damage that had previously been fixed in my shoulder and elbow. That’s nine, seven of which were on my shoulder.”

“I have had a shoulder cleanout and they had to repair a tendon. The cleanout was before I started at UNC. Perry calls it my glass shoulder. All this strengthening will help day to day stuff but one fall, it doesn’t even have to be bad, and my shoulder is done for.”

Ali’s eyes went wide. “Oh. I had no idea.”

Tobin shrugged. “It’ll happen eventually. I just want to finish college first. But what I want is never what I get.”

“We could bump you at training and if you fall the wrong way, it just goes?”

“Potentially. It’s been the same for years though. All this stuff with Dawn is making sure the rest of my back and body doesn’t crumble when my shoulder eventually does.”

“That’s a bleak way of thinking Tobin.”

Tobin just laughed humourlessly. “I haven’t had much reason to think positively about it.”

* * *

It was the last night and Tobin had just been cleared to train when she went back to UNC, so she was happy about that. The team was going out after their friendly match against Costa Rica and Tobin was toddling along at the back, feeling very out of place. She was texting Christen and honestly just wanted to be back in her room talking to her on the phone.

It had been a weird camp and Tobin was a bit out of whack, which was noticed by the team. She was quieter and more introverted than they had seen since before the Olympics.

She had been away from the rest of the team for most of it, only joining for meetings and technical sessions. Any training session had her working with Dawn and Michaela on the side. As much as she didn’t like doctors or trust them really, the two of them did everything in their power to get her to settle. But she didn't talk about what she was going through and it was obvious the group were told not to ask her about it.

However, Tobin had made progress in the way she interacted with Michaela and Dawn. For their last session, Tobin had asked to not to be out on the pitch with the team, working on the sideline. Instead, she was in the gym. She was still able to see the field and the team was close enough that she could see them and they could see her, but no one was holding her hand while she got her shoulder worked on. It was a massive step for Tobin.

Because she was essentially doing her own thing, she wasn’t around the team enough to get into deep conversations about anything. Which meant she had managed to not spill the beans about her new girlfriend. Tobin wasn’t ready to share, and she knew the team would interrogate her to no end if they found out. And considering the camp in January was being held in North Carolina, Tobin wanted to protect her girlfriend for as long as possible.

Ali slunk to the back of the group, snatched the phone and shot of a quick text before Tobin could even react. “What are you doing?! Give me my phone!” Tobin whisper shouted.

“Saving you from being interrogated about what you are doing. We are going to dinner. You can text your girlfriend when you get back.” Ali smiled as she said that.

“But-“

“No buts. Go be with the other New Kids. They are missing you.”

Tobin pouted but Ali stood firm. “Fine. But I get my phone back at dinner.”

“No.”

“You’re mean.” Tobin slumped away and Ali just rolled her eyes. She walked back across to the group of Carli, Hope, Pinoe and Mittsy. “Bloody kids.”

The three just laughed. “Did you seriously confiscate her phone?”

Ali nodded. “Yeah. She was texting the girls back at school. One of them texted me to grab it so she enjoyed herself.”

The girls just chuckled.

“Is she happy at school? She didn’t say much about it in Beijing.” Hope asked.

“Very. It hasn’t been easy but according to her sister she has never been happier. And the college assigned her a roommate for the first time which is great. They get on well.” Ali explained. They watched the teen say something that made her fellow New Kids fall into each other laughing. “I think that’s helped her more than anything else has.”

The girls nodded before they moved onto happier topics. They got to the restaurant and Tobin narrowed her eyes at Ali when she realised it was an Italian restaurant. The defender just held her laughter in and shrugged.

They went around and ordered their meals, with most players getting a pasta. Tobin on the other hand was incapable of not ordering a pizza. “Just a plain cheese pizza please.”

“Come on Tobin! Live a little!” Pinoe complained from the other side of the table.

Tobin just shrugged. “I always have pizza on Tuesdays.”

* * *

Tobin flew back to North Carolina and was quickly whisked back to school by her sister. “I’m sorry I can’t stay with you for a while Tobin. I have a big meeting I have to get too.” She was just dropping her at the dorms.

“I have class work anyway.” Tobin said. “You sorted all the stuff out with Stacey?”

“Yea, but that isn’t for two weeks. Just focus on getting back on the field for the Stanford game. Next weekend yeah? I’ll take you out for dinner after. You and Christen. And Ash and Allie and whoever else okay? I’m just sorry I’ve been swamped and not been around.” Perry said.

“It’s okay. You have a good job at a big firm. I’m a college Junior. I can manage.” Perry smiled at her sister and pulled her in for a hug. “Some of Chris’s friends will be in town too. Including Kelley. Some of them might want to come to dinner too…”

“The more the merrier.” Perry released her sister. “Do you have plans for this weekend?”

Tobin nodded. “I’m taking Chris out on a date. I have to figure out all the details though. Any ideas?”

“Don’t go fancy and all out.” Tobin looked confused so Perry elaborated. “You won’t be comfortable which will make Christen nervous. Something casual and simple. Once you get further into the relationship, maybe move out of your comfort zone. But you haven’t done this before so take it slow. Do I need to have the talk with you again?”

“It’s our first date Perry.” Tobin said with a blush.

“And you are already girlfriends and basically living together. My question stands.” Perry stated in her no bullshit tone.

Tobin sighed. “No. I remember every version of it you’ve given me. Besides, we are taking it slow. Chris is great with all that.”

“Okay. What’s our rule again?”

Tobin rolled her eyes. “I can come to you with anything, even if I did something wrong or stupid. No judgement, no punishment, just a way to fix it and strategy to not do it again. But if I don’t tell you, I get in more trouble and you are grumpy for a month.”

“Don’t be cheeky.” Perry poked her sister in the ribs, making her squirm. “If something happens, you can come to me. You won’t get into trouble.”

“I know. But why do you think I would have done something wrong?” Tobin asked.

Perry just raised an eyebrow. “I got the email from that 17s camp a few years ago. Something about bottle rockets under bus seats?”

“That was Alex and Kelley.” Tobin said.

“Right.” Perry didn’t believe her. “And hacking the speakers in the U16s? Elephants toothpaste? Fireworks at midnight at the U20s? They never knew who did it or how. If I found out it was you and you didn’t say anything, how much trouble would I have got you in?”

“Heaps! But I only did the speakers one and research for the elephants toothpaste and I told you that!”

“And did you get in trouble?”

“No because I told you.”

“Exactly.” Perry leant across and opened the door for her sister. “You can tell me anything and you know that. Don’t change that just because you have a girlfriend.”

Tobin nodded. “I won’t. Promise.” She jumped out of the car and closed the door. “That was clever. New parenting technique?” She asked through the open window.

“Yeah. Read a book called ‘How To Deal With Genius Little Sisters Who Go To College And Get A Girlfriend’. It’s a great read.” Perry joked.

Tobin just grinned. “Get to work Perry. Love you.”

“Love you too. Good luck with your date.” Perry drove off after that and Tobin watched her go with a smile on her face.

Once she couldn’t see her car anymore, Tobin turned to go into the dorm. “Best sister ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it and let me know what you think. 
> 
> I feel as though I need to put heaps of fluff in all my stories after Private and Secretive’s last update... good thing it fits in with the plan!
> 
> hope you arent still salty hehe
> 
> I PASSED WOOHOO


	12. The First Official Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin shows another side of herself that not many knew about for the first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. We have fluff. and more fluff. and talks. and more talks. and laughter. and dorkiness.
> 
> Oh. And baby steps.
> 
> I only own the mistakes!

Tobin took a deep breath before she knocked on the door.

“You can come in Tobin.” Christen voice travelled through the closed door.

Tobin smiled to herself. “Nope. It’s a date. I’m picking you up. You have to open the door. Apparently it's protocol!”

Tobin felt she could hear Christen roll her eyes but that thought went out the window when Christen opened the door. Her jaw dropped.

Christen just smiled at the gobsmacked teen. She leant forward and kissed her cheek as she closed the jaw. “Hi.”

Tobin grinned goofily. “Hi. Are you ready to go?”

“You know, we could have just gotten ready here, together.” Christen said as she stepped forward and closed the door. “You didn’t have to go to Ash and Whitney’s room.”

Tobin shrugged and held her hand out for Christen to take. “But then I wouldn’t get to see you open the door looking like that. You look gorgeous.”

Christen was in tight black jeans and white converse, with a cut-off white shirt and denim jacket. Her hair was out in her natural curls, but she had put a beanie on top to keep it out of her face. “Thanks. You look very nice too. Very hot.”

Tobin blushed. Jeans, a white t-shirt with a bomber jacket, snap back and hi-tops was her go to outfit when going out. She was comfortable in her own skin but according to Ash, she also looked ‘fucking hot’.

Christen grinned, proud of herself for making Tobin blush. “So, where are we going?”

Tobin smiled and squeezed the hand in hers. “Well, Perry said I should keep it casual, so I was comfortable. Ash said that was a good idea, so I didn’t act like an idiot. Allie said that I wasn’t allowed to include soccer in this. So I figured I could take you somewhere I went a lot growing up? It’s nearish to campus cause I practically grew up here with Perry at school. I know all the cool places.”

“And you are only taking me to one?” Christen asked in mock outrage.

Tobin blushed. “Technically two, but they are right next to each other.”

Christen smiled. “I am looking forward to it.”

* * *

“An arcade?” Christen asked.

Tobin nodded eagerly. “Yeah. I used to walk here after primary school and hang out until Perry could come get me after class to go to training or whatever. My school was only down the road. High school was a different story.” Tobin pulled Christen along by their joined hands over to the counter. “Hi Mrs B!”

The lady behind the counter looked up and beamed. “Tobin Heath! Get over here and give me a hug.”

Tobin dropped Christens hand and jumped the counter to hug the lady. She had to be in her late-forties. “How are you Mrs B?” Tobin asked with a grin.

“Better now you have come back to say hello after your Olympic adventure. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?” Mrs Beckett asked. Tobin jumped back over the counter as the lady walked around the side.

“This is Christen, my girlfriend. Chris, this is Mrs B.” Christen held her hand out for a shake but was pulled in for a hug.

“Very nice to meet you Christen. Please, call me Kate. Tobin is the only one who insists on calling me Mrs B. Has since she was a little seven-year-old who refused to stop playing pinball for her grilled cheese sandwich. Even Perry couldn’t get her to move.” Christen grinned and Tobin shrugged.

“You will always be Mrs B.” Tobin said. “I was hoping to show Christen –“

“Your hiding spot from high school?” Kate said knowingly.

Tobin smiled. “Yea. How did you know?”

“Because it was the first place you would go every time you came here from age 11. And your sister called me saying you would be bringing a date, so I was prepared.” Kate smiled when Tobin cursed her sisters name in a loving fashion. “It’s unlocked. Can I get the two of you any food before you go into Tobin’s little world?”

Tobin looked at Christen with a question in her eyes. The striker smiled. “Can we get whatever Tobin used to get when she was a kid? And I really feel like chicken nuggets.”

“Consider it done. Water or Coke?”

“Just water please Mrs B.” Tobin said quickly.

Kate looked at Tobin with narrowed eyes. “You banned from sugar again?”

Tobin blushed. “Maybe…”

“I should have known. Get moving squirt.” Kate said with a smile.

“I’m not a squirt! I’m taller than you now.” Tobin whined.

“You keep calling me Mrs B, I’m going to keep calling you squirt.” Kate called over her shoulder.

Tobin sighed and Christen giggled. “Can I call you squirt?”

Tobin just kissed her quickly. “No.” Then she turned and led them to a private room off to the side. It had a small table, a few beanbags and a tv in it. There was a small bookshelf with comics and books on it. All along the walls, from about a foot off the floor to chest high, were drawings.

“What is this place Tobi?” Christen asked. She was looking around the room in awe.

Tobin smiled. “I was barely 11 years old as a freshman in high school. It uh, wasn’t fun for me. My high school was 1.45 miles away from here, and I knew it was a safe zone from primary and middle school. I could get here in about 13 minutes when I ran really fast. That happened a fair bit. Perry didn’t finish class until 5pm on the days I didn’t have soccer, so I came here to wait for her. One day, I ran in and hid behind the counter cause some kids were chasing me. Easy target. Mrs B just told them to buzz off. The next day, she had this room cleared out. It was just used for storage. Told me I could use it whenever I needed too after school. I used to come, do my homework then play games until Perry came. If Perry was working on weekends, I’d come here and hang out, do school work and play games when I finished. Then in my Junior year, she gave me a job after school and on weekends. I used to fix all the machines when they broke. I still do.”

Christen smiled. “And the drawings?”

“Not all mine. I would usually go straight for the comics in the corner or the video games on the tv after I finished my homework, but the skyscraper in the corner is what I used to work on occasionally. I know she lets kids come in here after school still. It’s like an unknown nerd hideout. Have to finish your work before you get to do the fun stuff though.”

“This is amazing Tobin. Do you still come here to study?” Christen asked as she plopped down in a beanbag. “This smells like Cheetos Tobin.” She said, laughing.

Tobin grinned and sat next to her. “Not anymore. When I got my own room in Freshman Year, it was easier to stay there. It’s a longer walk from the campus than from my high school. Occasionally I would sneak out on the weekends and play games, but Mrs B would always call Perry if I was here after 10pm.”

“So are you going to show me all your favourite games and give me an insight into the genius mind of Tobin Powell Heath?” Christen asked with a grin.

Tobin shrugged and fiddled with her fingers. “Yea. Everyone knows the super smart Tobin and soccer star Tobin. I want you to know nerd Tobin who likes video games and comics and is just a normal person. The Tobin who wears glasses and arm doesn’t straighten fully and sometimes stutters when she’s tired or nervous.”

“Babe?” Christen leant across and put her hand on Tobin’s so she fiddled with her fingers instead.

“Yeah?” Tobin asked.

“I like all those Tobin’s.” Christen said with a grin. “What’s your best game?”

“Street Fighter. But I love all of them. It just depends on what’s free at the time. I have a top ten score on almost every machine.” Tobin was very proud of that.

“You have been coming here for ten years Squirt. I am not surprised.” Mrs B had opened the door and brought the food in. “One serving of chicken nuggets, two hot dogs, two grilled cheese sandwiches and nachos. Enjoy kids. Let me know if you need anything else.” Mrs B closed the door behind her, laughing at Christens stunned face.

“You ate all of this?”

Tobin laughed and shook her head. “Not all at once. I used to come most Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Wednesday afternoon I got a hotdog, Thursday’s I got grilled cheese and Sunday’s were for Nachos.”

Christen relaxed. “Oh thank god. My arteries already feel clogged and I haven’t eaten anything.”

Tobin leant across and kissed Christen until she had to pull back for air. “Thank you.”

Christen looked at her quizzically. “For what?”

“Being you. Liking the real me. Not teasing me for bringing you to an arcade for our first date.”

Christen just grinned. “As long as you don’t tease me for being crap at Space Invaders.”

“I can teach you the tricks if you want?” Tobin asked hopefully.

“Sounds brilliant.”

* * *

The pair ate almost all the food much to Christens horror and Tobin’s delight. It was really tasty. After that, Tobin took her girlfriend for a tour around the games in the arcade.

Christen had a ball. She hadn’t heard of half the games, but Tobin knew her way around all of them. It was a busy little place, but Tobin seemed to know exactly how to move around to not be bothered by anyone.

Tobin was happy to show Christen the easiest way to score points and gladly kissed her when she jumped up excitedly after beating a level in a game. Christen loved trying to distract Tobin from her games and laughed whenever she totally mucked up because of the kiss she had planted on her cheek at just the right time.

Christen made Tobin have a go at the dancing game, laughing their heads of they both got their feet tangled on the squares. Pinball was a classic and the pair each took control of a bumper and did their best to jump into the top ten. They didn’t get close because Christen kept forgetting to hit her button and Tobin just kissed her whenever she did. It was a reward system that was not working at all.

It got to 10pm and the pair were beaming and laughing. They had stopped playing games about an hour ago and were just sitting in the room talking and joking, with the occasional light make out session thrown in.

“I really had a lot of fun tonight Tobin. Thank you for showing me the nerdy side of you.” Christen said before she kissed Tobin deeply.

Tobin pulled back without opening her eyes. “We haven’t finished yet. We still have to go next door for ice-cream.”

Christen laughed. “It’s November Tobin. It’s freezing.”

“But it’s part of my plan to woo you.” Tobin whined after opening her eyes.

“Is it an integral part of your plan?” Christen asked with mock seriousness.

“It’s the most important part.” Tobin replied.

Christen pretended to think about it. “Do they have chocolate chip?”

Tobin nodded. “It’s my favourite.”

Christen beamed. “Mine too.”

* * *

Christen and Tobin called out their goodbyes to Kate and got told to come back soon. “We will!”

“And keep being cute!”

Tobin and Christen just laughed and walked out the door. They got a cup of chocolate chip ice cream to share before they started the walk back to campus.

“Okay. Sooo you know all about nerd Tobin. What about nerd Christen? What skeletons from high school do you have?” Tobin asked with a grin.

Christen narrowed her eyes at Tobin before taking some ice cream. “High school Christen will get spoken about enough at Thanksgiving. Can I get a reprieve until then?” She asked with a pout.

Tobin just kissed the pout. “No.” Christen groaned. “Come on. Just a tiny little titbit to tide me over.” Tobin begged.

Christen sighed. “Okay. So, I basically skipped eighth grade and went to ninth. My older sister was in grade 10. My school was good about putting you in classes that were at your level, not your age. So, my lowest class was like a year ahead, but I ended up in a higher math class then my big sister. Who I then had to tutor at home when she started failing.”

“Actually?” Tobin asked, stunned.

Christen nodded with a wry grin. “She was not impressed. Turned out she had a boyfriend we didn’t know about and was sneaking out to meet him instead of doing her homework. 14-year-old freshman Christen ratted her out accidently when she complained that she was always late to do homework. Tyler didn’t talk to me for a month.”

Tobin laughed. “That’s amazing and totally something I would do. Can I get one more?” Tobin asked with a small grin.

Christen gave a wry grin. “I had braces. And big oversized glasses.”

“The same ones you have now?” Tobin asked.

Christen nodded. “Similar. Put that with baggy jeans, oversized t-shirts and frizzy hair, you get freshman high school Christen. It took till the end of my Junior Year before I realised that I didn’t just have to be the nerdy soccer player and I got a bit more fashionable. I felt more comfortable in myself and who I was, and I had a new way to express myself. I didn’t really embrace it all until Stanford. Kelley was the best roommate to have for that. She was purely 100% Kelley and didn’t care.”

Tobin smiled and took a spoon full of ice-cream. “She is pretty awesome. I can’t wait to see her next weekend.”

“Yeah. She is probably going to sneak out of the team hotel and crash with us the night after game by the way. You gonna crash with me or let Kelley?” Christen joked with grin.

“You aren’t cuddling with no one but me!” Tobin put her arms around Christens waist and pulled her in a circle while the med student laughed. Tobin smiled into her neck as they stopped.

“We almost lost the ice-cream babe.” Christen said quietly, still puffed from laughing.

Tobin just burst out laughing again before she pulled back from the hug. With only one arm around her waist, they walked for a few minutes sharing ice-cream.

“Did you always want to be a doctor?” It was a random question, but Tobin was curious.

Christen just shrugged. “I always wanted to help people. I always liked science and figuring out puzzles and why things were going wrong and how to fix it. I’m not sure when that merged into wanting to be a doctor. Dad always said he thought I’d want to be an engineer. Helping people out though, that would be the dream. Soccer is fun for me now and I know I am good, but making the National Team isn't my dream. Never really has been. Helping people. That's my dream.”

“What type of doctor?” Tobin asked.

Christen grinned. “Paediatrician. I want to make kids smile even when they feel crappy and make sure they go home just a little bit happier than they did when they got there. I want them to spend as little time sick as possible and get out there and play.”

Tobin smiled and took another scoop of ice-cream. “I really hope you can make that happen.”

“You’re okay with me wanting to be a doctor?” Christen asked seriously. “I mean, after everything…” She tailed off.

“You don’t need me to be okay with it, but I am totally, 100 percent behind you.” Tobin nodded and smiled. “I have deep rooted trust issues with doctors because of one asshole who abused his position. That’s my history. But I still see doctors, I just need help with that. I’m working on it. I know doctors are good people, and that they do great things. You will be an amazing doctor and the world will be better because you are one. I would be so very proud if you were a doctor and would brag about you all the time. Actually, I would brag about you regardless. It just means that if you work in a hospital, I may not visit very often. I still hate those places.” Tobin joked a bit at the end to try an lighten the mood.

Christen smiled. “That makes sense. What about you? What does your big genius brain want to do with these three degrees? Physics, Maths and Neuroscience are a good combination.”

Tobin stopped walking. “You really want to know?”

“Of course.” Christen said with a smile as she ate the last bit of ice-cream. “I need to know if you are going for world domination or using your brain for good!”

“No one really asks me that and then likes the answer.” Tobin chuckled ruefully. “I don’t know.”

“Okay… don’t know what babe?” Christen asked.

Tobin through her hands up. “I don’t know. Everyone wants me to be a doctor or an engineer or a scientist. Mathematician or a physicist. I just want to be Tobin.”

Tobin sighed. “My advisors told me to not play soccer. Just focus on the academics they said. Your brain needs to be the focus. So when I got pulled for National Camps, they fought like hell. Perry had arguments for hours because they thought my academics would suffer if I went and played soccer in Florida for a week. When I got called in for the Olympics, they said it was a waste of time and I wouldn’t play. I played in three of the games and won a gold medal. It was one of the scariest things I had done going over there, but I grew so much and learnt so much about myself. But I still don’t know what I want to do.”

“They really did that?” Christen was stunned.

Tobin nodded. “I was a big get for the college. It took two years for them not to frown at me when I played soccer. Now they accept it but only because it’s a good look to have an Olympian on their books.”

“Yikes.” Christen said which cause Tobin to laugh. “That’s crazy Tobin.”

Tobin shrugged. “I can’t change it. I can only work with it. I love the degrees and learning but the fact I haven’t decided on if I want to do a PHD or Masters, which one it is, and my final career is part of every single conversation I have with them. They don’t like the fact I want to play soccer before anything else.”

“What was your dream as a kid?”

Tobin smiled and then grabbed Christens hand and started walking. “Before I got into soccer when we moved here and before the accident, I wanted to be a builder.”

“What?” Christen laughed as she spoke.

Tobin nodded. “Yea. Building things was so much fun. I used to make the biggest buildings and run through them to knock them down. I had a hard hat and everything.”

“That’s amazing! When did you grow out of that?”

Tobin shrugged and squeezed Christens hand tight. “Probably when I found soccer. I think I just liked making stuff and then breaking it. My early teens and high school years, I really wanted to know why I am the way I am. Why my brain does what it does. Why I was different and why I got picked on. Just, why?” Tobin said matter-of-factly. “It’s the reason I picked the degrees I did, other than finding them interesting. But I know that going down that rabbit hole will probably cause me more stress and hassle than I would handle. The human brain is interesting, but I would never get close to knowing why my brain works the way it does.”

Christen was quiet for a minute. “Chris?”

“Sorry.” Christen wiped her eyes. “That was just a bit more emotional than I expected.”

“What do you mean?” Tobin asked.

Christen smiled and linked arms with the teen as the dorm building came into focus. “With a brain like yours, you could do anything and easily. The fact you won’t let someone pigeonhole you because of it is amazing. It shows your strength.”

Tobin blushed. “You really think so?”

Christen nodded. “I really do. And I do not care why your brain is special. I don’t care about what you do. I just care that you are you, and you are happy being you.”

Tobin grinned. “So if I opened an arcade and bummed around for my entire life and never used my big brain, you’d be okay with that?”

“If you were happy, I’d be happy.”

Tobin kissed Christen in front of the dorm building. Words couldn’t express how she felt. She pulled back after a minute. “Thank you. For getting it.”

Christen kissed her again. “You don’t have to ever thank me for supporting you. You are 17 Tobin. You have so much time. You will be 19 with three degrees. I think you are allowed to take some time to think while you play soccer. If that’s what you want.”

Tobin smiled. “I just want to be me.”

“Awesome.” Christen smiled and then used their linked hands to pull the teen forward and in the building. They were giggling and smiling as they walked up the stairs.

They weren’t looking when they entered their hallway, too wrapped up in their own giggles and smiles. They were unaware of the whole team sitting in the hallway, even the seniors who weren’t living on campus, waiting for them.

“He-hem.” A throat was cleared. “And what time do you think this is?”

Christen and Tobin froze before turning to find the entire team there grinning.

Tobin blushed bright red. “Ah-ah b-b-bedtime?” She stuttered.

Christen just rolled her eyes. “What do you want?”

Allie grinned innocently. “How was the date?” She asked.

“Amazing.” Christen deadpanned. “Are you going to let us through?”

“Are you going to tell us any more than that?”

“NO!” Tobin exclaimed.

The team turned to Christen. She shrugged. “I still have to get dropped off at my door. Date’s not over yet.”

“OWEE!” “GET IT TOBES!” “DAMN!” “OH SHIT!” The teams reactions were priceless, and a few fell over laughing so hard. Christen just rolled her eyes and pulled Tobin through the throng and opened their door to cheers and laughs. She pushed Tobin in and closed and locked the door behind them.

“Oh god. Who the hell told them we were going out?” Christen exclaimed.

Tobin just burst out laughing. “That was so weird!”

Christen just looked at Tobin laughing her head off and started giggling. Before they knew it, they were both unable to stand because their ribs hurts so much.

Tobin collapsed on her bed and Christen stumbled across and joined her. They were still laughing and fully clothed but neither made any move to change. They were happy to just be there, in that moment, together.

"That was perfect Tobin." Christen said once they calmed down. "I had the best time."

Tobin smiled. "A good enough time to earn me a second date?" She asked cheesily.

Christen grinned. "I think you just earned all the dates."

Tobin fist pumped which made Christen laugh again. "You are such a dork."

Tobin kissed her on the nose. "But I'm your dork."

"Yea. You're my dork." Christen said with a smile. 

Tobin yawned before she could respond which made Christen cackle. "We need to change before you fall asleep."

"I'm fine." Tobin whined.

Christen rolled her eyes and her body so she could stand up. She turned to look at Tobin. "I'm going to change in the bathroom. Is five minutes long enough for you?"

"Stay." 

"What?" Christen asked.

"Stay. We can both change here. If you want." Tobin said quietly.

"Are you sure?"

Tobin nodded. "I'm positive. I'm not ready for anything except kissing, but if I can't get used to changing in the same room as you, not facing each other, I won't be ready for anything. Baby steps."

Christen smiled. "We snuggling tonight too?" Her acceptance clear in her voice.

"Of course! Gots to get my snuggles!" Tobin said before she jumped up.

Christen just rolled her eyes and turned to get her stuff to change. "You are such a dork."

She heard a chuckle. "But I'm your dork."

Christen smiled to herself. "Best dork in the world."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobin's a dork. enough said.
> 
> lol never enough said. I kept smiling while writing this so i think you all should be happy, but let me know.
> 
> thoughts? comments? Questions? Ideas?


	13. Tobin isn't the only one who struggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley sheds some light on Christens past.
> 
> And Tobin does good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter probably isn't what you expect when Kelley O'Hara rocks up.
> 
> I own nothing but the mistakes.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.

Tobin bolted out of the changerooms and headed straight for the footballs. She hadn’t touched on in what felt like a month.

“HEATH!”

She skidded to a halt. “Yes?”

Anson came across. “Have you seen the physio and doctor yet?”

“Yesir?” She said shakily.

“Heath?”

“No.”

Anson rolled his eyes. “Take Long and go. I spoke to Dawn, you have to get strapped up before you do anything.”

“But, the ball…”

“It will be there once you are ready to train. Scoot.”

Tobin pouted before she slumped and turned to walk dejectedly back to the change rooms. Allie came up next to her. “It will take five minutes Harry.”

“Five minutes more away from the ball.”

Allie just rolled her eyes and led her into the changerooms. Dr Andrews was waiting for them in the treatment room.

He was methodical. Once Tobin had her shirt off he strapped her up as quickly as he could but ensured he did it properly. He explained and told the teen everything that was happening, especially since she couldn’t see. Her shoulder was strapped for support, as was her elbow, and there was strapping to help with her posture as well to ensure if she did fall, it had as much support as possible.

Once the doctor was finished, he handed her a package. “In here is two long sleeve versions of all out kits, as well as two compression long sleeve shirts in every base colour we use. We thought that you may be more comfortable if the strapping was covered. It should also help keep it on for longer as well.”

Tobin quickly changed into the long sleeve training shirt. She smiled. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now get out of here.”

"Thank you!" Tobin beamed before bolting out the door. Allie just rolled her eyes at the eagerness. “It’s times like this you forget she’s a genius and remember she is still a kid.” She turned to the doctor. “What will that strapping do?”

Dr Andrews smiled. “She is definitely still a kid.” He sighed. “The shoulder strapping is trying to keep it stable. She has strength exercises from the National Team to build it up, so the strapping potentially one day isn’t needed, but right now it is keeping it in place. It will limit her mobility, so no throw ins. Her arm doesn’t straighten. That strapping is almost locking her arm in at an angle of about 120 degrees. She can still get movement for running and a good stance for balance, but if she falls it should stop it from hyperextending.”

“You don’t sound confident.” Allie said.

The Dr shrugged. “If she goes five years without that arm or shoulder needing some sort of operation, I will be impressed. I am most worried about her back. The strapping is for her posture and keeping her shoulder blade from shifting. But again, if she falls the wrong way, that shoulder blade could go too.”

“It sounds like a mess.”

The Dr nodded. “Understatement of the century. If she does all the work she has been given to strengthen it, it will be easier after it inevitably happens. It’s a shit way of putting it, but we have all seen Tobin play. She is fearless and jumps in. She gets knocked around more than most.”

* * *

Tobin was on a collision course and the team was watching her run while trying not to laugh. She had tunnel vision, and nothing would stop her.

“Hey ba-“ Tobin blew straight past her girlfriend without a word. “What the?”

The team just chuckled. “Tobin’s first love beats out her new one.” Yael exclaimed.

Christen turned with the rest of the team and watched as Tobin got to the pile of footballs. She immediately flicked one up and started juggling, smiling and happy as can be.

“Can someone please try take it? I want to see her reaction.” Allie chuckled after a couple minutes.

Ash quickly jogged around to Tobin. The teen saw her coming and grabbed the ball out of mid-air and hugged it to herself. She took a step back and looked warily at the keeper. “My ball.”

Ash pouted. “Naw come on.”

“Nope. Mine.” Tobin took a few steps back and started juggling again, still with a smile. “Get your own.”

Ash darted forward and tried to grab it, but Tobin was prepared. She grabbed it and ran. “ASHLYN LEAVE ME ALONE!”

“BUT I WANT TO PLAY TOO!” Ash was chasing her much to everyone’s amusement.

“IT’S MY BALL!”

“Oh screw it.” The team took off after the teen and were all laughing. Tobin was laughing and yelling back over her shoulder.

“LET ME JUGGLE IN PEACE!” She yelled over her shoulder. “I JUST WANT TO JUGGLE!”

Anson Dorrance was looking on from the sideline in amusement. It made him happy seeing his team enjoying their time together and joking around. Especially Tobin. Her first season was rough, and her sophomore season was essentially just the team trying to get her to trust and open up to them. This year, she had thrived. He believed the National Team had helped her come out of her shell and embrace who she was. And he was aware of her relationship with Christen. He may be old, but he wasn’t blind. That, more than anything else, gave her confidence.

He was brought out of his musings when Tobin came and hid behind. “Coach, they are trying to steal my ball.”

He watched as the team stopped in front of him. “Are they? Well, I think it’s time for training to start anyway.” He took the ball from the teen and smiled. “Go warm up.”

Tobin pouted until she got a ball back at her feet.

* * *

It was a hard-fought game against Stanford which ended up 2-2. Christen was targeted by Stanford players but she didn’t react. Tobin played the last 30 minutes after missing a month and immediately got to work. She didn’t hold back. She showed no fear and had look of intense concentration on her face.

She looked happy when the final whistle went. She got through her first real test with her shoulder and the strapping was comfortable and didn’t obstruct anything. The only time it hindered her was when she took a quick throw, and even then it was only a bit uncomfortable.

Tobin shook hands before looking for Christen, wanting to tell her the good news. It took her a couple of minutes to find her, standing with a small group of Stanford players. She couldn’t see her face and didn’t read the situation. She just ran across and leaped on her back.

Christen stumbled before she laughed tightly. “Tobin you scared me!”

The Stanford players looked at her like she had two heads. All except for one.

“Little bounce!” Kelley exclaimed.

Tobin frowned from her place on Christens back. “I’m taller than you now.” She slid down to hug the girl. “Hey Kelley.”

Kelley grinned but before she could say anything, one of the players from Stanford scoffed. “Freaks.”

Tobin looked taken aback, Christen was stunned and Kelley was gobsmacked.

“Excuse me?” Tobin said.

The player rolled her eyes. “I can see why Press came here. To join the nerds who don’t fit in. You’re the nerd right? The one who barely left her room or spoke for two years? Must be a match made in heaven.”

Christen was frowning. Tobin was confused as to why her past was being brought up. Kelley stepped in. “All you needed to do was shake hands and walk away.”

The three Stanford players didn’t care. “No. We want to know if she freaks out here too, or if it was just for our benefit. We had to deal with her for two years of road trips and weirdness. We deserve to know.”

Christen smiled tightly. “You don’t deserve anything.” She turned and started walking away with Tobin by her side.

“Chris-“

“Why didn’t I remember they would be here?”

“Chris-“

“I hated rooming with them. God, how did they corner me in the middle of football pitch!”

Tobin turned and stood in front of Christen. “Relax Chris. They’re gone.”

Christen looked drained. “Tobin…”

“Don’t tell me anything until you are ready okay? You don’t have to rush it. If you need to go and stay in our room and not got to dinner, that’s fine. You need to do what’s best for you.”

Christen nodded. “I just need a shower for now.”

Tobin smiled. “Okay. Go in. I’ll meet you there.”

Christen walked in without another word, not looking back. Tobin turned to see Kelley coming across to her. She crossed her arms and frowned. “What the hell was that?”

Kelley sighed. “Shit. It was bullshit. Can I crash at your dorm tonight? I need to check on Christen.”

Tobin nodded. “You already were. Meet us at the field entrance at 6pm. We are leaving from there for dinner.”

Kelley nodded but grinned slightly. “When did you get so assertive?” Tobin smiled but walked into the changerooms without answering. “OI! LITTLE BOUNCE! I WANT AN ANSWER!”

* * *

Tobin was the last one to finish changing because she had to get the strapping removed. She then had to rush back to her dorm to get her phone before returning to wait for Perry to pick them up. What she saw confused her.

Allie and Ash were standing together with Allie’s boyfriend Bati. They weren’t saying much but were watching Kelley and Christen.

Kelley looked to be consoling Christen and the med student looked like she was close to pulling her hair out. She looked so stressed and was talking quickly.

Tobin didn’t know what to do. She stood about 50 metres back frowning.

In her mind she knew that Kelley knew what was worrying Christen more than she did, so her consoling her and talking to her was expected. But she also felt like she should be helping. Her head was telling her to go join Ash and Harry, but her heart said go across and check on Christen.

Allie had noticed Tobin stop and nudged Ash. “What’s that about?”

Ash looked across and frowned. “I’m not sure. She looks, I don’t know, conflicted?”

At that moment, Christen threw her hands up and started remonstrating and gesturing wildly at Kelley and the Stanford player just pulled her into her arms and held her tight. It drew their attention.

Bati was the only one who had kept watching Tobin and pushed off the wall and walked over to her quickly. The teen had reacted to Christen and was on her way across.

He got to her about 30 metres away from Kelley and Christen. “Easy kiddo.” He put a hand around her waist and pulled her across to the side.

“Bati? What the hell?” Tobin said.

“You remembered my name? Brilliant. I thought I’d just be energy drink guy.” He didn’t let up on his grip on Tobin’s waist.

“I remember everything. What are you doing?” Tobin exclaimed.

“Stopping you from interrupting a very emotional moment. Getting a bit jealous?”

“I am worried! Is that a crime?”

Bati stopped about 20 meters away from his girlfriend and 40 from Christen. “Not at all. But do you know what is happening?”

“Well, no –“

“Has she asked for you yet?”

Tobin frowned. “No.”

Bati smiled. “Can I give you some advice?”

“No.”

“I’m going to anyway. Right now, she has the person she needs to explode too. The person who knows her best, at least about what happened at Stanford. Once she has gotten it all out, she will come to you. Who do you go to when you blow?”

Tobin paused. “Depends on what it’s about.”

“Do you go to the person who knows the most and can help the most? And do you try to keep it away from Christen until you are ready?”

Tobin nodded. “I guess.”

Bati smiled and wrapped his arm around Tobin’s shoulders. “That is all Christen is doing. No need to get jealous. They are allowed to be close.”

“I’m not jealous.”

Bati chuckled. “What would you have done if you had gotten across to Chris?”

“Given her a hug.” Bati just looked at her knowingly. Tobin rolled her eyes. “Probably pushed Kelley out of the way. Then given her a hug.”

Bati laughed. Tobin blushed. “Don’t be embarrassed. It happens to all of us.” He nudged her and gestured across to the others. The four had converged and were talking with each other. Ash had put her arm around Christen. “See? We all need more than just our girlfriends.”

Before Tobin could respond, Perry pulled up in the four-wheel drive. The seven-seater would fit the six college kids easily.

Bati got in the front seat and introduced himself to Perry while Ash and Allie got in the back row. Christen sat in between Kelley and Tobin in the middle row and tucked herself into the genius.

Kelley, trying to break the tension, beamed. “So where we going?”

Ash and Allie looked at each other and grinned. “Nonna’s.”

Tobin groaned, which caused Christen to chuckle. “It isn’t even Tuesday. It’s Sunday.”

Perry just shrugged. “That just means we can pick off the menu. Everyone okay with Italian?”

Five yeses and a groan replied, which made her smile. “Nonna’s it is.”

* * *

Dinner was relaxed. There was no mention of the game or Christens time at Stanford. They didn’t say much about school at all. They talked about National Camps, people they knew, soccer and Perry got asked about work. It was almost as though no one wanted to say something that would trigger a bad reaction.

Kelley grilled the new couple about their relationship which caused them both to blush bright red. “It’s been a month Kelley, please stop making sexual innuendos in front of my sister.” Tobin gritted out.

That comment set Allie and Ash off and they then spent the rest of the night trying to see how red they could get Tobin to go. Perry just grinned at her sister and shrugged. “I don’t want to see it, but you know that you can talk to me about this as well. I just won’t make jokes about it.”

Kelley piped in. “If you think this is bad, you should meet Christens Dad. He always has jokes.”

“About his daughters sex life?” Allie asked which caused Christen to choke on her water.

“Well, no. But he will have some jokes.”

Christen cleared her throat. “Can we move on please?” She jerked her head to Tobin.

The table could see she was genuinely uncomfortable and backed off. The teen wasn’t used to all the jokes at her expense and even though it was in good fun, she was uncomfortable. Any jokes directed at her usually came with a hurtful comment.

“Do you still need help with your chemistry homework Tobin?” Kelley asked.

The teen visibly relaxed. “No, I breeze through that. I just wish I could pick more of them as electives and have some fun with it. I got to blow something up the other day. Well, not on purpose but it was fun!”

“What are you degrees again?”

“Neuroscience, Mathematics and Physics.” Tobin shrugged. “They are okay.”

Perry looked like that was news to her but didn’t interrupt them.

“Oh yeah?”

Tobin shrugged. “I mean, they are challenging, but I am looking forward to finishing my Neuroscience degree so I can pick some subjects that are interesting. Just for me.”

Kelley nodded. “I get that. I get so few electives cause it’s a double. Christen is probably the same with all the pre-med requirements. You have to find something you either really enjoy or something really easy to fill your credit points. What are you thinking?”

Tobin looked at Christen and grinned. “No idea. But I have time to figure it out.”

* * *

Christen had seemingly passed out in Tobin’s lap as soon as she could, leaving the two other college students sitting there awkwardly ignoring the elephant in the room.

Kelley was never patient though. “You aren’t going to ask?”

Tobin looked up. “Do I have a right to?”

“You are her girlfriend.”

“She hasn’t told me yet though. Not all of it at least.”

Kelley sighed. “It will probably help if you know."

"Kelley...

"You know Chris has anxiety?” Kelley interrupted.

Tobin nodded. “She needs everything to be super organised. It helps her. But shouldn't she be telling me this?”

Kelley just ignored her. “Right. And you know Stanford’s pre-med program is brilliant? Some of the best hospitals around, best teachers, heaps of funding.”

“Yeah…”

“Cool. Chris excelled with the academics, but never thought it was good enough. No lie, smartest person I know other than you. And she preferred to focus on her books rather than the party aspect of college. She spent every spare moment trying to live up to this image she had made in her head about the perfect med-student. She rarely went out and if she did, she was reserved and hid, worried that she was doing something wrong. She was never comfortable out there.”

“Chris said you helped her embrace who she was. That being your roommate helped her step out a bit.” Tobin was confused.

Kelley smiled. “I think it did, but she was only comfortable in our room. I’m the only one who saw the real Chris. Here, she lights up the room and can take it over when necessary. That dinner tonight would have never happened in Stanford. She came to dinner with my family or hers. No one else.”

Tobin frowned before Kelley continued. “A small part of the team, not the best players but some of the more popular ones, loved to fuck with her. Move her stuff out of order, make her late. Whatever would wind her up, they did.”

“They didn’t understand, did they? They didn’t get it. They just thought it was funny.” Tobin said quietly.

“Yea. And they made her life hell on road trips to entertain themselves. After the sophomore season, she quit. It wasn’t fun anymore. She wasn’t happy.” Kelley sighed. “She threw herself into studying, more than normal, to prove that she was smart enough to be in the pre-med program, not just a soccer player who had been gifted a place, so she played for the college. And it burnt her out.”

Tobin frowned. “What happened next?”

Kelley chuckled darkly. “She had a massive freak out at the end of April, ranting about how she wasn’t good enough. At least 50 times worse than tonight’s. I had to call the paramedics. It was bad. After a 72-hour psych eval, she went home for a week. Came back, finished her classes, and was a shell of herself. The whole college stressed her out. It was the best, so she had to be the best. When she was home, she’d applied for a transfer. Stanford put her in a negative mind space, and she had to get back to a positive one. She got it, an academic scholarship to boot and jumped on a plane. She had heard there was this smart kid on the team that was well looked after. UNC promised they would do the same for her.”

Tobin looked down at the sleeping girl in her arms. “She went through all that?”

“When she says she understands, she really does. The best thing for her was becoming your roommate.”

“How?”

“You level each other out. You are both very smart and have some similar, I don’t want to say issues, but struggles. You both get it, and neither of you feel the push to go and party and do all that. You just let each other be, but you also have a whole group of people who support that. You don’t get pressured into changing. Stanford wanted to change Chris, or she wanted to change for Stanford. Have you ever seen Christen study all night?”

“Never. She is always in bed by 11pm because of her routine.”

Kelley chuckled. “Being up all night was a regular occurrence. I would wear an eye mask. Stanford destroyed her routine and her balance. It changed her. UNC helps her keep it. UNC is a better fit for her, and I am so happy she is happy. UNC lets her be herself.”

Tobin frowned. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Just be you. And let Chris be Chris. She will tell you the rest eventually I am sure.”

“That wasn’t all of it?”

Kelley shook her head. “Cliff notes version.”

Tobin sighed before she leant across and turned the bedside light out. “Good night Kell.”

* * *

Neither girl mentioned their conversation again. Kelley took the pair out for breakfast and was absolutely elated that Christen was this light and happy woman, not the drained, emotional and nervy one.

Kelley’s departure was emotional. Christen and her spent a good ten minutes hugging and crying. Kelley seemed to be reassuring Christen it was all okay. Once she left, Christen latched onto Tobin and didn’t let her go. She seemed to be reeling.

It took a few days before Christen was back to being herself. Once she was centred and ready, she spoke to Tobin.

“Honey?”

Tobin looked up from her book. “Yeah?”

"I was awake."

"Oh." Tobin was a bit stiff. 

“Do you want to know about Stanford? Not just what Kelley saw?”

Tobin closed her book and turned to face her girlfriend. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, but I think it is something I need to talk about. Especially since tomorrow we are getting on a plane and I am sure someone will say something.” Christen was nervous.

Tobin smiled. “Are you happy you left and came to UNC?”

“Best decision I ever made.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m happy. I haven’t had a panic attack, I’m centred and I’m happy. Stanford was a great school, but I didn’t suit it.”

Tobin grinned. “That’s all I need to know. If anyone says anything, I’ll just say you are happy. They are your family. That’s all they should care about. When you actually want to talk about how it made you feel, I'll be here. You wait for me to come to you when I am ready. I can do the same.”

Christen teared up and nodded. Tobin’s eyes went wide. “What did I do?”

Christen laughed tearily. “You are perfect.”

Tobin was still concerned she had messed up when she was tackled in a hug. “I did good?”

“So good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am taking a few days to reset before uni and I am travelling up to watch the Matildas in Olympic Qualification.
> 
> When I get back, probs a Saturday Sydney time update, updates will probably slow down a bit. Uni is back so if I want to graduate, I have to actually put some time and effort. Even if I much prefer writing stories. I can't wait till I have free time that is actually not meant to be used for study!
> 
> I'll try update every couple of days. And the update will be on the story that has been left alone the longest. Honestly, I will try and update each story at least once every 7-10 days, which is three chapters a week. I have found routine helps me, (yes like Christen), so I will try and stick to it. 
> 
> Love you all.  
ellaaa25xoxo
> 
> PS. as I update this, this story is on 666 Kudos. Fucking awesome. You are brilliant


	14. Thanksgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Perry meet the Press Pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer; i know very little about what happens at a thanksgiving dinner. THis is more centred on conversations happening around the weekend. It's a bit different - but i liked it.
> 
> It took a while but it is here. I hope you all enjoy.

Tobin didn’t do big events with lots of people. She didn’t even do small events. She didn’t do the hugging thing or the talking about yourself thing. She did the hide in the other room with your head in a book avoiding the world thing. Tobin was an expert at that.

However, Tobin would do anything for Christen. So when Cody and Stacey picked them up at the airport and enveloped the teen in a hug as a greeting, she didn’t complain. She was stiff and awkward, but it actually came across as adorable and endeared the Press parents to her more.

Perry and Christen were proud of Tobin, but they didn’t mention it. She wouldn’t appreciate it.

The five of them got settled in the car and Stacey turned around from the front seat and smiled at the three in the back. “Traffic has been horrendous. This will probably be a long trip. Do you want any food or anything on the way home?”

The three all answered yes, not having eaten on the plane. Tobin was sitting in the middle of the trio and fidgeting. “Stacey?” She asked quietly.

“Yes dear?”

“Can we get Chipotle?” She looked so hopeful.

Stacey grinned. “Of course.”

Tobin seemed to relax back into her seat. “Awesome.”

* * *

They ate their Chipotle in the backseat. Perry seemed to drive the conversation in the car, sensing the younger two wouldn’t, and spoke of her work in the architecture firm with the older Press’. Tobin ate her food quickly and fell asleep on Christens shoulder. Cody caught sight of it in the rear-view mirror and chuckled. “Does she always nap after she eats?”

Christen rolled her eyes but Perry chuckled. “Only when she spends the night working on an assignment. She wanted to make sure nothing distracted her over this weekend.”

“We wouldn’t have cared if she studied while she was here.” Stacey said.

“I told her that. But she was adamant.” Perry shrugged. “She’s Tobin. Once she gets her mind set on something, she isn’t changing it. It was a hard when she was a kid but now it’s easier to manage.”

Cody snorted. “What did she do?”

Perry sighed and looked at her sister fondly. “Little things which teachers didn’t know how to respond to. She went through a month-long period when she would sit in every chair before her own, just to be sure no one had moved it. Once she answered all her English homework in Portuguese because her 8th grade teacher didn’t believe she knew it. She got detention but it was worth it apparently. I had never seen her so proud before. It was like she had won the World Cup.” Perry shrugged. “If she really set her mind to it, nothing will stop her.”

* * *

“Christen, you and Tobin will be in your room and Perry, you are in the room next to them, which is Tyler’s. Channing and Tyler are already here and sharing Channing’s room, much to their horror.” Stacey said with a grin.

Christen groaned. “They are going to tease me, aren’t they? For Tobin staying with me?”

“Technically you are all having to share a room. But you are the only one who-”

“DON’T finish that sentence.” Christen said, blushing. Tobin was very interested in the floorboards.

“Well you’re no fun.” Stacey joked, which Perry chuckled at. “I told them to take it easy on you both. Go and chill out before dinner. You have about an hour.”

Christen led Tobin into her bedroom while Stacey showed Perry to hers. Tobin was looking at the room in wonder. “This is your room?”

The room was amazing. A queen bed in the middle of one wall, built in wardrobe on the wall across from the foot of the bed with a chest of drawers beside it. There was a big window with a really comfortable looking window seat. On either side of the window, were bookcases that were full to the brim with books. Novels, textbooks, reference books. Tobin even saw some notebooks stacked at the bottom. On the opposite wall was a desk and very comfortable looking beanbag next to it. It was clean now, but Tobin could imagine Christen bunkered down and studying throughout high school, before moving to flop in the beanbag after she was done.

Christen nodded and sat on the edge of her bed. “Yeah. Spent most of my school life in here. Had to make sure it was comfortable.”

Tobin frowned. “Really?”

“Other than soccer and after school clubs, yeah. It was my safe haven.”

“Was?”

Christen chuckled. “Yeah. Why are you surprised?”

“I guess I just forgot that we went through similar things.” Tobin said quietly as she sat next to her girlfriend. “What is your safe haven now?”

Christen shrugged. “Our room. And you.” Tobin looked stunned but Christen just continued talking. “It’s the place I feel safest and where I can be myself.”

The pair were silent. Tobin was digesting the new information and Christen was loving being back in her room. She flopped back to lie down and pulled Tobin with her. They both just laid there with their hands entwined, content and quiet.

“Where was your safe-haven? In your home I mean. Not Kate’s or Nonna’s.” Christen asked after a spell. She was curious.

Tobin shrugged. “It changed every time we moved.”

“Your first one then. When you lived on campus with Perry. Little Tobs happy spot.” Christen said. She was wondering how many times Tobin had moved, but that was a conversation for later.

“The couch.”

Christen made a face. “That’s boring.”

Tobin grinned. “Technically, it was under the couch.”

“What?!” Christen exclaimed and sat up. Tobin laughed as she nodded, still staring at the ceiling. Christen could feel the bed shake with Tobin’s movement.

Tobin looked up at Christen with a loving expression. “We had a tiny apartment on campus. There was no space for Perry or me to do much anywhere. And, for the year or so before we figured out the best way to channel my energy and interests, and before I started at soccer, I was annoying Perry all the time while she was trying to do her study and stuff because I was bored and had nowhere to go. So, we spent all day one Sunday moving the furniture in the living room and turned it into a massive fort/room for me. The couch was tipped up so I could burrow under the back of it. All my books and stuff were in this fort. It was the best place. Perry even let me pin some pictures up on the sheets we used as walls and put butchers’ paper down in a corner so I could draw massive pictures.”

“That sounds amazing! But, why couldn’t you do that in your room?” Christen asked, amazed.

Tobin shrugged. “It was barely big enough for a bed. Each bedroom was probably a third of our dorm, the living room about half the size and the bathroom was about the same as what we have now. So, I ended up with the living room as my bedroom. I lived in this fort. My bed was moved, and we managed to finagle it so it all fit in this fort. Perry had to do a secret knock to get in and everything. My room ended up being her study.”

Christen smiled at Tobin. “You have an amazing sister.” She laid down next to her and put her head on Tobin’s shoulder.

Tobin beamed. “She is the best sister anyone could ever ask for.”

* * *

“Should I be worried?” Perry asked. She gestured to Tobin being led outside by Cody.

Stacey shook her head. “He’s harmless.” Perry cocked an eyebrow. “Truly. He couldn’t hurt a fly. He has this ongoing joke with boyfriends, and now girlfriends, the girls bring home. This is the first time Christen has been the one on the receiving end.”

Perry frowned. “That doesn’t really put me at ease.”

Stacey sighed and put the cup of tea in front of Perry before she sat down. “That’s a loaded statement.” She didn’t push, she never did. She just gave Perry an opening and if she wanted to take it, she could.

“It’s the truth. I don’t enjoy having to pull my sister out of her head when someone fucks with it.” Perry was blunt.

“Sounds like it’s happened a fair bit.”

“More times than I can count.” Perry said quietly.

Stacey put her hand on Perry’s. “You don’t have to be on guard here.”

Perry smiled tightly. “I’m always on guard. I have been since I was 18. If I had been on guard earlier, Tobin would be okay.”

“She looks alright to me.” They could see her standing next to Cody with a slight blush on her face. He was grinning.

“She has demons.”

“So does Christen.” Perry huffed but Stacey just smiled. “Your sister may have demons, but she makes my daughter smile. That’s all I care about.”

Perry looked disbelieving. “You aren’t going to ask what they are? What happened to her? Why she is the way she is?”

“No. If one day Tobin or you want to tell me, I’ll sit here and listen. But if all I ever know is that you two are sisters, that’s all I know. Because Tobin makes Christen happier than I have ever seen. And after the Stanford issues, that is all I want for her.”

Perry looked stunned. “You really mean that?”

Stacey just gestured outside and shrugged. Perry smiled when she saw Tobin and Cody were laughing together, and Tobin looked happy. “Your past is yours. But we are here if you want us to be.”

* * *

“So Tobin.” Cody started, which made the teen nervous. They were sitting outside after dinner and everyone else was still inside talking. “You are aware I said there were two conditions when I said I’d tell you embarrassing stories about Christen.”

“Yes sir.” Tobin said. Cody made a face.

“Okay, three conditions. First, never call me sir. I’m Cody.” He said with a smile.

“Yes si-Cody.” Tobin replied with a blush.

Cody grinned. “Nice save.” Tobin smiled slightly. “Second, you said you hurt yourself skateboarding into a door.” Tobin’s face fell and she looked at her shoes. Cody sighed and spoke softly. “I know that isn’t the full story. And that’s fine. You don’t have to tell me anything.” You could see the teen visibly relax. “However, I want you to know, that if you need someone to talk to, not your sister or Christen or your friends, you can call me. I don’t know about your life or your past, and I won’t ask Christen or your sister. If one day, you want to tell me, I will gladly listen. What I do know is that you only have your sister as your family. If you need a Dad, or just a guy to talk to, you can come to me.”

Tobin sniffed and nodded, overwhelmed. “Thanks Cody.” Cody put his arm around her and felt her flinch. He didn’t mention it, but he also didn’t move it. “I haven’t had a dad in a long time.”

“I’m here if you need me. Even if you just need a different person to talk to. A different perspective. Maybe one that is unbiased.”

Tobin leant into the arm and sighed happily. They just sat there for a while until Cody felt Tobin settle herself again. “Are you ready for number 3?” He asked with a mischievous grin.

Tobin chuckled and wiped her nose. “Yeah?”

“Call me ‘Big Daddy’ in front of Christen during this weekend. It’ll give her the shits and we can bond over it.”

Tobin snorted in laughter and Cody joined her quite quickly. They spent a good minute or two chuckling, unaware of the group inside watching them with a small grin. Channing and Tyler had stopped their teasing of Christen while Perry and Stacey weren’t talking over their cups of tea, just watching happily.

* * *

Stacey and Cody were reading in bed when Cody sighed and put his book down. “Stacey?”

“Yes honey?”

Cody looked at his wife sadly. “Did Perry say anything about their past?”

Stacey put her book down. “Not really. She’s guarded. But you can see how protective she is over Tobin.”

“Christen hasn’t said much either. Just that they don’t have any other family. And that Tobin was unique.” Cody said with a slight smile. “She definitely is unique.”

“In a good way. She is good for Christen. I haven’t seen her this happy in years.”

“UNC is good for her.” Cody sighed. “I think something bad happened to Tobin.”

Stacey nodded sadly. “I do too.”

“All I want to do is give her a hug.” Cody slumped down. “She is just a kid.”

“All we can do is give them a safe space to be. And, if Tobin is happy, Perry will be by default. She may be almost 30, but she needs a home too.” Stacey said with a sad smile. “I think she had to grow up way too soon.”

“They both did.” Cody sighed. “Perry may be Tobin’s sister, but she is also her Mum.”

“We just have to be here. Make sure they are comfortable and enjoy themselves.”

“It doesn’t seem like enough Stacey.” Cody complained.

“I know. But it is all we can do.”

* * *

Tobin was curled up around Christen and comfortable, but she wasn’t asleep. Christen was checking her phone before she put it down and snuggled into Tobin. “What did my Dad say? You two were laughing about it towards the end.” Christen gave Tobin an opening to talk if she wanted to, but it would be easy to deflect.

Tobin grinned into Christens shoulder. “I was sworn to secrecy.”

Christen pouted. “Please?”

Tobin shook her head cheekily and kissed the put away. “No. I want to get my embarrassing stories.”

Christen groaned. “They aren’t even that bad.”

“Then tell me yourself.” Tobin countered.

“Okay, some are pretty bad.” Christen said quickly. “But he shouldn’t rat me out. I’m his daughter!” Christen complained.

Tobin just rolled her eyes at that. Christen frowned. “What?”

Tobin sighed. “Who knows these stories?”

“Probably just family. Why?” Christen asked.

Tobin chuckled. “What does that tell you about how he feels? And how that conversation went tonight?”

Christen thought hard for a minute before it dawned on her. “He thinks of you as family.”

Tobin kissed her. “Your Dad is awesome.”

* * *

Tobin was pacing in Christens room and the med student had no idea what to do get her to settle. She wasn’t dressed for dinner, she wasn’t even looking at the clothes she had brought. Something was bothering her, and it had her locked in her head. It was a different kind of anxious that Christen hadn’t seen from Tobin before. It was like she was unsure of herself, and that was rare for Tobin. When she was comfortable, she was in her element. This was weird.

Christen could have slapped herself when she figured it out. This wasn’t Tobin’s area of expertise. She knew a lot, but circumventing and navigating family was not something she knew how to do. It would be utterly foreign to her.

Before the med student could spiral into the abyss of self-doubt and annoyance at her own miss, there was a knock on the door and Stacey came in with a slight smile. “Christen honey? Could you please go and help Perry in the kitchen? I left her with your sisters and I think she needs some backup.” Stacey’s tone was friendly, but Christen could tell it wasn’t a request she could turn down.

“Sure Mum.” Christen turned to Tobin who was still pacing and smiled her small smile. “I’ll see you soon love.”

Christen closed the door behind her and Stacey sat on Christens desk chair while Tobin paced. She let her go for a few minutes before she spoke.

“This is my favourite room in the house.”

Tobin didn’t stop pacing in front of the window.

“It has the most originality to it. Christen could control this, so everything in here was done her way. She even put the furniture together.”

“You let Christen near power tools? Was that smart?” Tobin didn’t stop pacing, nor did she look up, but she was communicating.

Stacey chuckled. “Cody helped. But if I was going to hand one of my kids a drill, it would be Christen.”

“Why?”

“Channing is a free spirit. She’d somehow try to turn it into an abstract work of art. Tyler’s skills lie in arguing. Christen has the hands of a fixer. A maker. A doctor.” Stacey explained. “Who would build a bookcase out of you or Perry?”

Tobin steps were slowing but her hands were fiddling with her hem and her eyes weren’t making contact with Stacey. “Perry.”

“Why?”

“She is an architect. She could design it and go from start to finish all by herself.” Tobin said.

“That’s fair.” Stacey said. Tobin was slowing. “Where do your skills lie? What are you best at?”

“Depends on who you ask.” Tobin muttered. “Soccer or school I guess.”

“Not socialising?” Stacey took the leap.

Tobin paused on her pacing, but kept her eyes on the floor. “No.”

Stacey smiled softly, but Tobin didn’t see it. “From what I have heard from Christen, you are really open around your friends.”

“They know me, and how I am. I'm comfortable there.” Tobin murmured.

“You don’t want to be yourself here?” Stacey asked.

Tobin finally turned from where she was standing and looked at Stacey. “I don’t want to embarrass Chris in front of her family.”

“Honey. You could never do that.” Stacey said quietly. “We’ve gotten to know the real Tobin the last few days, right?” Tobin nodded and wiped her eyes. “Did we make you feel uncomfortable?”

Tobin shrugged. “No, but I don’t know how to be comfortable around a family. Or a big group of people.”

“Are you happy here?”

Tobin nodded.

“So what is it that is making you pace?”

“I don’t know what to expect, or how to act. I don’t know who will be kind if I do something I always do at home. I don’t know Stacey. I don’t know what to do.” Tobin sniffed and hugged herself.

Stacey stood and approached Tobin slowly. “That’s okay. Because I know exactly who is going to be here soon, and I know the answers to your questions. But there is something you need to answer first.”

Tobin looked confused behind her glasses but Stacey was serious. “Do you want to stay up here tonight? You don’t have to come down if you aren’t ready. Big groups aren’t fun.”

Tobin immediately shook her head. “I need to do this. I just want to be comfortable.”

Stacey smiled. “I can help with that.”

Stacey spent the next 30 minutes talking to Tobin about who was coming, what they did, how they were related, even what they would probably wear and talk about. She gave her honest impressions and opinions, anything she thought would help the teen relax. Tobin was someone who did better with all the information in front of her, and Stacey knew she would hate any surprises. Once Tobin knew all Stacey could think of telling her, she looked genuinely relieved and slightly prepared.

“Stacey?”

“Yes?”

Tobin looked confused. “Why did you do this for me?”

Stacey smiled. “You are the person who makes my daughter smile, laugh and dream again. But I would do this for you even if you weren’t, because everyone deserves to feel comfortable in the place they are living.”

Tobin nodded and swallowed. “Thank you. For understanding.”

Stacey shrugged. “You’re very welcome. Do you need any more help? Maybe with the clothes that have been on the bed this whole time?”

Tobin made a face. “I don’t like dresses that much.”

“Then don’t wear one.”

“Doesn’t everyone dress up for Thanksgiving?” Tobin looked bewildered.

“No.” Stacey grinned slyly. “Tobin love, you aren’t like everyone else. That’s an amazing thing. If you want to wear sweats and would feel more comfortable in them, wear them. We just want Tobin there, not a girl who is uncomfortable in her own skin.”

Stacey left with a smile and Tobin was astounded. She moved to her suitcase utterly dazed. As she dug through for her favourite jeans, she started smiling.

“Stacey is awesome.”

* * *

Tobin spent Thanksgiving dinner sitting in between her sister Perry and Christen, and across from Stacey and Cody. She was wearing her own jeans and shirt, unlike most others who were dressed up quite nicely in dresses and suits. Stacey had assured her that her comfort was the most important thing and to prove it, had provided her with a Stanford hoodie from Christens draw. She grinned when Stacey told her it was originally Cody’s and that Christen had stolen it first. She was boxed in and as much as she didn’t normally like being in an enclosed space, she was comfortable. She felt safe.

She let the conversation flood over her and just focused on staying calm. If something came up that made her react negatively, the conversation was smoothly re-directed. It didn’t happen too often and the Press family seemed to know that the quiet girl didn’t want any attention.

The sure fire way to get her to laugh was to tell a story about Christen as a kid. Nothing to embarrassing, they were saved for Cody when Tobin was ready, but enough to show Tobin that everyone had a past.

_“You caused your middle school to evacuate?”_

_“I didn’t mean to set the fire alarm off!”_

The group of at least 20 Press family members could see how adorable the young couple was and they had no problems doing whatever they could to make her feel comfortable.

Besides, if she made Christen smile like they had never seen before, she must be someone special.

* * *

Perry was watching her sister muck around with Christen and her sisters, playing a game of snap in the lounge room. Most of the party had left, and it was just the Heath’s and Christens family left. Cody was cleaning in the kitchen and Stacey had just stood next to Perry. She handed her a glass of wine with a smile.

Perry took it gratefully. “I forgot how crazy Thanksgiving was.”

“When was your last one?” Stacey asked.

“1994. I was 15, Tobin was 3. Our family died in June of ’95. Haven’t had one since.”

Stacey put her arm around the younger woman, even though she was taller than her. “I’m sorry. That can’t have been easy.”

“It’s been over 13 years.”

“It doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt.” Stacey said quietly. Cody came across from the kitchen and stood next to his wife silently. They were watching the girls have fun and the laughter was echoing.

Perry sighed. “I haven’t seen her like this. Not with people she has just met.”

“Christen helps her I am sure.” Cody said.

“It’s not that. Tobin seems, content I guess is the right word. She is happy in the moment. She is barely even fidgeting.” Perry chugged the wine.

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Cody asked.

“It’s amazing.” Perry turned to look at the older couple. “Tobin has lots of little idiosyncrasies that make her who she is. Fidgeting is a staple that rarely goes away, even when she is sleeping. It’s what makes her excuse about Ali even funnier.”

Cody and Stacey were utterly confused and Perry chuckled. “Tobin’s friend Ali went to stay with them, and Tobin said that she needed to share a bed with Christen because Ali kicks in her sleep. Considering Tobin has left bruises on me from her tossing and turning, I thought it was a bit rich.”

Cody snorted into his wine while Stacey laughed heartily. The girls didn’t hear a word because the music was still playing.

“I’ve looked in on them though and Tobin is wrapped around Christen and not moving.” Stacey exclaimed.

Perry nodded. “Christen is her anchor. She calms her. Tobin loves her cuddles. Tobin also loves her, which is amazing too.”

“Has she said that?” Cody asked.

Perry shook her head. “Nope. She doesn't realise yet either. It’ll click eventually I am sure, but it’s the way she looks at her, how they interact. Tobin is lovestruck, and she acts like a bit of an idiot because of it. She wants to make Christen to smile any way she can.”

“Her injury?” Stacey asked.

“No, that was Tobin being an actual idiot. It’s a long story. Tobin has a lot of them for being a genius.”

Cody chuckled. “You know, she never once asked me for an embarrassing story about Christen. Nor did she call me Big Daddy. I wonder why?”

Stacey rolled her eyes. “That’s obvious. She doesn’t want to hurt or embarrass Christen in any way, and she isn’t 100% comfortable yet. Give her time Cody.”

Perry just chuckled as the older couple joked about the unfairness of Tobin not following through on her deal. She looked back at the kids and smiled at her sister who was leaning heavily on Channing and laughing her head off.

Tobin was happy and comfortable. And that was brilliant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ain't life crazy right now? Sorry this took forever. cant promise quicker updates either. who knows what will happen.
> 
> Stay safe, stay well and stay positive. the last one can be hard, especially if you are isolated but find the good stuff in the little things.
> 
> Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Rants?


	15. Black Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Cody bond while the others shop. Big conversations are had and information about the past comes to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: heavy conversation topic relating to mental health ahead. Nothing graphic, and some of it is just a bit of info as part of a conversation, but keep an eye out for it if it is something that is hard for you to read about.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

Christen gently shook Tobin. “Babe? I’m leaving with the girls now.”

Tobin just groaned. “Will you be gone all day?” She didn’t open her eyes. It was earlier than the teens normal wakeup and she was not going to move for it.

“We should be back around lunch. We invited you. You said no, quite emphatically.” Christen joked softly.

“I don’t shop. I don’t do crowds.” Tobin opened her eyes just a smidge. “Look after Perry for me?”

Christen kissed her with a small grin. “Always. Dad will still be here when you wake up.”

She left after that and made her way downstairs to find her sister, Mum and Perry waiting for her. They were all grinning and Christen just rolled her eyes. “Don’t start.”

Channing just laughed. “We have all day Chris. We’ll give you a tiny reprieve.”

Christen looked at the group and saw they all looked exactly like Channing. She sighed. “Let’s get going.”

* * *

Black Friday was both a nightmare and the best day to shop. Perry had never been to the sales before, not with a group, and it was better. Normally she just had a list of things she needed for Tobin and herself, essentials or gifts, and went to get them as quickly as she could, but only if they were on special. This only happened if she could get someone to watch Tobin early in the morning and she aimed to be home before her sister would wake. Only once did she not get home before Tobin woke and she found her sister drawing on the floorboards with Kate.

Today, she had one thing on her list for herself, some new drawing supplies, and about 7 things for Tobin. Stacey said she would accompany her, and the three sisters shot off to see if they could find anything they wanted. Perry heard Tyler make some comment about interrogating Christen and just smiled to herself. It was good to see that Christens sisters were supportive and wanted to know more.

“So where are we going?” Stacey asked with a smile.

Perry turned and grinned. “We are going to have a good look into the mind of my sister.”

“Okay…” Stacey seemed confused.

Perry laughed. “Where is the closest GameStop? There is a Nintendo out I want to get Tobin for Christmas. It’s a portable one. Her old one died in China. And there are other games for Xbox and her other consoles I know she will love.”

Stacey just chuckled. “That doesn’t actually surprise me at all.” She led them off towards the games store to line up. “Christen didn’t mention that Tobin played video games. She did talk about the arcade date though.”

“That’s because Tobin doesn’t have them in the dorm room. We made a deal when she went to college. I didn’t want her to be distracted. I had just found a big enough apartment that we had a spare room and she set them up there. Some people have a study, a guest room or a toy room. My spare room is Tobin Land. Video game consoles, tv, desk, all that jazz. Whenever she is home, it separates her bedroom where she can rest, and the place she can let her mind run free.” Perry explained.

“That sounds like it could have cost a fair amount.” Stacey prodded gently as they moved forward in the line.

“We did okay. Life insurance and inheritance. My family weren’t super rich, but they owned everything. House, cars, decent amount of savings and super too. It all came to me when I turned 18 and took Tobin in. Julie, Tobin’s last foster mum, helped me sort out a budget, college advisors gave me advice, Nonna and Kate were always there if we needed help. I always made sure we had enough money so Tobin could get something which she wanted, not what she needed. She loved the games at the arcade, so I got her a console for home for her 9th birthday.” Perry looked at Stacey and shrugged. “The happiness on her face made every cent worth it.”

Before Stacey could reply, they were let into the store. Perry led the older woman through the different sections. Stacey was in awe. Perry was picking games from different genres and areas that didn’t fit together at all, but somehow Stacey knew Tobin would love them all. Perry got her a blue DS console and 8 games all together, spanning three different gaming platforms. It costs her a fair amount of money, but Stacey didn’t comment. It wasn’t her place.

Thankfully the art store was right next door and Perry was done with her shopping very quickly. New pencils, paper and she was done. The two went and sat at a coffee shop before they started Stacey’s shopping. It would mostly be window shopping, but she was hoping to see something that caught her eye for the girls for Christmas.

“Your sister is lucky to have someone like you.” Stacey said to Perry. “You’ve done an amazing job with her.”

Perry shrugged. “I did my best.”

Stacey nodded. “That’s all anyone can ask.”

“Not too be blunt Stacey, but can you ask what you really want to ask? I am sure I have heard it before.” Perry looked up from her latte with accepting eyes.

“Am I that obvious?” Stacey asked and chuckled at Perry’s nod. “Tobin is a special kid. I was just wondering if you had anyone to talk to about everything. I just, you always talk about your sister. Not about you.”

Perry looked stunned before she shook herself. “I just kept my head down throughout college. Worked hard and focused on what I could control. I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t want to. There was so much, and everything with Tobin didn’t leave much time for talking.” She said quietly.

“Everything with Tobin?” Stacey asked before she took a sip of her coffee.

Perry look contemplative before she nodded. “My parents knew Tobin was different. She is special, as much as Tobin hates being called that, she is. I don’t know what it was that tipped them off, but we knew she was more than smart. Nothing was officially diagnosed until she got to Julie.”

“What was her diagnosis?”

“ADHD initially. It fit and she has it. Then as she got older and started skipping grades, the teachers were insistent that she get tested again. Super smart kid who struggled socially and had to do the things certain ways otherwise she flipped. Struggles reading body language and making friends. Can take things literally. What does that sound like to you?”

Stacey smiled slightly. “Aspergers.”

Perry nodded. “Tobin calls it being quirky. She hates it when someone uses that word. It helped settle her when Christen described herself as quirky to." Perry smiled at that thought. "Kids had routines, but Tobin couldn’t take any changes well. The first foster home helped her with that, embraced it and nurtured her even if they didn’t have an exact diagnosis. The second one destroyed her. Julie and Harry were great with her, but Tobin was a shell of herself. We had to get her to trust us, believe that we wouldn’t hurt her.” Perry sighed. “It was hard. She was a kid whose brain worked differently already. Throw anxiety and PTSD on top of that, there wasn’t a lot of time to talk about myself.”

“I can see that.” Stacey stated.

Perry nodded. “I always had the option to. But I didn’t really feel like talking about myself and what was happening with me, because all of it seemed to stem from what Tobin was going through, and I didn’t want to betray her by talking about her struggles to someone. Especially early on. However, I started talking to someone when Tobin went to college. It helps.”

Stacey just smiled and drank some more of her coffee, thinking. From what she knew and had observed, Stacey was aware that Tobin and Perry had had a tough life. Perry became a mother to an exceptional 6-year-old at age 18, while that exceptional child was hurt by someone who should have protected her. They had held themselves together early on and found family along the way, but you could still tell, even from the limited interactions, that they were fiercely protective of each other.

Tobin flinched at contact, even when she expected it. She didn’t sit still, was terrible at keeping eye contact and was always checking to see where everyone was in the room. Even when she was settled, Tobin was tense. The only time she wasn’t was when she was tucked up next to her sister on the couch, cuddling with Christen and when she was asleep. It didn’t paint a good picture of what Tobin had experienced, but Stacey didn’t want to push. Tobin was lovely, kind and loved their daughter. She wanted to do whatever she could to help her, even if it meant leaving it be.

But Perry was different. She was almost 30 and Stacey could see that Tobin was main priority in life. While Tobin checked the room for danger, Perry checked it for peace and ensured Tobin was okay. She was in tune with the teen. And Stacey was sure that she had had to deal with plenty of tough situations and conversations with Tobin as her ward.

“Talk to me Stacey.” Perry said with a smile. “If you don’t, that coffee may just get overheated with how much your staring at it.”

Stacey bit the bullet. “Tobin was really hurt, wasn’t she?”

Perry’s face went blank before she nodded. “Yeah. More than you could ever imagine.”

Stacey sighed. “I don’t want to interfere. I don’t know what happened. But I do know how to manage and help a teenager with anxiety and some severe organisational necessities. Christen got worse when she went to Stanford but settled in well at UNC, but during high school she could be hard to ration with too. I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to about how Tobin is acting or reacting. I have some experience in dealing with it.”

Perry nodded and sighed. “Thanks Stacey.”

Stacey smiled. “You’re welcome. Now, should we find my daughters?”

* * *

Cody was cooking breakfast for himself when a sleepy Tobin stumbled into the kitchen in what he knew was Christens pyjamas.

He chuckled when she yawned. “You know, it is a holiday. You can go back to bed and sleep a bit longer if you want. It was a long night last night.”

Tobin shook her head. “It’s 6.30. I always get up at 6.30.” She yawned again. “What time did everyone leave?”

Cody shrugged. “Maybe 4am? The shops open early. I think they will be home by lunch and need a nap. My girls always crash out early on Black Friday.”

“I don’t get it. Is it really that much cheaper? I’d rather pay more and avoid people.” Tobin mumbled.

“We always gave the girls a few hundred dollars to go nuts with, and if we got anything it was something we needed, and it had to be on a massive discount. I don’t think Stacey has anything that she particularly wants this time, she is just there to ensure the girls don’t go mad.” Cody explained. “Do you want some breakfast? I’m making waffles.”

Tobin nodded and put her head on her hands. “Perry used to go when I was asleep. She is a quick shopper. She’d be home by now if she went by herself.”

“Oh yeah?”

Tobin nodded and smiled at Cody. “She is getting me some new games. I saved my money from fixing the arcade machines before I went to China and she said she’d get them for me.”

Cody grinned as he put another dollop of waffle batter in the machine. “You fix things?”

“Yeah. I like it. There is always a solution. It keeps my hands busy and my head busy. One of the pinball machines wouldn’t start in my Junior Year and Kate was going to throw it out. I asked if I could fiddle with it. It was fixed that night.”

“Doesn’t that have electronics in it too?” Cody asked as he poured Tobin some juice.

“Yea, but the circuits were easy to rearrange.” Tobin shrugged. “I like knowing that there is an exact answer, a solution. If something is broken, you know you can either try and fix it or give up on it. I don’t like giving up unless it is the only answer. The only solution.”

Cody cocked his head to the side. “I can see why you do maths and physics at college if you like having answers. Neuroscience, not so much. There is so much we don’t know about the brain.” He plated the waffles and brought them over to Tobin at the breakfast bar. “It would drive me nuts. I’m a banker, numbers have answers. The brain is unique for everyone.”

“Don’t I know it.” Tobin mumbled as she dug into the waffles. After she swallowed the first bite she looked at Cody. “I wanted to know why I was the way I was. I 15 when I started college. I wanted to figure out how to fit in. It didn’t take me long to realise I wouldn’t, but the course was interesting, so I kept studying. I finish it this year and then I can focus on the maths and physics for my senior year.”

Cody sat across from Tobin and took a bite of his waffles with a look of concern. He swallowed and spoke. “Whose idea was it to do three degrees anyway?”

Tobin took a swig of her juice. “The advisors. I wanted to do two, maths and neuroscience, and Perry wanted me to be happy. The advisors saw my test scores and got me into the physics course as well. I tested my way out of a lot of classes, so it was manageable. I should probably thank them. I really like physics.”

Cody chuckled. “I’m glad. Did you ever think about swapping to engineering?”

Tobin shook her head. “I like what I am doing. I just don’t know what I want to do next. I have a few elective classes I can take in my senior year. I am going to do some engineering classes then. Mostly the mechanical ones. I want to build and tinker. Though I have got a chemistry class so I can blow shit up.” She looked at Cody. “These waffles are awesome.”

“I am great at cooking breakfast foods.” Cody bragged and Tobin laughed. “Once your finished, do you want to go out? I have something I want to show you.”

Tobin nodded. “I’ll just have a shower. What do you have in mind?”

Cody grinned. “You’ll see.”

* * *

“Tobin is very sweet Chris. In a dorky way.” Tyler said with a grin. “She is perfect for you.”

Christen smiled at her sister. “You really think so?”

Tyler nodded. They were following Channing through the make-up section and the youngest Press was holding her tongue. As much as Tyler and Channing wanted to tease her mercilessly, they also knew that the middle sister needed their support more than anything else.

“I haven’t seen you this happy. Ever.” Tyler stated. “It’s a good look on you.”

“Yeah. She levels you out. You are actually relaxed when you are with her. It’s kinda weird.” Channing called over her shoulder.

A little bit of teasing was allowed.

Christen hurried her steps up and smacked her on the shoulder. “Shut up Channing.”

Tyler just laughed. “What she means is that it’s nice to see you are happy.”

“I’ve been happy before.” Christen complained.

“Not like this.” Channing interjected. “And not since high school. Maybe. Probably middle school.”

Christen rolled her eyes. Tyler sighed. “You have to admit you’ve had a tough few years.” Christen huddled in on herself and didn’t respond. Tyler put her arm around her sister and led her out of the shop, with Channing following quickly, all thought of make-up forgotten.

Tyler led them to a quiet café and quickly sat down in the back booth, pushing Christen in first so she couldn’t leave. It was quiet because no one else had stopped shopping yet. They were served quickly.

“Tobin is great Christen. She really is.” Tyler started softly. “We just want to check on you. We know it’s great with Tobin. But how are you? Up there?” She tapped her head softly.

Christen sighed. “I promise, I’m fine.”

“Chris.” Tyler said softly. “Please don’t shut us out.”

“I’m fine Ty.”

“Damn it Chris.” Channing exclaimed. Tyler gave her a look but she didn’t back down. “We were both at Stanford with you last year. We watched you spiral. We watched you get loaded into an ambulance and we visited you in a psych hospital. The next thing we know, you moved to the other side of the fucking country. We are allowed to ask you how you are going.”

Christen looked at her coffee cup. “Chan, I promise. I am fine. I haven’t had an anxiety attack since I got to UNC. I freaked out once after I played Stanford, but Tobin helped me. I swear, I’m okay.”

Channing rolled her eyes. “Are you still taking your meds?”

“Yes. Look, can we just have a normal sister shopping day?” Christen asked softly.

“Not until we finish this conversation.” Tyler said. “You have barely spoken to us since you went to UNC. We get all our updates from Mum and Dad. We didn’t even know about you and Tobin until Mum said they were coming for Thanksgiving.”

Christen blew. “We didn’t talk when we were all at Stanford. Why bother when we are on other sides of the country? You were in your Senior Year and had no time for me Ty. Channing, you were a freshman who spent every spare second out with your new friends. You say you watched me spiral? You barely fucking saw me!”

Christen explosion was met with silence. She just scoffed. “Now where is the self-righteousness.”

“You don’t get to say that. Not to us.” Channing said softly. “We tried. We did. Lunches, dinners, movie nights. You never came. You always had an excuse. Said it was soccer season or something and then shut us out. You were essentially a recluse Chris. All our info came from Kelley.”

Christen rolled her eyes. “I’m happy. I’m sane. Can we please just leave it at that?”

“No!” Tyler exclaimed. “Because I am worried.”

“About what?”

“About Tobin being the only thing holding you together!” Tyler closed her eyes and inhaled slowly to settle herself. She opened her eyes and looked at her sister. “I thought I had lost you when you got in that ambulance. I was terrified. Seeing you this happy is amazing. But such a big change in 7 months from being in a psych hold? It isn’t what I expected.”

Christen slumped and rolled her head around. She looked and saw both of her sisters looking genuinely concerned and interested in what was happening.

She decided to trust them.

“I got to UNC in June and met the coach. Mum came with me. Between the two of them, they set me up with a routine. Anson set me up with a fitness program to get me moving before summer training camp, Mum found me a therapist and the academic advisor set me up with a manageable class load so I didn’t get overwhelmed when I started. I did some Summer classes to ease myself into it. I was settling in fine and I felt normal. Someone checked in on me every day, usually Ash, and I had therapy twice a week. The girls were great. I guess they knew if I was being roomed with Tobin, I probably had some similar issues.” Christen sniffed. “There was a couple of months where I got to settle in the room, get comfortable in the space, before Tobin got back from China. But I also got to bond with the team in that time, and I made friends. I laughed. I watched Tobin play in the Olympics, and I cheered with my friends when they won.”

“I have support, and I am accepted for who I am. And how I am. They didn’t care if I was quiet or reading in the corner. I don’t know why, but I trusted them and I felt as though I didn’t have to act like someone else. It took the stress off. The whole university has a vibe that I love, and I’m settled.” Christen sighed. “I hated Stanford. I wasn’t happy. And I didn’t know how to cope. I didn’t have the support I have right now. I shut them out. Even if I didn’t have Tobin, I would still be happy. I’d still be sane because I let people in.”

Tyler and Channing could tell how sincere their sister was being, but they still held their concerns. Channing bit the bullet.

“That’s great to hear. But what happens if you and Tobin split up? Will you lose your friends because they were hers first?”

Christen rolled her eyes. “This may sound very immature, but Tobin and I aren’t splitting up. Not anytime soon.”

“How do you know?” Tyler asked.

“Because neither of us do anything unless we are sure it can’t hurt us. We think it all the way through.”

Tyler could hear the pain in Christens voice and it hurt her. “What do you mean Chris?”

“Oh my god.” She muttered before she looked her older sister dead in the eye. “You aren’t the one who went through what I did at Stanford. You didn’t go through what Tobin did, at any point in her life before her sophomore year at UNC. You don’t get it. You don’t what it is like to not trust your brain, your thoughts, your own fucking eyes. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t let myself end up like that again. It took me weeks to accept my feelings for her. To trust that I wouldn’t get hurt by her. Tobin is the sweetest, kindest, most loving person I have ever met, and I was terrified to let her in fully. Even as friends. She made the first move because I was a chicken shit and didn’t want to lose her friendship.”

Christen paused and sniffed. “Tobin helps me. I don’t have to stress myself out trying to be normal. I can be Christen. And that is amazing.”

Channing wiped the tears from her eyes. “Are you sure you will be okay?”

“Channing, I haven’t felt this good in years. I won’t let myself spiral like I did earlier this year. Neither will Tobin. I actually talk about what I am feeling. I let people in. Yes, it is a big change in 7 months, but it’s real. I’m finally comfortable to be myself. It makes a difference.”

“I don’t want to get a phone call saying you’re in the hospital again.” Tyler said softly. “If you are really sure that you are okay, we will drop it and move to teasing you about Tobin and your heart eyes. But we just need to know.”

“It may have been hard for you to watch and hear about, but I have to live with the memory of my best friend restraining me so I didn’t hurt myself.” Christen fiddled with her coffee cup, not making eye contact. “I can’t promise I will always be okay. I can promise I am okay right now. And being with Tobin isn’t the only reason why, but she helps.”

The three sisters were quiet. They just sat there in silence for a few minutes, sipping their coffee.

Christen sighed before she placed her empty cup down. “Okay. Moving on. Shopping. Where are we going?”

Tyler took the opening. “I figured we could go window shopping. See what catches our eye. I don’t need anything in particular, but the money from Mum and Dad is there if we need it.”

Channing shrugged. “I don’t mind. I’ve got enough at Stanford. The cash may help me more later than today. Mum’s already said it was fine if I did that.”

The pair looked at Christen. She smiled. “Window shopping sounds good.”

* * *

Perry and Stacey found the three sisters standing outside a shop together. All three had a couple of bags of shopping. Christen was bright red and protesting. Perry stopped Stacey from getting any closer, her face had an evil grin on it. “Look what shop they are in front of.” She whispered.

Stacey saw it and chuckled. “Oh no. Chris is in trouble.”

Perry looked at her quizzically. “Would you be laughing if Tobin was a guy? And she was buying that?”

“I’m only laughing because Tobin is Tobin. Regardless of gender, Tobin is harmless and adorable. She will take care of Chris.”

Perry just smiled.

* * *

“I will not go in there!” Christen exclaimed.

“Come on. Don’t you want to have something pretty for Tobin?” Tyler teased.

Christen somehow went redder. “We are not even close to that. We barely change in front of each other. I am not going in there. I do not need to go in there.”

“You never know. Romantic night out could lead to something earlier than you expected. Some lingerie wouldn’t go amiss.” Channing said with a grin.

“It’s your birthday and Christmas soon. Treat yourself. And Tobin.” Tyler cackled at the end.

“I never did this to you guys!” Christen whined.

“No. You are the nice sister. We never claimed to be.” Channing countered. “Come on, you need something pretty.”

Christen narrowed her eyes. “Who's to say I don’t already have something pretty?”

“That’s cute.” Tyler joked.

“I’m insulted you think so lowly of me.” Christen rolled her eyes at her sisters. “I can do all this myself. I don’t need your help. I don’t even want your help with this. We aren’t even close to that anyway.”

“But when will we see you again? It could be too late by Christmas!” Channing exclaimed.

“It won’t be.” Christen gave them a look which had them pausing. “Now, can we drop it and move on?”

Stacey decided to step in, pretending she hadn’t heard a thing. “How did you girls go?”

They jumped but Tyler pulled herself together first. “Fine. Saw some make-up that Channing liked, I found some shoes and Christen was cute and bought something for her and Tobin.”

Stacey gave her daughter a look as she hit her sister. “I bought a game because Tobin said she had never played it. Not the point of Black Friday, but who cares? I couldn’t think of anything else I needed back at UNC.”

“You didn’t need anything for your pre-med classes?” Stacey asked.

“Not yet. I’ll need to save for all the stuff I need for med school anyway.” Christen stated. “What did you get?”

“Oh nothing. I’m the same, we didn’t need much but if I could grab a bargain I would. Perry got some games though, so it has been a success.”

The sisters looked at Perry and she shrugged. “Tobin doesn’t do crowds. She gave me some money and I bought her some games.”

Stacey turned. “Tobin had enough money to buy all that?” She was slightly stunned.

Perry chuckled. “Yes, but she only paid for four of the games. The others and the console I bought. She has no idea I even know she wanted them. She will finally be surprised for Christmas.”

“Tobin has a job?” Tyler asked.

Perry paused but then nodded. “Kind of. She fixes some arcade machines for Kate and she gives her some cash. Not really a job because Tobin would do it for free, but Kate insists. Tobin uses that money for her games. The money from being a national team player goes straight into her savings.”

Tyler could have slapped herself. “I forgot that she got paid for being in the national team.”

“It isn’t a lot but for a 17-year-old it is heaps.” Perry smiled. “She put it in her account for post-grad.”

“If she goes.” Christen muttered quietly and then froze. It wasn’t as quiet as she thought. “Shit. It’s just, she said she doesn’t know what she wants to do with herself.”

Perry just laughed. “It’s fine. I know what you mean. She is still figuring out what she wants to do. However, I am pretty sure she will do a post-grad, even if it is online or in 5 years. She will figure it out.” Christen relaxed but Perry wasn’t done. “My sister wants to play soccer first and foremost. But that won’t be forever. She will find her niche eventually. But she is 17, she has plenty of time.”

Christen nodded and smiled. “That she does.”

* * *

“What are we doing Cody?” Tobin asked as they got out of the SUV. They were at a storage site. “You aren’t going to murder me and hide me in a storage locker?”

He chuckled. “No. I have something I’d like you to see.”

Tobin followed Cody warily. “This feels like the start of a murder mystery.”

Cody just rolled his eyes and led her down the halls until he got to a locker. He turned and smiled. “This is our family storage locker. It’s got random stuff through it that we can’t bear to throw out. And there is something I think you’d really like.”

He unlocked it and pulled up the shutter. It was full of stuff, but Tobin’s eyes went wide at the sight of the big machine in the corner. “Is that what I think it is?”

Cody grinned. “My Dad found it on the side of the road years ago. Outside an arcade. It has never worked but I figured you might want to take a look. Give you something to fiddle with while you are here at least.”

“I fly home on Sunday Cody.” Tobin said but kept looking at the machine. She was running her hands over the sides and flicking switches and notches.

“Well, if you don’t, I guess you just have to come back and finish it. It would be cool to be in my man cave.”

Tobin turned to him and smiled. “It’s an original Donkey Kong arcade machine. It would be cool anywhere. I fixed Kate’s last year.”

“We will have to clear out the garage to get some room for it. But we also need to get it in the car. You able to help?” Tobin paused and Cody saw it. “Or is your shoulder still busted?”

He was giving her an out. Tobin just nodded. “It’s still a bit busted.”

“I’ll go get some help then. You can hunt and see if you need anything else in there. We don’t but maybe there are some tools or something.” Cody wandered off with a whistle and a jaunty step. Tobin turned back to the machine and grinned.

“This is awesome.”

* * *

The five women drove home and found they couldn’t get into the driveway because Cody’s SUV was there. It was normally in the garage. They were even more confused when they saw Cody was sitting in a lounge chair with a beer, laughing. It was only just going on lunchtime. “What on earth?” Stacey muttered as she parked on the road.

They all got out and grabbed their shopping. Perry split her shopping up and gave it to Tyler to hide for her so Tobin didn’t see them. Christen gave her bag to Channing and walked ahead to her Dad, with the rest of the ladies following her, intrigued. “Dad? What’s happening?”

He turned and grinned. “Hey sweetie. How was your shopping?”

“Less expensive than I am sure you expected. You dodged the question.” Christen stated.

He chuckled. “Tobin banned me from the tools and made me sit back and watch.”

“Huh?” Christen was confused.

Cody just laughed even more. “Look.” The group came across and found Tobin’s legs sticking out from behind a machine they hadn’t seen in a decade.

“You didn’t.” Stacey chastised.

“I did.” Cody replied. “Tobin said she liked fixing things. I figured, why not?”

Christen groaned. “I forgot about this. Tobin?”

Tobin popped her head up and was beaming. She had grease on her forehead and Christen hadn’t seen her this happy since they left UNC. It made her pause. “Yeah babe?”

Christen wasn’t going to rain on her parade and ask her anything about it. She was happy and if she lost her to the garage for the weekend, so be it. Christen smiled. “Do you want some lunch?”

“Nah. I’m still figuring this out. Maybe in a bit. How was your shopping?”

Christen shrugged. “Uneventful.”

Tobin didn’t notice the two Press siblings tense up, she just took her girlfriend at her word. “That’s good.”

“I got your games Tobin. I didn’t need all the money you sent me, not even close.” Perry stated. “I’ll transfer it back across when we get home.”

“Keep it. I am sure I will have something else at some point and I won’t want to get it myself.” Tobin joked.

Cough* lazy bones * cough.

Tobin turned to Channing who was looking at the sky mischievously. “I am not above chasing you covered in grease.” Tobin threatened.

“Then you’d have to leave that game behind, and I am sure Mum will have it back in storage if you do.”

Tobin’s eyes went wide. “This needs to be out and played! It is a classic. It is a crime it was in storage and had not been fixed!”

Tobin then spent the next 10 minutes giving the group a lecture on classic arcade games, video games and their history, their part in society and why they were so important. She was passionate and she was happy.

Tyler leant across and whispered to Perry while Tobin was lecturing. “Would you be surprised if your sister became a mechanic?”

Perry shook her head. “Not at all. But I think an engineer is her path. She would get to make stuff, not just fix it.”

“Have you told her that?” Tyler asked softly.

“No. She needs to find it herself. And if she is happy, then she found the right path for her.” Perry looked at Tyler and smiled. "She already has the first part of her life sorted anyway."

"Oh yeah?"

Perry nodded. "The way she looks at your sister is with a love that I have only seen once before with Tobin. If she only ever has Christen, she will be happy."

"What was the other thing she loved that much?" Tyler asked.

Perry grinned. "Soccer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts or questions? What do you think? Let me know!
> 
> Next chapter will get them back to UNC and may cover until Christmas break.
> 
> Hope everyone is doing well and is staying safe.


	16. Surprise!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The NCAA final brings more people together than Tobin expects

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It has been a while - I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> All mistakes are my own - Please feel free to tell me if there is an error. I am sure there are plenty.
> 
> OH! And this story got like a shoutout on a Preath Insta fan page for like recommended reading with some awesome fics the other day! I was so proud - pressheath_woso thanks! Love your page!

Tobin had managed the trip to Los Angeles well. She had been comfortable enough around Christens family and even though she wasn’t settled at Thanksgiving dinner, she was present and got through to the end of it. She felt comfortable enough around Cody and Stacey that she could talk to them if she needed to, and she had. Tyler and Channing made her nervous and it wasn’t anything that they had done. Tobin was settled around Cody and Stacey because they reminded her of Perry, Mrs B, Nonna and Julie. Tyler and Channing weren’t. They were older than her and college students. Tobin’s general experience with people in that category wasn’t the best and while she knew from Christen that they were amazing people, she wasn’t comfortable yet. Tobin didn’t know them well enough to let her guard down.

Tyler and Channing were very well aware Tobin was uneasy, even if they weren’t sure why, and did everything they could to treat her as they would Christen when she was struggling. They didn’t tease as much, they didn’t go as far with the jokes. With Tobin, they ensured she was always aware of where they were in the room so she didn’t get spooked and when they spoke, they kept it around the subjects they knew Tobin was comfortable with. Tyler had no care in the world for video games before she met Tobin, but listening to Tobin talk about her passion for them and why they were so good gave her a new perspective. It would have been great if the teen had been looking at her while she spoke, not fiddling with the arcade machine but it was progress.

Tobin’s lack of freak-outs and general comfort around the Press family had lulled them into a false sense of security. Even Christen and Perry didn’t expect what happened on Sunday morning.

“I’m not going!” Tobin yelled from behind the arcade machine. She was sitting on a crate and had tools in her hands trying to fix the machine. “It isn’t fixed yet. I can’t leave until it is fixed!”

Perry sighed and asked the Press family to leave them for a minute. Channing’s eyes went wide and she bolted into the house without any explanation, but Cody, Tyler and Stacey left with a small smile. Perry didn’t expect Christen to leave.

The eldest Heath sat against the wall and looked at her sister. She was greasy and she had a look of intense concentration on her face. “Tobin, we have to get going soon. You have class and soccer tomorrow.”

“It isn’t finished. I need to finish it. I’m not going until I finish it.” Tobin didn’t look at her sister directly, just glared at the collar of her shirt. This was a sign to Perry that Tobin was worked up more than it may seem.

“How long do you think it will take to finish?”

Tobin shrugged and started fiddling with some bolts. “I dunno.”

Perry chuckled. “I think that’s bullshit Tobin. You always know how long it will take to finish something. Even roughly.” When Tobin just kept fiddling and refused to respond, Perry sighed and reached a hand across to put on Tobin’s.

The teen flinched and Perry pulled her hand back quickly. “Sorry.” She looked at Christen who was standing back looking concerned.

“It’s okay.” Tobin muttered.

“Can I come a bit closer?” At Tobin’s nod, Perry shuffled until there was only about a foot of space between their bodies. “What’s really going on with you?” Perry asked softly.

Tobin sniffed. “I want to finish it. It can’t stay unfinished. It needs to be finished. I can’t risk that it won’t get finished.”

Perry smiled at her sister, still thinking that there was something missing. “I am sure we can ask Cody if we can move it to the side of the garage so you can work on it next time you come and visit.”

Tobin kept her head down. “Is there going to be a next time? I don’t want to leave if I can’t come back.”

Perry’s heart broke. “Oh Tobin. Of course there will be.” Perry stated. She waved Christen across and the med student sat next to her and smiled.

“Tobin, I am pretty sure my parents love you more than me right now. They would love for you to come back and visit. Even without me.” Christen said jokingly.

Tobin looked up at Christen with hope etched on her face. “I could?”

Christen nodded. “Honey, they would love to see you again. As often as possible. I am sure my Dad will even find more things for you and him to try and fix together. You don’t have to worry that you won’t be able to come back here. You will. And that will be right there waiting for you to finish when you do. And even if it is finished, you can come back whenever you want anyway.”

Tobin still looked concerned when Channing came barging back in. “Tobin! Can you help me?”

Tobin was stunned. “What?”

The youngest Press smiled and sat next to her sister. She pulled out an old laptop. “This crapped it before college started this year. I have a new one, but there is stuff on this I would love to look at. Is there any chance you could take this with you and see if you can fix it? Next time you come and visit you can show me what you found.”

Tobin looked up at Channing. The youngest Press smiled when Tobin met her eyes for a brief second. “I haven’t fixed a computer before.”

Channing shrugged. “That’s okay. It can’t hurt to try?”

Tobin looked from Channing to Christen and then to her sister before she nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Awesome. Next time you come visit, or when we come to see you guys at UNC, you can show me your progress. Sound good?”

Tobin frowned. “You’d come see me at UNC to? And you want me to come back?”

Channing just laughed. “Yea. You’re awesome Tobin. You are like part of the family now.”

Tobin looked stunned and Perry took that time to speak. “You believe us now? You can come back and finish it. It won’t be going anywhere. And you are welcome here.”

Tobin nodded at her sister before she picked up the wrench and started tightening some bolts. Perry groaned. “I’m going to go inside. Tobin, I expect you in for a shower in ten minutes.”

Perry turned to leave with Christen and Channing when she heard classic arcade music. The three paused and turned to see a sheepish Tobin looking at her toes. She was holding an extension cord. “I just had to put the back sheet on and plug it in. it was finished last night.”

Perry just laughed airily as she shook her head, gobsmacked. She knew exactly why Tobin had done that. She didn’t want to leave just yet and knew if she finished it, there would be no reason in her mind for her to come back. She needed reassurance that she was wanted in a place she felt safe.

Christen grinned at her girlfriend. “You need to tell Dad. He will be so excited.”

Tobin nodded and followed her girlfriend into the house while Channing and Perry stayed in the garage for a minute. Channing chuckled.

“Your sister is the best.”

Perry smiled. “She is a little shit but yes, she is pretty cool.”

“Has she done that before? Pretended that something took longer than it really did so she didn’t have to leave?” Channing asked curiously.

Perry nodded. “Usually a soccer skill she just had to get right. Not with an arcade machine though. At Kate’s she always knows she can go back I guess.”

“I thought it was something like that. It is why I grabbed my laptop.” Perry looked at the youngest Press quizzically and she elaborated. “In the five days you have been here, Tobin has gone from tense and jumpy to slightly comfortable and talkative. When you mentioned leaving, she tensed up again. She didn’t want to go and she was latching on. I figured if I gave her something she had to bring back, it would get Tobin to see we wanted her back.”

Perry didn’t say anything. She just hugged the young college student. Channing smiled into her shoulder and hugged her back.

* * *

“PERRY! Cody said he has other stuff I can fix next time, but I have to let him help this time! We can come back whenever we want!” Tobin was bouncing around. “He said he would keep the Donkey Kong game plugged in and practice so when I come back, I have high scores to beat too!”

Perry just smiled. “I’m glad.”

* * *

The adjustment back to college life wasn’t too hard for the pair. Despite a lot of teasing from Ash and the team about how cute and coupley they were, nothing much had changed. Although Tobin made a valiant effort to go to bed by herself for the first time in a while. She lasted 2 hours before she was pulling the covers back and snuggling in with Christen.

The couple still did the same things and hung out all the time, but there was a different feel to the actions after the weekend. Tobin was more comfortable being open with Christen in public and she was settled. They were more affectionate, and Tobin loved the comfort that being with an affectionate person brought her. Whether there was a kiss on the temple when they hugged or when they held hands walking to class, Tobin thrived under the positive attention of Christen and she was more comfortable with other people seeing it now. Besides, Christen loved seeing Tobin smile and would do anything to make that happen.

Tobin knew she had a place with Christen and with her family. No one knew how much Tobin had been craving having that. While Perry was her sister and she loved her dearly, Tobin knew how much her sister had put her life on hold for her. Tobin wanted Perry to be able to live her life without needing to check in on her every other day. Tobin felt after Thanksgiving with the Press family that she had more people to go to for support. She didn’t always have to burden her sister.

Having that extra sense of security gave Tobin another person to talk to, and she did. At least once a week she would call Cody or Stacey, sometimes just for a chat or to tell them something she thought was funny. Tobin didn’t feel as they were humouring her like some people did. She knew they cared.

Tobin also bugged Channing about her laptop, trying to figure out how to fix it. The Stanford sophomore had no issue with the teen calling her and was happy to tell her everything she knew about the computer. Tobin often left those chats early and let Christen talk with her sister while she fiddled. Tobin didn’t need to call Channing and ask her questions, but she knew if she did, Christen would talk to her.

Christen was getting better at reaching out to her family as well. Not only her parents who she spoke to twice a week, but her sisters. She texted Tyler about how her law school was and just life in general. She happily spoke with Channing after Tobin was done asking questions Christen knew she knew the answers to. Tobin had a satisfied smile on her face after those conversations.

Their comfort and chemistry led to positives on the football pitch and the pair were leading UNC towards the NCAA tournament final four with a vengeance. Stanford were knocked out by the Tar Heels and Christen was the one who scored the winning goal. To say she was pleased was an understatement and she didn’t even react when some of the bitches tried to rile her up post-match. She just pointed to the scoreboard and shrugged with a shit eating grin on her face as her new teammates backed her up.

Kelley was upset that they had lost but knew who she would be cheering for in the final. She also knew that there were some people coming from interstate to watch, but she had been sworn to secrecy before she had left Stanford.

* * *

They won the final 2-1 and the entire stadium erupted in cheers when the final whistle went. Tobin launched herself into Ashlyn’s arms before she wildly ran around the pitch, finding teammates to jump on and celebrate with. Allie caught her around the waist and spun her around. “WE WON HARRY!!”

Tobin just grinned and latched onto her as she was spun in circles. She was happy and had no idea how much better it was going to get.

Tobin was led across to her team and they went through the ceremony. Tobin and Christen both made the team of the tournament which made a section of the crowd erupt. Tobin was shaking and bouncing, unable to stop smiling as she was up with her team. She took the surprise hugs from her team well and even leant into them. But as soon as she could be next to one of her people, she was there and settled.

The team walked around the grounds celebrating. Ash was leading the charge and the team was following along happily. They got to the section of the crowd which had erupted at the end and Tobin’s jaw dropped before she beamed.

“Hope?”

The goalkeeper smiled. “I told you I’d come visit. And I am not the only one.” She moved back out of the way and Tobin watched as half a dozen heads popped up for her to see.

Carli, HAO, A-Rod, Cheney and Abby were sitting their grinning. “Surely you can’t be too surprised. We had to come watch the future stars play.” Abby joked.

Tobin was utterly speechless. The team just chuckled. Allie gently pushed her towards Hope and she started moving. She wrapped the keeper in a hug and Hope just held her tight, smiling. One by one, the group hugged Tobin and she was bouncing by the time Abby wrapped her up. “How is this possible?”

Tobin’s question was met by a few grins and some laughter. Hope shrugged. “I think you need to ask your best friend over there.” She pointed at Ashlyn and the keeper looked sheepish but very proud of herself.

“I was talking to Ali about how we were hosting the finals and that we were almost a shoe in for the final four. Apparently, she told a few people and they came across.”

“But where is Ali?” Tobin asked, hopeful.

Ash smiled. “You walked straight past her when you saw Hope. Her, and a few others.”

Tobin turned and saw Ali sitting next to her sister.

With Cody.

And Stacey.

And Channing and Tyler and Mrs Esposito and Mrs B.

The teen was utterly speechless once again. She just ran and vaulted the fence, landing in her sister’s arms.

It was a good day.

* * *

Nonna invited the whole group supporting Tobin back to her restaurant for dinner. She had closed it for the night so she and her family could watch their honourary member but was always planning to host an after party. She had insisted and all the spectators had headed straight to the restaurant while the team members who wanted to come changed and made their way across a little while after.

The group wasn’t rowdy and they spent the 30 minutes or so while they were waiting getting introduced to each other. Perry was talking to Hope about her sister.

“Is Tobin’s roommate going to be here? Ali said she had one and I wanted to meet her. See how they were going.” Hope was looking around but didn’t know who she was looking for.

Perry paused. She knew the team wasn’t aware of Tobin and Christen dating, but she didn’t know if she should warn them or not. She also knew Hope was protective of Tobin and would genuinely try to scare Christen if given the opportunity.

Before she could make up her mind, the door opened, and the group of players walked in. Yael, Jess, Brittani, Whitney, Ash and Allie walked in smiling. They went to talk to their family members who were waiting for them and to the players they knew from the National Team.

Ash came across to Perry and hugged her. “Tobin and Christen are on their way.” 

“Oh?” Perry asked.

Ash nodded. “Tobin is usually the last one out. She was getting the tape removed by the doc when we left. It shouldn’t be long.”

“Her shoulder is still an issue?” Hope asked. “I thought that would be sorted by now if she was cleared to play.”

Ash chuckled. “Not even close.” The goalkeeper walked across to Ali, unaware she had unleashed protective Hope.

The US no.1 looked at Perry for an explanation. The architect sighed and gestured to the door. The pair went outside and Perry ensured they were alone. “You were one of the ones Pia spoke to about Tobin, yes? That’s why you were her roommate.” At Hope’s nod she smiled tightly. “Her shoulder has been an issue since the accident. Then she had a shit time in care which made it worse. Her shoulder is a mess Hope. Has been for over a decade.”

The keeper frowned. “Can the doctors help?”

Perry nodded. “Yes. Only little things so far but if we want to get it properly sorted, or as close to it as we can get, she will need another surgery. They were talking about a full shoulder reconstruction. Funnily enough, Tobin doesn’t want that. Between her doctors, the staff at UNC and the USWNT, they are managing it. Tobin will play until something forces her to have the reconstruction.”

Hope knew the pain of shoulder injuries and how shitty the rehab was. But she knew that after it was completed it was much better for the athlete. “Why won’t she do it until it is forced on her?”

Perry smiled sadly. “Because she is Tobin. And she loves playing soccer more than anything. Right now, if you took soccer away from her for a year, she wouldn’t cope.”

Hope was pained. “Is there anything I can do for her?”

Perry looked thoughtful. She didn’t respond for almost thirty seconds. She seemed to be deliberating something. Eventually, she nodded. “Just be there for her like you have been. Ali knows most of it and she will be keeping an eye on her I am sure. Tobin will do everything she can to ensure that no one sees what she perceives as a weakness. She has been through enough shit.”

“You don’t need me to go hit someone? That sounds easier and immediately more satisfying than just being there for her. Besides, I would be there for her anyway.” Hope joked, trying to alleviate the tension.

Perry chuckled humourlessly. “No Hope. The people that hurt her got what was coming to them.”

Hope frowned but nodded. The pair re-joined the party and nothing more was said about it. Hope did make a note to speak with Ali but she wasn’t going to bring down the mood of the party to do so.

* * *

Tobin and Christen walked in hand in hand, smiling and happy. There was some sarcastic cheering and a congratulations on being late, but other than that it was just a normal entrance. Tobin and Christen were quickly cornered by the Press family and it allowed the room to settle. Tobin was smiling and hugged the family a lot less awkwardly than she had the first time.

The pair were talking with the family for five minutes, unable to escape the conversation and neither cared. Cody gave Tobin an update on how his Donkey Kong game was going, much to Tobin’s delight and Stacey’s amusement. He had really enjoyed playing the classic game.

Hope, Abby and Carli were standing with the other New Kids and HAO, watching the interaction with a slight smile.

“Who is that with Tobin?” Abby asked.

Cheney grinned. “Christen Press. Transferred to UNC from Stanford this year. A very good striker and one of the fastest players in DIV 1.”

“I don’t care about that. Who is she? What is she like?” Abby stared pointedly. “And why is she holding the kid’s hand?”

“Grounding her maybe?” A-Rod suggested. “She isn’t great in big groups and at parties.”

“Surely it would be her best friend doing that. Not a random.” Carli murmured.

The group startled when a voice spoke from behind them. “You guys are so oblivious.” They turned to see Ali standing there with an amused look. “Christen is her roommate. An-”

“I never held hands with my roommate.” A-Rod muttered, interrupting the defender.

“And her girlfriend.” The player’s eyes went wide. “They are adorable, and it’s been about two months of cutesiness. Tobin spent Thanksgiving with Christens family. Leave them alone and do not interrogate either of them.” Ali was stern.

Hope scoffed. “That’s not going to happen.”

“I am serious. Let them come to you. Watch them, listen to them talk. Neither of them will react well to you getting in their face Hope.”

“I wouldn’t do that to Tobin.”

“But you would for Tobin and while Christen would be fine, it would stress Tobin out on a day where she is happy and just won a massive tournament.” Ali sighed. “Look, just be nice for tonight. We are here at UNC for January camp and you can do more then. But right now, we are in Tobin’s Nonnas restaurant. Do not start anything.”

The group nodded with the exception of Hope, who still looked as though she wanted to go over and get some answers. Abby smiled at Ali. “We won’t. I’ll keep Hope in line.”

Ali smiled. “Good. Because they are coming this way.”

The group turned back and saw Tobin and Christen walking over. They were still holding hands but they also looked nervous. Tobin smiled shakily at the group. “Hi! Um, th-this is Chris. M-my g-girlfriend.” Tobin was more nervous than anyone knew.

Christen smiled brightly at the group and squeezed Tobin’s hand tightly. “It’s nice to meet you. Tobin has told me amazing things.”

“That’s funny. We didn’t hear anything about you.” Hope snarked. Abby swiftly smacked her up the back of the head.

“Ignore her. We barely got to see the Kid last camp, so we had no idea. How did you meet?”

Tobin grinned. “I-I came b-back from China and she was in my room. I uh, hadn’t r-realized I was getting a roommate. We kind of went from there.”

“Oh yeah?” A-Rod asked kindly.

Christen chuckled. “Yea. Friends first, lots of nerdiness and getting used to that and then a big talk which ended with us both falling off the bed. We only went on our first official date after that last camp.”

The group chuckled at that and Tobin settled just a touch. Even Hope decided to let go of her concerns for the time being.

“Tobin!” An elderly woman came across to the group. “You played very well.”

Tobin grinned. “Thanks Mrs Esposito.” Tobin got a loving tap on the nose and she chuckled. “401?”

“One day you will call me Nonna. Your sister does and your friends do. You are a stubborn one.” Tobin beamed and shook her head. “You will. I promise you.” Nonna turned to Christen and arched an eyebrow. “Are you going to be as stubborn as your girlfriend?”

“Not at all Nonna. I am not that brave.” Christen joked. “I am looking forward to my Tobin Special though.”

“Tobin Special?” Cheney, A-Rod and HAO all questioned at once. Hope, Abby and Carli were all intrigued. Tobin looked pleadingly at Nonna but she just chuckled.

Nonna grinned. “Oh yes. Tobin gets the same thing every time. Has since she was a little six-year-old.”

Tobin was bright red but before she could respond, Perry came across. “Sorry, I need to steal my sister for a minute.” She led her away gently and unknowingly left Christen to the wolves.

The med student smiled at the footballers and after a minute of awkward silence, she spoke. “Let me have it.”

Hope jumped in as Ali put a hand on her upper arm. “Who are you?”

“Someone who cares for Tobin. Just like you do.” Christen sighed. “I want her to be happy.”

Hope frowned and stepped forward into the med student’s space. “If you hurt her, you will regret it. I will make sure you do.”

“Hope!” Abby pulled her back. “That is enough.”

Christen straightened herself up and breathed deeply to settle herself. “You don’t know me. You don’t know my history or what I have been through. All you need to know is I am not someone who dives into things. I am not someone who starts a relationship on a whim or for short while. I won’t hurt her.”

Hope just nodded before she turned and walked out the side door. The other girls started apologising for the keeper immediately. Ali stepped forward and put her hand on the strikers shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Christen smiled slightly but was shaky. “Tobin said Hope was a teddy bear.”

Ali chuckled. “Only with Tobin. Anyone else gets a grizzly bear.”

Christen chuckled. “Ain’t that the truth.”

* * *

“Perry. What’s going on?” Tobin asked with a grin.

Perry smiled. “I just wanted to check in. You’ve had a big day.”

“I’m good Perry. I promise.”

“Are you sure? Everyone is here until tomorrow night. If you need me to, I can take you home at any stage and you can see them tomorrow.” Perry was trying to ensure her sister was really coping.

“I’ll be okay. But thanks.”

“Alright. Because there is one more surprise I want to spring on you if you are up to it.” Perry was smiling at her sister in a way which made her nervous.

Tobin looked warily at her sister. “What did you do?”

“I’m sorry I missed the game. I heard it was a good one.”

Tobin spun around in shock. “Harry?”

A blonde woman around Perry’s age was standing under the streetlight. She had a grin on her face. “Surprise.”

The teen bolted across the carpark and into the older woman’s arms. “How are you here?”

Harry chuckled. “Can’t I have my secrets?”

Tobin just pulled back and frowned. “You were gone for over a year.”

“That happens with my work Tobin. It lets me travel the world. You know that.” Harry said softly. “But I’m here now.”

“Your last article was pretty good. And the photos were awesome. You're like Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen in one!” Tobin smiled again.

Harry chuckled. “Come on my little nerd. I hear you have a new Harry. I need to meet this girl. See if she is worthy of the title!”

Tobin lit up and started leading the journalist in by her hand. She was looking forward to showing everyone the person who had saved her as a kid. Who was her hero and who was the one she looked up to more than anyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Were you surprised? This took me a bit longer than I hoped - I was going to take it up to Christmas but this got stuck in my head.
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe and coping indoors right now. I know some are struggling more than others and I hope this can bring a smile to all your faces. 
> 
> Love you all!  
ellaaa25 xoxo


	17. Harry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets the group and we get more insight into the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy. Sorry for the mistakes I am sure there are plenty.

The door banged open and the group looked to see Tobin dragging a blonde woman in by the hand. The teen looked elated while the blonde looked amused, as if this was a common occurrence and she loved it.

Tobin looked around the room and locked in on her girlfriend. She was standing with Ali and some the other National Team players, but Hope was nowhere in sight. Not thinking anything was up, she led her Harry across the room to meet Christen.

“Chris!” She was beaming at her girlfriend. “This is Harry!”

The striker, still shaken, was stunned by the unexpected arrival.

“Holy shit.” Her reaction caused some giggles before she pulled herself together. “Sorry. It has been a long day.” The med student put her hand out for the older blonde to shake.

Harry just shrugged and smiled. “No worries. I have heard great things.”

Christen smiled. “So have I.” The tone of the conversation had shifted slightly and the journalist sensed it.

Harry tried to push away the attention and pulled the teen into a headlock. “I am sure Little Tobs here was exaggerating. I can be a nightmare!” Tobin was protesting but the grin on her face said she was happier than ever. “Now, I have heard I the story of the Tobin Special, but never had one. Tobi here always insisted on letting me order whatever the hell I wanted and refused to let me try it. Am I in time for dinner?”

Abby butted in. “What the hell is this Tobin Special? We have heard that like five times already!”

“Well-“ Ali started.

“Don’t you dare!” Tobin yelped.

Abby looked at Tobin in a headlock by this chick she had never met, and Ali with Christen, three looking as though it was an amazing story while the other was already blushing. “I have to hear this now.”

Before anyone could say anything, Perry came in and rolled her eyes. “What are you doing to her Haz?”

“Nothing Pez. Little Tobs friends want to know about the Tobin Special.”

The architect just grinned. “Why don’t we sit and then I’ll tell you all?” And Tobin’s groan she grinned wider. “Even just the short version.”

Very quickly the group sat down in their seats and they turned their attention to Perry. Tobin was pouting next to Christen and Ali, but everyone could tell that she wasn’t too worried.

“Tobin was 6 and honestly a nightmare to feed. If you think you were a picky eater, Tobin will beat it.”

“PERRY!” Tobin exclaimed.

Cody chuckled and spoke, turning the attention to him. “Don’t worry kiddo. Christen refused to eat anything that was red for three months when she was 6 because she thought it was made of blood.”

“DADDY!” Christen blushed scarlet as everyone giggled. The banker was unapologetic, especially since Tobin was also giggling.

“Anyway, she chucked a tantrum one night, threw her plate on the floor and everything, refusing to eat because the potatoes touched the beans.”

“The peas touched the carrots!” Tobin butted in, blushing. “If you are going to embarrass me, at least get it right.” She grumbled, and Ali put her arm around her shoulder trying to hold in her laughter.

“Right. I left the food on the floor, picked up Tobin and put her in the car. We drove for ages until she pointed out this place. We come in, it’s busy and loud and Tobin and I both look like total crap. Then Nonna comes from out the back and sees us. She pushes Nico, her grandson, out of the way and leads us to a table in the corner.” Perry smiles at the woman who is blushing slightly but pretending nothing is up. “She asks Tobin want she wanted to eat. And this little, tiny Tobin, looks up with the biggest doe eyes I have ever seen and asks –“

_“for a super cheesy pizza wif extwa cheese and choccy milk.”_

Nonna and Perry spoke at the same time, much to everyone’s amusement. Tobin just smiled sheepishly at the group.

Nonna came and stood behind Tobin and smiled down at her. “She ate it all and then put her face on the plate and fell asleep. Had sauce all over her face. It was adorable.”

Perry smiled. “Tobin ate the same thing every time we came. It turned into the Tobin Special because that is what Nico and Nonna started calling it.”

“Can we eat now? Please?” Tobin pleaded, looking at Nonna.

The older lady smiled down at her. “Of course.”

* * *

“So you’re Harry the Second?”

Allie jumped. She was standing in the corner by herself. Bati had just left to go to the bathroom. “I guess I am. Allie Long.”

Harriet shook the offered hand. “Harriet Michaels.”

Allie frowned. “That sounds familiar for some reason.”

“I’m a journalist and photographer. My articles have been in lots of places. You may have seen my name on a bi line. What are you studying?”

“Exercise and Sports Science. It’s good. I actually understand what the hell they are talking about when Tobes is with the doctor.”

Harriet chuckled. “I don’t know how many times google saved my ass when she lived with us and she had to see the doctor. I know more about shoulder tendons and shit than anyone who isn’t trained should.”

Allie chuckled and looked across, seeing Tobin talking with Christens sisters. Christen and Cody were talking to Perry and the sisters seemed to be ensuring Tobin was properly distracted. Allie knew they were plotting something.

“What was Little Tobes like?”

Harriet paused. She looked at Allie as if she was deliberating. “Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“For the first two months, if she wasn’t shaking in fear she was hiding in a closet. She was terrified and every time she closed her eyes, she was back next door with that asshole. Only after he was put away officially did she start to come out of her shell.”

“And after that?” Allie asked hopefully.

Harriet chuckled. “I remember the first time she laughed at my house. We had made a fort and were watching the Lion King together. She thought Timon and Pumba were hilarious. Giggling whenever they came on screen, cackling when they joked. We must have watched the Lion King every day until she moved with Perry.”

Allie smiled slightly at the image. “That doesn’t surprise me at all. I am sure you and Perry were great with her. Her big sisters.”

“I may be her sister, but Perry isn’t.” Harriet said seriously. “She is her Mum. And her Dad. In every way that counts.”

“Really?”

Harriet nodded. “Did Tobin tell you why she picked number 98?”

“No. Only said that if she had her choice, she would be 98 for the National Team too, but 17 would have to do when she finally got to be senior enough to have it.”

Harriet smiled. “November 23rd, 1998 was when Perry officially adopted her. Hence, 98.”

They were quiet for a minute before Harriet spoke again. “Tobin calling you Harry doesn’t just mean you remind her of me. You know that, right? You are you. You aren’t a replacement. It’s a title bestowed on those awesome enough to earn it and hard enough to hold it up.”

“Tobin said it had something to do with my ‘don’t fuck with me and mine’ attitude and all that.” Allie said with a slight grin.

“That is true.” Harry chuckled before sobering. “Tobin is special, and she sees the world and people differently. Once she lets you in, even if it takes years, she won’t let you go.”

Allie nodded. “I know.”

Harry turned to Allie. “She has been hurt and she lost trust in everyone. I was the first person she let back in. Do you know why?”

“No.”

“I protected her in a way her sister couldn’t. Perry was under a microscope from social services and couldn’t put a foot out of line. One day, we were picking Tobin up from school and saw some older kids, maybe 10, teasing her. What was worse was that their older siblings were there as well, just ignoring it. I told Perry to turn and sit in the diner while I picked Tobin up.” Harry sighed. “I went over there and started a bit of a scuffle with the seniors and pulled Tobin out. I sent her towards the diner and Perry before I found a teacher and reported it. The seniors and their siblings got in trouble and three days later I got the snot beat out of me for being a snitch. Tobin was the one who got the ice for my nose and sat with me.”

“I had physically shown her that it didn’t matter who was there, I had her back. I protected her, regardless of whether it got me in trouble. Tobin, no matter how hard she tries, struggles to read someone’s emotions or know what they want without it being stated for them. To the point she would assume everyone was against her because that is what it seemed like. She needs physical and verbal reassurance to know you are there for them. I went with the mostly physical route. I am assuming you did as well.” Harriet said calmly.

“I told our coach to back off and stood in front of her when he was on her back.” Allie said quietly.

Harriet nodded. “It was probably the physical movement as well as the words.”

“I also got a yellow card taking a chick out who elbowed her. No ball in sight.”

Harriet chuckled. “I am going to assume you did lots of little things that for you seemed like nothing, but for Tobin were a sign you were someone who would fight for her. Am I right?”

Allie blushed a bit. “I guess so.”

Harriet nodded. “Be proud. Tobin let you in. And even more importantly, she trusts you. I don’t mean to sound cocky, but getting called Harry is a big fucking deal.”

Allie snorted in laughter. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. You got big shoes to fill kid.”

* * *

“So have you interrogated all of Tobin’s friends yet, Harry?”

Perry walked towards one of her eldest friends smiling.

“Oh, only the new Harry. I think Christen is having a hard-enough time with some of the other friends. I’ll get her in due course I am sure.”

Perry chuckled. “I am happy you are here.”

Harry leant into her side. “Me too. Tobin was surprised which is perfect.”

“Yea. She has a lot of people here for her. I don’t think I realised just how many people she has in her corner. I don’t think she realises yet either. Even if a lot of them are here.” Perry said.

Harry chuckled darkly. “Tobes either knows arseholes fuckwits who pick on her or amazingly kind people who would fight for her to the end of the world. I just wish she knew who was who, earlier.”

“The arseholes are obvious. It is the ones who are genuine people she doesn’t trust. She has no reason to most of the time. She finds them eventually. And they stay because they know she is worth it.” Perry said softly. “And now she has Christen.”

Harry smiled. “Tobin looks at her like she put the stars in the sky just for her. It is amazing.”

“Proud?”

Harry laughed. “Very. Who would have thought Little Tobes would have game? We don't.”

Perry chuckled. “She doesn’t. She was purely herself and Christen fell for her. Which is even better.”

“I guess it is.”

The pair stood watching the group interact and joke together. They didn’t need to talk, but Harry could tell that Perry had something to talk to her about.

“She asked me when you were leaving again.” Perry said quietly. “Less than an hour after you got here.”

There it was. “Pez…” Harry started.

“You break her heart unintentionally every time. Just give me some warning this time so I can be prepared to put it back together.”

Harry groaned. “Oh my god. I am not going anywhere Pez.”

Perry was stunned. “Say what?”

Harry nodded. “I got promoted. I’m no longer going to be travelling the world reporting on wars and shit. Some shit happened on my last trip and I wanted something a bit slower. They put me on a desk in LA, giving me time to write that book I wanted to write and report on the criminal courts.”

“Criminal…”

“Going back to what got me noticed in the first place.” Harry snarked.

“Harry, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

The reporter rolled her eyes. “I hurt Tobin.”

“She didn’t care. She just hated the thought you had to go through it again. He had died, you reported on the reaction and reminded the world that he had lost the right to be called a doctor. He wasn’t a prominent doctor who had been unjustly killed in prison. He was a child abuser who was on the losing side of a prison fight. You kept her name, the details of what he did to her, out of the press. You protected her. You never hurt her.” Perry insisted.

Harry sniffed. “I feel like I profited on her pain.”

Perry pulled her close. “Never. Your passion for justice shone through and that got you the job. You have never done anything to hurt her.”

The two stood there for a few minutes and didn’t speak. They just watched the room and Perry knew Harry needed it. She needed to see Tobin relaxing with her friends. She needed to see her with her guard down. She needed to see that Tobin was okay. Yes, she struggled but she was safe! She was happy and almost every single person in that room was there for her and her alone.

“Tobin may have been hurt, but it fucked us up too.” Harry said bluntly. “We can deal with it and we learnt how to cope. What happens when something comes and turns her world on its head?”

Perry sighed. “We just have to be there for her.”

* * *

It was late and most of the group had left. The National Team players were heading back to their hotel and flying out the next day. They would be back in a month for camp anyway. Most of the UNC players were out partying and celebrating. Ali and Ash had snuck off together and the only one who didn’t realise was Tobin. Perry vowed to have a word to the pair when she next saw them. They were not subtle.

The only ones left were Christen and her family, Tobin, Perry and Harry. Tobin was sitting next to Harry and had her head on the reporter’s shoulder. She was latched on tight.

“Are you staying for Christmas Harry?” Tobin asked quietly.

“I am heading back to Jersey to see Mum before I have to get to LA for work in January.”

Tobin grinned. “I am glad you get to stay in LA now. I don’t have to worry about you being in a warzone.”

“I am sure I will find a way to make some trouble regardless.”

“You wouldn’t be Harry if you didn’t.” Tobin joked before she settled. “So you are going to be at home for Christmas then?” She wanted clarification.

“Well, I never said that. Perry?” Harry said and Tobin shot up so could see her sister. She had a massive grin on her face.

“It was meant to be a surprise Haz.” She scolded gently.

“I’m not sorry Pez.”

Perry chuckled. “Tobin, have you asked Christen what was happening with her family for Christmas?”

Tobin shook her head. “No, but Gran Fran said it was always at Cody’s house because he had the most room and most of the family lived out there. She said everyone got matching jammies and one year Cody’s were too small and you could see his belly and his shins!”

The group chuckled and Cody blushed. “God damn it Mum.” He muttered.

Stacey smiled at the teen. “We were hoping that you would come and spend Christmas with us. Perry said you had no big plans and Harriet called her Mum and told her in no uncertain terms that they were having a sunny Christmas.”

Tobin grinned. “Really?”

“Really.” The matriarch responded.

“Awesome.”

* * *

Allie couldn't sleep. The name Harriet Michaels was flying around her brain and she knew that it was important. It wasn't because she was a reporter, there was something she had written about which was sticking with her.

It was 2am and she rolled out of bed and over to her computer. She booted it up and waited for the internet to kick in. She didnt know what she was looking for but she knew it was big.

It took over an hour of searching through news sections before Allie suddenly froze. 

_Child abuser dead in prison fight._

_By Harriet Michaels_

_17/7/2005_

"Shit. I remember this." She read on.

_What this man did does not need to be re-hashed. There are links to his crimes at the bottom of this article. The coverage of the trial was extensive and his victim has been traumatised enough. They do not need to see it once again in the papers if they are unlucky enough to have not escaped this. They would be 14 years of age._

_This is meant to be a factual article. But it will also be an opinion peace. I am stating this now. And I am prepared for the backlash. Because this is an area which, as he was proven guilty and the details are all in the open (again, see bottom of page), I feel needs to be of someones opinion. Facts are cold. Hard. What this man did was calculated, cold, hard. And the initial reaction was hot. Volatile and the world wanted him to burn._

_Now he is dead and some of the world wants to paint this as a unjust prison sentence of a doctor who had given everything to society. And yes, he was a doctor. And he did help people. _ _But he also abused a child for 9 months, and he was imprisoned for it. We only know of the one child, and only because they were brave enough to speak up and brave enough to run._

_Any good that was done by this man was washed away the second he hurt that child. Those saying he should have been let out of prison or been allowed to serve while using his skills as a doctor are imbeciles. That child was cut by scalpels and you want him to be handed another one? For who? Are you brave enough to see him?_

_The man who died in this fight is not a prominent member of society. He is scum, the lowest of scum. The footage is clear. He started a fight with a new inmate who looked physically weaker than him. He was not ganged up on. He was not cornered and the guards did not turn a blind eye. He attacked. And now he is dead._

_Do not change the story. Do not change what happened because he is dead. He is an abuser and the child he abused will never be the same. Their family, friends, neighbours, will never be the same. And that man, who lost his medical license, his freedom, his reputation, is now dead and buried. He is not the one who was wronged. He no longer has to live with what he did. He no longer has to serve his time._

_The child he abused will bare the scars of his treatment for their entire life. Mental, physical, emotional. They are all there for the world to see. If only one cared to look._

_A child abuser died in prison. The fact this had to be written to counter the articles stating he should have been protected, not imprisoned, given preferential treament because he was a doctor are disgusting. I do not want to write this._

_But someone has to._

_For the child who everyone forgets. _

Allie sat back, stunned. She saw the links to the previous articles and knew she would click on them. But she also knew it would not be tonight. 

There had been enough revealed already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back? This was hard to write (momentum and motivation) but I got to a place I felt happy to leave it
> 
> Again, I would have liked the chapter to be but I'm getting back into it. But we get more Harry next chapter which is great. I am liking writing her.  
Get a bit of everyone and everything in this chapter. Next one probs christmas and maybe even into camp but i honestly dont know
> 
> Thoughts? Questions? comments? Rants? I love them all 
> 
> see you soon i hope  
ellaaa25


	18. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected event sparks conversations at the Press household

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been about a month but I hope this is worth the wait - it was meant to cover Christmas and getting back to UNC, but the conversations got longer and deeper, so I left it. 
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Also haven’t replied to the comments on the last chapter (life be crazy) sorry!!

“This is where Christen grew up? It’s lovely.” Harry asked the group as they walked up to the house.

Stacey had picked them up from the airport. “Thank you. It’s a bit big now all the girls have left for college, but we’d never move. It’s home.”

Julie, Harry’s Mum, voiced her agreement. “Same with my house. Without Harry, it’s just me but I have the occasional foster kid come through and the space is good for that.”

Stacey smiled at the group as they moved into the front room. “All the space is helpful at times like Christmas.”

“Where is Tobin? Harry assured me that we’d see her before dinner tonight?” Julie asked her host.

Stacey chuckled. “Cody dragged her out shopping this morning. I don’t know why or what for but the pair of them looked like they were the only ones in on an amazing joke so I’m assuming they are looking for something broken to fix. They’ll be back sooner or later.”

Perry just rolled her eyes while Julie grinned. “She still does that stuff?”

“Oh yeah.”

Julie looked proud. “I’m glad. It’s the one thing she loved that no else touched.”

The women sat down on the couch and Perry sighed. “Where are your three?” She asked. She had expected at least one of the Press daughters to greet her.

Stacey grinned. “Shopping. As soon as Cody and Tobin left, Channing and Tyler were dragging Christen out the door. Chris did not look too impressed and was protesting the entire time.”

“Oh no. You don’t think?” Perry was trying not to burst out laughing.

Stacey giggled. “I do.”

Perry snorted and chuckled while Harry and Julie looked on confused. “Anyone want to fill us Michaels’ in?” Harry asked sarcastically.

“Two of my daughters are under the impression Christen needs lingerie. Christen is fighting them on it. From the looks on their faces earlier, the two beat the one.” Perry explained.

Julie just giggled while Harry blurted out. “That could kill Tobin.”

The three others burst out into proper laughter, well aware that Harry’s observation was true.

“That girl is in trouble.”

“We know!”

* * *

The Press daughters beat Cody and Tobin home and a blushing Christen was dragged into her room by her giggling sisters, causing the four women to laugh and pour more wine in celebration.

They were right.

Every protest and complaint they heard from Christen got another sip of wine and a giggle.

* * *

Cody and Tobin returned about 20 minutes after the sisters and immediately went to the four women at the kitchen island. Julie wrapped the teen in a hug as soon as she saw her, while Perry and Harry joined over the top. Cody went and kissed his wife on the cheek before he whispered in her ear.

“We need to chat with Perry tonight.”

Stacey just nodded.

The reunion went on for a few minutes before Tobin wriggled free and smiled at Stacey. She grinned back. “Christen is in her room.”

Tobin beamed. “Thanks!”

She shot off like a bullet and up the stairs. The four women waited with baited breath as they heard the door open. Cody had no idea what was going on.

They heard a squeal and loud bang before a well-known voice called out.

“OW SHIT!”

The five scrambled.

* * *

Tobin was bouncing as she ran up the stairs. She wanted to tell Christen all about where her dad had taken her. It had been amazing, and she was buzzing. Tobin was stuck in her head and she knew Christen was in her room. She hadn’t had to knock on the door of a room Christen was in except when she was taking her on a date, so she didn’t think about doing it this time. Besides, Christen said it was her room too, like it was at school. They never knocked at school.

“Hey Chr…” Tobin’s jaw dropped after she walked through the door and she froze.

Christen turned around to see Tobin standing there, dumbstruck and staring. She squealed loudly and immediately grabbed a shirt to cover her front. “Tobin!” She was stunned.

Tobin snapped back to herself and looked up at the roof. “Sorry! I didn’t know!” She squeaked before turning and trying to bolt out the door.

*SMACK*

“OW SHIT!” Tobin cursed loudly before stumbling backwards and landing on her butt on the floor.

“TOBIN!” Christen threw a shirt on over her head and knelt next to her girlfriend. Tyler and Channing looked at each other wide eyed before they started putting the shopping in Christens closet. They could hear the proper adults moving up the stairs and it was bad enough without their dad seeing what Christen had bought that day.

(And the other stuff they bought when she wasn't looking and made her try on at home.)

Christen looked down at her girlfriend who was lying on the floor holding one hand over her eyes and one over her nose. The adults had congregated in the doorway and looked concerned, but they weren’t crowding in on the pair.

Yet.

“Honey? Can you move your hands away from your face for me?” Christen asked quietly.

Tobin just groaned and shook her head. Christen sighed. “Tobin.”

“Mo!” The word was nasally and mumbled, causing Christen to frown and look up at the adults. Cody and Stacey turned to look at Perry who just rolled her eyes.

“Tobin. Are you hurt?” Perry’s voice was clear and stern. A no bullshit tone.

Tobin shook her head.

“Are you lying to me?”

Another shake.

“Are you sure? Because I can see blood on your hands.”

Tobin just sighed defeatedly.

“Can you guys give us some space?” The group moved out of the doorway and Channing and Tyler went with them, leaving only Perry, Christen and Tobin in the room. Perry moved to kneel next to her sister. “I am going to hold your hands and move them away from your face. Ready?”

“Mo.” Tobin mumbled.

“Too bad. 1. 2. 3.” Perry moved her sisters’ hands away from her face. “There. Now open your eyes.”

Tobin opened her eyes and saw Christen and Perry kneeling over her. She immediately blushed and looked at her sister’s shoulder. There was a wine stain there and it had an interesting pattern.

Perry smiled. “What happened?”

Tobin somehow went redder. “I wam in do da door dam.” The stain looked like a flower. Tobin raised her hand up and started tracing it. It was soothing and distracting.

“Okay.” Perry wasn’t going to ask why. She could tell it had something to do with Christens state of dress. She didn’t comment on her sister tracing her shirt. “You look like you have broken your nose and busted your lip. We need to get you to the hospital.”

“I wine! Pwomise.” Tobin sat up and smiled, showing off bloody teeth. “See?”

Perry just rolled her eyes. “Harry and I are taking you to the hospital. No arguments.”

Tobin pouted before she hissed in pain. Perry just shrugged.

Christen was still kneeling next to her girlfriend in underwear and a t-shirt, embarrassed but also feeling happy about the initial reaction she had gotten from Tobin seeing her in the lingerie. That dumbfounded look that made her brain stop.

She would never, ever, tell her sisters that.

* * *

Tobin had to get a few stitches in her lip that she had split, and her nose realigned. If she broke it again, she may need a nose job but right now they were happy with it. They had put a few Band-Aids across her nose and told her to ice it. Perry was just proud Tobin didn’t try and fight the doctors who were helping her. She didn’t complain, she didn’t fight, even if she was stroppy and feeling sorry for herself. The fact she was in and out of the strange hospital in under an hour helped.

Rather than go straight back to the Press household (Stacy had kindly lent the three her car) Perry and Harry took Tobin to a diner for a milkshake. She was feeling miserable, embarrassed and possibly confused about her feelings, and the two knew they needed to get her to talk about what had happened and what she felt before she shut down.

Harry sat next to Tobin in the booth and the younger girl curled into her side slightly. Harry had always been able to get close to Tobin when she wasn’t comfortable with anyone else and this was no different.

“Do you want to tell us what happened or are we going to sit here in awkward silence?” Harry asked quietly.

Tobin just took a slurp of her milkshake and shook her head.

“How about I guess what happened and you just nod or shake to say yes or no?”

Tobin shrugged, which Harry took as a go ahead.

“I’m assuming that you saw Christen with less clothes on than you are used to. Is that right?” Harry voice was calm and steady, and Perry watched on with a small smile on her face. The pairs relationship was unique, and she loved seeing them interact.

Tobin nodded and blushed.

“Okay. And I think you panicked?”

Tobin nodded. “She squealed loud. It spooked me. She never did before.” The words were quiet but there was no lisp, which was a positive.

“So you ran?”

Tobin shrugged. “Running is normally safer than staying.”

Harry smiled sadly and pulled her in for a tighter hug. “Oh honey.”

“Did I do a bad thing?” Tobin asked.

Harry sighed. “I think the only thing you could have done was knocked first before you went in.”

“Chris said I don’t have to cause it is my room to. The same way it is at school.” Tobin was confused. “I don’t understand. Why would I have to knock if she told me I didn’t have to?”

Harry looked at Perry who nodded. “Tobin, I think this is a talk you need to have with Christen.” Perry said softly. “She wasn’t expecting you and even though it is your room too right now, sometimes you still need to knock if the door is shut.”

“But Chris said I don’t have to! Why do I now have to? Why are the rules changing and why is no one telling me why?” Tobin was starting to get emotional.

Harry just held her and soothed her until she felt Tobin’s start to settle. “Honey, you need to talk with Chris about this. We don’t know why, and maybe you won’t have to, but something made you panic and caused you to run into the door. We need to figure that out, so it doesn’t happen again.”

Tobin sniffed and was quiet for about five minutes before she got her thoughts in order and knew what she wanted to say. “Chris wasn’t wearing clothes. Just underwear. I wasn’t expecting it.”

Harry and Perry smiled at each other; happy the teen was talking to them. “Wouldn’t you have seen that in your dorm room? Or in the locker room?”

Tobin shrugged. “Yeah. But this was different. It was all see through and had lace and stuff.” Tobin blushed and looked up at her sister. “There wasn’t much on her butt.” Tobin whispered the last bit, not because she was ashamed but because she was embarrassed. And she didn’t know why.

Harry had to bite back a laugh while Perry did very well not breaking. “You saw Christens butt and it made you panic?” Perry asked for clarification.

Harry was going red.

Tobin nodded.

“Has this happened before?” Perry asked kindly.

“Sometimes Chris gets up early and does yoga in our room. She wears short tights. My heart starts beating really fast and I have to have a shower before I say something stupid.” Tobin was able to talk about it calmly. It surprised the older pair.

“Have you told her that?”

Tobin shook her head. “No. But I told Ash.”

Harry butted in. “What did she say?” She knew Tobin went to Ash for advice about sex, but this was the first time she had a reason to bring it up.

“Ash said I was an ass girl.” Tobin frowned. “I told her I liked Christen because she was Christen, not because her bottom looked good in tights. Ash just chuckled and said I was an innocent cinnamon roll and sent me to class. I’m human, not a pastry.”

Perry made a mental note to talk to Ash about the advice she gave her sister before she replied. “Okay. That’s good to know. I still think you need to tell Christen this. I am sure she feels bad.”

Tobin sighed. “I got distracted by her butt and then panicked and ran into the wall. She shouldn’t feel bad.”

Harry and Perry just smiled at each other.

Their little girl was growing up.

* * *

There was no mention of Tobin’s bruised face that night at dinner, and there was an unspoken rule not to tease anyone about what had happened. When the couple disappeared off to bed early, no one made any comment on it. Harry and Perry just hoped that they were talking.

Stacy and Cody took the time to pull Perry to the side and talk to her.

“Perry, we don’t want to get involved and interfere in your life, but we need to ask you something. It’s about Tobin.” Cody was serious.

Perry leant back and nodded. “What happened?”

“Nothing bad.” Cody assured her. “Today, I took her to the used car yard. We were talking about cars and how I used to help my dad fix them and she wanted to see some. We were going to see if there was an old clunker that we could work on and fix together, that way we both learnt something new.”

Perry looked at Cody with narrowed eyes. “What did you buy?”

Cody smiled. “Nothing. There wasn’t anything there that we liked the look of. But that isn’t the point. Tobin said she never learnt to drive.”

Perry sighed. “High school didn’t leave Tobin much time to learn how to drive. She was too young for drivers ed and I never had a car to teach her. We walked or bussed it. Then she was at college, living on campus and our house is within walking distance. It didn’t really come up Cody. She has her learners permit, but I don’t think she has ever gotten behind the wheel.”

Cody nodded. “I know. Which is why we have a proposal for you.”

“Okay.”

“We are giving Christen a car for Christmas and her 21st birthday that she can take back to North Carolina. This way she will have a way to get around independently if she wants to, and then once she finishes school, she has a vehicle for med school. I was hoping you would allow me to start to teach Tobin how to drive while she is here for the next week, in Christens new car, and then when she gets home, she can continue to learn in that same car? I am sure she has friends who will teach her and Christen will too.”

“You want me to allow you to teach Tobin to drive?” Perry asked, just for clarification.

Cody nodded. “It is something all kids need to know.”

Perry chuckled. “You are essentially giving Tobin and Christen a car for Christen birthday. You know that right?”

Cody and Stacy both smiled slightly, and Stacy shrugged. “Maybe we are. Is that a problem?”

“No.” Perry shook her head. “I think it is a very good idea for Tobin to learn how to drive. If it happens to be in a car that belongs to her girlfriend, so be it.”

The architect thanked them again before she walked away and plopped down so close to Harry she was almost in her lap. The writer just put her arm around her and kept talking to Tyler and her Mum. It was like it was natural.

Cody looked at Stacy and cocked an eyebrow. “What’s going on there?”

Stacy just shrugged. “No idea. Even Julie doesn’t know much.”

“Are they sharing a room?”

Stacy nodded. “They usually do if they are in the same place apparently. When Tobin was little, she used to sleep in between them, so they are used to it.”

Cody just shook his head and chuckled. “This is going to be a fun Christmas.”

* * *

Tobin was being awkward.

She was lying down on the bed, staring up at the roof with Christen sitting next to her, fidgeting with her fingers. She didn’t know if she could cuddle with her, she didn’t know if she could say anything. She was unsure of what was allowed, and she didn’t have her words and thoughts organised as of yet. Her conversation with Perry and Harry was bouncing around her brain.

Christen was sitting next to Tobin reading a book while having her fingers fiddled with by Tobin. She knew that the teen needed to work out her thoughts before she said anything, and that it would only be an awkward situation if Christen made it one. If she kept calm, Tobin would too.

It was about half an hour of silence before Tobin exhaled loudly.

“I’m sorry.”

Christen closed her book and turned to look at Tobin. “What for?”

“For startling you. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting you to come in. I thought you would be out all day.” Christen assured her.

Tobin frowned. “Perry and Harry said I should have knocked. But you said I didn’t have to if it was our room. Your mum said you were in there, so I didn’t knock.”

Christen gently pulled Tobin up to sit next to her, but the teen wouldn’t look at her. She just kept her attention on their joined hands. “Tobin. You didn’t do anything wrong. I said it was your room too and that you didn’t have to knock. Yes, I wasn’t expecting you to come in but that isn’t your fault.”

Tobin shrugged. “But you weren’t dressed, and I just walked in. Maybe I should have knocked, even if it just gave you time to get changed.”

Christen sighed and moved one of her hands to the side of Tobin’s face. “Can you look at me please?”

Tobin looked up at Christen, but she didn’t keep her eyes on her for long. Christen was just happy she was no longer looking at their hands.

“Were you hoping that coming in the room without knocking would allow you to see me without my clothes on?”

Tobin shook her head. “No! I would never do that! I wanted to tell you about what we saw at the junk yard!”

Christen smiled. “Okay. If we were at college, would you have knocked when you came into our room?”

“Only if someone else was coming with me.”

“So why would you act any differently here if I said that it was just like our room at school?” Christen asked.

Tobin frowned. “But Harry and Perry-“

“Don’t know how we are at school and how we interact.” Christen interrupted. “How many times have you come into a room when I wasn’t wearing clothes? Just a bra and shorts?”

“Heaps, but they weren’t normal underwear today.” Tobin blurted out before blushing and ducking her head.

Christen smiled. “Which is why we both reacted differently. You were stunned and I was spooked, which cause you to panic. It happens and now we can work it out.”

Tobin looked up. “Do you want me to knock?”

Christen shook her head. “No honey. If I ever want you to knock before entering, I will tell you in advance. And that will only because I have surprise for you.”

Tobin smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

Christen grinned. “Do you want to tell me what made you panic and run into the door jam?”

Tobin groaned and hung her head. “Really?”

Christen giggled. “Yea!”

Tobin huffed. “You looked really good and I wasn’t prepared for it. Especially your butt.” Tobin looked mortified the last part was blurted out and she slapped a hand over her mouth.

Christen tried not to giggle too much. “Tobin?”

The teen looking up and saw Christen smiling at her. “Yea?”

“I’m flattered you love my butt.” Tobin flopped back onto the bed and threw a pillow over her face. Christen just laughed and laid down next to her, kissing her shoulder. “If it makes you feel better, I feel the same about your abs.” Christen said quietly.

Tobin pulled the pillow off her face, looking confused. “Really?”

Christen nodded. “Really really.”

Tobin broke out into a pleased smile but also blushed. “Awesome.” She worked hard on them.

Christen chuckled. “You know we are going to have to keep talking about this. To make sure we are both on the same page about boundaries and that kind of thing. You okay with that?”

Tobin nodded.

“Brilliant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THoughts? Let me know!
> 
> (Next chap will hopefully cover up until camp at UNC)


	19. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas and Christen birthday make for an exciting week in LA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some help with a bit of this chapter, and I want to thank them - You know who you are, what you helped me with and you are the real MVP - 
> 
> AGES:  
Chris is turning 21 in this in 2008 - so she is a year older than in reality. I fucked up and cant be assed fixing it, so she is born December 29th, 1987 not 1988. Tobin is born May 29th, 1991.
> 
> Perry and Harry are both 29/30 -> 12 years older than Tobin. They were both highschool seniors when Tobin went to live with Harry.

“Hey Tobin?” Channing came and sat on the floor next to the teen who was doing a holiday reading on Christmas Eve morning. Her feet were in Christens lap on the couch while her head was on a pillow on the floor. Tobin insisted she was comfortable.

“Yeah?”

“How’s my computer going?” Channing didn’t really care about it, but it had been months and she was curious. Tobin suddenly blushed while Christen started giggling. This just made Channing even more curious. “What?”

Tobin gave Channing a cheesy smile. “I may have pulled it apart to see what was wrong.”

“And?”

“I don’t know how to put it back together.” Tobin said quickly.

Channing looked at her sister and saw she was looking down at Tobin with love in her eyes. Channing just chuckled. “Alright Tobin. So maybe next time I see you we will know what was wrong with it?”

Tobin nodded eagerly. “I’ll figure it out! I am pretty sure it is a software thing, not hardware. But I won’t know for sure until I put it back together properly.”

“Okay then.” Channing smiled. “Do either of you want to come down to the beach with Tyler and me? We need to get out of the house.”

The couple both accepted the invitation and got up to join them. Tobin hissed and put her hands over her broken nose.

“Tobin?” Christen asked, concerned.

“The blood rushed when I stood and now my nose throbs.” Tobin whined.

Christen and Channing couldn’t hold in their laughter. Tobin pouting just made them laugh harder.

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and Stacy, Cody and Julie were staying up later than their kids to get the living room ready for Christmas morning. They had moved the furniture around and were placing presents in the right places while enjoying chatting to each other and learning about their lives.

“Is there anything that we should look out for tomorrow?” Cody asked suddenly.

Julie frowned. “What do you mean?”

“With any of your three. Is there anything that do on Christmas Day that they have always done that we should be aware of?” Cody explained.

“Oh yeah.” Julie pointed to the corner of the room where an armchair was placed. “Who normally sits there on Christmas Day?”

Cody shrugged. “No one has a set spot. Why?”

“Because Tobin will be most comfortable sitting where she can see everything that is happening, and no one can sneak up behind her. Harry will do her best to take the attention away from Tobin while Perry will usually sit quietly and not say much.”

Cody nodded. “I had noticed Tobin likes to be able to see everything.”

Julie nodded. “She isn’t someone who likes to be snuck up on. And make sure she has something to hold or fiddle with while she sitting, otherwise she will pick at the threads of the chair without much thought.”

Stacy chuckled. “We’ve noticed that. Normally she fiddles with Christens fingers but she when hasn’t got anything the hold, she will put a hole in something.”

“She doesn’t even notice half the time. It is just who she is.” Julie explained.

Stacy and Cody just nodded and continued the conversation until it was time for bed. Tomorrow would be a hectic day.

* * *

Perry and Harry were awoken at 4am by the door creaking as it opened. Neither moved nor opened their eyes. They just listened and waited for what they knew was coming.

Tobin had a routine on Christmas morning, and it had started her first Christmas in Perry’s care. When she was younger, before she went into care, she didn’t have much of an idea of what was happening except that the day was loud, and everyone was always touching and hugging her. It was overstimulating and it freaked her out. Tobin remembered Perry and Katie would take turns sitting with her in her bedroom if she got stressed and it helped her calm down. They would build with lego’s or draw. Whatever she needed to settle again.

Her first Christmas in care was quiet and calming, which was made better with Perry coming over for the holidays. It was just the pair of them and Tobin’s foster parents. There was no extravagance, no craziness. It was perfect for a kid like Tobin who just wanted to be with her sister and build with the blocks. The second (and last) Christmas Tobin was in care, she paraded around a party the doctor had thrown to show off, hating every second of it and never receiving any gifts or having any fun. It was tense and stressful and by the end of the night she had hidden herself away in a wardrobe to try and block out the noise.

Tobin and Harry had their own rooms when Tobin had lived with Julie, but most of the time they had shared Harry’s bed. Tobin felt safe with Harry and would sneak into her room every night without fail. Harry was her safety blanket.

When Perry stayed with the Michaels as well, Tobin would go into Perry’s room, wake her up and lead her into Harry’s room so they could all sleep in the same bed. Tobin was safely snuggled in the middle of the two older teens, unaware that it was what some people would find weird. She just knew that in between the two of them, no one could hurt her, and she could turn her mind off and relax.

When the Heath’s moved to North Carolina for Perry’s college scholarship, Harry went NYU and Tobin struggled not having them both close for comfort when she needed it. Perry eventually managed to get Tobin to stay in her own bed and sleep there most nights, except when she was overly excited, afraid or her brain was running wild. It was a hard process but Tobin getting her own fort as a bedroom really helped. It was her safe place and she didn’t need her sister every time something was worrying her. She was safe in her fort under the couch.

When they returned to New Jersey for Christmas, Tobin knew she had to stay in her own bed, but she was so excited that she only got till 2am before she manoeuvred the now 19-year-old’s around the house. Harry and Perry just rolled their eyes and went with whatever the 6-year-old wanted.

For a lot of big events or days, Tobin would wake up early, emotions running wild and jumped into bed with the pair for comfort and calm. It slowed by the time she was a teenager, but it still happened on occasion.

This year they weren’t expecting anything different, even if they did hope for Tobin to stay with Christen in their room. But they knew it was a bigger Christmas than normal and that Tobin would probably be excited.

Tobin didn’t break tradition and came to their room. She tried to tip-toe across the room but in the dark stubbed her little toe on the bed frame. The sound had Perry sitting up and Harry flicking the bedside lamp on. They saw Tobin hopping on one foot, trying her best not to yell in pain by squeezing her eyes shut and holding her breath. Perry smiled slightly to herself and moved out of the bed. When Tobin opened her eyes, Perry helped her hop into the bed and got back under the covers. Tobin laid down between the pair and exhaled sharply.

“You okay Tobi?” Harry asked quietly.

The teen groaned. “Little toes were only made to step on Lego’s and kick furniture. They have no other use.” The teen curled in on herself and tucked herself between the pair tightly. She was almost vibrating.

Harry chuckled. “Is that so?” Tobin just nodded so Harry continued, but changed the subject. “Why are you shaking so crazily today Tobi?”

Perry just rolled her eyes but pulled her sister closer. Harry always was blunt.

Tobin sighed. “I want Chris to like her present. Cody helped me but I’m nervous.”

Perry was surprised her sister was so honest about it. “It is coming from you. It will be fine love.” Harry said soothingly.

“Why didn’t you stay with Chris?” Perry asked. “She’d be the perfect person to tell you exactly what we just did.”

Tobin was quiet for a minute before she answered. “She hasn’t seen this me before.”

Harry frowned. “The bouncy, shaky, vibrating, fidgeting you?” At Tobin’s nod, Harry’s face relaxed. “Honey, that is you everyday and every night. She would have had to. Just the last few days I’ve seen you do all of that and more. You finger drummed on Tyler and Channing’s heads to the Cadbury gorilla ad just last night. Chris and you live together. She would have seen it.” The reporter tried to explain before she realised Perry was giggling. “What Perry?”

Perry giggled a bit longer before she pulled herself together. “This thing about Ali kicking in her sleep is biting you in the butt, isn’t it?”

Tobin groaned. “Shut up. Chris keeps me calm and I barely fidget most nights. If I do, she doesn’t even notice! She has never said a thing! This is different.” Tobin whined.

Harry looked at Perry for an explanation in the dark room. The architect was grinning. “Before the kids got together, Ali went to stay with them. Tobin gave up her bed for Ali and said that Ali kicks in her sleep, but Chris doesn’t because she wanted to snuggle with her.”

Harry looked at Tobin who had buried her head in the pillow. “Tobin?”

“Hmm?”

“I am both proud and disappointed.” Harry said while grinning at Perry.

“Shut up and let me vibrate in peace!” Tobin exclaimed into the bed.

Perry and Harry just giggled before they tried to get a bit more sleep before the crazy day that was Christmas.

* * *

Tobin was in her seat, bouncing on the spot. She was excited and she was nervous, but she had her most of her favourite people with her so she would be okay.

When they had Christmas in New Jersey with Julie, everyone had a pile of gifts they could open whenever they wished. When it was just Tobin and Perry, Perry insisted Tobin opened all of hers first before she would even look at her pile.

The Press Family did it differently. They went one at a time so everyone could see who got what and they could all enjoy the moment. Cody played Santa and was more excited than anyone else most years.

“I say we go youngest to eldest this year.” Stacy said with a grin. Cody had a gift ready for the teen and handed it to her quickly.

Tobin looked at the small package and saw it was from Tyler. She looked up and saw the eldest Press looked proud of herself before she ripped into the packaging and unveiled.

“A Rubik’s Cube?” Tobin asked out loud. She looked at the law student quizzically. Tyler just motioned for her to open it fully. Tobin looked confused so Christen, who was sitting on the floor in front of her, grabbed it and opened it. She then twisted it up and handed it too Tobin.

“Solve it.”

The teen looked at it for a minute before she started to twist it and attempt to solve it. She was so engrossed in it that she didn’t realise that the group was watching her every move. It took her a few minutes to see the pattern and then she was off, solving it not long afterwards. She looked up to see everyone grinning at her.

“This is awesome.” Tobin barely noticed she was still shifting the cube around. “Thank you!”

Tyler smiled. “You’re welcome Tobin.”

The teen sat back and looked on as Cody handed a present to Channing, unaware that her hands were no longer picking at the chair, but that she kept moving the cube around. Not on purpose, not to solve it, but just to keep it moving. The clicking was soothing.

After about ten minutes and a few more gifts, Christen gently grabbed the cube from Tobin, mixed it up again and then returned it. The whole group noticed the rhythmic clicking changed and slowed to a methodical one. But they all knew when Tobin figured it out because the clicks sped up until it was solved, and she let out a soft exclamation of success.

Needless to say, Tyler was very proud of herself.

* * *

The group had all gotten a few gifts. Tobin’s face had lit up when she got her new DS and games from Perry, Cody giggled when he saw Tobin had given him a ‘Football for Dummies’ book. Christen was told she had to wait until the end for her gift from her parents, while Tyler was over the moon at the new bag, she had gotten for law school.

Christen gave Tobin books. It wasn’t the most romantic thing she could have given her for their first Christmas together, but the way that Tobin’s eyes lit up as she skimmed the titles showed Christen she had made the right choice. There was a book about software and coding, one about mechanics and computers and how to build them, as well as one on engineering and the different fields within it. Tobin was interested in all of those things and she would read them for pleasure.

Tobin was getting nervous, because one of the last gifts under the tree was the one from her to Christen. Cody had helped her find the right supplier and get it organised, but it was still stressful.

Christen held the box in her hands and looked up to see her girlfriend looking at the cube in her hands. Christen just smiled before she gently tugged on her leg, silently asking Tobin to sit next to her. The teen did slowly.

Christen pulled the ribbon off and then opened the box. She saw tissue paper and could not for the life of her think of what it could be. She pulled it off slowly and gasped at what was below. “Tobin…”

The teen looked up, unsure of what to say. She just smiled softly and shrugged.

Christen pulled the stethoscope out of the box and held it aloft. It was a green colour that Christen saw reflected in the mirror every day, and the colour Tobin had said was her favourite. “This is amazing Tobin.”

The teens smile got wider. “Yeah?”

Christen wiped a tear from her eye as she nodded. “Yeah.”

Tobin visibly relaxed. “Thank God.”

Christen leant across and kissed her quickly but deeply. She wouldn’t ask about it until they were alone, but she wanted to show Tobin she really appreciated it.

Tobin had a goofy look on her face when Christen pulled back, which made everyone giggle.

It had been an amazing morning.

* * *

Christen and Tobin were in their room that afternoon. Christen was still stunned that her parents had gotten her a car for her 21st birthday and Christmas present, while Tobin was giddy that Cody was going to teach her how to drive.

They were lying together, just enjoying the quiet when Christen asked about her gift.

“Why the stethoscope Tobin? I don’t need one until Med School. I love it but I was just wondering why.” Christen asked quietly.

Tobin looked at Christen quickly before she looked back down at the Rubik’s Cube. “Every time you talk about med school or being a doctor or working in a hospital, you always look at me like I am going to break or freak out about it. And if I figured that out, it had to have happened a lot.” Tobin tried to joke to break the tension, but it fell flat. She sighed. “I wanted you to know I supported you completely. I may not have a great track record with them, but I love you and want you to know I support everything you do.”

Christen had tears in her eyes and Tobin thought she had said something wrong. She started talking to try and calm her down. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep and make you sad. I –“ Tobin was cut off by Christen kissing her again. It was wet and emotional and Tobin was confused. When Christen pulled back and just put her forehead on Tobin’s. “Huh?”

Christen chuckled at Tobin’s confusion. “I love you too.”

Tobin’s eyes widened in realisation. “I said it?”

Christen nodded with a grin. “You did.”

Tobin pouted. “I was going to tell you on your birthday.”

Christen chuckled. “I don’t mind hearing that earlier than expected.”

“But I had a plan!” Tobin whined, but her grin broke the ruse. “I love you.”

Christen beamed. “I love you too.”

* * *

Christen 21st birthday wasn’t the massive party that most people had. It was just her family and Tobin going out for dinner. Perry, Harry and Julie had flown back to the East Coast the day before for work. Christen would have a party with her friends at UNC when she returned, but even then, it would be a chilled-out event.

They went to one of Christens favourite restaurants and Tobin got to see Christen in her comfort zone. She was smiling and bouncing around, loving being home with her family. She also loved showing Tobin off, with the pair almost never seen without part of their bodies touching.

Christen wasn’t one to drink, she didn’t like feeling out of control, and it wouldn’t change now she was 21. She stuck to water at dinner, even though one glass of wine wouldn’t hurt. She wanted to ensure that she was fully in control of the night just in case it turned the way she kind of hoped it did.

After dinner, instead of heading back to the house with her family, Christen drove her new car down the coast to a little bed and breakfast. Tobin was bouncing in the passenger seat, excited to be alone with Christen. They had enjoyed being with their loved ones, but some time to just be together was necessary. While Christen didn’t have to return to school until January 10th, Tobin was due back in camp on the 4th. Because of that, they wouldn’t be returning to the house until New Year’s Eve and they were going to enjoy their time together.

The pair had chatted about sex and going further than they had in the past since Tobin broke her nose. They both wanted it to be natural and unrushed, so they were going to keep doing the same thing they had been. However, they both knew that if they wanted to try and go that little bit further, all they had to do was ask and see what the other said. The night in the B&B was not only for Christens birthday and a bit of a getaway, but for privacy from friends, family and anyone who was interested in their business. They could talk a bit more, or not, and they didn’t have to worry about anyone barging in.

They checked into the room and it was late, so they both changed into pyjamas and were going to watch a movie. Tobin wore her traditional old tracksuit pants and holey t-shirt and jumped into bed while Christen changed in the bathroom. The newly 21-year-old came out a few minutes later in her button down pyjama shirt and a pair of shorts. She climbed in next to Tobin and snuggled in. “What are we watching?”

“Iron Man. It’s awesome.” Tobin said with a grin.

They got about twenty minutes into the movie before Tobin got fidgety. Christen just kissed her on the cheek every time she settled, so Tobin kept moving to get more kisses. Christen saw through her girlfriends plans but let her go. She was always happy to give her more kisses.

A kiss on the cheek moved to quick stolen peck on the lips and before long the movie was forgotten and the pair were making out. Tobin pulled back, flushed and panting. “Chris?”

“Yea?”

Tobin swallowed. “Ca-can I undo your shirt?”

Christen smiled. “Yea babe. You can.”

Tobin grinned and moved her hands to the top button, but she was shaking so much that she couldn’t get a grip and unlink them. Tobin’s grin turned to a frown and she started getting frustrated. Eventually she just groaned and buried her into Christens chest. “Way to kill the mood Tobin.” She muttered.

Christen just pulled Tobin’s head up to look at her. “Honey?”

Tobin pouted. “Yeah?”

“I don’t care if it takes you hours to undo my buttons. It will happen when it happens.” Tobin sighed but Christen kept talking. “I’m serious. I don’t care. I will wear t-shirts if it is easier for you to take those off. We do this at our pace and our way.”

“I can’t even undo a button without fucking it up Chris.” Tobin said quietly before rolling off her and onto the other side of the bed.

Christen rolled to face Tobin and put her hand across Tobin’s stomach to reassure her. “You didn’t fuck anything up. I promise. We said we would go with the flow. Now we know that buttons stop the flow. There is an easy fix to that. Don’t panic or worry. We will get there. Neither of us have done this before. We just have to stay on the same page and keep talking.”

Tobin turned to look at her girlfriend. “I can’t believe you don’t see me as a weirdo. So many people would just walk away and think I was too hard to deal with. I fidget, I get distracted, I stutter sometimes. I get stuck in my head and I can’t even tell what people are feeling half the time. I’m a freak.”

“No. I see you as Tobin. The woman I love. So, stop talking badly about her, I don’t like it when others do it, I am not going to let you talk bad about yourself.” Christen said seriously. “You are one of the strongest, greatest, kindest, sweetest and most amazing people I have ever had the privilege of knowing.”

Tobin nodded and tucked herself into Christens side. She didn’t believe her girlfriend, but she wouldn’t argue with her. The night had gone sideways already, and it was her birthday. Tobin wasn’t going to make it worse.

Christen knew Tobin didn’t believe her but she would do everything she could to change her girlfriend’s perception of herself. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had people who knew the truth.

“Tobin?”

“Yeah?”

Christen smiled at her and kissed her softly. “I love you.”

Tobin smiled back almost on reflex. “I love you too.”

* * *

_BACK IN NORTH CAROLINA_

“Harry, don’t start trouble.” Perry said as they walked through the hall of the dorm.

“I’m not.” Harry found the door she was looking for and knocked sharply. “I am just setting the record straight.”

The door opened before Perry could respond. “Hello Ashlyn.”

The keeper was confused. “What’s going on?”

“You told Tobin she was an ass girl?” Harry asked with a serious tone and unimpressed look.

Ash chuckled. “Yeah. Because she is. Why?”

Perry pushed the goalkeeper into the room and dragged the reporter in behind her before shutting the door. “I am not having this conversation in the hallway.”

Ash sat on her bed and sighed. “I know you two are like Tobin’s parents and are this super tight couple, but she comes to me about all that stuff for a reason. I call it how it is. I have watched Tobin on multiple occasions get distracted or run into something because she is walking behind Christen in tights.”

“We aren’t a couple.”

“We aren’t a couple.”

Harry and Perry both refused to look at each other after that. Ash just looked at them in disbelief. “Riiight. Look, Tobin needed it told to her in blunt terms. Her girlfriends body turns her on. She is allowed to love her girlfriend and her body. It isn’t a bad thing.”

Perry sighed. “I get that she comes to you –“

“She comes to me because I didn’t raise her.” Ash interrupted. “You two did. It is easier for her to ask me than you. You weren’t the ones who had to explain what a dildo was, so don’t come to me and try to tell me how to answer her questions. Tobin knows what she gets from me. Accept it, cause I am not changing because you didn’t like one thing I told her.”

Harry frowned. “What else have you told her?”

Ash groaned. “For fucks sake.” She muttered. “Perry may have given her the talk, but I gave her context. I explained sexuality, flirting, dating. She came with questions, I answered them in the social context, not the scientific one. Yes, I said she was an ass girl because when she asked me why she got flustered when Chris wore tights, it was the answer.”

Harry and Perry couldn’t really argue with that and Ash knew it. “Sorry Ash.” Harry muttered.

“Apology accepted.” Ash said with a smile. “You two are like protective Mama Bears.”

“We have had to be.” Harry said with a smile. The reporter was going to say something else when her phone rang. She cursed. “It’s work.” She left the room quickly.

Ash turned to Perry and grinned. “Are you sure you two aren’t together? Cause from the stories Tobin’s told me and the little I have seen, it sounds like you two are attached at the hip when she isn’t overseas.”

Perry sighed. “We aren’t and we never have been together. It never happened. There were other things that were more important.”

“You mean Tobin?” Ash asked. “Because I hate to break it too you, in one year she will be graduating college and in the big bad world, playing soccer fulltime and you won’t have her to hide behind. You need to live your life. Harry and you are perfect, and I don’t even know her that well. You can just see it.”

Perry didn’t respond and it was quiet for a minute before Harry returned. She didn’t even get a chance to say anything before Perry left quickly. Harry frowned. “What happened?”

Ash shrugged. “I call it how I see it. I said you two looked good together and that she doesn’t have Tobin to hide behind and use an excuse anymore.”

Harry closed her eyes and groaned. “Why did you say that?”

“It’s the truth!” Ash exclaimed.

“Not the point!” Harry countered. “Perry lives for Tobin. She puts her first every single time. She is her daughter! She even adopted her as soon as she could.”

“Well, she needs to live her life.”

“I know that!”

Ash shrugged. “Well, now she has had it spelled out to her.”

Harry just slumped against the wall. “You need to stop meddling in the affairs of Heaths.”

“Heaths need to stop having shit spelled out to them.” Ash paused. “You do like her, right?”

Harry looked at Ash like she was an idiot. “Why do you think I got myself transferred home?”

“Shit went crazy?” Ash asked.

“Well, yes. But this is the first time I can see Perry actually being brave enough to not hide behind Tobin. Tobin is going out into the world and Perry might actually acknowledge someone in her life.” Harry said with a sigh. “Wait. Why the hell am I telling you this?”

Ash shrugged. “People tell me all the best stuff.”

Harry just turned and left the room. She had an architect to find.

* * *

Perry was sitting in her car, looking at her phone. Harry sighed and opened the passengers door to join her.

“You want to talk to me?” Harry asked after a minute.

Perry huffed. “I can’t.”

“Can’t talk to me or can’t date me? Because I said I would wait for you, but I still want to talk to you while I do.” Harry said quietly.

“Harry…”

“Can you let me talk for a second?” Harry said quietly. At Perry’s nod, she started. “We have been best friends since we were 18 and Tobin came to live with me. I didn’t figure out I liked you until I got to my senior year of college and I realised my boyfriend of four years didn’t meet my expectations because I was comparing him to you. So, when I asked you out a year after college, I accepted when you said no because of I would be travelling all over the world and you didn’t want to put more stress on Tobin. Because I knew you weren’t ready." Harry took a breath before she continued.

"So I waited a few years, lived my life and let you live yours. You dated Nico for a while, he was stable and here and a presence. I dated Jay, who was okay with me flying in and out on her. Then we were both single and I asked again. And you said that Tobin was starting college and you needed to be there for her, and that me being away wasn't good for her. I accepted that and I was happy to be your friend. And I always will be. But one day soon, you need to figure out what your feeling for me and what you want for you. Because Tobin is living her life and she is okay! She will always need you, but you don’t need to stop living your life because of her. You can't hide behind her.”

Perry just sat in the seat and stared at her hands. She didn’t respond for a few minutes and Harry was okay with that. She had thrown a lot at her.

Perry cleared her throat. “I need to ask you for a favour.”

“Anything.”

“I need some time. Just, I need to sort my head out.”

“Okay. Just as long as you promise me that you won’t go hiding from me.” Harry responded.

Perry nodded her acceptance. Harry just put her hand on Perry’s thigh. “You’ll figure it out. Even if it is to say that you just want to be friends. I won’t abandon you. I promise.”

Perry nodded again before she pulled out of the carpark. The pair didn’t speak on their way back to Perry’s house.

There had been a lot said already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that went a direction I did not expect. Let me know what you think! And if you have questions
> 
> I promise I will try and answer all the comments! I am just getting to the last chapters now to see If I have to answer anything! I love the comments and hearing your thoughts!


	20. Pop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> US Soccer Camp - Chapel Hill, North Carolina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this and it went on a rollercoaster ride I did not expect, a 9500 word rollercoaster ride, but I am happy with it - Let me know what you think!

“Tobin, breathe honey.” Stacy said quietly as they sat in Dallas airport. She was flying with the teen to her camp while Christen and Cody drove cross-country in her new car to get back to UNC. “You can’t do anything about the delays. Just try and settle love.”

The teen was twisting her new Rubik’s cube in her hands, stressed and tense. “I hate being late. If I am late I get in trouble or I miss something that I need to know and then I am behind and everyone is mad at me and why did the flight have to be cancelled and why are we here an-”

Stacy knelt in front of the teen and put her hands on Tobin’s knees. “Tobin. Take a breath with me. No one will care you get there late. They will just be happy to see you.”

Tobin nodded and tried to even her breathing out as she kept twisting the cube. Stacy smiled at her and kept talking to keep her calm. “Who is your roommate this time?”

“Someone called Rebecca. I haven’t met her before. Do you think she will be mad?”

“No. I think she will be very happy you get there safely.” Stacy said quietly. Before she could continue there was a call over the speakers.

_American Airline flight 283 to Raleigh boarding now_

“Up you get Tobin. Time to go home.” Stacy said with a smile. “Your sister will meet us there and drive you to camp.”

Tobin nodded and stood on shaky legs before she followed the Press Matriarch to her gate. It was 8pm already and it had been an early start for the pair before being jerked around the country. Anyone would be stressed and tired and Stacy thought Tobin was doing very well managing it.

Tobin just wanted to go to bed.

* * *

“How is it that camp is in North Carolina and Kid Wonder isn’t here on time?” Carli asked the group. They were in a team meeting with the coaching staff and she was the only one who wasn’t there. They were going through the schedule for the three-week camp and it was jam packed, with a friendly against Canada scheduled for the end.

“Her flight was delayed and then cancelled. They had to route her through Dallas, and she should be here by midnight.” Dawn said quietly. She was not one to be reckoned with. “You can talk to her tomorrow at breakfast.” Tobin had seen a few of them at the NCAA final, but the majority of the group hadn’t seen her since the November camp. While the group generally didn’t keep track of their teammates every move, Tobin was different. They wanted to protect her, and make sure she was okay. She was their genius.

The group accepted Dawns statement and then went to find their rooms. They were in a hotel near the UNC campus and would train and play at the college. They had been warned not to act like they were back in college, much to some of the players disappointment.

* * *

Tobin, Stacy and Perry walked into the hotel at almost 1am. Tobin was dead on her feet but powering through.

Dawn was waiting for them in the lobby and if it had been any other player she would have made some joke about looking like shit. Tobin probably wouldn’t realise it was joke when she was awake, so making it while she was asleep would definitely go badly. “Hello ladies.”

The two adults smiled and said hello, but Tobin just yawned and gave a sleepy wave. Dawn chuckled and handed her a room key. “Room 528. The squad is scattered throughout the hotel and I think there is only another 4 players on your floor. You have breakfast at 8 with the team and then an appointment with Michaela and myself at 9. I have to look at your nose as well as everything else. The first training session is at 11. Your new team gear is already in your room and I have a feeling you got a new number this time.”

Tobin just nodded and Dawn smiled. “Get out of here. I made sure all the instructions were with your roommate and she will wake you up in the morning if you need.”

Tobin turned and hugged Stacy and Perry tightly to say goodbye. The pair just hugged her back with a smile. “We are close by if you need us kid.” Perry said quietly.

“I’m proud of you Tobin. Go get some sleep.” Stacy said.

Tobin nodded into both of their shoulders. “Night Mums.” She mumbled before she pulled back and grabbed her wheelie bag and backpack. She stumbled over to the elevator and they watched as she quietly disappeared behind the doors.

The pair looked at each other. “Mums?” Stacy asked.

Perry shrugged. “She calls me that when she is knackered or very distracted, when her brain loses its filter. I guess she thinks of you like that too.”

“I’m honoured.”

Perry smiled at her. “She will start being a cheeky shit with you too.”

Stacy shrugged. “As long as she is happy.”

* * *

Tobin stumbled down the fifth floor hallway, looking for room 28. It was at the far end and she sighed in relief when door opened with ease. She was surprised to see the light was on and her roommate was reading a book. It was very late.

She looked up and smiled. “You must be Tobin!” She jumped up and grabbed Tobin’s wheelie bag and brought it into the room.

“Rebecca?” Tobin asked.

The young woman made a face. “Please call me Becky. Only my parents call me Rebecca and only when I am in trouble.”

Tobin smiled at that. “You look like a Becky.”

She grinned. “And you’re cheeky and exhausted. We can talk in the morning. I’ve got an alarm set for 6.30.” The two made quick work of getting Tobin’s stuff in the room and sorted before they climbed into their beds.

As much as Tobin wanted to immediately fall asleep, she had to say something to her new roommate. “Thanks for waiting up for me.”

Tobin heard a chuckle from the other bed. “You’re welcome Tobin.”

* * *

Stacy and Perry made it back to the architects house just after 1.10am. “Do you want a cup of tea?”

“I’d love one. Tobin’s bouncing has me a bit wound up.” Stacy admitted.

Perry smiled understandingly. “How was it?”

“Manageable. I only had to glare at one person on the plane who was complaining about her fidgeting. And noise cancelling headphones are amazing.”

“I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to fly with her. She has flown alone before, but if she had done so today, she’d probably would not have coped. That you were there was a lucky miracle.” Perry waited for the kettle to boil and leant against the counter.

Stacy waved her off. “I was happy to. I’d prefer that and enjoy a few days to relax here while Christen and Cody drive cross country. Chris drives like a Grandma and Cody sings to everything. Helping Tobin out was not a hard decision to make.”

“Still, I appreciate it and I know Tobin does as well.” Before Perry could continue, the kettle whistled loudly. “Shit. Please don’t wake up.” She whispered before quickly pulling the kettle off the stove and poured hot water into the cups. She handed it over to Stacy and then sat down, but before she said anything her bedroom door opened, and a sleepy Harry walked out.

“Perry?” The reporter walked across and saw the older Press sitting there as well. “Stacy hi! How was the trip?”

“Long, but we are here now. How are you?” Stacy asked politely, but gave Perry a look which had her blushing.

“Good. I have a week before I have to go to LA for work so I’m enjoying my time here.” Harry yawned widely. “I’ll see you both in the morning. I just wondered what the noise was.” The reporter hugged the pair quickly before she went back to bed.

Stacy didn’t say anything and Perry felt weird. They just sipped their tea and Stacy waited her out. She did it with Tyler all the time.

“It isn’t what you think.” Perry blurted out.

“I didn’t say anything.” Stacy said calmly. “But I am here if you want to talk.”

Perry sighed. She was tired and she was confused. Stacy was a steady presence and she could look to her for advice. When Tobin had called them both Mums earlier, Perry felt it in her heart. She could see Stacy being that person for her, her Mum. Julie was great, but she was in a different category of hero and lifesaver. Stacy, she could be Mum.

“Do we look like a couple?” Perry asked after a few minutes.

Stacy smiled. “Honestly? Yes.”

Perry just sipped her tea. “We aren’t.”

“Do you want to be?” Stacy asked.

“I can’t.”

“That isn’t what I asked.” Stacy replied softly.

Perry looked at Stacy, pained. “But it’s selfish.”

“No honey. It isn’t.”

“But Tobin-“

Stacy put her hand on Perry’s. “Is almost 18, with a year left of college and a girlfriend who thinks the world of her. You can’t hide behind her.”

Perry sat back and sighed. Stacy looked at her with a small smile. “Your work is here in North Carolina. Is that only because of Tobin?” She was changing the subject slightly but she wanted to point something out to Perry.

“It was the first job I got out of college and we lived here.”

“How long have you been with them?”

Perry shrugged. “Six, seven years maybe.”

“Have you looked for other jobs or promotions in the rest of the US?”

“No. Tobin needed me here.” Perry said.

“And what will you do when Tobin gets drafted to a team in the WPS? Cause she won’t be playing in North Carolina.”

Perry paused. She opened her mouth to answer but she didn’t have one. Stacy powered on. “Do you like your job? Or do you like being close to Tobin and working?”

Perry looked at Stacy and took a deep breath. “The latter.”

“And have there been other jobs, promotions or transfers that have been offered to you in other places that you declined because of Tobin?”

Perry nodded and looked down.

“Tobin will always need you Perry, but you can’t stop living your life or pass up on better work because of her. Maybe in the past, but Tobin is learning to stand on her own two feet.” Stacy said quietly.

“I’m scared Stacy.” Perry replied. “Tobin has been my everything since the accident. Everything I did, I did for her.”

Stacy put her hand on Perry’s. “I know.”

“I can’t just turn that off.”

“No one is asking you too. You can still be there for Tobin if you are in another part of the country. You can still be there for Tobin if you are in a relationship. You can be there for Tobin and live your life.”

Perry wiped her eyes. “But when that is all you have ever done, it is hard to change.”

Stacy nodded. “I know. But you know what?”

“What?”

Stacy smiled. “That girl in their thinks the world of you and will do everything she can to help you through it. She has seen it all. She knows what she is getting into. She knows you.” Stacy stood and hugged the young woman who buried her head in her chest. “You’ll figure it out Perry. I know you will.”

Perry nodded into Stacy’s chest and she held her tight. Stacy could feel she was shaking. It was a hard conversation to have at any time, let alone in the early hours of the morning. “I’m here if you need me.”

Perry stood and smiled. “Thanks. Let me show you to Tobin’s room.” She was ready for bed.

Stacy just laughed when she saw the room. The chaos and dents in the wall screamed hyperactive teenager, while the powertools and various half built machines looked slightly out of place. “This is so Tobin.”

Perry nodded. “I’ll show you Tobin Land tomorrow. This is nothing.”

* * *

Perry stood outside of her bedroom after cleaning up. She took a deep breath before she entered the room. She got into her side of the bed quietly, smiling automatically when Harry rolled over to cuddle up to her.

The architect stared up at the ceiling, thinking deeply about the conversations she had had in the last two weeks. The woman asleep in her arms was amazing and she truly cared deeply for her, loved her even, which is why she was hesitant to take that final step. Harry deserved someone who was fully there for her, fully present and not distracted by anything.

Perry sighed and closed her eyes. She needed sleep and a clear head.

* * *

Tobin and Becky walked into breakfast together, laughing. The defender was telling Tobin a story about growing up in St Louis and the teen found it hilarious. Becky came across as very calm and steady, but she had a funny streak. It settled the teen.

“Tob – WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NOSE?!” A-Rod exclaimed. That got the attention of the whole group, and they turned to see that Tobin had a bruised nose covered with a bandage.

“I’m fine.” Tobin mumbled as her fellow new kid came across and checked it over. Lauren wasn’t far behind and before she knew half the team was surrounding her. She took a step back and Becky stood in front of her.

“She is fine. Back off.” The defender said with a look that said she expected better. Tobin took the chance to disappear and find a seat in the corner. Tobin refused to meet anyone’s eye and started jiggling her leg. She ignored the breakfast buffet and just fiddled with her fingers, regretting that she left her cube in her room.

HAO got up from her chair and went and knelt in front of the midfielder. “Do you want me to hit them? Cause I can. You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to.”

Tobin spoke quietly to the older player. “I just want my cube.”

HAO nodded, unsure what that meant but happy to go along with it. “Where is it?”

“On my bedside table in my room. Why?”

“I’ll grab it for you if you’d like?”

Tobin looked at HAO in disbelief. “Really?”

“I already ate. And the kids are being crazy. I am happy for a break.” HAO said with a small smile. “I never did enough to help you at UNC in that first year. I tried but it wasn’t good enough. I’ve got your back T. I want you to know that.”

“Thanks HAO.” Tobin mumbled.

“Give me your key and I’ll get your cube. You get breakfast.”

Tobin dug through her pocket and handed the key to HAO. The smaller girl smiled before walked away. Unseen by Tobin, she smacked A-Rod and Cheney on the back of their heads. “Leave her be!” She hissed. 

Ali rolled her eyes and walked across to where Tobin was now standing at the buffet. “Hey kiddo.”

Tobin jumped and then beamed when she saw who it was. “HI!” She hugged her close.

Ali smiled into her shoulder. “How are you sweetie?”

“Tired. Yesterday was so long.”

“I heard you had a long trip. Today should be better though!” Ali was an optimist.

Tobin pulled back and made a face. “I have to see Dawn and Michaela after breakfast.”

Ali bit back a laugh. Tobin hated those appointments. “Do you want me to come with you?” Tobin pouted and nodded, which made Ali giggle. “Alright. Let’s get breakfast and then we will find her. You can give me all the goss about your holiday.”

Tobin groaned and the pair spoke as they got their breakfast. By the time they returned to their seats, HAO came back with the Rubik’s Cube. She quietly handed it to Tobin without a fuss and then sat down a few seats away.

The team slowly became aware of a clicking at the table. It was rhythmic and it was soothing. No one found it annoying, after a while it just faded into the background.

* * *

Dawn and Michaela were looking at Tobin’s file as she walked into the room with Ali.

Michaela smiled at her. “Okay Tobin. We are going to check on that nose first, then your shoulder, elbow and your back last. Sound alright?”

Tobin nodded and sat on the bed. Michaela put her gloves on and gently removed the band-aids. She gently prodded the nose and asked Tobin questions about it, but it all looked good. She smiled once she finished. “Looks good to me. And no risk about it happening again this camp I hope?” She asked slyly.

Tobin blushed. “No doc.”

Ali was confused but didn’t say a word. She was the silent presence that Tobin needed.

“Stand up Tobin. We have some tests to do.” Dawn said quietly. She knew how hard this was for Tobin and while it was necessary, she didn’t want to make the process harder than it already was. Dawn had to lock down her emotions every time she looked at the teens body, wanting to go out and hurt the person who had inflicted that pain onto her. Dawn was going to protect that kid as much as she possibly could. If that meant locking her emotions down and methodically working through her assessment with a cold demeanour, she did so.

Ali was stunned at how open Tobin was with the pair during their assessment. She didn’t lie, or ignore any questions. She told it straight up. Tobin knew it was important that they get it right.

Tobin got through the assessment with limited awkwardness and was happy to be released, but pouted when Dawn stopped her at the door. The trainer just rolled her eyes at the teen. “Don’t push it Tobin. If there are any issues, come to me. Whatever the time of day, I’m always happy to see you.”

Tobin nodded and smiled at Dawn before she walked out the door with Ali. She couldn’t wait to get back to training and play again. She loved the game and felt free when she played. It was one of those places she was happy.

* * *

The first week of camp went quickly. Tobin spent all of her free time with her head either in a textbook studying, fiddling with her rubik’s cube or texting. The entire team was curious about who had her attention and could put that smile on her face. The teenager was positively beaming. A few had an idea about who it was that made her so happy, but they weren’t going to mention it to the greater group. Tobin hadn’t said anything yet and they didn’t want to break her trust.

The team got an insight into who it was after training one afternoon. They noticed the UNC womens team come out to watch them train and they noticed Tobin get very distracted, to the point she tripped over a ball as she tried to do a trick in their water break.

“STOP SHOWING OFF TOBI!” A voice from the sideline called.

Tobin blushed scarlet.

After the session, Tobin jogged across to the group and the team watched on as she greeted her friends. She hugged one of them tight and pulled back beaming. The group could tell Tobin was trying to get her to jump the fence and join her, but she was declining. Tobin then pouted and the group laughed as the girl just rolled her eyes and pushed Tobin gently. The teen laughed before she jogged away towards the team.

Hope decided to give her an out. “You okay there Tobi?”

Tobin beamed and nodded. “I am going out to dinner tonight. Chris is picking me up!”

“Well you better get a shower first then.”

Tobin nodded and shot off towards the changerooms, leaving the team confused. “What is happening?” Christie Rampone asked.

A few of the girls grinned. “Be in the lobby tonight. I am sure it will be adorable.”

* * *

Tobin was bouncing and pacing in the lobby, waiting for Christen. The girls were coming down in twos and threes, watching their resident genius bounce and be nervously cute. They were going out for dinner in small groups as well, but were excited to see what happened to have Tobin so happy.

The door to the hotel opened and the group watched as young woman with straight black hair and glasses walked in with a smile. Tobin suddenly took off and jumped onto the woman who did very well to catch her. Tobin was beaming as she was spun around and then set down onto the floor. She spoke quietly and the other woman nodded and took her hand, looking determined. Tobin walked across to the group that she knew was waiting for her.

“Um hi.” Tobin started before she blushed.

“Take your time Tobin.” Ali said from the back of the group.

Tobin nodded and then took a breath. She gently tugged Christen forward by their joined hands and she smiled at the group. “Thi-this is Christen Press. My g-girlfriend.” Tobin said with a slight smile.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Christen said with a smile. “Tobin has told me amazing things.”

The group who had met her before greeted her kindly, while the others took a moment to react. Some were stunned, some were beaming and happy, while others were worried about her. They didn’t say anything, but they would keep an eye on it.

Ali, A-Rod, Lauren and HAO all hugged Christen in greeting, while Hope nodded at her from afar. She wasn’t sold on her just yet. Others, like Becky and Pinoe, introduced themselves and did what they could to make Tobin blush.

The couple left after a few minutes and the team watched as Tobin skipped up to the door and opened it for Christen, bowing to her as she walked through. Christen just laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

Once they left, the group was quiet for a spell until Pinoe broke the silence. “They are so fucking adorable.”

The team broke out of their reverie at that and then went their separate ways. But now they all knew that their little genius had a girlfriend and was ecstatic about it. They would keep an eye on her to make sure she was okay, but there would be an unspoken rule to not interfere. Tobin needed to stand on her own two feet, and they would help her if asked, but not get to involved.

However, from the looks of it, they were a happy pair and would be okay.

* * *

Tobin expected to get teased when she returned from her date, but the girls let her be. They asked her about their relationship and how they got together, but they were overwhelmingly positive and supportive. She was surprised, but she assumed it meant that they were okay with it. Not that she needed their permission, but it was good to have their support. It allowed Tobin to brag and talk about how awesome Christen was.

* * *

They had a friendly match against Canada at the end of the camp. It was going to be held at the UNC fields and Tobin was happy it was at a venue she knew like the back of her hand. The entire team was going to be there to support her and the school had happily told all students that one of their own was playing for the national team.

The teenager had her headphones on and her head down when she stepped off the bus. She made her way into the changerooms and found her locker for the night. It had all her UNC numbering on it, but also her USWNT numbering as well. It was her space, and the team respected that. Number 98 and Number 17. That was her.

Warm up was stressful and Tobin wasn’t sure why she was out of it. The group noticed it and flagged Pia. The coach pulled her away for a quick chat.

“What is it kiddo? You’re all over the place.”

Tobin wasn’t sure and told her that. “Maybe cause everyone is here?” She asked. It would be one of her first starts and the first time someone other than Perry or Harry was in the stands cheering for her.

“You know they just want you to play your best. That is all I want as well.”

Tobin nodded and stood fiddling with her fingers. Pia suddenly had a brain wave and sent Tobin back into the lines before she called Dawn across.

“Go to Tobin’s locker and get me that blasted cube. It calms her and she needs to settle.”

Dawn jogged off and came back a few minutes later looking happy. When they had a quick water break, she handed it to the teen before walking back to Pia. The pair watched as Tobin started twisting it her hands, giving her something to focus on instead of her nerves or the games. Her shoulders relaxed. Dawn just shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe that worked.”

“Anson did call her quirky.” Pia responded. “Grab it off her when she is actually doing drills. Make sure she knows you’ve got it if she needs it.”

Dawn nodded. “Did you ever think when you brought her in that we would be holding puzzles on the sideline?”

Pia huffed out a laugh. “No. All I knew was that regardless of what can be perceived as a weakness in a person, their strengths shine through if you give them the space to be themselves. Tobin makes us better as a group. She is a brilliant footballer and when she is allowed to show that, everything else doesn’t matter. We have her back. She knows that.”

* * *

The starting line-up was Hope in goals, with Ali, Becky, Christie and Mittsy in the backline. The midfield was HAO, Carli, Shannon and Tobin while A-Rod and Cheney were up front. It was a midday kickoff and the weather was perfect. Cold, but clear and no wind in sight.

Tobin was flying in the first half. Her balls were perfect, and she was skinning everybody. She set A-Rod up for the opener and the whole stadium erupted. The teen was buzzing, and she couldn’t stay still. The team got another two goals before the break and went into the sheds smiling. As Tobin walked off, Dawn handed her cube to her in the tunnel, and she broke out in that smile that made the room light up.

The second half was getting dirty. The US were up 3-0 and the Canadians felt outclassed. Fouls were getting dirtier and later and Tobin was a prime target. She was so tricky on the ball, some of the Canadians felt embarrassed when she skipped past them. They knew she was a young kid and noticed that when she went down, the team reacted. BY attacking her, they rattled the US.

Tobin had to get treatment in the 70th minute. She was collected late and hurt her ankle. Dawn looked her over and cleared her to continue, but it would hurt. Above them, the group was yelling at the Canadians, which just re-enforced their belief that targeting Tobin would put them off their game.

Not long after that, Mittsy turned awkwardly and crumbled. It looked as though she had done her knee and she was subbed out quickly and taken into the sheds for treatment.

Tobin scored in the 89th minute. Her blazing run took her to the edge of the box and her left footed shot was buried in the top right corner. It was her first goal for the US and the team celebrated loudly before they saw Tobin was down. The only ones who had seen the Canadian defender come flying in late and knock her to the floor, were the backline and Hope.

Tobin had crumbled. Amy and Lauren were the first ones to her side, followed quickly by Ali. Ali had her hands on the teenager’s face and kept her eyes on her. Amy and Lauren were doing everything they could to keep her still and her body calm. Ali kept talking to her as Dawn and Michaela got there. The three players moved back a little bit to give them space, but stayed close and blocked the view of everyone else. They ignored the commotion happening around them.

“Tobin. Talk to me. Did you hear anything?” Michaela asked with soft voice.

“I think it popped.” Tobin said with a wince. “I landed on the point of my shoulder.”

“Okay. Stay still for me please. Does anything else hurt?” She asked.

“No.” Tobin said with a grimace.

“We need to do a few tests and the we will go from there, okay kiddo?” Dawn said from her place on Tobin’s right. Dawn talked through exactly what she would do and waited for Tobin to consent before she moved ahead.

Near the group who was gathered on the floor was most of the US and Canadian players who were on the field. The ref had sent the Canadian player off after conferring with the assistant referee who had seen the exchange, but not before half of the US team had tried to go after her. There was a bit of a scrum in the middle of the pitch and everyone on the bench was on their feet.

Hope was pulled out quickly by Shannon and Becky, knowing she could escalate the situation. Christie was imploring with the referee to get a better handle on the game and the coaches were arguing on the sideline as well. They didn’t expect the normally calm HAO to lose it and no one was watching her except Carli.

They heard the Canadian say something insulting about Tobin as she left the pitch and HAO blew up. HAO went running after the player and shoved her in the back, making good on her word of looking out for Tobin. Carli grabbed her after the first shove, but they were close enough to the benches that the subs were now breaking ranks and joining in, while the players on the pitch came across as well. Eventually most of the team was on the sideline and only a few were still on the field with Tobin or watching the events in disbelief.

It took longer than it needed to but eventually the players were pulled apart. HAO had already been subbed out but was shown a red card and multiple players on both sides received yellows. By the time they had settled, Michaela and Dawn had assessed Tobin’s injury and were helping her sit up. They had tucked her arm into her jersey like a sling and were still talking to her. Tobin looked like she was in great pain.

Tobin eventually made her way to her feet and the stadium clapped her off and the US players jogged across to see her. They saw she was cringing in pain and knew her shoulder was already bad.

“That goal was awesome Tobin.” Becky said with a grin.

Tobin lit up. “Do you think Chris saw?”

Becky nodded. “Absolutely. You scored for her huh?”

Tobin blushed. “Maybe.”

“I’ll see if I can get her into the changerooms okay?”

Tobin nodded. “Thanks Beck.”

* * *

There was an additional 8 minutes of extra time after all the theatrics and drama, but no other blow-ups occurred. They shook hands very quickly and then the Canadian team was booed off the pitch. The US went around the grounds and saw their friends and family that had travelled, but most had told them to meet back at the hotel.

They wanted to check on Tobin.

The last one into the tunnel was Pinoe who had seen her sister, but once she got to the locker room she found the whole team waiting outside the door. “What’s going on?”

Christie responded. “They won’t let us in yet.”

“Why?”

Mittsy, who was standing out with the group on crutches explained. “They are trying to get her into the treatment room, but she freaked out in the enclosed space. She said something about consent, and they stepped back. They are waiting for her sister. I was happy to get out of there to be honest. She looked like she was in a different world.”

At that moment, two women came into the tunnel looking concerned. Christie knocked on the door and it opened a crack. Dawn poked her head out and saw who it was, immediately letting them in.

The team stood outside awkwardly, not sure what to do. All they could do was wait.

* * *

Perry and Harry entered the room and saw Tobin lying on the physio bed in the middle of the room with her hand covering her eyes. Perry looked to Dawn for an explanation.

“We haven’t been able to asses her yet. We tried to take her into the treatment for privacy but she just lost it. She has been in their before yes?” Dawn asked.

Perry nodded. “Yes, but not for anything that happened in a game. Only strapping and stuff.”

“Does she have an issue with small spaces?”

“Depends on how many people you needed in there.” Harry said quietly. “What do you need?”

“We need to get her shirt off and look at that shoulder. If not, I am putting her in an ambulance to the hospital now rather than driving her there later.” Michaela said seriously.

Perry swore before she looked at Harry. “Good cop, happy cop?”

Harry nodded and the pair walked across to the teen. They went on either side of her and spoke quietly to her. After a few minutes, the teen dropped her hands and looked at the pair. “Who comes in?”

“Us and Dawn and Michaela. That’s it.” Perry assured her. “We need to look at it to make sure it’s okay.”

Tobin nodded and sat up. With Perry and Harry’s help, she moved slowly into the treatment room. Perry waved the two female medical staffers in and shut the door behind them. One of the others went and brought the team in. “I’d keep a bit quieter than normal after a win. She is still shaky.”

* * *

Michaela smiled at the teen who was sitting in just her shorts and a sports bra. They had cut her shirt and compression shirt off, as well as stripped off the tape. “I want a scan on it because I think there is a dislocation similar to late last year. I can feel some bumps and your shoulder isn’t holding itself up. I hope it was just a really big hit, but I am not confident.”

Tobin nodded and slowly shifted her arm around, wincing. She knew moving her leg wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. “What happens now?”

Michaela’s smile dropped. “You need to ice it. I have the ice and the cling wrap here, then you should sit with it on for 20 minutes. You need to do it out there -”

“No. They’ll see!” Tobin exclaimed. “I’d rather go the hospital!”

“Because we need to see Mittsy in here.” Michaela finished. “It will be wrapped up and no one will be able to see much.”

Harry crouched in front of the teen. “Tobin. They would have seen eventually. Even a little bit. You can’t move your arm to put a shirt on, and then you would just have to take it off again. I know it will hurt your heart to do this, but for your body you might need to. You can just sit there and they won’t say anything. I’ll make sure of it.”

“They already see me as the kid to protect.”

Harry just smiled. “I think they always will. Even when your 35 and old.”

Perry came and looked her sister in the eye. “You can do this Tobin.”

Tobin wiped her eyes and nodded, before she moved to allow them to put a sling and then the ice on her. Dawn placed it while Michaela wrapped it up. Tobin then stood and walked out of the room. Harry cringed when she saw that while Tobin’s shoulder was mostly covered, her back scars were on display.

* * *

The team watched as Tobin kept her head down and walked past them slowly. They didn’t say a word, but they were all drawn to the scars on her back. She sat in her spot in the corner and put her head down. Perry and Harry left the room quickly, going to tell the rest of their group what was happening.

Most of the team had showered and were on the bus by the time Tobin was allowed to take the ice off and get herself sorted. Ali helped her into her shirt and do her shoes up, with the defender not making a big deal out of anything. The team had given her permission to go to the hospital with her sister and Tobin was glad she didn’t have to get on the bus with the group. She would rather pout in the back of her car in private. She did have to return to the hotel to sleep and Dawn and Michaela would be at the hospital with Mittsy, but she needed some space.

Tobin walked out of the changeroom in her sling and feeling sorry for herself until she caught sight of big curls that she loved. She smiled inadvertently and Christen came to hug her. “Are you okay?”

Tobin nodded. “I’m better now.”

“Dawn gave me this.” Christen handed Tobin her cube. “She said it might make you smile.”

“You make me smile.” Tobin immediately responded. “But this is pretty good to.”

Christen chuckled. “Come on. Dr Andersen is waiting at the hospital. You have jumped the MRI cue apparently. We can be out of there in a couple hours.”

Tobin sighed but followed her girlfriend to the carpark. The team bus was filling up, but Tobin walked across and jumped into the back of her sisters car, with Christen following behind. Harry and Perry were already in the front seat and they drove off quickly.

* * *

“Grade 3 AC joint separation.” Dr Andersen said with a sigh. “Ice, rest, sling. Two to three weeks of that, and then rehab and your strengthening program. Essentially exactly what you have been doing with UNC and Michaela and Dawn at US Soccer. If the pain doesn’t subside in the next couple of months, then we need to look at surgery. This is your second one in a few months Tobin. We need to take care of it.”

Tobin nodded and Dr Andersen continued. “I know you don’t like the idea of surgery Tobin, but I need you to understand, it will happen at some stage. I think it needs to happen soon. You need a reconstruction in the future, this dislocation is just giving me another thing to make a note of fixing. You need to be careful.”

“It isn’t my fault she pushed me over.” Tobin grumbled.

Perry put her hand on Tobin’s bouncing knee. “No one is saying it is.”

“I am not having surgery now.” Tobin said with a glare out the window. “I am not doing it.”

Dr Andersen looked at Perry sadly before he spoke again. “Tobin. I am going to give you my medical opinion on this. And I need you to listen to me carefully.” He waited until Tobin nodded before continuing. “I have given you the non-surgical option, which is what we did last time with the skateboarding incident. And obviously, while that helped, it has happened again and it is worse this time. While we can go the non-operative route, the probability of it happening again is high, as well as the probability of it not healing, which means surgery is just delayed by three months. My recommendation is that we do the surgery sooner, rather than later, and I fix your shoulder. Before I go in, I can also assess and check on your clavicle, scapula, humerus, thorax, spine and see if there is anything else that we can do while you are under. We would get everything done once and hopefully ensure it is as stable as we can possibly get it. Rehab could be anywhere from 6-12 months depending on what we would have to do. But in my medical opinion, I believe surgery is the best option for you.”

Tobin refused to look at the doctor or her sister. Perry squeezed Tobin’s knee in a show of support. “Will this mean she won’t have to have surgery in the future?”

Dr Andersen shook his head. “Can you guarantee that you won’t dislocate your shoulder, tear and ACL or break an ankle? This should improve Tobin’s shoulder and hopefully get it back to as close to 100% as possible, but shit happens that could require surgery. It is just the way it is.”

“Will it make my arm straighten? Or be able to lift my arm all the way above my head?” Tobin asked quietly.

“I have to look and see if I can do anything with your humerus and whether the previous surgeon had given me enough to work with. It was shattered quite badly, so I wouldn’t be too hopeful. But lifting your arm all the way up? If everything goes well, yes.”

Tobin looked at her sister. “What do you think?”

“I think that you are 17 and have your whole life ahead of you, and that this surgery could really help that life be as amazing as you deserve.” Perry said quietly. “What is it that worries you?”

“I want to play soccer. I want to build stuff. I want to learn to drive! This stops that.” Tobin said.

“It may delay it a bit, but you can still do all that. And, it will hopefully make doing all those tasks easier.” Perry countered.

Tobin nodded. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course.” Dr Andersen responded. “I’ll put all the information together for you, the scans reports, whatever I have, and the plan I hope to follow. Do your research, talk to US Soccer and your family. I’ll talk to your team doc Michaela and we will work it out.”

The sisters left the room and saw that Christen and Harry were waiting for them in the waiting room. Perry smiled at them. “I think we should go home.”

Tobin looked at her sister confused. “I thought I had to go back to the hotel?”

“I’ll call them. This is more important.”

* * *

Back at Tobin and Perry’s house was Allie, Ash, Cody, Stacy and Julie. Perry explained that she hadn’t been able to spring any of her teammates from the hotel, but that she thought Tobin needed her people around her, even if it was just for a short while.

Ash came and hugged her tight. The goalkeeper had gone through ACL repairs before and gave Tobin her honest take on the choices she had laid out for her. “I’d have the surgery, because at school you have help and if everything goes well, you won’t miss any of your senior season and go into the draft fit. It is almost the best time to have it.”

Allie, who stated ‘that being called Harry around the original Harry just confused everyone, so call her Allie’ whispered in the teens ear. Whatever she said made her blush like a tomato and refuse to look at Christen, so they assumed it was something dirty.

Cody just dragged her into Tobin land and asked her to show him how her setup worked. It was meant to make her smile and them bond over Tobin building and fixing things, but Tobin focused on the gaming consoles and how she wouldn’t be able to hold a controller easily.

Stacy and Julie just sat her on the couch in between them, and calmed them down after Cody had unintentionally upset her. It worked well, and she fell asleep after the stress of the day and playing a full match for the National Team.

The group was quiet to ensure they didn’t wake Tobin up, and Harry and Perry escaped out the front to talk about it. While it was Tobin’s decision, they wanted to ensure they knew where they stood on the matter before Harry flew back to Los Angeles. They both agreed she needed the surgery, but didn’t want it to look as though they were ganging up on her.

There was a lull in conversation when Perry sighed. “How are you going?”

Harry just huffed. “I don’t know.”

Perry chuckled. “Not with this. I meant with work. The new job can’t be too happy you flew out for 48 hours two weeks after arriving.”

“They can suck it. Tobin needed me here for support in that game. When she is back on her feet and has made a decision, I will feel okay about having to leave her in the morning. I hate leaving her.”

“How do you?” Perry asked. “Leave her I mean.”

Harry wiped her eyes. “I hate it, but when I was younger and went to college, I knew she had you. When I was the war correspondent, she was safe with you. Now, she has Christen, Ash, Allie, Ali, Hope, Amy, Lauren, hell all of the soccer world will protect her, as well as you. I know she isn’t alone, and it makes it easier to leave her. Even if all I want to do is wrap her in bubble wrap and lock her in the house.”

“I’ve never been able to do it.” Perry said.

“I know, but it is different for you. She is your daughter. She isn’t even 18 yet.” Harry sighed. “I know I said you can’t keep living your life for Tobin and hiding behind her, and I still stand by that statement. But until, what, maybe 6 months ago, she didn’t really have anyone besides you and you almost had to do that. Now she has a village. Wherever she gets drafted, someone in that team will help her out. Christen would follow her to the ends of the earth. US Soccer will keep an eye on her and when she is in camp, she will be looked after.”

Perry nodded. “I am starting to realise that.” Perry twisted her fingers around, nervous. “I, uh, I started looking for a new job. My one hasn’t got a lot of change and potential for promotion and now Tobin isn’t going to be here in 12 months, I think it is about time I look for one.”

Harry looked at her, not daring to let herself hope. “Oh yeah? Anywhere in particular?”

Perry nodded. “There are some big firms with openings in LA. I am still looking, but I think that would be a good place to start.”

Harry smiled a bit. “I’m in LA you know.”

“I know.” Perry took a deep breath. “It’s been almost a month since we spoke and I have barely thought about anything else. And honestly, a lot of it still makes me feel guilty about not putting Tobin first. My therapist has been working on that with me for years.” Perry added the last point almost as an after thought before she pulled herself together. “But I know that we have this relationship, connection, friendship, whatever you would call it, that has this line we dance around. And we push it and push it and I always step back from crossing it. But I think that I might be ready to step over it.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked, eyes bright and shining.

Perry nodded. “Yeah. I can’t promise how it will be, but I am going to try. That is, if you still want to?”

Harry stepped forward and wrapped her up in a hug. “I would wait forever, but I am glad I didn’t have to.” Harry said before she pulled her head back. She was looking Perry in the eye and they both got very serious. “If we try this and it doesn’t work, you won’t lose me. I will be here for you. Always.”

“It will work. It has to. Because I have used every excuse I could think of to talk myself out of this since in the last few years for this to not happen. But I want you. And Tobin will always be my priority, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my own life.” Perry said.

Harry nodded. “Okay. We try this. We go slow, we talk and we figure it out. But before we do anything, there is something we have to do.”

“What?” Perry asked.

Harry pulled her in and kissed her, and Perry melted into it. It wasn’t as though fireworks were going off, but it felt as though she was home.

They kissed for about twenty seconds before Perry pulled back for air. “Is that what we had to do?” She asked.

Harry chuckled. “No. I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

“So what do we have to do?”

“Tell your teenage daughter we are dating.” Harry said quietly.

Perry just smiled at her. “Our teenage daughter. All her bad habits come from you.”

Harry laughed and Perry joined her before they embraced again. Happy and both feeling quite settled and content.

* * *

Tobin had woken from her nap and went to grab a glass of water. Out of the kitchen window, she saw her sister and Harry. She smiled automatically because the pair of them made her happy, but her eyes went wide and she was stunned not ten seconds later.

Christen came to check on her when she didn't return. “Babe?”

Tobin spun around and put her good hand across her eyes. “My eyes! I’m blind! Help me!”

“What are you talking about you goofball?” Christen asked before she looked out the window. “Awww. They are so cute!”

“Cute?!” Tobin exclaimed with her hand still over her eyes. “They are kissing and that is gross!”

Her outburst got the attention of the rest of the household, and they all came across to see the couple out the front kiss and be very cute together. Cody and Stacy were beaming because Perry had finally acted on what was obviously in her heart. Julie was crying because her daughter had finally kissed the girl she had been in love with for years. Ash jumped up and exclaimed that she told them so, while Allie rolled her eyes at Tobin’s reaction and thought that the pair worked well together.

“Tobin. They are adorable together. You have to see that.” Allie exclaimed.

The teen just shook her head and kept her eyes covered. “That doesn’t matter! That’s Perry and Harry! Seeing them do that is gross!”

“It isn’t like you walked in on them having sex Tobin.” Ash deadpanned.

“LALALALALALALALALALALALALA” Tobin yelled. “THEY DON’T DO THAT! NOPE THEY ONLY HOLD HANDS AND CUDDLE!”

The group was laughing at her reaction, but Allie had to ask the question that was on the tip of her tongue, and on everyones minds considering the reaction. “Tobin, how long have they been together?”

The teen dropped her hand from her eyes and looked at Allie like she was crazy. “Ages! Maybe the whole time I have been at college!”

“Did they tell you that?” Ash asked.

“Well no.” Tobin said. “But they are all cute and cuddly and then Perry was sad whenever Harry had to leave for work, which made me really sad so I always asked when she was leaving so I could be there for when Perry was sad. When Perry and Nico broke up after two years together she barely even cried. When Harry leaves she is mopey for ages.”

“You're saying you think they have been together for two and a half years?” Stacy asked for clarification.

“If I can see it, it must be obvious!” Tobin exclaimed.

The others in the room looked at each other, trying not to laugh. Thankfully they were saved by Perry and Harry coming in, having heard Tobin yelling.

“Is everything okay?” The pair were standing close together.

“Ask Tobin!” Ash blurted out before she giggled.

They turned to the teen and she refused to look at them. “Tobin?”

The teen shook her head and checked her wrist. “It’s time for me to get back to the hotel!” She squeaked.

“Tobin, you aren’t even wearing a watch.” Harry said amused.

“Oh my god.” Stacy said quietly. “She saw you kissing! In fact, we all did.”

“Can I just say it’s about time too!” Julie exclaimed. The pair were slightly mortified.

“NO! It isn’t about time! They don’t do that!” Tobin exclaimed. “They are my parents and they hold hands and cuddle and that is it!”

Christen looked at the gobsmacked couple and smiled. She thought the entire situation was hilarious. “She is also under the impression you have been together since she started college.”

Harry and Perry very quickly told Tobin that no, they had not been together for more than 20 minutes and they were very sorry if they had given her the wrong impression.

Tobin was guided to the couch and she sat down. She was utterly stunned.

“Bu-But, you cuddle and hold hands and share the bed and are always sad when you leave each other.” Tobin sounded so unsure of herself.

“I know honey, but we weren’t together.”

“BUT IT WAS OBVIOUS! I even told Ash about you two and she thought you were cute!”

The pair turned to the keeper who smiled tightly. “I am sorry about that conversation we had by the way. If I had known differently, I wouldn’t have been so harsh or blunt.”

“Thanks Ash, but it’s okay. I think we needed to hear it.” Perry replied with a smile.

Harry crouched in front of Tobin who was staring at the floor, dazed. “Kiddo?”

“It was so obvious.” Tobin muttered.

“It was obvious we were attracted to each other and had feelings for each other, but we weren’t together.” Harry said quietly.

“But now you are?”

“Yeah.”

“So you will kiss and stuff?”

Harry nodded. “When we are both in the same place, yeah we will.”

“But you live in LA and Perry lives here.”

“Yes.”

“So is Perry moving to LA?” Tobin asked.

Harry shrugged. “We don’t know yet. What do you think should happen?”

Tobin thought about it for a minute before she smiled. “I go into the draft next year so that means Perry would be here by herself.”

“Yea it does.”

“LA has really good architecture firms and Perry could be with you and have a job she loves!”

Harry smiled. “And what about you? What do we do with you?”

Tobin looked at Harry and smiled. “If Perry is happy in LA with you, I will be fine. I have to go all over the world for soccer so she should be with you in LA. Then you don’t have to leave each other, and I can visit when I have a break!”

Tobin had no idea how much her words settled her sisters worries and nerves. Perry and Harry both hugged her tightly and thanked her, and Tobin had no idea why. She just knew her sister and Harry were finally happy.

When they let her go, she asked the question that was annoying her. “Why weren’t you together before?”

Harry and Perry looked at each other and smiled. “We weren’t ready yet.”

Tobin accepted that but before she said anything, she yawned widely. Harry just laughed, it was barely 7pm. “We need to get you back to the hotel. I think Dawn and Michaela will want to talk to you.”

Tobin pouted but nodded her acceptance. She said goodbye to everyone and then left with the new couple. She was going into her head a little bit, but the new couple just let her be. She would pop out of it when she was ready.

They parked the car and waited until Tobin came back to herself. She looked a bit stunned they were at the hotel. “Oh.”

Perry laughed. “What had you thinking so hard?”

“My shoulder actually.”

“Not us?”

Tobin made a face. “Ew. No.”

Harry giggled. “What is it?”

“I think I should have the surgery.” Tobin said quietly. “I want more information, but if it gets my arm back to almost normal and I can play for my senior year, I want that more than anything.”

“Okay. So we asked Dawn and Michaela and Dr Andersen everything we need to, and then we can make more decisions as we go down the line.” Perry said with a small smile.

Tobin nodded. “I want this fixed. I don’t want another surgery, but I want this fixed more.”

Tobin looked determined and Harry and Perry were happy she was looking at the positives of the surgery rather than the negatives. It would be hard, and they would tell her that, but she would be okay.

She had a village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a dr or medically trained, so if I screwed up the medical stuff about the shoulder and all that I am sorry. I went off google and my own experiences with bad shoulders! 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts!


	21. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has surgery and Christen remembers what made her leave Stanford

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! TW for some heavy themes and mental health issues. Those who read this before posting have said it isnt too in depth, more of an overview which isnt too triggering but just want to put out the warning just in case.
> 
> I have had some amazing people read this for me and they helped so much. thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think

Tobin was due to have the surgery three days after her injury and she was not happy to be stuck in meetings with doctors and nurses and physios all day. She knew she had to be, but it still wasn’t fun. She wanted to be skating or playing soccer or kissing Christen! She hated hospitals and she couldn’t even have Christen with her to make it happier. She had classes to go to. Harry had flown back to LA and now Perry was really mopey. She focused all her energy on her little sister to ignore the hole in her heart.

It wouldn’t be a long surgery, but they wanted her to stay overnight just in case. She would be groggy and sore. Tobin’s other medications could clash, and they wanted to keep an eye on her just in case.

Tobin would have a full reconstruction and cleanout, but there was nothing they could do about her elbow straightening. That would always be an issue. Tobin was disappointed but there was nothing to be done about it. The first doctor had done what she could to repair it when she was a child and now, while it was not able to straighten fully, it did work well and she had very few problems that she couldn’t overcome.

Tobin was being rolled into surgery with a pout, but Christen just kissed it away at the door and promised to be there when she woke up. Tobin beamed and that was the last thing they saw before the doors swung shut.

* * *

“Alright Perry, come with me. We’re getting coffee.” Stacy said after Perry had spent the last couple hours pacing up and down the waiting room. “Or maybe tea.” She said as a quiet afterthought.

Perry shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“It wasn’t exactly a suggestion love.” Stacy said kindly. “Christen will be here and stay with Tobin when she returns. We’re getting out of here.”

Perry sighed. “What if-“

“They will call if they need you for anything.” Stacy said with a smile. “Come on.”

“I’m just going to go to the bathroom first.” Perry sounded defeated but looked relieved. She had sat in the waiting room more times than she could remember and as many times as Harry or Julie had been with her, she had been alone just as often. Stacy Stacy was thinking not only for the girl in surgery, but the sister worried in the waiting room.

Once Perry was in the bathroom, Stacy looked to her daughter. “Will you be okay here by yourself? You’ve been quiet.”

Christen nodded. “I’ll be fine Mum.”

“It’s just-“

“I know.” Christen interrupted. “But I’m okay. Just a bit nostalgic. I haven’t been in a hospital for this long since April. Better get used to it if I want to work in a hospital.” Christen said with a shrug.

Stacy nodded. “If you need anything-“

“I’ll call you. I promise.” Christen said with a smile. “Just look after Perry. Tobin won’t forgive us if she ends up getting smothered in worry and love when she wakes up.”

Stacy chuckled and kissed her daughter on the forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Go look after Perry.”

"I will." Stacy smiled. “I’m so proud of you. You made it through hell."

"I did, but only because I had support. Perry needs that more than I do right now. I'm okay."

Stacy nodded and walked off with Perry when she returned from the bathroom. Christen was okay being alone. She needed the time to think and recentre herself.

* * *

Christen was sitting next to Tobin in the hospital room, holding her hand tightly and fiddling with her fingers. It had been an hour since Perry and Stacy had gone and her Mum had asked her to text when Tobin woke up. The teen was out cold after surgery on her shoulder and Christen was thinking.

The last time she had been in a hospital room like this one, she had been in a psych hold.

It was jarring to think about. She hadn’t stopped thinking about it since Tobin had been wheeled away. She knew she was okay, but she was remembering one of the hardest times of her life. She didn't need her Mum with her, she was okay by herself. She preferred it. It allowed her to be quiet and not be asked a thousand questions about how she was feeling. Not until she was ready.

The medical student didn’t hear the door open and was startled when someone cleared their throat. 

It was Hope.

“Hey.” The goalkeeper said, kind of awkwardly. She was holding a gift bag.

Christen smiled tightly. “Hi.” 

“I got allowed out by Dawn.” Hope explained. “Do you mind if I stay?”

Christen smiled. “Of course.”

Hope moved to the seat next to Christen and sat down quietly. “How is she?”

Christen chuckled. “Out cold. Probably the only time she is still when she is asleep is when she is drugged up on painkillers.”

“Really?” Hope asked, intrigued.

Christen nodded. “I have bruises from random knees and elbows. She thinks I don’t know she moves like that. She thinks she sleeps like a log with me. I wake up before Tobin most days. I can say she tosses less than normal with me, but she still doesn’t stop, but she has no idea.”

Hope chuckled. “She has shared a bed with and Ali and myself at least once and I can say she definitely does not stay still.”

Chris looked at her with a small grin. “Did Ali ever tell you what Tobin did when she stayed with us?” At Hope’s shake of the head, Chris continued. “She gave up her bed before she knew I was her roommate, so Ali was staying with us both. I asked if she wanted to sleep with me or Ali. She said Ali kicked in her sleep and I cuddle, so she bunked with me. I can tell you for certain Ali does not kick in her sleep. But, we got together that week so I’m letting her think she got away with it.”

Hope laughed. “Little shit. I’m kinda proud of her for that.”

The pair sat in a comfortable silence, and Christen went back to remembering Stanford and what led her to such a bad place.

“Christen?” Hope asked.

Chris blinked and looked at the keeper. “Sorry?”

“Are you alright? I’ve been calling you for a couple minutes.” Hope was concerned and Christen finally saw the Hope the Tobin did. The teddy bear, the softy.

Christen nodded. “I’m just remembering some bad times. I’ll be alright.” Christen was surprised at how easy it was for her to say just that.

Maybe she was ready to talk.

Hope nodded but was frowning. “I am here if you want to talk to me. I know I haven’t been the most friendly person to you previously, but if you want to tell me some stuff, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” She was sincere.

Christen was quiet and just looked at the still hand she was holding. Did she trust Hope and talk about it? If it was coming back to her now, she could be in for a rough few days. If she didn’t, she would cope but she would be scattered and distracted like she already was.

“Did Tobin ever say anything about why I moved from Stanford?”

Hope smiled to herself. “No. She didn’t say much about you except to rave about you. She is pretty smitten.”

Christen chuckled. “That sounds like Tobin. Not that she knows much about it.” She tapered off, not talking again for a few minutes. Hope was coming to realise Christen was having her own internal battle, similar to how Tobin would shut down when she got stuck in her head. The goalkeeper knew that while sometimes it was best to let Tobin come to her, other times it was better to prod and get them to talk.

“What happened at Stanford?” Hope asked after a few minutes.

Christen took her time before she started talking.

* * *

_Moving Day_

_Christen stood next to her parents, quiet and reserved. She was nervous and anxious, but that wasn’t uncommon for Christen. She knew how to handle it at home where she had her anchors. Her room, her parents, her schoolwork and soccer. They soothed her and helped her cope. Everything was set up perfectly and it allowed her to settle. Stanford was a different situation and her parents could tell she was getting stuck in her head._

_“Christen love, it isn’t too late.” Stacy’s voice cut through the buzzing Christen was hearing. “You can go to USC and stay at home. You don’t have to go all the way up here for school.”_

_Christen pulled herself together quite literally. She straightened up, pulled her shoulders back and her expression went from anxious to guarded. “I’m fine. I made it into one of the best pre-med programs in the world. There is no way I am giving that up.”_

_Cody sighed. “But Chr-“_

_“Dad. Please.” Christen looked at him pleadingly. “I have to do this.”_

_“No, you don’t.” Cody said quietly. “Not if you are going to get anxious just looking at the school.”_

_Christen just shook her head. “I’ll be fine. I just have to get used to it.”_

_The college student took off walking, following the map in her hand to find her dorm while her parents followed, concerned. They knew their daughter and they loved her, but they were already worried about how she would manage the college life. Her anxiety had been manageable the last year or so, but in her own space she was okay. She could control it._

_This she couldn’t control, and Stacy and Cody were rightly concerned._

_“Hi! I’m Kelley and I am so excited to be your roommate. This is going to be amazing and I am so excited-“_

_Christen stared wide-eyed at the girl in front of her that was babbling away and talking a mile a minute. This wasn’t right. She was meant to have a calm roommate, a quiet one. This girl was talking so fast she didn’t know what was happening and if that was how she was all the time, Christen wasn’t sure how she would cope._

_She didn’t realise she started hyperventilating until her Mum started helping her reset her breathing. She was panicking and it wasn’t even day 1._

_Christen didn’t see Kelley apologising profusely or her father assuring her it wasn’t her fault. What she did feel was Kelley come and put her hand on her back and help her. By the time her breathing had settled and she was slightly calmer, Kelley was the only one holding her. _

_Christen blushed, embarrassed and tried to apologise. Kelley brushed it off. “No apologising. We are roommates and I have your back. We are here together, and we are both playing soccer and doing hella hard courses – I looked it up. We will figure it out. I can be a bit full on to start with and I am sorry for that. We will work it out.”_

_Christen nodded. “Okay.”_

_Kelley smiled. “Brilliant. Let’s get this room organised then!”_

_By the end of the day, the pair were moved in, Christen was settled and laughing with her new roommate and the Press parents were happy to go home, reassured that Christen would be okay. _

* * *

_Christen wasn’t comfortable in places until she knew more about who was there, what was going to happen and what she needed to look out for. In her previous football teams, she had been the best player and that had given her a barrier and shield against the bitches in the team. If she didn’t play, they had no chance and they knew it. In college, it would be different._

_Everyone was good and lots of them were there on athletic scholarships. Christen was there on an athletic scholarship but had been accepted into the pre-medical program, which was a big deal. Only the best were accepted. However, there were players on the team that didn’t appreciate that the new freshman was both a better player than them and smarter than them. They thought she was weird and different, and they didn’t like it._

_So they picked on her. They moved her stuff, stole it, knocked it over. Whatever they could do to send the anxious girl for a spin, they did. Kelley remarked that it seemed they had never left high school and that is exactly what it seemed like. The players there picked on her because she was different to them and better than them. Her coach told them to knock it off and stop after he saw one incident. They just moved and did it out of his sight._

_There was Freshman hazing and there was bullying. Christen was bullied and she retreated into her shell. Her safe space was in her dorm room with Kelley or with her sister Tyler somewhere, but her anxiety was getting the best of her. The new place was manageable on its own. The class load was manageable on its own. The team and playing football would be manageable with a team full of decent human beings. Even if they ignored her, christen would be okay. She was happy to be in the background and out of the spotlight. But they were making her second guess everything. _

_Christen was double and triple checking to make sure her things were where they needed to be and that no one had moved them since she last checked them. Everything always had to be in the same place and if they were off just a bit, she had to reset her whole routine. Some of her teammates loved moving things just enough to send her panicking. _

_Roadtrips were the worst. Christen was never roomed with Kelley and she was stressed the entire time. Even if she was in with half decent teammates, it was still uncomfortable. She couldn’t be herself. They didn’t accept her as her and it hurt. Her anxiety and her quirks could make her hard to live with, she knew that. But if they just tried to care like Kelley did, she would be able to manage it better._

_After the soccer season ended, Christen expected to bounce back and become herself again. She was away from the girls who were an absolute nightmare and she could focus on her studies. She could talk to Tyler and reset her college experience. _

_That didn’t happen. _

_Her schoolwork became her stress, and she punished herself with exercise if she didn’t do well enough. 95s were no longer good enough, she had to study for 100. If she didn’t get it, she beat herself up and didn’t sleep for days. Kelley called her sister, her parents, anyone she could think of for help, but Christen just kept spiralling. She was worried._

_Her parents were visiting every second weekend if they could, just trying to get through to Christen and help her. She always loved seeing her parents and Kelley could see it helped, but within a day she was back in the books, unable to let herself be._

_Christen ended her Freshman Year with one friend (Kelley), very high grades (GPA 3.9), a loss of 15 pounds, exhausted and drained. She went home and her parents took her to her doctor to see if there was something she could do to help, and the short summer at home was filled with doctors’ appointments, a few visits to the psychiatrist, nutritionist and she was banned from studying. Her parents could see the change in their middle child and it terrified them. They begged her to reconsider going to Stanford and transferring back home. She stubbornly insisted that she needed to finish it off._

_Stacy and Cody pulled Tyler and Channing aside and told the pair in no uncertain terms they were to keep an eye on Christen when they were not able to be there. They were worried and they had every right to be. They wanted her to leave that school but Christen would not. She didn’t quit and she didn’t run. She didn’t want to be beaten. She had earnt her spot in the team, in that program and she was excelling on paper. Her grades were spectacular, her play was carrying her team. But Christen herself was falling and they were hoping to catch her before she hit the floor._

_They returned to Stanford and Christen returned to her shell. She had days where she felt so dark that the world would just crumble beneath her and she had to drag herself along, and she had days where she went 1000 miles a minute and couldn’t stop. She could be a different person one day to the next, but she was always in her head, fighting some unseen force. Kelley was terrified and she spoke with the coach and her advisors. The coach did his best to keep her settled in games and training, but she was still in tears when she believed something was her fault. The advisors didn’t do much at all. They pulled her in for a meeting and spoke to her about her class load and then left it at that. _

_She studied all night, barely spoke to anyone, was very focused on her game and played her heart out, but she never felt she was good enough. Tyler and Channing would try and speak to her almost daily and she wouldn’t let them in. Kelley was ensuring she remembered to eat, but other than that the striker wouldn’t let her in. Kelley had to resort to calling her parents and getting them to speak with her on the phone, but once they were gone, Christen was to._

_They watched her spiral and they couldn’t do anything about it._

_She only left her room to train or go to class. Her teammates were cruel, the few of them that picked on her making it seem as though the world was out to get Christen. Almost every game had her in tears in the locker room, and no one except Kelley told her it was okay. Her coach said good game, and then went to the office, leaving her there. There was all this pressure on her, and she was crumbling._

_Stanford lost in the NCAA semi-final and the few horrible teammates took their anger out on Christen. They picked at her play, why she didn’t score, why she didn’t run that way, why she wasn’t absolutely perfect. _

_Christen snapped. _

_Her right hook broke the bully’s nose and she walked out of the change room. She quit officially the next day, her coach concerned about the lack of emotion in her speech but let her go without comment. Christen thought she would feel freer when she went home for Christmas. She only had school to focus on, she didn’t have to worry about training or playing. She could study her books and become the paediatrician she dreamed of. _

_Her parents insisted she went back to the psychiatrist, just to check on how things were going. Christen was fine taking the meds, she just didn’t think that they were doing anything for her. Her parents agreed but believed that there was something else at play that they hadn’t found or figured out how to manage. Christen didn’t know what to say to that, and she went back to Stanford confused and concerned, and her parents and siblings didn’t know what would happen. _

_Christen wanted to know what was happening to her, why she was so obsessive and anxious, and she wanted to know now. On top of all the work she did for class, her own research was piling up. She barely slept, barely ate. _

_Christen barely remembered the month of April. Only snippets._

_She remembered her pills running out and not refilling the prescription. She didn’t remember why she didn’t tell Kelley._

_She remembered her Mum coming to see her and just turning her back on her. _

_She remembered her Dad taking her out to get some fresh air and speaking with her, but she didn’t remember a word he said._

_She remembered Channing and Tyler pleading with her to join them for something. Anything that wasn’t in that tiny dorm room._

_She remembered Kelley holding her arms to her side and prying the scissors from her hand. She knew she needed them, and she knew she needed to feel something. She remembered crying, screaming, fighting with Kelley. She didn’t remember why._

_She remembered waking up in a hospital. _

_Her Mum had told her what happened and Christen was ashamed. She didn’t know how it had gotten so bad. Her Mum just held her and let her cry. Her Dad stood next to her bed and held them both._

_The doctors came and spoke with her often, and they conferred with her doctor at home. They spoke with Kelley, her sisters, her coach, even her teammates who were horrible to her. _

_They spoke with Christen. Even if she didn’t want to speak, they were still there._

_While she had been diagnosed with anxiety in high school, they hadn’t seen the signs for bipolar. Her episodes of not wanting to get out of bed but dragging herself along, coupled with the intense studying, always moving, manic behaviour made sense. They changed her medication and while it was the first step, there were plenty more that needed to be taken._

_She went home and the next step she took was deciding she was done with Stanford. She needed a fresh start, a new life far away from the hell that had become Stanford. Her memories of that place were dark and tainted and it wasn’t healthy for her to return. Little did she know, her father would find the best place for her to go._

_Cody, desperate to help and unable to sit by and do nothing anymore, spoke to her coach and he suggested contacting UNC. He said they had a young girl on their squad who thrived in their program and that it seemed as though it was a good environment for Christen. He could see that she was struggling at Stanford and while he was sad to lose a player of her calibre, he knew it was best for all involved. He knew that Christen needed the move._

_Christen trusted her father and applied to the school, but for an academic scholarship. She didn’t want to become a footballer, but she wanted to see if she could play for UNC. She had lost the love for the game. If she got it back during the preseason, amazing. She would play. But if not, she would work on herself._

_Christen didn’t want to return to finish out the year at Stanford, but there were only a few weeks until exams and she wanted to do complete them. She was a shell of herself, but she went out for coffee with Kelley, laughed with her sisters and her Mum stayed nearby just in case. She had support and she had protection. She had the knowledge she wouldn’t be returning next year._

_She left Stanford and never looked back._

* * *

Christen didn’t realise she had been talking for over an hour. Her throat was raw, her cheeks were wet, and she was exhausted. She turned to see Hope looking at her with understanding and acceptance.

“Thank you for trusting me.” Hope said quietly. “I am sorry you went through all that. But I am glad to hear you know what’s going on now.”

Christen nodded. “I know what it was like not to trust your own brain, your own eyes. I relate more to Tobin than I think she knows.”

“What do you mean?” Hope asked.

“I may not have been through what she did, been hurt like that, but the other stuff? Anxiety, bullying, trust issues. I get all that. I don’t have Asperger’s, but some of her struggles aren’t just because of that.” Christen shrugged. “I guess I am lucky that the medication I take seems to be working really well, and that I have tools to help myself cope. I know how to manage it. Tobin is still figuring it out and may never get a complete handle on some things, but she has a village. We both do.”

Hope exhaled shakily. “I’ve got her back. Always.”

Christen turned and smiled at Hope. “I know you do. I wouldn’t have told you about me if you didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because Tobin doesn’t know all that yet. She knows some, but she hasn’t asked, and I haven’t told. One day I will, and she will run to you.”

Hope cocked her head to the right. “Why do you say that?”

Christen shrugged. “Call it a hunch.”

Before Hope could respond, Tobin started to stir. She got an adorable crinkle on her forehead as she frowned. Hope and Christen both sat silently, waiting for Tobin to wake. Hope knew she had more than one person to protect, and Christen knew that Hope would have her back as well as Tobin’s.

Tobin opened her eyes slowly and frowned at Christen. “Blur ee.” She croaked. Christen smiled and leant across to hand her the cup with some water. Tobin gratefully sipped it and swallowed. “Blurry.” She repeated. “Can’t see.”

“Oh!” Christen said and then leant to grab the glasses from the bag. She gently placed them on Tobin’s nose and the teen blinked slowly before smiling.

“Too pretty not to see you.” Tobin said quietly.

“How are you feeling?” Christen asked while Hope chuckled. The keeper couldn’t help but laugh at how smooth the teen was drugged up.

“Floaty.” Tobin tried to shrug but it ended up just shifting her whole upper body to the left because she was drugged up. Christen and Hope quickly moved to straighten her up. “Why is the room moving?”

“It’s not Kid. Just us moving you.” Hope explained before she readjusted the blankets.

Tobin’s eyes went wide. “Hope! Hi!”

Hope chuckled. “Hi Tobin.”

Tobin turned her head with a thump and beamed at the goalkeeper, forgetting all about her girlfriend. “You’re here!”

“Yeah I am.”

“Isn’t Chris the best?” Tobin asked dreamily.

Hope looked at the blushing med student before she nodded. “I think she is pretty cool.”

Tobin nodded. “So cool. She’s, she’s um, she’s,” Tobin frowned when she couldn’t think of the word she wanted to say. “What’s the word for when someone is awesome and amazing?”

“Perfect?” Hope suggested. The drugs must have been amazing. She had no idea her girlfriend was right next to her because she turned her head and wasn't talking. It was like a three year old covering their eyes with their hands and thinking ‘I can’t see you so you can’t see me’.

Tobin beamed. “Yea. She’s perfect. I love her Hope. More than ball!”

Hope laughed a little bit. “Really?”

Tobin nodded, but the action was lazy. The meds were kicking in again and she was slowly going back to sleep. “I’m going to marry her one day.” Tobin declared.

Hope raised her eyebrows at that but kept on prodding. She could see Christen in the corner of her eye was emotional. “Really? What about ball?”

Tobin sighed. “Ball isn’t Chris.”

“Okay Tobin. Go to sleep and tell me more later.” Hope said as she pulled the blanket over her arms.

“But don’t tell Chris. It’s a secret.” Tobin sloppily put a finger over her lips and shhhhed, mucking up the blanket again.

“I promise. Go to sleep Tobin.” Hope suggested quietly. “We will be here when you wake up.”

Tobin just nodded and went back to sleep. Hope looked at Christen and smiled. “Do you think she will remember?”

“No.” Christen said. “No I don’t.”

“It is cute she wants to marry you. She is only a kid and her thoughts when drugged up are about how perfect you are and marrying you. That’s adorable.”

“I’m not perfect.” Christen said quickly.

Hope just rolled her eyes and put her hand on Christens to get her attention. “You’re not. No one is perfect. But you are perfect to her, and you are perfect for her. That is what is important. You are complimentary pieces that slot together perfectly.” Hope sighed. “I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t mean it. Regardless of your pasts, your struggles and your futures, you two work. You fit. And that is rare to see. It may not be easy or normal, it will be interesting and unique. But it will be your journey and together, you make each other better.”

Christen sniffed. “Thanks Hope.”

Hope shrugged. “Just don’t tell anyone I said that. Then I am mean again.”

Christen chuckled. “Teddy bear turns back into the grizzly bear.”

Hope grinned. “It is two sides of the same coin.”

* * *

Perry and Stacy returned about 15 minutes after Tobin went back to sleep and found Christen and Hope talking and laughing together. It brought a smile to both women’s faces.

Christen looked up and saw that Perry looked settled once again. She wasn’t stress free, but settled. She wouldn’t lose the weight on her shoulders until she spoke with her sister, drugged up or not.

Hope jumped up to give Stacy her seat before she left to grab another couple so they could all sit down. Once they were all seated, they chatted about their plans.

Hope spoke about the team and how camp was finishing up.

“Well, I was allowed out this morning because I was a keeper and didn’t have as hard of a session yesterday. The girls will try and see Tobin before camp ends in a couple days. I think there is a dinner on the final day and they will want to see her there if possible.”

Stacy smiled and nodded. “What’s in the gift bag?”

Hope grinned. “We all chipped in some money when we heard that Tobin was going to have surgery. Then we snuck Pinoe out of the hotel to go shopping and find as many of those little fiddly toys like the Rubik’s Cube as she could find. I think she got like 15 of them. There are some new laces to turn any shoes into slip-ons. Oh! And a book about computer software. Tobin was talking about some program not working for three days and we had to google what the hell she was talking about. Boxxy said that book covered whatever the hell she was talking about.”

Perry, Stacy and Christen just laughed. “She will love that. All of it.” Perry said with a grin. “Thank you.”

Hope shrugged. “Tobin deserves it all and more. She makes us better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this may be my last update for a while. 
> 
> I decided to try to learn to skateboard, stacked it and screwed up my wrist, so typing and writing kinda sucks right now. Hopefully I havent broken anything, but should know more soon. twisting my arm kills! thankfuly this was mostly done before the fall!
> 
> if i cant type, ill keep planning it out and then pump chaps out when i come back! hopefully only a couple weeks


	22. Reality Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TObin gets out of hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter everyone! i got sick of editing my resume so wrote this and havent edited a thing. Hope it works!
> 
> i will be answering the comments on the previous chapter at some point soon, there are things I want to respond to. Just need to have a chacne to do it.

“I need your help.” Hope said without preamble.

Ash frowned. “Why are you at my dorm at 6am Hope? On a Saturday!”

“Not out here.” Hope pushed past Ash and moved into her room. “Hey Ali.” She said with a nod.

“Hope.” The defender greeted sleepily.

“Didn’t picture you two, but whatever. I don’t care. Not what I am here for.” Hope said with a shrug.

“Why are you here Hope?” Ash asked tiredly. She sat next to Ali on the bed and sighed. “We were asleep.”

Hope rolled her eyes. “Tobin. Why else?”

Ali and Ash both sat up a bit straighter. “We saw her in hospital yesterday. Has something changed?”

Hope shook her head. “No. She was still pouting when I saw her last night. This isn’t about her shoulder. What do you know about Christen?”

Ash shot up, defensive. “She is a freaking angel and amazing for Tobin. If you even think about starting anything –“

“Easy there, blondie.” Hope interrupted. “I like the girl; she is good for Tobin. I meant about her past?”

Ash shook her head while Ali spoke. “I just know that she came from Stanford.”

“I know she is unique and very smart. We were told that when she transferred.” Ash said quietly. “A few of us noticed that there was something more going on with her, some of her actions were guarded and different. Some things can spin her out a bit but we didn’t push her on it. Why do you ask?”

Hope sighed. “She told me some stuff at the hospital, things that Tobin doesn’t know. She said when Tobin found out, she would come running to me. Let’s just say Tobin isn’t the only genius we should protect.”

“What was it?” Ali asked.

“Not my place to say.” Hope said and then put her hand up when the pair started to protest. “At least, I won’t go into details and break Christens trust. Look, I need your help Ash, okay? I need you to keep an eye on both of them. Because I can’t be here. You are.”

“What happened Hope?” Ash asked.

Hope ran her hands through her hair. “Christen has bi-polar. I won’t go into the rest of it, but with Tobin having had surgery, classes ramping up and all this change, I am worried about both of them. Because Christen might have a bad day and Tobin may not have any idea that it is happening, or why. Ash, I don’t know you and honestly, I don’t even know if I am going to like you, but Tobin won’t shut up about how good of a person you are. You will be here and be able to see if Chris is getting a bit down and if Tobin does notice, she may come to you for help. Christen did say she would tell her, but she isn’t ready yet. I need you to keep an eye on them. Let me know if I need to come here for either of them.”

Ash closed her eyes and exhaled. “That explains a lot about Chris.” She murmured. She looked at the first team keeper and nodded. “I’ll look out for them. And I’ll let you know if anything changes. Thank you for giving me a heads up.”

Hope nodded before turning to leave. She paused at the door. “Just quickly, does Tobin know about you two?”

“No.” Ali said. “We aren’t sure what’s going to happen, so we are just keeping it between ourselves at the moment.”

“I won’t say anything. But Tobin may be second guessing herself after her sister and Harry’s relationship back and forth and thinking they were together when they weren’t. Don’t do that to her.” Hope warned.

“We won’t.” Ash said firmly. “We just want to make sure it is set properly before we tell her.”

Hope left on that note and Ash flopped on the bed. “Fuck.” She groaned. “Those two can’t catch a break.”

Ali smiled at her softly. “At least they have people in their corner. So many people in the world can’t admit that they need help and refuse to talk about mental illnesses like depression and things like Asperger’s. Tobin doesn’t talk about it, but she manages it and does everything she can to be herself. Chris obviously knows that she needs help, I know she is seeing a psychiatrist and takes meds, I’ve seen them. Those two are doing everything they can for themselves and they have support. They will be okay.”

Ash looked at Ali quizzically. “You knew?”

Ali nodded. “I stayed in their dorm for a week. Chris keeps her meds above the sink, and I need Panadol for a headache. On their schedule is a weekly appointment with a therapist for Christen. I didn’t say anything, and I just googled what they treated. She didn’t need me butting in.”

Ash sighed and rolled into Ali’s side. “You’re an angel.”

Ali smiled. “So are you.”

* * *

“Stop fiddling with it, Tobin.” Perry scolded. “The sling is fine.”

“But Perry, it isn’t right!” Tobin was trying valiantly to adjust the sling to stop it rubbing and itching.

Before the older Heath could respond, Christen chuckled and stood from her chair. “It isn’t the sling Tobin. Your tag is still on your jacket and it’s caught. Stay still.” Christen quickly loosened the sling, pulled the tag out and removed it before straightening up Tobin’s clothes and tightening it up again. “Better?”

Tobin stuck her tongue out at her sister. Perry just rolled her eyes. “The sling was fine.”

“I was right! It wasn’t right!”

“Time out you two.” Dawn said with a shake of her head. “Tobin, we have to go to dinner.”

Tobin huffed. “Why can’t Chris come?”

“Team dinner.” Dawn said with a small smile before turning to Christen. “Christen, are you part of the team?”

Chris hid her grin as she shook her head. “No Dawn.”

Dawn smiled widely. “No Christen for dinner. Tobin, let’s go.”

Tobin pouted. “But-“

“Tobin!” Perry called. “You’re going to dinner. Am I picking you up or is Chris?"

Tobin huffed. "Chris. I want to go back to my room. I have class on Monday." Tobin said with a sigh. She didn't look her sister in the eye.

Perry nodded, looking resigned. "OKay. Chris will pick you up and take you back to the dorms. You need to say bye to the girls before they leave tomorrow. They want to check on you and you banned them from the hospital once you sobered up.”

Dawn agreed. “You are getting picked up at nine, meds at nine thirty and bed by ten. But the team need this, not just you.”

Tobin sighed. “Fine.”

* * *

Tobin was greeted by a cacophony of cheers that rocked her back on her heels. She was just out of hospital, in pain and out of sorts. The loud noise knocked her around a little bit. The team read the room and pulled it back quickly, but they all stood and came to see her. No one dared to hug her, she wasn’t in the right headspace for one. She did smile and answered their questions, but didn’t stop tapping her foot and rarely looked anyone in the eye. The team was good about it and didn’t push her.

Tobin sat in the corner, wedged in between Ali and Becky. The two defenders were good and let Tobin lead the conversation if she wanted to be in it, or let her twirl her pasta on her fork if she didn’t. The kid was in pain, exhausted and on good pain killers. She was allowed to do what she wanted at that point.

After dinner was finished, the team turned to Pia for her talk. She had very little to say as it had mostly been covered in the past week since the Canada match. Tobin had missed most of it due to her doctors appointments and few days in hospital post surgery.

“And next camp is in late May, so work hard for your clubs and we will see you all then okay?” Pia said with a small smile. She grinned properly when she saw Tobin’s face fall. “Why so sad Heath? You will be here too.”

Tobin looked at Pia, confused. “But I can’t play.” She said with a small voice.

“We need to keep you up to date with all the tactics, and we can check up on your shoulder rehab as well. Michaela and Dawn are already working on it. You’ll be here, don’t stress.”

Tobin smiled slightly and nodded, still stunned and confused. She wouldn’t believe it until it happened.

The team knew why Pia was keeping the teen around the squad while rehabbing. It happened with those who were mainstays and future stars. It was almost February and by the time camp came around, Tobin would be out of the sling and slowly getting back into it. It would get her confidence back before she returned to UNC for her final pre-season with the team, it would allow the staff to get a handle on what would be needed for future competitions and the team would have one of their future stars there, learning the ways of the team and believing that she would be there for a long time. Tobin had skills and talent, but she lacked belief and confidence at times. Bringing her in while injured would help her confidence and get Tobin to believe more in herself.

The team broke off into chatter while Tobin sat stunned. Becky went to say something when the door to the dining room opened and Christen popped her head in. Becky waved her over and she walked across the room.

Most of the team greeted Christen warmly while a few were still unsure of her. They didn’t know her and they were protective of Tobin. The reaction was fair.

Tobin had no idea Christen had walked in, still stuck in her head. Christen gently put her hand on Tobin’s good shoulder. “Hey.” Christen said softly.

Tobin jumped and her knee knocked the table, which sent four glasses of water onto their sides. “Shit.” Tobin exclaimed as she jumped up to her feet fully. “I’m sorry.”

The girls quickly righted the glasses and Tobin stepped back with a frown. “Shit. I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine Tobi.” Ali said softly. “It was an accident.”

“But I –“

“Tobi.” Becky said firmly but softly. “It’s okay. Really, you did nothing wrong.”

Before Tobin could respond, they heard a gasp from the other side of the room. “Fucking hell!” Pinoe had jumped to her feet. “Really Hope?” She exclaimed.

“It was an accident. Carli knocked my arm.” Hope defended herself. “You shouldn’t have your glass there.”

The other side of the room descended into chaos and arguments, with players standing and the noise was deafening. All the attention moved to the commotion. Ali smiled at Tobin. “I think you guys should go now. Sneak out while everyone is distracted. Perry got your bags the other day, you just get to go.”

Tobin nodded and stood slowly. She looked at Pia who nodded and mouthed, “go.” Tobin grabbed her phone and put it in her bag while Christen grabbed her jacket. Christen held her hand out, giving Tobin the option to take it or not as they left. Tobin gripped it hard and they walked out without another word. Christen did look over her shoulder and smiled at the group to say goodbye, and they waved at her quietly without making a deal of it because they were making an absolute racket on purpose. Hope sent her a wry wink.

Christen looked back to the front and led Tobin to her car without a word. She didn’t start the car, she just let Tobin get herself centred.

It took 5 minutes for Tobin to settle herself and put her seatbelt on. Christen smiled. “Ready to go home?”

Tobin nodded. “Very ready.”

* * *

Tobin was out like a light as soon as she was manoeuvred into her pyjamas. Christen saw everything, and Tobin didn’t care anymore. She was tired and she trusted Christen. She allowed her to help her when she was most vulnerable. It was a big step, but one that was due. They were at that point, and both women acknowledging it was an even bigger one.

Christen sent Perry a photo of the passed out teen as an update, and she sent it to Ali and Hope as well while she thought about it. Hope was a complex person, but Christen could see why Tobin opened to her. She had done the same thing herself and didn’t doubt she had made the right decision. Before she got any replies, she got into bed next to Tobin and settled in. She had missed her girlfriend and while the next few months would be tough, she was looking forward to being with her without interruptions.

* * *

The door had closed behind the pair and the team let the noise die down within ten seocnds. Pinoe waited five seconds more before she turned to Hope and blew. “Was that really necessary?”

“Yes.” Hope deadpanned.

“You tipped your drink in my lap!”

Hope shrugged. “It worked didn’t it? Tobin got out of here without a fuss.”

“Why didn’t you put it into your lap then?” Pinoe asked, frustrated. "Why did I have to get wet?"

Hope scoffed. “Why the hell would I do that? That’s just stupid.”

Pinoe stormed off to giggles from the team. Hope just took a sip of water, feeling very proud of herself. She thought it was a great plan. The team had thought of a distraction so Tobin could leave without a big fuss. The fact she enjoyed it way too much was just a bonus.

* * *

“Hey.” Harry said with a smile.

“Hi.” Perry said wearily.

“How’s the kid?” Harry asked. She was back in LA and hadn’t gotten an update on Tobin today. Skype calls at 9pm were her update.

“Back in the dorms with Christen tonight. The next month or so will be tough, but she will get through it.”

“That’s good.” Harry said. “How are you?”

“Exhausted. I haven’t slept well this week.”

“Cause I’m not there?” Harry asked with a grin.

Perry rolled her eyes. “Cause I am worried about my sister. Stacy and Cody flew home today, you aren’t here, and Tobin asked to go back to the dorms and not come home. It is weird. She is always here after big surgeries. It is weird.”

“You know that is a good thing, right?” Harry asked. Perry looked at her quizzically, so Harry elaborated. “She is growing up. She wants to do it herself. Being in her own space, on campus with her friends and with Christen is her way of doing that. Coming home to you would probably, and don’t take offence to this, make Tobin feel like a kid. She is trying to do it herself and this is the best way she could.”

Perry frowned. “I want her to grow up. I just worry about her.”

“I know.” Harry put her hands up. “She is 17, and most 17-year-olds who had a shoulder reconstruction would come home to their parents. But Tobin isn’t most 17-year-olds.”

“That is why I am worried.” Perry exclaimed. “I can’t help her out, I can’t get her to her appointments, I can’t make sure she is okay.”

Harry nodded. “You can’t, that is true. But babe, Tobin isn’t alone. Tobin would have come home to you if Christen wasn’t there, I have no doubt about that. But Christen is. And Tobin being able to still walk to class, walk to the soccer fields, see the team doctor and not need to be driven there by you is good for her. And it is amazing that Tobin feels she is able to do that. She has independence at UNC, and she can control her own rehab and classes. She can make her own choices Perry.”

Perry sighed. “But what if she gets stuck in research and doesn’t go? Or forgets because she is thinking about soccer?”

“Then she forgets.” Harry said with shrug. “You can’t keep her wrapped in bubble wrap babe. In less than a year she will be somewhere in the country where you won’t be, I won’t be and Christen won’t be. This is one baby step she needs to take. There will be ups and downs and she may call for help. If she does, you will be there in a heartbeat. If she doesn’t, we be happy that she is comfortable to do it herself.”

Perry frowned. “This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

Harry smiled softly. “Your baby is growing up. It is hard for everyone.”

“How are you so calm about this?” Perry asked with a sigh.

Harry’s expression turned sad. “Because I have had to walk away more than once and watch from a distance. You haven’t had to.”

“Does it get easier?”

Harry nodded. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.”

Perry sighed. “Brilliant. Just brilliant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEt me know what you think! It has been a while i know., hopefully next update isnt as long a wait


	23. Spirals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin finds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back? I don't know when any other update will be, but this one is here and you know, yay! I got one out! 
> 
> TW for mental health, bipolar, self harm.

Tobin was standing in her pyjamas with a look of intense concentration on her face as she stared at the clothes laid out on her bed. She had class in an hour and she needed to get dressed, but she was thinking.

Christen was sitting on her bed, smiling to herself after she took an adorable picture of the concentrating teen, waiting for her to say something. Christen knew she was going to have to be patient with Tobin during this time with the teen known to go at her own pace.

Suddenly Tobin sighed and turned to Christen with a pout. “Chris…”

Christen smiled at Tobin. “Yes?”

“Can you help me put my jeans on?” Tobin asked softly. “Buttons are hard with one hand.”

“You don’t want to wear track pants?” Christen asked as she stood up.

Tobin shook her head. “I have a meeting with my academic advisors today. I can’t wear track pants in that office.”

Christen nodded and then walked across to the clothes. “Alright, let’s do this so we can get breakfast.”

It took the pair about ten minutes to get Tobin fully changed and her clothes on. Tobin was trying not to take strong painkillers, so getting shirts on was harder than normal because the slightest movements ached more than expected. Ironically, Tobin ended up wearing one of Christens button down shirts as it was easiest to get on.

Tobin and Christen walked to the cafeteria hand in hand, with Christen carrying both their book bags. Tobin was quiet on the walk and kept fiddling with Christens fingers, which was normal. Once they were seated in the café with their food, Tobin put her hand out for Christens. The med student put her left hand in Tobin’s and the teen shook her head. “Your right one please.”

Christen sighed and swapped her hands. Tobin leant forward and frowned. “How did I never notice that before?” She asked.

Christen smiled sadly. “Because when we hold hands, your right hand normally holds my left. Because of your shoulder, your left hand held my right.” Christen explained.

Tobin was looking down and tracing the scar across her girlfriends palm. “But there were other times we were touching?” Tobin didn’t blush which didn’t go unnoticed by Christen.

“I think you were probably a bit distracted by other things babe.” Christen said with a chuckle.

Tobin just looked at Christen in concern. “What happened?”

Christen sighed before she took a sip of her tea. “Do you remember when Kelley was telling you about me at Stanford?”

Tobin nodded. “Yeah.”

“And that she had to call the paramedics and I went to hospital?” Christen asked.

Tobin frowned. “Did this happen then?”

Christen nodded. “Yea. This happened then.”

“Oh.” Tobin sat back and looked at Christen with concern. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked after about a minute. She didn’t look as though she was comfortable asking about it.

Christen squeezed Tobins hand. “It might be a conversation we should have when you’re not in a lot of pain and we can both focus on it properly. It’s not a short story honey.”

Tobin nodded. “Okay. But if you want to talk, I am here. I will be okay listening, I swear.”

“Tobi.” Christen said softly. “I know. But the right time will come okay?”

Tobin nodded. “Okay.” She picked up Christens hand and kissed her scarred palm softly. “I love you.” She said with a small smile.

Christen smiled back. “I love you too.”

* * *

Tobin was sitting outside of her academic advisors building, staring at the mobile in her shaking hand. She needed advice, she needed an opinion that was unbiased, and she needed it now. She just didn’t know who to call.

“You okay there, kid?”

Tobin looked up at the familiar voice. “Bati?”

He smiled at her, hiding his concern. “You’ve been sitting on that bench for ten minutes. Aren’t you cold?”

Tobin nodded. Bati came and sat next to her. “What’s up? You look tense.”

Tobin sighed. “I don’t know who to call.”

Bati frowned. “Do you need to get somewhere? I can drive you if you need to. Or I can call Chris or Ash? They have cars.”

Tobin shook her head. “No. I can walk to my dorm.”

“What do you need to talk about then?” He asked with a soft voice. He had been the one who Allie had woken up when she found the articles about Tobin’s past. He knew what had been reported, what had been done to her. He had done even more research into it and his heart broke. He thought it might have something to do with that and he wanted to tread carefully.

“How did you know what you wanted to do for a job?”

Bati wasn’t expecting the question but he rolled with it. “Honestly, I still don’t know for sure. I know what I like to study but I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. So many things will change that I thought I’d pick something that would give me a good start. Why do you ask?”

Tobin sighed. “My advisors want me to do a PHD.”

Bati smiled at the genius, but she hadn’t looked at him since he sat down so didn’t see it. She was more interested in fiddling with her phone. “That’s cool. They must think you have a good chance of doing well in it! Dr Heath has a good ring to it to!”

Tobin huffed. “They want me to give up soccer and stay here.”

“Okay.” Bati said softly. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to play soccer. AND THEY KNOW THAT!” Tobin exclaimed loudly before she groaned. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Bati said quietly. “Are you trying to figure out who is the best person to talk to? About how to deal with this?” Tobin nodded and Bati smiled knowingly. “I’d try and find someone unbiased, and someone who will just want you to be your best self and do what you want to do. Someone who knows what it’s like to be an adult.”

Tobin looked up at Bati like he had given her some clarity and he smiled at her kindly. “I’m going to walk you home so you can make that phone call. I think you just thought of the person you need to talk to.” He stood and put Tobin’s bag over his shoulder.

Tobin stood and shook out her legs. “Thanks Bati.”

“Anytime. Now, tell me. What’s your favourite video game?”

Tobin perked up and looked at him with a gobsmacked expression. “You play?”

“I’m a PlayStation kid. Uncharted is my favourite at the moment.” Bati explained with a grin.

For the 15 minute walk back to her dorm room, Tobin and Bati spoke about video games and PlayStation in particular. Tobin was bubbly and bouncing, loving talking to someone who actually had some idea about games. Cody was awesome, but he had very little clue about the modern stuff. Bati had a wide range of knowledge and Tobin thrived.

Before Bati left, he promised that he would come back later in the week and they could talk some more about games, but only if Tobin made the phone call she needed to. Tobin just nodded before she sat on her bed and dialled the number.

“Tobin?” The voice on the other end of the line sounded surprised. “You normally call on Thursdays! Is everything okay back at college? How is your shoulder going? How is my daughter?”

“Hi Stacy.” Tobin said softly. “I’m okay, sore, but I’ll get there.”

“That’s good.”

“Have you got some time to talk?” Tobin asked. Stacy could tell she was nervous.

“I always have time to talk to you. What’s going on?”

Tobin took a deep breath. “Well, it’s actually a few things.”

“Okay. Start where you need to.”

* * *

As it was Tuesday, Tobin was dragged to dinner at Nonna’s by her friends. She was tired from a long day, an emotional talk with Stacy and she was sore. Tobin was quiet at dinner, but they didn’t care. They were happy she was there, even when she put her head on Christens shoulder and seemingly fell asleep.

Ash took a photo of the snoozing teen and sent it off to a few people. Ali got the first one, then Perry and Harry, but she also grudgingly sent it to Hope as an update on Tobin. She had promised to update the keeper and she kept her promises.

Hope got the photo from Ash and chuckled. She then sent it off to a few of the players in the team, who forwarded it to some others. By the end of the evening, all of the National Team and those who were friends with Tobin had seen this photo of her asleep in a restaurant, leaning on her girlfriend who was looking at her with love in her eyes. You couldn’t miss it.

Ash would update Hope weekly, every Tuesday, always with a photo and sometimes a few sentences of how she had been. Hope would then forward it to the team and they would all know how the genius was going. They all liked that they knew how she was going so that they knew where they stood when they saw her at the next camp.

It was the start of Tobin Tuesday, a tradition that even the teams Tobin would play for in the future would jump on board with.

* * *

Tobin and Christen made it back to their dorm room and immediately got into their PJs. They had about an hour where they would normally just relax but Tobin had other ideas. She sat in front of her girlfriend exhaled loudly.

Christen smiled at her. “How was your meeting?”

“Not great.” Christen frowned but let Tobin continue. “I spoke with Bati and your Mum about it actually.”

Christen just motioned for her to continue, not sure where Bati and her Mum came into but knowing that could be cleared up later.

“The school want me to a PHD. They wanted me to not go into the draft and stay here and study.”

“Oh.” Christen said softly before she leant forward and took Tobin’s hand in both of hers. “What did you say?”

Tobin blushed. “No?” The look on Christens face made her sigh. “I stormed out and didn’t give them an answer.”

“Oh Tobi…”

“I know! You’re Mum said I should have been calmer and told them I’d think about it before I reacted.” Tobin said glumly. “But they wanted me to make a decision on the spot and they know I don’t want to do that!”

“Okay. It’s okay.” Christen said calmly. “What did my Mum say?”

Tobin smiled. “She gave me some advice and helped me figure out my thoughts and we made a bit of a plan for the next little while.” Tobin took a breath. “I’m gonna finish these degrees by December and then enter the draft. Then I am gonna play and not study for a bit. I don’t know what I want to do and your Mum said that was okay. I can take my time and look for what I want to try later.”

“Well that’s good. Are you happy about that?” Christen asked.

Tobin nodded. “I pretty much know what’s gonna happen for the next two years now. I won’t know where I am going to play or where you are going to med school, but I know that I won’t have anything else I have to worry about. I don’t have to worry about projects or readings or research. I can have my own projects and work on them in my own time. It’s freeing.”

Christen smiled. “I’m very glad. What made you think to call my Mum?”

“She just wants me to be happy and what’s best for me. Her and your Dad always said I could talk to them whenever I needed to, and she was so calm and helped me figure out all the things going through my brain.” Tobin smiled. “You have a cool Mum.”

Christen chuckled. “Oh yeah?”

“Almost as cool as Perry.” Tobin joked.

“Why didn’t you call her?” Christen asked out of curiosity. “You talk to her about everything don’t you?”

Tobin sighed. “I do, but I needed a different perspective. Perry has always said I can do what I want to, when I want to, and encouraged me to do everything. Stacy helped me figure out the timeline of what I want to do and how to do it. I’ll call her tomorrow and tell her what happened.”

“Okay then.” Christen said with a small smile. “I am really glad you know what you’re going to do for the next little while.”

Tobin smiled. “I just have to get my shoulder fixed up and then I can start playing again. I can’t wait.”

* * *

Tobin was out of the sling 6 weeks after surgery. She had been very diligent with her rehab and couldn’t wait to get back to soccer. She knew she had to be very careful but now she felt could see the finish line, the comeback was properly on.

  
Christen loved seeing Tobin getting back into it. She had been mopey while in the sling and feeling restless. She had a bit more freedom now and it showed in her expression. She was happy again.

Exam time was just on the horizon and there was a shift in the university. Most people started to knuckle down and study a lot harder than they had been previously. Tobin found herself up on the roof of the science building on more than one occasion while she was studying, always telling Christen where she was but needing the freedom from the four walls of their dorm. Christen found herself in study groups for a few of her harder classes and enjoyed having a sounding board. She was putting more on herself but felt she could manage it. She was feeding off of Tobin’s positivity and it was a great feeling.

One morning in early April, Tobin got up and dressed and went to her early class as normal, leaving Christen sleeping. She hadn’t been feeling well and had just told Tobin she was a bit flat. Tobin ensured she had everything she could possibly need before she left, but was planning to come back at lunch to check on her.

Tobin was concerned when she found her still in bed and woke her gently. “Honey?”

Christen stirred and opened her eyes to see a concerned Tobin looking down at her. “Hey. What time is it?” She asked gravelly, her voice rough from sleep.

“Midday. Are you feeling better?”

Christen sat up and shrugged. “A little. I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure? You were really hyper and happy last week and now you seem really down.” Tobin said softly. “It worries me.”

Christen hugged her knees to her chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Do you know what’s happening?” Tobin asked. Her mind went back to the other thing she discussed briefly with Stacy, the cut on Christens palm, but Stacy had said not to worry and that Christen would tell her when she was ready.

“I do. I’ve got an appointment with a doctor tomorrow to sort something out.”

Tobin frowned. “Do you want me to come with you?”

Christen smiled at her girlfriend. “I would like that very much.”

* * *

Tobin and Christen were sitting together on a bench in the park, holding hands and talking quietly. They were about to go to Christens appointment and the med student wanted to give Tobin a heads up.

“I was diagnosed with bipolar this time last year during my psych hold that Kelley told you about.” Christen said softly. “I have medication which helps me manage it and I see someone to talk about everything, but stressful times seem to make it harder to manage. When I was really up last week, I thought it was because you were getting your sling off and I was feeding off your happiness. Then I started feeling down and I knew that I was a bit out of balance and that it was something more. I called the doctor for an appointment when I realised.”

Tobin looked at their joined hands and flipped Christens over to reveal the scar. She traced it gently. “Did this happen because of the bipolar?” Tobin asked.

Christen sighed but nodded. “I didn’t remember getting it. I remember Kelley holding my arms down and apart and pulling at my hands, but I didn’t remember why. I came to in the hospital with this bandage on my hand. The doctors explained that I had opened a pair of scissors up and was holding one of the blades tightly in my hand. I had been ranting about needing to feel something and Kelley grabbed me, held me and tried to pry my hand open to get the scissors. She couldn’t pry it open, so she grabbed one of the holes your fingers went in to hold them and yanked it out, cutting my hand open. If Kelley had been home five minutes later, I may have done something to hurt myself. And the scariest thing is I don’t really remember it. I had spiralled so far. I barely remember April of last year. But this scar is a reminder of the day I hit rock bottom and the day I started coming back up.”

Tobin looked at her, concerned. “Is it going to get bad like that again? Will I even notice if it does? You normally tell me when you feel a bit out of it.”

Christen put her hands on either side of Tobin’s face. “I know what’s happening now, I know how to judge it, I know more now. I can’t say it will never happen again, but I can say that I know when I am feeling out of balance. I called the doctor immediately, I called my parents and then I went to bed. The next thing that happened was you woke me up at midday all concerned and loving. You noticed Tobin. You realised that something was different and you spoke to me about it. You did everything perfectly, even if you didn’t know why.”

Tobin nodded and Christen smiled at her softly. “I’ll be alright. I just need someone to help me get there. I go to the doctor and she can help me out, and we will figure it out okay?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tobin asked.

Christen sighed. “Because I wasn’t ready to talk to you about it yet. And I know that seems like a lame excuse, but it is true. I didn’t know how to tell you without hurting you, and I obviously still hurt you which is the last thing I wanted to do.”

Tobin shook her head. “I’m fine. You told me know and that’s all that matters.”

Christen nodded. “My mum is flying in tomorrow for a few days. Dad is coming in two weeks. They are going to be in and out just checking up on me.”

Tobin smiled. “That’s good. That’s really good.”

Suddenly, Christens phone buzzed, scaring the pair of them. She looked at it and chuckled humourlessly. “We should go. My appointment is in 30 minutes.”

The pair walked hand in hand, but in silence. They drove to the appointment in silence. Tobin was trying to wrap her head around everything and Christen was getting herself sorted for the appointment. She knew her girlfriend needed space and time, and she knew she needed quiet.

Tobin stayed in the waiting room for the appointment, pacing and jittery. She kept grabbing her phone out, dialling a number and then hanging up. She was stuck in two minds. For the entire hour she deliberated and by the time Christen exited with a new prescription and another therapists appointment for the next day, she was no closer to deciding what she wanted to do. She needed to talk about it, but she didn’t want to break Christens trust.

She didn’t know what to do. All she knew was she couldn’t hurt Christen.

* * *

Two days after that appointment, the pair were in their dorm room together, quietly studying. They had been speaking about the appointment and Christens past on and off, but they still had a lot to cover. Tobin was one who needed details, examples, context, to understand. She didn’t understand the vague answers others would add context to. She needed it straight up.

There was a knock at the door and the sudden noise made them both jump. It was a bang, and it was a shock. Tobin went to answer it as she was closest and was stunned at who she saw. “Why are you here?”

“You cannot call me over 18 times and then hang up, then not return any of my messages for 24 hours and not expect me to turn up in a panic.” Hope moved into the room and she looked stressed. “Are you okay?” She asked the pair. She looked back at Tobin when she closed the door. “What happened?”

Tobin was silent and looking at her fingers, while Christen smiled tightly. “I told her.”

Hope stopped and breathed deeply. “Oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll do my best to write more often, but no promises! My muse is coming and going for these - if anyone has any ideas or anything, put it in the comments! Same for Private and Secretive, but that one has different muse problems atm
> 
> Let me know what you think and where you think it should go!


	24. Talk it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin needs to talk it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been a while. It's been crazy here. I'll try my best to update more often.

_There was a knock at the door and the sudden noise made them both jump. It was a bang, and it was a shock. Tobin went to answer it as she was closest and was stunned at who she saw. “Why are you here?”_

_“You cannot call me over 18 times and then hang up, then not return any of my messages for 24 hours and not expect me to turn up in a panic.” Hope moved into the room and she looked stressed. “Are you okay?” She asked the pair. She looked back at Tobin when she closed the door. “What happened?”_

_Tobin was silent and looking at her fingers, while Christen smiled tightly. “I told her.”_

_Hope stopped and breathed deeply. “Oh.”_

There was silence. And then Tobin did something she hadn’t done since she had joined the National Team.

She ran.

She was out the door and down the hallway before Christen and Hope could think to move. They were stunned.

“Shit. Tobin!” Hope moved out the door and looked left and right before she punched the door frame. “Fuck.”

Christen had jumped up from her chair when the door banged, but now she just leant against the wall when Hope came in and sat on the desk chair. “She hasn’t processed it.” Christen said quietly.

“That doesn’t matter.” Hope growled. “I get that she is 17, but she just can’t run from this. She left her phone, her jacket. I get it is mid-March, but the wind is strong, it is colder than normal for this time of year and she could get a cold.” Hope sighed. “Where would she have gone?”

Christen looked across at the goalkeeper. “Perry, Nonna or Kate if she needs to talk. Or the science building if she needs space. Or the field if she needs to kick something. No one knows about the science building except me though.”

Hope nodded. “Okay. I’ll message Perry and she can talk to her Nonna and Kate. I’ll get Ash to go the field to check and I’ll go to the science building.”

Christen frowned and stood up straight. “I’m coming too.”

Hope shook her head. “What if she comes back here? Someone needs to be here otherwise she might freak.”

“I’ll get Allie to stay.”

“Chris.” Hope looked at her with a small smile. “You need to stay here. Allie can stay with you, but you need to stay here. Tobin needs you to stay here.”

Christen shook her head and wiped the tears threatening to spill over. “I’m useless.”

Hope moved forward and hugged her tight. “No, you aren’t. Don’t ever think that. You called it yourself that Tobin would come to me, remember? Let me be there for her now, and you look after yourself. You need to put yourself first, I’ve got the Kid.”

Christen cried into her shoulder for a few minutes before she pulled herself together enough to let her go. Hope was a solid presence, one that Christen needed as much as Tobin at that moment.

“I’ll be back in two minutes okay?” Hope said before she left quickly, moving down the hall and banging on Ash’s door. She was not in the mood to be polite to the keeper.

The door was yanked back by a pissed off blonde goalkeeper in pyjamas. “What the fuck!? What the fuck is stuck up your ass Solo?!”

“Get dressed Blondie. Tobin’s done a runner, and you need to go to the field and see if she goes there.” Hope looked further into the room to see another blonde looking at her, slightly amused. “You, Blondie Two, go find Allie and then go wait with Christen in her room. She needs someone to crash with for a bit.”

Whit just rolled her eyes but got up and moved to the door. “If it was any one but those two, I’d refuse.” She poked Ash in the ribs. “Get moving Ash. I’ll send the Tobin Watch to the girls.”

Ash glared at Hope. “I really don’t like you.”

Hope smirked. “I don’t like you either. But Tobin supersedes that. And Chris.”

“And Chris?” Ash asked. “Really?”

Hope nodded. “The kids need us.”

Whitney laughed loudly from the other side of the room. “You sound like your divorced parents juggling custody of your kids.”

Hope and Ash both cringed at the image, but neither denied it as they went their opposite ways.

* * *

Perry looked at the message on her phone and sighed, but she wasn’t surprised. Tobin had done this before and with everything that was going on at the moment, her mind would be going a million miles a minute.

The architect grabbed her phone and called Nonna and Kate, alerting them to the situation. Kate promised to keep the arcade open until she heard from Perry, just in case Tobin wandered in later as she had done before. Nonna insisted on sending meals to Perry’s so she didn’t have to worry about food and she also sent her son Nico out in his car to drive to Tobin’s favourite spots around campus. Nico and Perry may have broken up, but he loved Tobin like a little sister and hated seeing her distressed.

After she had alerted Nonna and Kate, she video-called Harry and informed her of the situation. The reporter smiled softly. “You know she will be okay. She runs to the same four places and they are all covered.”

“This feels different. She knows we know where she runs for space. If she doesn’t want to be found, she will go somewhere we have never thought about.” Perry was concerned.

“If she hasn’t popped up in two hours, worry. It takes 90 minutes max for her to walk to her spots and us to find her, we timed them remember.” Harry said quietly.

Perry nodded and Harry relaxed slightly. “Tell me about the job hunt.” She prompted.

Perry took the distraction and started talking. She had her phone in her hand just in case.

* * *

“Tobin ran.” Ash said.

“WHAT!?” The voice on the end of the line exclaimed. “WHY?”

“Ali, calm down.” Ash said as she walked to the middle of the field and sat down. “She has done in before, and she always turns up. She hasn’t processed Chris having bi-polar and she needs some space.”

“When did she find out?”

Ash sighed. “A few days ago I think. Chris hasn’t been herself and Tobin noticed.”

“She noticed?” Ali was surprised. “That’s amazing.”

Ash nodded, not thinking that Ali couldn’t see her. “Yea. But she won’t see it that way.”

“She will think she should have been more aware, looking for clues she didn’t know where out there for something she didn’t know was a problem. Her mind will have been spinning.” Ali finished. “Shit.”

“Yea. Shit.”

The pair were quiet for a minute before Ali spoke. “She needs someone neutral, solid, calming, to talk to.”

“Hope is here.” Ash grumbled. “I don’t know how she knew.”

Ali laughed lightly. “Mama bear Hope Solo. You might hate to hear this, but she may be exactly what Tobin needs right now.”

* * *

Hope was leaning against the door jam on the top of the science building, watching a stressed and tense Tobin pace. It had taken Hope an hour to convince security to let her up, and by the time she got to the roof, Tobin had been there for almost 90 minutes. Hope immediately texted the group that she had found the genius, but didn’t approach for a few minutes. She watched and waited for the time to move. Hope knew she was blunt, tough and strong and while that could help Tobin now, she knew she also had to be calm, quiet and supportive at the same time. She couldn’t get mad that the Kid had run, she had to understand why and help her before she lost her shit about the running.

After a few minutes, Tobin flopped to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. “How did you find me?” Her voice was flat, low and Hope sighed.

“Your girlfriend told me.” Hope said softly. She walked across at sat a meter in front of Tobin. She was picking at a whole in her sweatpants and was shivering. Hope handed her the oversized Stanford sweatshirt she had taken from the room and Tobin quickly put it on. “I made her stay back in your rooms in case you wandered back.”

“Why would she want me back?” Tobin muttered. “I’m useless.”

Hope placed her hand gently on Tobin’s knee but pulled back quickly when Tobin jerked away about a foot. “Sorry.”

Tobin sniffed. “Please don’t touch me.” She was looking out at the stars.

Hope nodded. “Okay. Do you want me to go?” Hope didn’t want to go anywhere, but this was a Tobin she didn’t know, hadn’t met and was unsure of how to deal with. She felt out of her depth. This Tobin was one who was in the midst of an internal battle of her own self worth and abilities. Even in camp early on, Tobin didn’t get like this.

Tobin shook her head. “Just don’t touch me. I don’t like the touching.”

Hope cocked her head to the side. “Sometimes all you want to do is cuddle.” It was a statement, but Tobin answered anyway.

“It depends. Right now, I don’t like it. Sorry I’m such a weirdo about it.”

“You aren’t a weirdo, or useless, or a freak, or any of those other words that I am sure are bouncing through your head right now.” Hope said firmly. Tobin just kept picking at her sweats. “There are times I don’t like people touching, times all I want is a hug and times when all I want to do is put my fist through a wall. Everyone goes through this Tobin, it is totally normal.”

Tobin looked at Hope for the first time that night, and there was pain in her eyes. “But you don’t think of the time someone used a tire iron to break your arm when you don’t want people to touch you, do you? Or the time you had to get stitches because your arm was sliced with a scalpel?” Hope didn’t respond and Tobin looked up at the sky. “I am a freak, a weirdo, and any other name you want to think off. I have 17 years of evidence to back it up.”

“Tobin, I –“

“HOPE!” Tobin yelled. “I can’t even tell when someone is happier than normal! I can’t tell when the person who means the world to me is struggling! I can’t tell if someone who is going to hug me actually wants to punch me in the ribs. I don’t know if the team even likes me, or if they just pity me. My mind is a fucking maze and I can’t figure it out!”

Hope was stunned but she kept her head. “You did notice though.”

Tobin sniffed. “What?”

“With Chris, you did notice something was up. You did notice she was really happy and then you noticed she was really flat. When she got flat, you realised it was a big change and then you spoke to her. I know you won’t want to hear this Tobin, but for you and with your history, that’s an amazing achievement.” Hope said quietly.

“But I didn’t know why, and I couldn’t help her, and I was absolutely useless.”

“Did you need to know why?” Hope asked.

“Huh?”

Hope smiled slightly at the dumbfounded look on the Kids face before she kept going. “Did you need to know why? No, because it didn’t matter why. What mattered was Chris was in a bad place and you realised it. Even if you think you should have seen it immediately, or somehow realised that she had bipolar and that she was in a bit of an episode, you didn’t have to. She wasn’t ready to tell you, and that’s okay. You still noticed something was up and made sure that she got help. You went with her to the doctor, she talked to you about it. Even if it takes a year for you to find out everything, she will tell you. Chris just needs time.”

“But if I am so smart, shouldn’t I know these things without Chris having to tell me?” Tobin said quietly.

“No, because honestly Tobin? Even if Chris is your girlfriend, until she tells you and lets you in, it is absolutely none of your fucking business.” Hope was blunt but she needed to be. “Does Chris know everything about your past and your time in foster care? What every scar on your back details, what every nightmare you have is about?”

Tobin wiped her eyes. “No.”

“Why not?” Hope prompted.

“Because I don’t know how to tell her, and I am not ready to tell her.”

“But Chris is very smart. Shouldn’t she know about this without you having to tell her?” Hope asked. Tobin opened her mouth to respond but paused. Hope took that moment to continue. “No, she shouldn’t. Because until you tell her about your past, it isn’t any of her fucking business either.”

Hope stood up and then crouched in front of Tobin. “You aren’t useless, you aren’t a freak. You didn’t fuck up. You noticed, you helped Chris and then you did the most important thing of all.”

Tobin looked up at Hope, confused. “What?”

“You called me so I could help you. Even if you didn’t know it.” Hope took a deep breath. “I get a bit of what you are going through okay? I didn’t have the best childhood. Nowhere near as bad as yours, but I got picked on for being different and until I learnt to defend myself, I just took it all on the chin. And sometimes, I don’t want people to hug me because I am scared that they might hit me, even if I know that they won’t. Everyone has their shit and their struggles, and everyone needs their village to help them.”

Tobin nodded and Hope smiled at her. “Come on. I think we need to get you back to your room. You’re going blue.”

Tobin pouted. “Is Chris mad at me?”

“No, just concerned. I don’t think she could ever be mad at you. Although she might be mad at me if you get hypothermia.” Hope held her hands out and Tobin took them. Hope gently helped her to her feet, wary of the shoulder. As they were walking down the stairs, Hope asked about how the rehab was going.

“It’s good. Slow but by the time camp comes I might be able to do a bit more physical work, not just stretches and stuff.” Tobin said quietly. “I miss football.”

“In a years time, you will be in the league, not in college and be able to focus on just that.” Hope said with a smile. “Where do you want to be drafted?”

“Los Angeles. They have a team and they could get a high pick and take me.” Tobin said with a small smile.

“Why LA?” Hope thought she knew the answer but wanted to hear Tobin’s thoughts.

“Perry will move there with Harry, at least to California somewhere and Christens family is there. I have family there.” Tobin said with a smile.

“Oh yeah? Christens family is yours too huh?” Hope nudged her a bit as they walked out the building.

Tobin blushed but nodded. “Yea. I think they really are. They say they are, and I believe them.”

“What about Chris? Has she thought about medical school and where she wants to go?” Hope asked.

Tobin shook her head. “She said she is waiting till Summer to have a look. I don’t know what she will pick. She deserves the best.”

Hope smiled. “Yes she does.”

* * *

Hope knocked on the door once before she pushed it open. “Delivery of one very cold teenager.” Tobin slinked in behind Hope looking at her toes but jerked back at the explosion of noise coming from the beds. She only thought Chris would be there.

Ash, Allie, Whit, Chris, Bati, Perry and Kate were all there with looks of concern on their faces. When they saw Tobin, a few of them couldn’t contain their relief. Perry saw Tobins reaction and quickly shut them down. Tobin was on a bit of a precipice and she needed to pulled in, not pushed out. “Allie, Whit, Bati, thank you for waiting here for Tobin with Christen. Maybe you can talk to her tomorrow?” The three took the dismissal as it was and quickly left, making sure to say bye to the teen in the doorway but not crowd her.

Kate was the next to go. She smiled at Tobin warmly. “My pinball machine is broken. Think you can have a look at it this week?”

Tobin nodded. “Wednesday?” She said quietly.

Kate beamed and kissed her temple. “See you then Kiddo.”

“Bye Mrs B.” Tobin mumbled as the arcade owner left with a grin.

Perry sighed but smiled at her kid. “Nonna sent some food for you. Come eat and warm up under the blankets so you can get warm.”

Tobin shuffled forward and grabbed the pizza box from Perry before she turned to sit on her bed. She saw Chris there with a blanket held up and soft smile on her face. Tobin made her way over and Chris put the blanket down across her legs. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Tobin said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“No it isn’t!” Ash exclaimed from the other bed.

“Shut up Blondie.”

“Make me butter fingers.”

“ENOUGH!” Perry exclaimed. "You aren't 4!"

The two keepers looked at Perry and dropped their eyes. They didn’t say another word.

Christen just shook her head at the two keepers’ antics before she turned back to Tobin. “Did you sort your head out?”

Tobin nodded. “Yea. I realised something was up, but I couldn’t know what because I didn’t have the context. And I have to wait to get the context until you are ready, the same way you have to wait for me to be ready to tell me about my past. I guess I needed it spelled out to me.”

Christen smiled. “We will get there eventually. Some things are harder to talk about than other I guess.”

Tobin nodded and then yawned widely. Perry took that as her queue to go. As much as she wanted to stay and look after Tobin, what she needed was Christen and space. She would come to her when she was ready. “Hope, Ash, let’s leave these two. Hope, you can stay at mine.”

The two keepers knew there would be no arguments and left without a fuss. They could see her tomorrow.

Once the door was shut, Perry looked at the two keepers unamused. “You two need to grow up. I know you don’t like each other, I don’t even know why and I don’t care either, but Tobin needs both of you. Act your age and don’t be childish.”

Ash just nodded and walked off to her room while Hope followed Perry to her car. Once they were inside, Perry spoke. “How is she really?”

“She holds herself to very high standards and doesn’t give herself a break. I got her to see it from another perspective and another situation and it seemed to help.”

“Hopefully those two can talk about it now and have it cleared up quickly.” Perry said quietly.

Hope shook her head. “I think they need years to talk about it all. They are both broken in different ways. They are getting put back together slowly, but they need each other to be gentle. Now they are on the same page, it will be okay.”

Perry sighed. “Are you sure?”

“No. But when are we ever?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you all think? Comments and Kudos are very helpful
> 
> ellaaa25 xoxoxo


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